GroovyTrips
118723
1916
83
https://brobible.com/culture/article/mark-zuckerberg-armpits-blow-dry-speeches/
Feb 20, 2020 11:11 AM
GroovyTrips
118723
1916
83
https://brobible.com/culture/article/mark-zuckerberg-armpits-blow-dry-speeches/
NotHardly
Well, at least it was only the armpit hair.
UnpopularOpinionToMany
Condensation from the heat exchanger under the breast plate. They should have routed a drain to a different location.
ihopethisusernamewillbelongenoughsopeoplewillnoticeme
RobJenkins
Always looks damp
Skawomplious
Lizard people are reptiles and don't sweat. This is a false flag operation to make us think he's a people.
TheRealDurdan
Oh I read it like he made an employee blow-dry the employee’s arm pits, and I was like “yeah that’s weird” but his own? Dude
QuigleyDownUnder
In my brain the employee isn't using an electric dryer.
ThatGuyWhosFunAtParties
I still marvel at the fact that Facebook, the ruler of data and human behavior, had not managed to produce a CEO that passes a Turing test.
justbob806
This is about as believable as any news on Facebook...
milchuck1000
Look if you can pay somebody to wax your asshole you should be able to throw somebody some cash to blow dry your armpits.
Noworkee
Wait whos armpits......this is important
eiffel65
Sure, I'm going to believe anything anybody says!
JosXII
pretty sure this massive nerd who locked himself up most of his life is terrified of giving speeches
rebelhead
So what?
mysticchicken
senseicombs
Hey if he needs that and he is paying good money to someone that feels its worth it to donit I am ok with it. Not hurting anyone, hopefully.
sirlapins
suckberg
DriverIRQnotlessOrEqual
Lizard people’s sweat glands normally require him to lay upon a warm rock and bask in the sun
NotTinyPancakes
Really hard for an anti social shut in to do too
DukeDarkwood
Zuck's not a lizard person, he's a robot. That said, I cannot rule out that he was built by the lizards, but it was done to imitate a human.
yhppy
Meanwhile hundreds of millions of people eat each others assholes for fun
NotTinyPancakes
"this meal tastes like crap" "I made it myself"
arbanblade
While this is weird(if true) its not that freaking weird. Ive heard of celebs or others doing similar things to avoid stuff like this. /1
arbanblade
Having someone do it for you negates the need to produce more sweat trying to overcome the problem. Plus they can get better angles. /2
arbanblade
And yeah i get the whole robot joke here. But seriously he probably has an assistant that either had the idea or was fine with doing it./3
mattsall
Cheaper than fixing the leak I guess
NotTinyPancakes
It looks bad when the oils dripping on stage
awesomespeler
It’s the apparent lack of eyelashes that seals the non-human look he’s so famous for.
BenderBenderBender
And in some photos, an apparent lack of eyebrows
TheDudzzly
Also, the apparent lack of emotions
WendyTheWendigo
oh FUCK!
thehotsoup
Is this uncommon? Asking for a friend
phosphene
Prob happens to enough ppl to be more than uncommon. Possible job opp there? If friend is simply moist, product called certain-dri can fix
Seanspeed
Sounds like he gets nervous and sweats before a speech like a normal human being. Just a rich one who can have his armpits blowdried. lol
LooseyGooseyBrett
I used to get bad pit stains, the weird thing that stopped me from getting them was switching from an anti perspiration to normal deodorant
mechengineer1991
There’s a few early interviews he’s done when FB started and you can actually see him sweating profusely. Public speaking is hard.
MuthaGoosPettingZoo
I'll blow dry your armpits for pennies on the dollar
Whiteoak789
He is probably very introverted but is forced to be out in the spotlight I couldn't imagine that stress. He should just get botox though.
Cakeportal
Eh, the fucker deserves it.
Taxonomyanomaly
If it was the person who’s job was his hair/makeup attire, that seems sensible
Imademyselfsquirtle
Bet her gets paid either very well on in fish.
haveyouheardabouttheseinternetmemes
...are you having a stroke? Do you need us to call someone?
Imademyselfsquirtle
I honestly think you should. Wow I need to turn my grammar app to on.
