ItsActuallyDavidNow

399662 pts · July 15, 2015


Prologue: /s indicates the previous statement was sarcasm. Chapter 1 The world is beautiful, the people within it tend to be shit. Don’t be shit. Help people when you can, ask them to pay it forward. Just be the good thing. I post pictures of my two boys Bowie and Clyde. I do this because they make me happy, so I hope seeing them makes you happy for a moment. Sometimes I go back in someone’s comments or posts and upvote their stuff that’s over a year old just so they get a notification. I don’t want to be world famous, only famous enough to get a little plaque at the Red Arrow letting everyone know David sat here at some point. I follow OC comic artists, and always upvote indi game devs. OC always. Chapter 2 My rules of sauce: Include the link to the original post or creator: +1 No link but artist name is visible: no up/down Crop out the artists name: that’s a downvoting Chapter 3 Why it’s actually David now: Worked at Best Buy: customer asks where she can check the amount on a gift card, it’s after Christmas, busiest time of the year. I say, “Any available register at checkout, in the departments, or customer service.” I was asked the same question 100 times and gave the same answer. Later, guy walks up saying, “Wut duh fuck is wrong with you?!” … Me: “How may I help you sir?” He says, “My wife waited in line at customer service for two hours because you said that’s the only place to get a giftcard check!” I gave him the same spiel I gave everyone asking about gift card checking, and he called me a liar. “No you didn’t, and I don’t like your answer (looks at nametag) Dave! I want to talk to your manager DAVE!” I radio the manager. The guy keeps swearing at me, says I must think I’m all that with a radio and nametag (fucking what?) Manager shows up, guy swears at him a while. Says he’ll call corporate about DAVE, he spends thousands at the store and won’t come back. After this, I removed my nametag and requested a new one that said David. Aaaand that’s my username story. ~fin~ Epilogue Oh, you’ve made it this far… I guess if this gets to the front page I’ll make you something from the wood shop. I don’t know what. I’ll pick something. P.S. Lassannn, if you ever read this, fuck you. https://i.imgur.com/IM6FMiG.jpeg

That is poop from a butt.

2 weeks ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 3

I like your memes.

3 weeks ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 7

I like your memes.

3 weeks ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 9

“I thought he was joking/I didn’t think he meant that,” is something I’ve actually heard more than once.

1 month ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I didn’t need to unmute to know which song he was singing.

1 month ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

I like your memes.

1 month ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 3

Your monitor comes with ads?

1 month ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You made me wake the baby up. Fucking asshole. Bitch. Stupid… fucking idiot.

♥️

1 month ago | Likes 71 Dislikes 0

If that “bird” is a true American Patriot, that man has everything to be afraid of.

1 month ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

An incredible country. I couldn’t find the real good food, but evening else about Slovenia made up for it

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Talking a lot of shit for someone in exterminatus range.

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Don’t let Little John’s name fool you, in real life, he’s very big.

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The emperor protects.

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I like your gif.

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Blood for the blood god!

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

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2 months ago | Likes 57 Dislikes 0

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

I get it. But keep those comments offline for your own safety.

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It probably won’t happen…

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

The rings with teeth on the right… where do they go?.. why do they go there?

2 months ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 2

They will shoot back.

2 months ago | Likes 345 Dislikes 16

2 months ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

Burner phone. Keep the SIM card separate until you need to use it.

2 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

#5 forehead kiss, you say?

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Oh… little church mouse, no.

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The video above show cases that.

2 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

What will happen when we shoot back?

2 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Take note, slave catchers. We have bigger guns.

2 months ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

I’d take an average Toyota.

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0