DeguInACage

1618 pts · February 1, 2015


(Also, congrats on living somewhere sane. Any chance you want to adopt a married couple in their 30s?)

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Don’t rub it in.

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

v

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Good to know! You’re only an hour from me, so if you ever offer tastings, I’d love to bring my husband!

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Just realized you’re only an hour from us! Do you do tastings during your open hours, or just sell retail product?

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I was once licked on both cheeks by a stranger in an 18+ club.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Shit! Does that mean I have to divorce my husband now?

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

THAT TINY TONGUE!!!

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

My dog was given back because the new home had horses. Dog wanted to “play”, horses did not agree. Can’t be upset though- he’s ours now!

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I’VE ACTUALLY DONE THIS IN REAL LIFE!!!

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

(2/2) that he would get zero credit. I owe him a big thank you for that.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My dad did this for me (his daughter). He helped me plan elaborate birthday surprises for my mom, knowing she wouldn’t reciprocate and (1/2)

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It’s a play on Hamilton. That dog is NOT throwing away his shot.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I’ve got an old Nokia that could make that drop no problem. It may even still have some battery left from when it was charged in 2008.

7 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

I had a customer who ordered a 14 pump mocha with Splenda in a “for here” cup on a weekly basis.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

TIL that sharkos are really just very wet, sharp doggos in disguise

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Mine was only that way during the last couple dances of the night. It was “get me out of this dress or I’m gonna vomit”, which wasn’t fun.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Not my jam, but better than self-deprecating humor. I’d rather avoid the pick up lines and have a legit conversation.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I’m tired and thought these were goats until I read your comment. I didn’t know why the goats were separated into two sections.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I mean...I’m a woman, so I’m in a solid position to make the suggestion...

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My husband showed me this and compared it to our puppy and I. He prefaced it with “this isn’t really you, but it’s kind of you”. #imthepig

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

2/2 sit next to a beautiful woman”

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Why not make it about her? “I didn’t realize they upgraded me!” When she asks how, say “I thought they charge extra to 1/2

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I mean, anyone who has ever accidentally “sharpied” something knows the trick. Pro tip: also works on whiteboards if you need it.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

2/2 it until a couple years ago, when I realized he never had a watermelon in there. Sounds silly, but the fib makes me smile even now.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

For instance, my grandfather was a farmer and had a big belly. He told me it was from swallowing a watermelon seed. I didn’t think about 1/

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

It lets them believe in magic for a little while. And when they realize it years later, they usually love that you made it so special.

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Love this so much! FYI- I couldn’t see a photo of the information paper anywhere on the mobile version of your site. May be good to add it.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

3/3 kids around her started shouting “meth” at her, while the principal watched in horror. One of my funniest teaching moments so far.

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0