Billy2sweet
Probably gets a shit ton of money to do it too.
Europhoric
Yeah, this is basically what it's about.
barbarian818
Look at that hair again and try to tell me a professional was involved in that choice. That's the minimal haircut of a guy who doesn't want
barbarian818
to spend any time at all on his hair if he can help it.
Gbizzle
Yeah, but the headline is less grabbing if it said he gainfully employed a person to do his hair/appearance
VodkaReindeer
Hair? Surely not.
Arcanum3000
Article says "an executive member of the company’s communications arm".
MagiicHat
Titles are bs. Is making sure executives look presentable their job or not?
Kargathia
The intern printing handouts also is an "executive member of the communications arm", so that's all but meaningless.
motorwaffle
That could easily mean "live communication coordinator" with duties including hair, makeup, dress and the like.
blaid0
Wait, the employee's armpits or Mark's?
crisb
Ha! What now oxforda-comma supporters?!
doodlecop
Yeah my question exactly lol
EpitomeofMediocre
I read the article and it says he had an employee blow dry Mark's armpits for him.
WombatWithWholeWheatWish
Wow. That’s a weird fetish.
evilcarp
Not as weird as the employee who enjoyed doing it.
NotTinyPancakes
Bet it was volunteer work
Il1kepuns
Why? Robots don't sweat.
Masier
I think they prefer to be call androids.
alexstamat
Blowing the dust out of his circuits.
LizardEnterprises
Didn't you hear? Bruce Maddox managed to create flesh-and-blood androids.
HappyEngineer
Exactly. Proves definitively that he's a Normal Human Being. Not a robot at all. No sir.
TheBitSlinger
First law of robotics.. “No pit stains”
Iwilleatyourchicken
Terminators do.
DagashiDreams
Advanced ones do: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/01/200130081624.htm
drunkenvulcan
Yeah, because they make humans blow dry their armpits.
LoudAngryJerk
which makes the fact that he did it anyway extra disturbing
Lostradefaog
His loosing coolent in an alarming rate
levijom
0x636f6e64656e736174696f6e
Importaku
Beep boop coolant leak detected. Must assist in drying hardware.
commandpostgamma
coolant leak
TheDudzzly
Sir, are you aware that you are leaking coolant at an alarming rate?
proracing53
Sorvadi
HairyBigToe
Hes a lizard who just came out of his heated glass terrarium
eatassskatefaster
Lizards are exothermic and do not sweat. We’ve been wrong about him all along.. What the FUCK is he?
thatguy1843
He is an alien posing as a lizard in a human suit
NoNoNodontstoparockin
It all depends on how much he pays that person and wether or not they agreed to it. Additionally, if he didn't fully take off his shirt 1/2
NoNoNodontstoparockin
and he just held it open at the bottom with 2 hands he would need a 2nd person to hold and operate the blow dryer. Just sayin'
JHawke
Don't know about you, but I for one can hold my shirt open at the arms and use the free hand to operate a blow dryer.
NoNoNodontstoparockin
So you pull the sleeve down at the wrist and point the blower down the sleeve ?
JHawke
Ye
NoNoNodontstoparockin
Yi
davebeastly
Why doesn't he just wear Tarmpax like the rest of us?
WeSingLalaWhileTheDevilDoesTheChaCha
In my language Tarm means colon, so Colon Peace?
draconyum
weerdo
Or get botox
dolphindreamsandsatan
this made me actually chuckle aloud... :-) Thanks!
Muttons1337
You just blew my mind
pacal1171
Did you just call Zuckerberg a pussy?
davebeastly
A sweaty one.
ctun
What's Tarmpax?
davebeastly
It's a pun.
EndersdoyouthinkthisisafuckingGame
Tampax, but in Texas.
DeltaByte
Not much, what's tarmpax with you?
rightinthekisser
rdhao
Tanpax for arms, id wager.
InAMellowTone
What's Tanpax?
rdhao
A tampon brand
MstrES
Pax for Tan people, I wager
Caspooky
What's people?
YesYouJustLostTheGameAgain
Things I needed to know were answered, thanks