MRW the nurse says i have a strong pulse
-1
3
197
MRW i'm practicing soccer for the world cup
3
1
294
my friend johnny's reaction when he comes over
3
0
208
MRW I am a part of a circle jerk
1
2
182
MRW when i play GTA but i'm shit at it
4
0
400
MRW i feel a sneeze coming but its gone and the feeling is still there
5
1
273
MRW i'm a frilled lizard and i get startled by someone dressed a yellow
10
1
428
TIL Negan is the bear jew from World War II and is ageing really well
35
13
2133
MRW i eat a giant gusher
14
4
774
MRW my wife and I are trying to be romantic but we have a fucking hole in the roof and its snowing
19
3
768
MRW i'm trying to commit identity theft as a robot
7
0
315
MRW i am rehearsing a porno with the director
6
1
337
MRW i hit a pot-hole when driving
37
2
1741
A puppeteers reaction when they develop parkinson's
11
2
576
my rats reaction when i spiked his fruit with acid
4
0
290
MRW i'm a doctor and i am chatting with a girl and i see a suspicious mole on her chest
6
0
314
MRW i just took a burger from my friend bret and i need a tasty beverage to wash down the tasty burger
172
21
5602
MRW i try to see something far away
1
0
213
MRW im with my 2 friends and we have been waiting to get into disney world for the past 3 hours and all i want to do is just to go back to my air-conditioned hotel room
72
9
3020
MRW everyone forgets their PT belts
8
1
361
MRW i am trying to describe the bird i saw and where i saw it
0
2
139
MRW i'm an SS officer looking for jews but i have a potassium deficiency
4
7
523
MRW my partners and i don't know how to speak italian for an important project
4
1
382
MFW i spit out mouthwash that i had in for over a minute
4
0
295
MRW i'm a transformer that had just discovered milk
3
1
206
MRW when i am playing civ 5 and gandhi declared war and fires a nuclear missile at me
5
0
382
MRW i try to teach my daughter how to hunt but she cant hit shit
6
3
597
MRW i lose my virginity by banging a hooker in a dumpster
52
10
2242
MFW i'm trying to be romantic but i am prone to seizures
1468
55
75831
MRW i have short term memory loss and sometimes i repeat myself
1
0
370
MRW i visit my super religious parents during break and they find out i don't go to church while i'm choking on my food and my brother does nothing and just watches.
5
3
371
MRW i get a bingo at my local bingo charity drive
17
7
804
MRW im navy and i accept the jokes that chair-force and ground thumpers make at us
16
12
674
MRW my want-to-be scientist son tries to breed a super fish but fails miserably
14
4
537
MRW i apply for student loans to get through med school
1772
145
115512
MRW i'm an alien from mars impersonating a human plumber and i don't know how to use their primitive tools
6
1
462
MRW my wife shirley says that she wants to put it in my butt
13
3
478
MRW i have been waiting at the DMV for nearly 2 hours and the man next to me is trying to discreetly masterbate
10
3
524
MRW 2 gay guys approach me in a bar and ask if i want to join for a three-some
7
17
549
MRW my grade school teacher tells me when i make the best play-doh snakes
2
1
363