I don't put any stock in Fake Internet Points, but for those that do, here's something interesting for you to read while you're here. The Comments That Put Me Over: 40,000 - "THE RUNT! LOOK AT THE LITTLE RUNT AT THE END! YOU CAN DO IT, BUDDY!" http://imgur.com/gallery/FJjaIdQ 50,000 - Part One: "Hold on a sec ..." Part Two: "There. Upvoting." http://imgur.com/gallery/mIdo3 60,000 - "Millions of brows furrow with the effort of trying to assign too much meaning to the picture. Turns out Hawking's account posted the pic /1 "without his knowledge, as the result of a permissions oversight. Upon learning of it, Hawking deletes the post. And chaos ensues as an /2 "even greater amount of effort goes into trying to understand his sudden anger toward the animal kingdom. Apocalypse imminent." http://imgur.com/gallery/yTylf 70,000 - "Suggest some fun vacations. "How about Disney World?" "How about Cancun?" "How about Romania?" "How about the Red Cross Blood Bank?" http://imgur.com/gallery/ssv4nco 80,000 - "Buddy, when I make the world's biggest poo, I'm FULLY AWARE that I'm making the world's biggest poo. Like, PAINFULLY aware. JOYFULLY aware." http://imgur.com/gallery/dmNcy 90,000 - "I don't see why Richard Ayoade always gets the best things: the best name, the best hair, the best comebacks ..."/1 "The best shirts and ties, the best memes, the best gifs, the best accent, the best buds (Chris, David, Noel), need I go on?" http://imgur.com/gallery/VjTHd 100,000 - "holy flipping shit that scared me don't do that" http://imgur.com/gallery/oYZ0s 110,000 - Well, can they hurry the hell up already? I'm getting eaten alive out here! The tiki torch does nothing! http://imgur.com/gallery/42fGX and more specifically http://i.imgur.com/9Q9bvUE.jpg 120,000 - Very pretty. And, on Imgur, I was totally expecting a dude in the last pic, pleasantly surprised. +1 http://imgur.com/gallery/GdX7f 130,000 - "Now Leaving Arizona" http://imgur.com/gallery/DjE1B 140,000 - I always try to walk through these scenarios in my head, and no version of events that I can imagine justifies firearms or smashing windows. http://imgur.com/gallery/uPCAQ 150,000 - "Hey baby! What time do you get off? Because this road will be closed until 6pm, but then we open one lane to account for evening traffic." https://imgur.com/gallery/WelSR 160,000 - I made a go of it for ten years as an English teacher. Teaching was the love of my life. Went back for a CS degree cuz I have four kids now. Make twice as much, very comfy. Wish teaching had been more lucrative or less like administering a prison. Maybe go back when I retire. https://imgur.com/gallery/AF9gs/comment/1142175523 170,000 - Probably had a halfie from the setup, too. That's gonna bruise. https://imgur.com/gallery/FIupy/comment/1164631413
#14 hoooooooooooly crap
Now how much harder will it be next time mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha
#15 fool, no one counts the bucket when you get home, you could have gotten away with it, just one precious piece
#11 always wanted to watch this with a bunch of people who already knew this bit, and then start telling the story and have them all groan and throw couch cushions at me mwah ha ha ha ha is that weird
#3 hells yes
#36 God, I wish
#10 *wouldn't
#40 this reads like one side of a really important phone call
This is the only practical option IMO
oh dear God no, you don't want the blade slowing down just as it reaches the bony part, spine first, then the fleshy parts, por favor
seems familiar, should I know this person?
don't let answering your own question preclude you from making a joke, even at your own expense --ESPECIALLY at your own expense
#3 on the left you see me laughing at this joke .5 seconds after reading it; on the right, me realizing it is about me 1.2 seconds later
#31 on your drink, huh, sure
#28 isn't that the gay one
#15 ah, another verse to Hallelujah
As soon as you give someone your information, they sell it to someone else right away anyway, so
ah yes the classics
YESSSSS thx
Oh man, sorry, I commented before checking to see if it was just a bunch of people shouting down differing opinions
Magnets? AC current? DNA pairings? Pulsars? Protons and electrons? Up quarks and down quarks? I don't really know, I'm just spitballing here. Ovulation and pregnancy are pretty on/off. Even species that change sexes change from one to the other, male/female. What else?
what movie is this from, I'm blanking
#16 is the joke that the stripper turned out to be a man?
Ahahahahahahahha
My absolute dream
The movie "Shaft" was technically black negro noir
Marriage is an ordinance, not the purvey of the state, so I support all divorce where the marriage is not for tax purposes. Separation of church and state.
Surprised he didn't do another one where the line is a zipper on a fur suit
#26 this pun is unforgivable
#12 you sure that isn't "Coceine Bears"? maybe I'm just remembering it wrong