ICanHasJava

56043 pts · May 22, 2016


I'm mostly here to make stupid jokes. (Hi mostly here to make stupid jokes, I'm Dad!) I'll see myself out.

Coyly covering up that banana dong with her arms

3 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

Plåååååg doctor ?

3 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This is like mine and my boyfriend's relationship. Except he refuses to believe that I'm a Payless shoe, no matter how many times I show him

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

More like having kids with a man, only to realize he's the biggest toddler in your house and doesn't contribute. Yeah, no thanks.

3 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

What a fucking child

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You feeling jealous and insecure is exactly what she's going for. She knows you're better off without her. You'll get there, in time.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Sure, in the right setting. But day to day I need people to leave me alone, lol. Source: I'm a Dane

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Aww, this doesn't have the ending. He has trouble getting up and calls himself a stuckasaurus <3

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What a dunce. YOU are gonna be absolutely fine. You're beautiful and capable. He's a dick with communication issues.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Don't fucking force your dog to run next to your bike. If you wanna bike, leave the fucking dog at home!

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Even if it was ugly Brunhilda that's missing three teeth and smells vaguely like cat pee?

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Now imagine all of that sweet talk, but that at any moment this woman could overpower you and kill you. And that it happens frequently.

4 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 6

It definitely is racist to assume someone has a different country of origin than you if it's only bc they look different to you.

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Every single doctor I've met could use that. Some should really be forced to renew their medicine license like you do drivers'.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So, was the reason she didn't have a job bc she wanted to stay at home and clean for you or bc she couldn't?

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You need to talk to a professional, not just your dad. Thoughts of suicide are serious - don't take this lightly. Lots of hugs <3

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Not really. They're that important in their own minds, so it's ok. All of their anger is justified to them. All leftie anger is snowflakery.

4 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

As a Dane, we absolutely think it's tragic. But I think it's a laugh or cry situation. It's just so absurd.

4 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I think it's enough that they themselves give a shit

4 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 3

I'm Danish, mine too!

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Unless it isn't

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

To get the honey out of regular combs, you need centrifuges and stuff, plus the bees use resources on making the wax combs.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Weird how Imgur insists that it hates TikTok content, but loves it when it doesn't say it's from TikTok

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Or maybe his parents didn't push him at all and this is just what he wanted to do.

4 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

Do you see them all the time? I only see them if I squint

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not all of us were fucking nerds. I was, though. And am to this day.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I don't feel for her. I feel for the child. That mother deserves every bad feeling she feels.

4 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

The way the back dude keeps scooting to get their bits away from each other XD

4 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I'm betting this guy already had kids, so unless they died too, I'm not sure it's natural selection either. Just sad stupidity :/

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0