NotToBeTHATGuyBut

28740 pts ยท April 18, 2016


That's gonna leave a mark...

I once gave a female colleague trouble at work for taking the elevator. "You can't walk one flight of stairs?" Her reply, "There aren't any cameras in the stairwell." That was a learning experience.

2 days ago | Likes 44 Dislikes 1

Meeting icebreaker once asked everyone to name something they wished was never invented. People answered weapons of war, or technology they didn't like. My answer, religion, was met with awkward silence.

3 weeks ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

#11 Tea with Ms. McGill!

4 weeks ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

If they live in a warehouse, is it really abandoned?

1 month ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Out? In public? Where people are?

3 months ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

#1 My go-to response: "I like to drink alone and start fires."

3 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ivanka's bedroom?

4 months ago | Likes 45 Dislikes 0

Thank you, beat me to it.

4 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I saw my first Christmas TV commercial October 1. First radio commercial was the first day of fall. And I don't consume much media with ads. It's absurd.

4 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Hey, that's my job!

5 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

So we're just glossing over she hasn't seen her husband in months?

5 months ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

I used to work at a furniture store. The number of people wanting to strap a bedroom set to the roof of their car is mind-boggling.

5 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Boss: Use AI to write your annual review. Me: How does AI know what I accomplished? Boss: You need to give it prompts. Me: That sounds like writing my review with extra steps.

5 months ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

#8 Gloves have fingers. Elmo is a mitten.

5 months ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

This is the first time I've heard anyone say going down a slide is "riding" it. Is this common? Have I been Englishing wrong all my life?

6 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

A receding hare line!

6 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What do you call a row of rabbits taking a step backwards?

6 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I honestly had this said to me at a urinal once: "Are you single?"

7 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#4 reminds me of the first time I used my new Foreman grill. The non-stick surface was so slick my burger slid off onto the floor. It was ground beef.

7 months ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

I also like to sleep during car rides. My passengers, not so much.

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#10 Is that Hunter from MASK? Childhood memory unlocked.

8 months ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I suddenly have an urge to buy books. Not sure why...

8 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Akshually...he was born in Kentucky.

8 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#30 Allegedly...

8 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Fascinating

8 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I once gave a female colleague trouble at work for taking the elevator. "You can't walk one flight of stairs?" Her reply, "There aren't any cameras in the stairwell." That was a learning experience.

9 months ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

Or "For fucks' sake" if it's for the sake of many fucks.

9 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Pro tip: sleep on the floor. Can't fall off the floor.

11 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I like the billboards that just say "BEEF" If there is any demographic not needing to be told to eat beef, it's people driving through the middle of Kansas.

11 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

#7 Surprised they're all in English.

11 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0