Aussie dump. Just like a regular dump but it'll probably kill ya

Jun 13, 2016 1:34 AM

Fucking love Carl Barron his stand-up is so good!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Australia is a great example on why unisex prisons are a good idea.

9 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 1

Watching Mad Max:Fury Road was an experience because The People Eater was on fucking All Saints

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Fucking love carl baron. To the passenger. Sir do you want come coffee yeah just a touch. And for you sir(carol). Can I have a feel

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Gotta love Russell Coight lol

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

The fuck is this?

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Missy Higgins, The Sound of White

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

The White Australia Policy.

9 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 237 Dislikes 2

"The shit I do to be famous." Grumpy Cat, probably.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Karl is my hero

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

i cant fucken stand the cunt. such a bloody dickhead

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Kaaal Stephanaicedvovovic

9 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 0

Go to school with his son and all we ever call him is Stephan iced vovos

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

When you see an Aussie dump this big...

9 years ago | Likes 449 Dislikes 2

Kookaburra sitting in the old gum treeee

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The single most Australian thing ever: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oR2OWrOc8xk

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#1 turns out the Norse Gods were just time-traveling Aussies

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Please I need to find this gif

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

It's not far.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

As an Aussie, G'day. Anyone familiar with Pandora from borderlands has experienced Australia on easy.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

As an Aussie - I loved this.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

As a kiwi I loved this.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I want to watch all Aussie adventures now.

9 years ago | Likes 291 Dislikes 2

Yes you do, my friend. Yes you do.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

you really should, i used to watch reruns as a kid on sick days when there wasnt much else on, always made me laugh

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

We had 8 hours to go. And as every hour passed, there was 1 less

9 years ago | Likes 91 Dislikes 0

A salt water croc is not the kind of animal you'd like to meet in a dark alley..

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

I just did some brief searching. Don't know if it's all accurate: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYu4Hn7PLP2x_15uy-3z7f2aEcb2z6vRN

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Time to hit the road.

9 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 0

I most enjoy when that line is dropped after something embarrassing/unfortunate. Which seems to be its only real use, I suppose.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Follow it up with David mcgahans world, trust me

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

uproot for russel coight

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I've been living in Australia the last 4 months and these are the truest thing I've ever read. Hilariously accurate

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

What? No Emperor Nasi Goreng?!?

9 years ago | Likes 71 Dislikes 0

As a Malaysian, WHAT IS THIS?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

No Rhonda and Ketut?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Not even a Gaytime

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Hard to have a gaytime on your own

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You're doin it wrong then...

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He built the great wall of china to keep the rabbits out

9 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 0

Too many rabbits, uh, in China.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

The warehouse is a nz thing. They have target in straya. Fyi.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

There was a Warehouse, then it became Sam's Warehouse. Now we just have Overflow and The Reject Shop.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So it wasnt THE warehouse though like in NZ?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hmm, I think it was THE warehouse, big red building, kind of like a giant Silly Sollys.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My local shops is called 'shoppo'

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Did you know that food had the fuck in it? Dad use to say carol you've burnt the fuck out of it.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

STRAYA CUNTS!

9 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 2

What's playschool?

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

A kids TV show

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Playschool is so much a part of Australian childhood that I cried at the 50th birthday video it put out this year

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

My childhood

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Mr Rogers meets Sesame Street.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

interesting

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Right now I'm in the front of dads Holden on the way to the local woolies to grab some grub for the barbie

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

and make a quick duck into the bottle-o so the old man could buy some piss, and I must say this dump was bloody brilliant. Spot on champ.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#15 is kiwi

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Yep haha I saw the red shed in there too

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ware whare is absolutely kiwi

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Where everyone gets a bargain

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

As an Aussie I've built up a tolerance. So the worst it'll do to me is make me shit drop bear memes.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Not happy Jan.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Please explain.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

No..."please explain" was a phrase frequently used by Pauline Hanson. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4tZRZSGxcE

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Eyes on the Road Rhonda - Aussie proverb

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

30% of australians are casual racists, The other 70% are full time racists.

9 years ago | Likes 83 Dislikes 11

Disagree

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

you have to go back

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I was going to say it's racist to call a whole race racist. But I know your a foreigner and therefore fucking wrong.

