GMark

13188 pts · May 30, 2013


A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly because it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars that shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini-raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindbogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you - daft as a brush, but very very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough. More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in the possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit, etc etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker may accidentally have “lost”. What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still know where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with. Hence a phrase which has passed into hitchhiking slang, as in “Hey you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There’s a frood who really knows where his towel is.”

That's a weird thing for an American dude to say.

7 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I mean, that's great if you're looking to de-mast your opponent, but nothing says, "clear the decks me boyos" like cannister or grape.

10 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Ah, a fellow fan of poliorcetics. An old post I have stumbled upon by sheer good luck.

10 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Best to keep the fingering consensual, I suppose.

11 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I bet you are the same type of person who de-planeted pluto :(

1 year ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

surprise. we're friends now.

1 year ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

The worst year or your forties... so far.

1 year ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

...where does one start to learn this?

1 year ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Video started like, "What are you doing, step-elephant?"

1 year ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

For real, that is a cool stick, tho.

1 year ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If you don't pick the sister who can cook, you're making a mistake.

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

the human body produces few things that can't be removed by soap and water.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

She was just brave/drunk enough to say what everyone knew already.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You just need to read the first paragraph of the foreword to get the gist of it.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I think in the olden days, we didn't have any idea these names would follow us around so long.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Thiccer than cold grits.

2 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

Additionally, you may wish to google what an employee of a nuclear power plant makes.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

and then he went motorboating.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

This was my train of thought too. I used it free for years as a broke mf. Once I started doing okay, it was time to pay my way. Thanks WinRar for being patient.

2 years ago | Likes 39 Dislikes 0

I hope you sent over a plate of cookies.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I'm just happy someone remembered that Hairless Rowdybois and Asshole Hairless Rodybois are different. Used to be able to tell from your laces.

2 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 0

You can almost hear the flytrap whispering, "Shhh, just relax."

2 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

That photocopier is more than meets the eyes.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I really think the dog is worth at least 2 gallons.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

...also, you can add caraway and currants for change. And it cooks nicely either on a sheet pan or, as my family does it, a cast iron frying pan.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

shoulda used currants instead. or crasins.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If you have to go a little heavy on something, go a bit heavy on the buttermilk. Don't overwork the dough--its like biscuits: get things mixed and in the oven ASAP once you combine the dries and wets.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's exactly what the crocodiles would say.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Same.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

We're all approximately the same height when we're horizontal.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0