violentdingo
329802
13859
598
if this gets me to renowned, ill post my number. Fp edit: https://imgur.com/gallery/3Vsal
whatexactlyisthefunctionofarubberduck
Brilliant dump in general, good you blocked out names on fb. But is very offensive about ppl with disabilities.
ConnorWalton
Wait how can you drink weed
thelizardking24
Wait a minute. Do mcdonals in the U.K. have ice cream machines that are actually on?
wisdafu
Paintings are hung; criminals are hanged.
usernametakenisthestoryofmylife
Fucking Linda. Snap it up a chair, woman...
IreallywantmynametobeSpaghetti
+1 for Bobanders and Mr. Lahey
RetroPhantom
Give us ya phone number, @op!
BeckyLookAtHerButt
Maybe the driving instructor wants one to calm his nerves.
jetstreaminfinity
You're now Renowned, @OP. Come on. Phone number.
violentdingo
The link is in the description of the last image
SuzetteTheSmoreSchnappsGirl
im mad the letters on the "at least I'm not a nigger" shirt are in the Archer font
bungholes
This dump had new material and was extremely satisfying +1 OP
feastkey
I did the math 17.5 ducks = 1 horse
RainbowUnicode
Seems accurate, given you could coordinate all those ducks to pull a sleigh, etc.
divitu
"Hands behind your back, Ethan" "It's Brad." "Okay, Todd."
DrakesOnaPlain
Mediocre jokes: The Post
Snuggletummy
I'll be waiting for your phone number.
mrmeatflaps
With respect to #5, when the verb hang is used in the context of an execution, the past participle is "hanged". Regards, some loser.
HighSlayerRalton
What's "girly" about finding some who treats you right? Are men not supposed to look for that in a partner?
farwall
So does "laying pipe" mean taking a shit in the US like it does in the UK?
chiggerloo
Nah, buddy. In the US, it means giving the hot dickins.
farwall
That makes a little more sense, yeah.
DukeDarkwood
This is why the gulf between us is the size of an ocean. Oh, wait, you think it's a pond.
OnceYouPopYouCantStop
I can't unsee the skiing rabbit.
rgk771
help the rest of us.
OnceYouPopYouCantStop
Top of bird (left wing) are the ears. Bird head is front of skis. Legs are ski pole. Going downhill towards left of picture.
ThisUserNameReallySucks
Phones used to be on *cords*
Bohjaangles
fuck my spelling apparently ripped its heart out through its kneecaps, didnt even notice that
litgeek306
Was so confused as to why phones used to play guitars.
LilacDreamer
Thanks for that chuckle!
zildjianate
#5: Hanged, not hung.
squeekymcclean
Exactly!
ComehereAreyouticklish
"spread it all over mom"..... :-/
spankbox
Post your phone number bitch
[deleted]
[deleted]
spankbox
Thank you kindly
13thDukeofWybourne
So Jesus is Hitler but Hitler is fighting Jesus. I'll never understand this Trinity thing...
iMrEnigma
It was payback cuz the Jews killed Jesus
Tempcore
There is no jesus for the jews. Probably just made yahweh look like jesus, even though they have no image of god, unlike Christianity
YungAdolf
Hitler is fighting God, pretty sure Jews don't believe Jesus was the son of God so he wouldn't be their king
TooLazyToDoSomethingElse
If you've seen C&H comics you would know that is Jesus, because God is a different character.
ashmenon
Multiverse.
UnregisteredHypercam2
When was Hitler ever fighting Jesus? Hitler was Christian, against the Jews who don't think Jesus was holy at all, that's a Christian thing
13thDukeofWybourne
It's #8 above
UnregisteredHypercam2
OH, but when was Jesus, hitler?
pickledcheerios
And why would he shave only half of his beard into the Hitler 'stache??
DidNoOneNoticeThis
Because you can't show someone shaving if they're already clean shaven.
Foxhack
Time Paradox.