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

But Australian isn't a race.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

shove a lambington up ya

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

The job market on full time racism has gotten pretty bad. Most people can only fin casual racist ones. Better pay but no job security.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Bloody boat-people taken our racism.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Damn foreigners taking jobs

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Bloody boat people.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The other day I got a call from a customer from Australia. I couldn't understand a word he said. I am sorry, Australian Man.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Haha when I went to America that happened, I had to speak slowly otherwise no one understood me, they'd just look at me all confused

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That might be why we like the fakey accents from TV and movies. We have a hard time understanding the real deal.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Haha you're probably right, I didn't realize how quickly we spoke until going there :p

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ahh right the cringey cockney-cross-south african lol

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

When killing most carbon based life forms, fire is effective. Not Aussie's though. We don't even have an ozone. Cold is our only weakness.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

My friend is over there 1.5 years, she says it's 12 degrees and she can't cope. We're Irish. That's like summer here!

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

15 degrees at night and I'm staying in, no matter what. I'm on the Gold Coast so we don't deal well with weather extremes.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Doesn't take more than a couple months of 30+ degrees every day before whats normal shifts up. Either that or you evaporate.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I didn't know All Aussie Adventures was a thing, being American, but it looks bloody brilliant.

9 years ago | Likes 73 Dislikes 2

Are you sure you're American? Because "bloody brilliant" sounds way too British.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'm sending the DVDs of the show to my American friends!

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

How can I get a copy? (I'm in the barren wasteland called Canada though...)

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Jbhifi.com.au ship worldwide I believe. Or just eBay. Well worth the money, but make sure you can play PAL format DVDs!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Did you say bloody out of habit or on purpose? Are you really American?

9 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

As an American:I worked odd hours, so on my days off I would end up playing Eve Online with the Aussies.My use of "Bloody" increased by 500%

9 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

haha That's awesome.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Fair dinkum?

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Yep

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Streuth.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Or you know, that's the Scandinavian god side of Thor coming out.

9 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 10

yeah, and when they grow up they can come to Australia to party

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 7

no cause he's Australian .... that's the point

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 9

Everyone knows only Australians get drunk and fight.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well y'all are useless with guns because you had machineguns and lost a war against emus.

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 4

Protip: You can just go #11 :)

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I was too lazy to count them.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This is one of my fave stories of Australian history

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Uhh, if you'd seen a pissed off emu you'd understand.

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Y'all motherfuckers think Velociraptors in JP are bad, haven't seen a pissed off Emu coming at you.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

What's Goon?

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Papsak

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's boxed wine but you take out the silver bladder and drink from that or its just really cheal alcohol.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Short for "Flagon", wine in particular, cheap, but gets the job done. Now usually a cardboard cask, but still a "goon".

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yeah my Dad used to buy flagons (large 2L glass bottles) of Burgundy so dry you could have used it as paint stripper lol

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Damn, thanks for all the replies. Guess I'm going to have to get on that Goon juice this weekend.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not much. What's goon with you?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

it's what gets you through uni

9 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

This is the most correct answer

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

The best worst time of your life

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

An actual Australian might have to correct me, but I think it's boxed wine. Goon bags

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Ohhh.... childhood memories of inhaling the fruity lexia gas from mum's discarded goon bag

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Lols spot on!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

4l of 10% for $10 and it doubles for a pillow when you die

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

We furnished our share house in the 80s with cask pillows...was $3/box back then lol

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As an Aussie, can confirm. Have died many times on goon.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'm going to Australia in December. I wonder how true these are

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Pretty true actually. Except how bogan that Steve Erwin wannabe is. He's playin that up

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They're all true, except that a tourist probably wouldn't notice, you'd have to live here (except the last one, you'll hear that)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Where in Australia are you going? It is summer in December, but certain parts are hotter than others

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I have not thought that far ahead

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

you'll be singing Christmas carols about snow in extreme heat

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

CRASHING THROUGH THE BUSH, IN A RUSTY HOLDEN UTE, KICKING UP THE DUST, CHRISTMAS TIME IS BEAUT

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

DECEMBER?! Oh honey, you're gonna fry!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'll take it over Chicago winter

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wear fucking sunscreen! And a hat lol

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm black. I don't need sunscreen

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well that'll be cheaper lol

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0