Americanski

14103 pts · August 17, 2016


Longtime lurker, first time post'er, huge fan.

I could never put hoops in my lips. I absentmindedly stuff so much grub in this pie hole a fork would take them out day one.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

If my name was Krystal Vittles, my AKA on my rap sheet would be Rock Candy.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I’m in Harbor Freight House. I went to the community college down the road.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The great thing about raising mimes is the quiet. The bad thing is apparently there are invisible ropes everywhere.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It’s tragic. The muggle bastard even got Harry Potter.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Her- “He never complained!” (Dead Hubby)
Doc- “Lockjaw makes that difficult.”

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I don’t have my glasses, is that uncle Ben or Aunt Beru on the left?

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Bearachutists

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ohmygosh I hope when her personal assistant told her about this and the PA had already hired a team and fixed it, it put a slight pall over the first few seconds of her morning coffee and virgin blood and milk bath.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

1st, I like that the square extinguisher is made by Oval. 2nd,my old roomie won a car on TPIR and didn’t get the license plate cover. Bummer

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Driving tired can be just as dangerous as driving drunk. Fact

3 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

You are amazing. Thank you!

3 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Any drywall before the mid 70’s had asbestos in it. Take a spray bottle and water and dampen down the area as you go. Wear a dang mask.

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It looks like that truck’s parking brake was…disabled.

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I like his Panera shirt. Their soups are awesome. My favorite is A Vulgar Display of Chowder.

3 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Like you’ve never farted that hard.

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

OMG MCM 4 $15?!? G4U

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Thanks again!

3 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Can you please tell me what it’s called? Thanks

3 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

48 hrs PTO. Transfer from CA to GA Won’t let me use PTO because GA laws are different(Favor employer)oh base pay cut to a 7th 16 yrs with co

3 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I swim every day. Do as much as you can comfortably in 20 mins. Do that for a week or so. Up it when you feel capable. I’m over an hour now.

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ainus

3 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

“Sculptures like these were for the male gaze?” They were public and there were naked dudes too. Vanity isn’t a selfie. 100 is.

3 years ago | Likes 99 Dislikes 17

Most big game hunters mount their trophies above the mantle. But this is nice too.

3 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

If you watch they were unfolding dry table cloths. They didn’t bother to wet them.

3 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 1

I’m currently 3.8 miles away from Mason’s Super Dogs! Normally I oppose child labor but since he’s his boss I’ll make an exception. Onmyway!

3 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

Taurus hit and run.

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Am I the only one who thinks she’s dressed like Dolores Umbridge?

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Boop the snoot.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0