InfocalypseRising
FISSION MAILED
Tiltapotamus
A temporal pair a socks
CrimsonFuckr
iunderstoodthatreference.gif
C4H10
NotSoSmartAlek
New England beaches. The air is colder than the water.
WowSoSparkly
Brittany in France. It gets chilly sometimes, but them castles are not going to build themselves, Steve!
pinkisevul
Northern California
ChristineZappella
The last supper was on a Thursday.
WoopDeFrickenDoo
Ah yes on the day of Thor, of course.
TheArrestingAbhorrentArrantAbominableAlliterator
Don't try to apply knowledge to this. This is memedom!
Heavymettle
How did they measure that? They guess a general season for Jesus' birth (on stars) but they know exact day of the supper? I'm not buying it.
LettucePrime
According to the story, two days later was the Sabbath - a Saturday.
Heavymettle
How did they measure that to Saturday? They didn't have our calendar so people would have to have means to measure the approximate day.
Heavymettle
If that is the case, then they don't really know that it was on those days, just that Romans adopted it to the days retroactively.
Heavymettle
The only thing I could find is that those days were decided during Roman rule based on the blending of Pagan & Christian ideology and dates
LettucePrime
The Modern Gregorian Calendar is just and update of the then-used Julian Calendar: a 7day week that functioned alongside a 7 day Jewish week
LettucePrime
2/? I know for a fact the names wouldn't have been the same, but traditionally, it's assumed that the period of the Earth's Rotation WE call
Heavymettle
This is the kind of response I wanted. Upvotes all over.
DrRichardKimble
fucking Karen
DaryltheDeathclaw
Well, ever since she changed it from Kitty....
enneque
Every Karen I've known has been the worst
Otterhendrix
Me ex wife's name is karen sooooo......
EccentricNimoy
Same. Also Debbie, Barbara, Shiva
VoidKnightsc
Well, the only Karen I know is the hottest local girl I've ever known so she colours the name for me...
FijiFynn
So is it an alpaca or a llama?
matchesthepost
...That's the joke
ThatOneGalFromThatOnePlaceThatYouTotallyKnow
That's a fucking goat.
JimBexleySpeedisaliveandwellontheshoresofFiji
Yes
DukeDarkwood
I wanted this to be the reply to that comment, and it was.
SlaaneshiRightsFront
"He's already hung" this is literally the reason the correct term for this is hanged, not hung.
Iteki
Damn, commented as soon as I read it before I clicked for 85 more. Shoulda trusted the 'gur to be on their toes for that.
Heavymettle
I think penis slang might be a little too recent for it to be the literal reason.
RealRaceRiotsAreAboutGettingBlueshelledInMarioKart
Here I thought it was because the distinction between perfect/imperfect verb tenses. Shows what the fuck i know about the English language.
AdmJota
They're two different (but otherwise identical) words. One refers to just suspending any object; the other is a method of execution.
tawling
Imperfect would be "was hanging." The term we use in English, however, is 'past-progressive' because the verb itself is still present tense.
tawling
Other languages have unique verb forms that reflect imperfect. We use "was" or "were" followed by a present (progressive) verb.
RealRaceRiotsAreAboutGettingBlueshelledInMarioKart
I thought past-progressive would be "was hanging" since progressive uses a gerund.
tawling
That's what I'm saying. English doesn't have an imperfect FORM of verbs. It's the combination of was+gerund that makes past-progressive.
RealRaceRiotsAreAboutGettingBlueshelledInMarioKart
Imperfect is any tense without a defined start or end. Just because our verb doesn't conjugate doesn't mean the tense doesn't apply does it?
AdmJota
Salzella shrugged. 'We've got to do this properly. Did you know Dr Undershaft was strangled before he was hung?' 1/3
AdmJota
'Hanged,' said Bucket, without thinking. 'Men are hanged. It's dead meat that's hung.' 2/3
AdmJota
'Indeed?' said Salzella. 'I appreciate the information. Well, poor old Undershaft was strangled, apparently. And then he was hung.' 3/3
AdmJota
(Terry Pratchett, _Maskerade_.)
