I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a Mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But I have not yet gone to college.
Having killed all the Malfoy's, turning back, "Dobby's free elf now".
The only fault dog have are that they only live short.
@Op bringing quality reposts. 10k+ points in 4 days.
You mean Buttercup Cumbersnatch?
couldn't agree more. It was all CN's fault.
Sure thing :D Have a good day kind Internet stranger.
Why thank you again :) His name is happy, 'cause he was a birthday gift and it was the only gift I got and that made me really happy.
Thank you kind Internet stranger. I'll make sure he'll know someone said he's cool :D
Try Trainwreck: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/trainwreck/
more of a cat person though.
"Trump won as president", is scarier.
He's not your buddy, lad!
Isn't it supposed to be man-man?
Yeah, best season for me are 1-5. They just dragged the show after S5.
https://the-artifice.com/why-the-how-i-met-your-mother-series-finale-was-actually-genius/
"Who Wants to Be a Godparent?(S8E4)". I think.
Yey, I'm not the only one.
Love shouldn't be explainable, but it still would be the easiest thing.
/a/SfoxP
The only fault dog have are that they only live short.
Fu*king greg bought me weird shit again. Cat probably.
Ass on you, I'm a jokes man.
Yes.
© Art of Jeff Victor
Heh, Poop.
Get off nerd!
just jamie enjoying music.
have you tried turning it on and off?
This makes me calm, makes me want to take all my toys outside and play again. I miss being a kid, all this responsibility is eating me.
The guy passed out then wakes up like nothing happened. Cool dude.