The Only President In 130 Years Without A Dog. Coincidence Unlikely. The Eagles Could Not Be Reached For Comment.
723
119
27391
That Moment You Realize ‘Over There’ Means ‘Your Fucking Wallet Next Week’
47
20
1045
Petitien: The Most Ambitious Spelling In Canadian Political History. The Trailer Is Their Capitol Fucking Building.
40
17
18
Iran Made A Cartoon. It Was More Accurate Than The White House Press Briefing. Fucking Saturday Morning Foreign Policy.
1323
117
1648
More Arrests Than Tupac. Zero Self Awareness. Maximum Irony. This Is The House Judiciary Committee.
896
78
26375
He Didn't Need NATO. He Didn't Need Britain. He Didn't Need Anyone. Update: He Needs Fucking Everyone.
1399
215
46581
$7.25 An Hour Since 2009. 1460% CEO Pay Increase Since 1978. These Are Not Market Outcomes. These Are Fucking Choices.
1188
102
29370
We Have Destroyed 100% Of Their Military. They Keep Shooting Things. This Is Fine. ??
37
29
1401
Nobody Is Even Shooting At Us Said The President. Four Fucking Hours Later. Iran Shot At Them. Successfully.
284
91
21417
The Woman Who Shapes US Immigration Policy Learned About Digital Permanence The Hard Way
916
106
21775
He Signs His Truth Social Posts With His Full Name At 3AM As If We Might Forget Who Wrote Them. God Grant Me Fucking Serenity.
32
2
1303
The Government Confused Them On Purpose. Now It Wants The Money Back. Linda McMahon Is On The Case.
688
55
26634
War. Not War. Complete. Beginning. Peace. The Fortune Cookie Machine Got Struck By Lightning And Became Commander In Chief.
40
7
1275
Class Warfare With A Flag On It. $1 Billion Per Day. Your Cancer Research Didn't Make The Fucking Cut.
592
43
22624
Justice For Tater Tot. The Goat Saw This Coming.
29
9
1103
Secret Service Protocol Strictly Minimizes Physical Contact. The President Has His Own Fucking Protocol. It Only Applies To Women.
622
178
32427
The President of the United States announced he needs to 'go back and look at the war.' The room full of senior officials laughed and applauded. Six Americans are dead. This is the whole thing. This is literally the whole motherfucking thing...
41
16
1890
She Was Fired Mid Sentence And Replaced By A Man Who Tried To Fistfight Someone At A Senate Hearing. Thursday.
-7
20
1068
Hard Pressed To Think Of Any Nation That Would Do Something So Cowardly. That Was Written By An American. About America.
789
136
26205
In Fairness. — The President Of The United States. About American Soldiers Dying. In Fairness.
581
58
24076
Connect Four Dots: Putin. Iran. Dead Americans. Trump Won't Say A Bad Word About Russia. Use Whatever Crayon You Like.
15
3
660
Gold Star Families Deserve The Fucking Truth. The Pentagon Has Not Provided It.
-2
27
1388
She Brought The Receipts. The White House Brought Vibes And A Strongly Worded Relationship With Reality.
742
70
19675
God Save The King. Whoever's Fucking Kid He Actually Is.
48
34
1884
PALANTIR TECHNOLOGIES: DISRUPTING DEMOCRATIC POWER SINCE 2003. NASDAQ: PLTR. THIS IS NOT A CONSPIRACY THEORY. THIS IS A FUCKING QUARTERLY UPDATE.
464
49
10334
HR Has Reviewed The Republican Party's Performance This Week And Has Some Fucking Concerns...
41
17
1535
The Full Weight Of American Diplomatic Power Was Used To Secure A Baby Named Mike. God Fucking Help Us All.
31
8
610
FOUR FUCKING MONTHS?! ? My therapist needs a therapist just LOOKING at this! What in the absolute fuck are we doing here?!
70
56
2868
He Read The Constitution. Apparently That's A Security Threat Now.
544
68
6640
Somewhere in an Australian lab, a million human brain cells that never asked to exist are being made to shoot demons for science. The neurons have no opinions on this. Probably.
30
11
1253
"The Bass Pro Shop Dressing Room Has A Signature Scent And Kid Rock Is It"
29
23
1717
A Tiny Ice Forest Hidden on a Pine Branch ❄️
16
3
755
Updates Fucking Pending.
899
105
34839
They Found Water On Mars Before They Found It In The Mojave. Until Now.
565
217
23952
Some Of You May Die But That's A Sacrifice He Is Willing To Make From The 7th Hole
41
18
1222
Every Word Except The One That Would Have Ended This Immediately. Funny How That Fucking Works.
800
106
32040
We Always Choose The Bomber. Every Single FUCKING Time. Without Exception. The Bomber.
36
7
1060
"Sorry We Couldn't Staff The ICU, Here's A New Aircraft Carrier Though"
281
21
6435
We Tried This Twice Already But Sure Let's Get The Strongly Worded Letter Ready
968
91
33947
'Very Confusing Document. Lots Of Words. Some Of Them Very Long.'
108
21
2024
Carrion My Wayward Son
-6
1
146
'The Bag Was Declassified By Me Personally. Very Important National Security Items. Nobody's Business What Kind.' ?
-5
7
384
"Whatever The Dust Is Down There: A Foreign Policy Story"
57
15
1920
Excellence Was Never Optional for Alysa Liu
-5
2
137
Running on Pints & Patriotism ??
3
0
777
Modern Love the night before…Bootleggers at 6 AM for the gold medal game the morning after ?Sleep is temporary. Hockey glory is forever. ???
12
6
789
Flying monkeys. Cabinet ministers. Honestly hard to tell the fucking difference.
31
11
1888
I Didn't Watch It. I Was Sleeping Beautifully. The Best Sleep Ever Recorded.
36
19
1303
Average 3 A.M. "Truth" Session
16
31
1908
The Blanket Heard Round The World: Kristi Noem's Alleged Lover Edition
602
107
27477
A Bed And A Toilet: The Duke Of York's 66th Birthday Celebrations
28
5
853
Local Country Singer Discovers Actions Have Consequences, More At 11
625
73
26168
Trump's Libido Defense: Windmills Are The Real Horniness Killers
-7
4
826
Trump's Epstein Defense: 'I Was Blindfolded! For Unrelated Reasons
1112
139
37541
POV: You're mad about clean energy and the whales personally told you windmills are bad ?
34
19
1341
BREAKING: Aliens, Wind Turbines, and a Sharpie Walk Into a Conspiracy…
969
186
48644