Oooh, look - a bio thing. I've learned a few things and done a few things and it's been a good life. I've seen a decent chunk of the world and met enough nice people that I wouldn't necessarily advocate the destruction of earth by aliens. I also think we could use a really good sized apocalypse to thin the herd somewhat. I'm a dad, and it turns out I'm surprisingly good at it. I was a husband and wasn't any good at it at all. Then I was a husband again and I'm really good at that. Marrying the right person matters, people. I'm a full-time executive for one of the biggest IT companies on the planet and was a part-time firefighter/EMT on the side until I realized I was getting too old for those kind of antics. I've run into burning buildings to save people. I've tried saving patients and had them die on me. In my youth I've been a bartender, a radio DJ, a comic, a clown, a bouncer, a rugby player, and I once had a featured role in an award-winning independent short film. I earn my imaginary internet points by commenting on other people's work. It's a simple life here in UserSub, but we get by. "Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry." - Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
According to PJ O’Rourke’s civic book, “Parliament of Whores”, the three branches are money, television, and bullshit.
Better question: why is Murtry up there in the pic but no Miller?
I have seen a shocking number of these. Guess I’ll try to round out the set as much as I can.
#4 Leo G. Carroll was over a barrel when Tarantula took to the hills.
Everyone out here just ignoring the siren call of being a worm for a quarter century. Just vibing in the sweet, delicious dirt until this all blows over. But also some dragons too.
You know the exhibits with big ass strong animals in them? Like gorillas and tigers? You ever tap on that glass and realize that it’s thick and strong as hell. That’s what that modern wordsmith meant.
#5 I quite like Tuesdays. I get to see people I very much like at pub trivia on Tuesday nights, and I look forward to it every week.
#6 Holy *carpybara.
Right? It’s an Irving Berlin Broadway show tune.
#34 Given the season, I’ll share that there’s an old Universal horror movie from 1958 called Monster on the Campus and the plot is a scientist imports a dead coelacanth from Madagascar and anything it bleeds on turns into a prehistoric monster. Fun flick.
#5 it also helps dyslexics who often have to rely on context cues for reading and fucken hate it when words are all strung together like lowercase bastids.
#30 Back in the ago-times, Prince taught us that was called “grinding”. And the youths did grind, and it was pretty terrific I gotta say.
#9 While paleontologists are almost certainly not making dinosaurs look weird enough based on limited fossil records, in this case, it’s probably a “no”. Look at the massive shoulder blade on the bison. The fins on a spinosaur are entirely dorsal.
To allow for a spectrum of answers, we should be asking… https://media1.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJldTM1ODlvcG4zNTBhcTkzaDFtOWN2NmFjaWcxaHQwbHFjejduY3h1NiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/11SIBu3s72Co8w/200w.mp4
Fun fact: Ben Folds wrote that song.
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJla2t1cHZsNDIxZ3VrdDN1cWUyM3o5enpoaG9zcDFka2dsdnpzdzByeiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/fQGq4s4Q04vAh07TNm/200w.mp4
Boo****
#9 Crust-IT the Clown.
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJlbXIyZnVwemMxZnJraHlldHBucDF4eGcwbGM2dDAzNWplaDBoYm82YyZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/qSHiKBlF1UTOo/200w.mp4
#40 (Cue the harmonica)
#6 He went on to produce No Doubt’s debut Tragic Kingdom, so I guess he did pretty ok after his one hit.
From the behind the scenes reel: https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJlMHVyYWRmY25yZWxqMHhqdGMyZng4aXR4YTYxMGFxN210a3V5eWJjbyZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/YqHMVSYXIMEiA/200w.mp4
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJlZ21tMzY0ODV1OGx6ODdwMm96cnBheGplZTZlczdkdGR3cXBrODJtMCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/AsKrIBsWIhlnnwheaS/200w.mp4
#1 IMPORTANT USER TIP: when pulling beads, think “slow and gentle” rather than “pull starting a Husqvarna chainsaw”.
#30 As a certified pale pink person, I freely gift permission to enjoy shower beers to all the peoples of the world without worrying if it’s cultural appropriation. You’re all white with me.
“That’s yours” https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJlN204aWN3enBtdnJxOHMyZXJueWxvcGdzemUwYmlpbm4xYjh4enVobCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/9EwnzGNjvmIG4/200w.mp4
Whenever someone says “boys will be boys”, this is the kind of shit I picture in my head.
https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJlM3Z4YXU1MDI0ajRjZ2V1OTFlY3R0dXlmcnh4Nmpjbzlta3h6N2RpNCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/hFROvOhBPQVRm/giphy.mp4
Some might say not enough crab. Reject modernity, become crab.
https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJlbWZ0aDJ1ZmJxNzJndGlybGtyNHVmbnlsYjJhOW9mdHFlYWg5a3oyaiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/WPYDOFlzybMoH4gOAO/giphy.mp4