InoffensivePablum

495540 pts · October 12, 2017


I’ll let Margaret Atwood know you think she’s a hack.

1 day ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 1

Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.

1 day ago | Likes 101 Dislikes 7

The only real difference between these two is that one of them has to fuck the President. And, boy, is she glad he can’t tell the difference.

1 day ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Then you don’t exist. *poof*

1 day ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Every terrestrial vertebrate is a fish.

1 day ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Holy shit, that’s like a weeks lunch money!

1 day ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

gay

3 days ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

We got a black poodle and we couldn’t see him in the black beds so we got tan beds and then we got an apricot poodle and couldn’t see him in the tan beds.

1 week ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

The Weather Girls were originally signed to their label as “Two Tons O' Fun”. It’s Raining Men was cowritten by Paul Shaffer of SNL and head of the Lettermen band. Martha Wash of the Weather Girls is the woman who sings EVERYBODY DANCE NOW DUN DUNDUNDUN!

1 week ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

RRRUUUUUUNNNNNNN

1 week ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah? Lemme see that 401K balance?

1 week ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I loved the 90s. My first mortgage, two car notes, middle management meetings. It was a blast.

1 week ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Jacked like a beast. Adorably cute. Women are unreal.

2 weeks ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

*Bored

3 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well maybe they shouldn’t look so bombable!

3 weeks ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I don’t even wear clothes at all in my backyard.

3 weeks ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

In the 70s, I was obsessed with collecting Peanuts stationery, rubber stamps and pencil and paint sets.

3 weeks ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#13 Epic

3 weeks ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Trying to grab the knife from the babiy’s hand could harm either you or the baby. The best solution is to grab the baby firmly under the arms and shake it.

3 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I have learned to game the system. For the last 15 years, I have exclusively chosen GPs who are black women.

3 weeks ago | Likes 263 Dislikes 2

What if it’s in a pudding?

3 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I saw a bald eagle getting roughed up by a bunch of crows at my Publix a couple of weeks ago.

4 weeks ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I bought an 80 year old house in 1999. The Taco Bell 3 blocks away was very important to me during that period.

4 weeks ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I got a queen sized organic latex mattress. It weighs 120 lbs. It did not spring open like a Jack-in-the-Box.

4 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wouldn’t share her toothbrush, but you’d lick her butthole.

4 weeks ago | Likes 54 Dislikes 1

If they do both in the same day I think it goes to Oprah Winfrey.

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Do you get along with her girlfriend?

1 month ago | Likes 69 Dislikes 0

If the universe is deterministic, then there is no free will. If there is an omniscient God, then free will can’t exist.

1 month ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That Chopin; what a fuckin’ hack.

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

No, no, the arrangement between capitalism and labor is clearly one based on sound principles of fairness and egalitarianism.

1 month ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0