EarthTourist
it's literally the reason?
giitsok
Yeah, like so literally.
SlaaneshiRightsFront
Literally. I mean, imagine you're trying to sentence some guy to death right? Now imagine the crowd keeps interrupting you with dick jokes
BhawbTheMagnificent
Then you just sentence extra people to death, ezpz.
SlaaneshiRightsFront
Well you can't just execute everyone; who's supposed to work so that you can eat?
ThatOneGalFromThatOnePlaceThatYouTotallyKnow
You're hung, and you're hung, and you're hung, you're all hung!
secretlibby
Pretty sure that's also why they specify "by the neck".
ZOMGNO
"hung by the neck" or "hanged". Two ways. Never just "hung", as that is wrong
link117318
I dont get it. What are all these hung jokes? What does it mean?
zeiss74
Hung=endowed. Hanged=death by hanging.
ChaoticScholar
Which neck? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
SlaaneshiRightsFront
Well, I mean, executioner isn't a highly skilled job; I suspect that's as much to minimize the number of people hanging by their arm (1/2)
UpsetFace
It was a hightly skilled job before modern medicine, being good with an axe, or choosing the right length/thickness of rope for a hanging
SlaaneshiRightsFront
Or toes as anything else (2/2)
AlmondRoboPanda
Actually #1 was me a few weeks ago. Had an AMAZING time but was convinced I'd be out of place.
Audumbla
I wonder how many people actually know where that image is from
Atharaenea
So I'm guessing you came?
illbeyourfuckleberry
And then a wild clusterfuck appeared?
BadlandZ
Story time. We're waiting!
AlmondRoboPanda
I replied to my comment with the deets!
Applefaces
Give him time to think of something
TheNipplerCrippler
How does one even find an orgy to go to?
TheGayPenguin
Internet
hereforcake
Sex clubs
AlmondRoboPanda
For those interested: a group in SF has started to put on a play party. I'd always wanted to see what one was like, but was really scared
AlmondRoboPanda
I hemmed and hawed for days and then, after the Carley Rae concert, decided "fuck it, I'll go". I went but didn't have cute underwear or
AlmondRoboPanda
I hemmed and hawed for days and then, after the Carley Rae concert, decided "fuck it, I'll go". I went but didn't have cute underwear or
AlmondRoboPanda
My harness. I felt really out of place in my briefs and sneakers while ripped guys wore harnesses and jockstraps.
AlmondRoboPanda
But I ended up having my fill of great in the play space in the back. My "look" was called cute and "so not pretentious" like "the others"
TheGayPenguin
"A" group in SF? I'm pretty sure I can find an orgy in SF within a few hours. :D
AlmondRoboPanda
Depends on what you're into. Party n play orgies happen all the time, but I'm not into meth. If you've got the abs, you can easily find...
AlmondRoboPanda
...one of those once a month circuit parties for the super hot. Then there are club nights like Pound Puppy where things can get interesting
TheGayPenguin
Pound Puppy is my shit. At least I imagine it is. I haven't been yet. I guess I meant more that it's pretty easy to arrange one quickly...
serentious
My wife and I have been talking about it. She recently expressed an interest and I REALLY want to support her in it. Any first time advice?
spaghettifacebang
Dont do it
Jehrman
Yes. Don't take advice from strangers on the Internet.
serentious
Damn. That's a really good point, I'll definitely take that into consideration. Thanks stranger!
Jehrman
...Damnit.
AlmondRoboPanda
To each his own. If it's a straight orgy, be comfortable with the fact that a part of your body will touch a naked man's body at some point
serentious
I'm pretty comfortable with that, really can't see it being an issue. You gotta get wet to swim!
AlmondRoboPanda
Also get comfortable with the fact that she'll get a LOT more play if it's a straight orgy. If it's bi or gay, you'll be the favorite one
serentious
Honestly, I think I would enjoy it the most if she was getting a majority of the attention. should be a win-win.