Closeenoughforthis

4097 pts ยท April 7, 2019


40something dude in California.

My favorite memory of one of these jets involves daydrinking in the backyard at my homie's cheap rental house that was directly in the landing path of the local air national guard base. We were cheering it on for some reason, and our other buddy decided to moon the damn thing. I like to hope they saw his disturbingly white ass.

6 days ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I see it as a "good for him, but either really good or really bad for his partner" situation.

3 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sounds like we're facing a new tragic prelude.

4 weeks ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'm gonna start telling my kids that they are. As a joke.

1 month ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ah, yes. The Hodaka combat wombat. 125cc's of pure marsupial-named dirt bike rage.

1 month ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Illiterate orange scumbag usually adds unnecessary punctuation, but I think this is correct.

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm not convinced that this isn't a puppet.

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Schrodinger's protesters: simultaneously soft, weak liberal snowflakes and dangerous antifa supersoldiers.

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

1 month ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The only part of my jeep that worked reliably.

1 month ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My idiot creature is a proud (indoor only) hunter. He's really good at murderizing socks and the occasional zip tie, but isn't so great with things that actually move.

1 month ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Don't worry, bud. You'll get your chance.

1 month ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

*extremely bullet resistant.

1 month ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Can we get an immodesty goose? Asking for a friend. A friend who is me.

1 month ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

If it helps, nothing is really bulletproof. Everything is varying degrees of bullet resistant, so becoming "moderately bulletproof" is a hell of an achievement that you should be very proud of.

1 month ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Just wanted to add this: Neutrogena makeup wipes (or store brand version) are amazing for decontaminating exposed skin. Works on oc and cs. Water and fresh air work well to get it out of your eyes. Blink. A lot. When you get home, take a cool shower (hot water reactivates oc). Wash exposed skin and hair with dawn or similar dish soap. Castile soap works too. Wash your clothes on the hottest setting you can. Multiple rinses if possible. Dry hot.

1 month ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

If you're that good, it definitely is an art form.

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I've never been sad about being able to read. Until now. Thanks for that.

2 months ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

#16- I'm a kinda whitish guy from California. I much prefer earthquakes, fires, floods, and the existence of Oildale to tornadoes. Also diversity is pretty fucking cool.

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Damnatio Memoriae. Erase their names from history.

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I will add this to the positive column.

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The only thing wrong is the "50k and a lifetime of shame". These fuckers aren't ashamed.

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

*stares scornfully at my 8 and 1 year old idiot creatures*

2 months ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Pull the Uno reverse card. Shark jumps on your boat? Dive into the ocean and show that fucker how the game is played.

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I ended a twenty five year friendship with someone who expected me to lie to his wife about his cheating after he got caught. Fuck that shit.

3 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'd hazard a guess that his palms were sweaty. I don't know about the spaghetti, but he's not wearing a sweater, so it's possible he may have vomited on it, already.

4 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I had a Vietnamese giant centipede as a "pet" for several years. Got tagged once, and that shit hurt enough that I got really careful after that.

4 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Am I your friend?

5 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I want a little more assurance than 98%. There are a few ways I can think of to get there.

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

There is no cohesive narrative with this fucker.

8 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1