AuditorInCharge

11135 pts ยท September 16, 2015


Nudes and/or pleasant conversation is always appreciated.

Impressive!

3 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

TBH, if I'm dead, become a ghost, and can do/go anywhere I want, I am sure not going to stick around and wash windows!

3 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

While I usually don't take parenting advice from a creature that dies after their kids hatch, Tiny Octopus is right on this one.

3 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 2

Well! We found the straight Imgur.

3 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Well, he does love the uneducated.

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm going to say that it had something to do with the cost of gutter cleaning.

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Are those missiles held on by zipties?

3 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Of course he is. You have all of the Repubs cheering him on all of the time. /s

3 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It's a Netflix original. I am on season 3 now. Love it!

3 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 1

And all for 8 miles to the gallon.

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

These Russian gender reveals are getting ridiculous!

3 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Dad!?!? Is that you?

3 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I think it's time for a new Constitution. One that is over 200 years old needs updating especially with the belief system at the time.

3 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

He did say "or less."

3 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

The JW religion has a shortage of eligible bachelors. If you're willing to convert, you have your pick of "handmaidens."

3 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 3

2/2 Please be very specific in your Bible. We have seen how this whole "open to interpretation" worked out in previous versions.

3 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Just for clarification, does the anal sex have to be between the same sex? Or is opposite sex okay? What if you prefer to top? 1/2

3 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Maybe we should hang out sometimes. You sound like someone I would like to be friends with.

3 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hey, hey, hey! I am a die-hard Democrat voter stuck in a red state. My state votes 45+% Democrat. The entire state is not an enemy.

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hopefully it's not the Brooklyn bridge. I already bought it twice.

3 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I find it hard to trust when Republicans say stuff like this after Trump swore we would never see him again if he lost. /s

3 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

2/2 Something about making the brain have to focus on something else made it forget it was hiccuping.

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My exwife used to just ask people questions that they would have to really think about. By the third question, their hiccups were gone. 1/2

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We have one of these at the warehouse of the company I work at. It is almost orgasmic to watch it work.

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"Imma gonna eat them." "Oh, yeah! We're going to eat them all." "As soon as we get out there, we're eating them." "Definitely!"

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Must work. I don't see any scarecrows in that gif.

3 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

In the book, Charlie's dad was alive, and he was the one working multiple jobs to keep them all alive. The movie killed off Charlie's dad.

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#7 I want this poster, but XKCD no longer sells it. If you know where I can get one, please message me.

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm pretty sure that at least several people realized that they were gay while playing Twister, so it's relevant.

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0