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I was 18 and coming home from a 7 day work week. My Girlfriend texted me she was horny and couldn't wait for me to get back.
Of course, I was excited as well.
When I got there we started to get frisky. Then she asked if I would be down for an Open Relationship with her Ex Boyfriend.
I got up and said 'Nice knowing you"
Some time later I met the greatest girl and she is the cutest thing ever. Except when she beats me in video games.
DasBeaker
As someone who went threw this as well.. But was cheated on before was asked.. GOOD FOR YOU! Honestly OP hi5 this bitch!
G11marksman
Good on you, mate!
marionic
TL;DR
Ralpheroo
Where was the "See ya never"?!
TheManWhoKnewTooLittle
You made a good choice http://i2.bebo.com/031/6/large/2007/10/08/04/2209424424a5762998752l.jpg
Skrewd
I'll file this under, "things we all wish happened in real life."
cplchuck
+1 for being 18 and having a 7 day work week. You go, man!
a3sir
She was fucking him the whole time she was with you, I guarantee it.
Superkroot
Yoshiru
That's usually her way of easing you into the conversation about how she "accidentally" cheated on you while drunk last week
valanthos
I'm happy for you, you filthy casual.
thri11er
obligatorylennyface
May be reading in too deep but "couldn't wait for me to get back"... potentially cheated with ex-boyfriend, asking you indirectly if okay.
tooomanysteves
Agreed, that is also possible. I guess we will never know.
WaitSoMyUsernameCanBeAnything
Excellent choice OP
RelevantFact
O...k then
HeyFreckleFace
http://imgur.com/pKLIFpZ
howdoesoneusername
How the fuck did this get 1.5k points?
strongfkennedy
Bacon
thingssomeonesays
The gays
idiotn00b
You underestimate my impatience
SuchCommentMuchUpvote
I like this story.
barberst
This was really really dumb.
beNNub
Good move
BarefootLego
Am I the only one who thinks nobody did anything wrong in this story?
MusculusSternocleidomastoideus
No and in the top comments you'll see a lot of people think the same we do ;)
CosmicCat8
No. This 'how dare people not prescribe to my narrow view of romantic paradigms' mentality is highly perplexing to me.
CosmicCat8
but I've always felt the expectation that you're supposed to aggressively control the sex life of someone that you 'love' to be creepy.
mechanimated
I'm more irked by the 5000 "She was probably cheating the whole time!" comments. Really? PROBABLY? Because there's SO much evidence to that.
imgursur
+1 for actually not being "TL". Tired of post with a book's worth of story line, with reaction gifs
justchasinglight
No cheating girlfriend, asking for permission, walking away after not agreeing, this story was very polite.
JuicyRhino
Canadian drama, most likely.
abbadonsin
As someone whose in an open relationship I don't get with people who aren't specifically into them. Open does not mean "no rules", either.
abbadonsin
Also good on you. You have to have boundaries, and make them clear. It's not for everyone, and that's okay.
beeratius
I guess that's a lot better in the long run than asking someone about it mid-relationship
abbadonsin
Definitely a lot better. Me and my wifey call it ethical non-monogomy when we wanna sound fancy :p
officialtacobell
I don't know how you do it! I'm super selfish so I couldn't share my girl with anyone else.
Deviouz1
once you understand that your gf/bf isnt YOURS, which would mean she/he were your PROPERTY, it becomes easier. and typically reciprocated ;)
officialtacobell
Still couldn't do that haha!
abbadonsin
And that's okay. So many poly people will try to claim that poly is the only way. My opinion is be happy, be comfortable, don't hurt others.
lalaarawr
some of us cant handle the emotional responsibility of more than one person :3
abbadonsin
Lol. I can totally understand the sentiment there.
Kompo85
Now if she'd said ex-girlfriend....
lalaarawr
open relationships dont necessarily mean ur going to be invited or even allowed to peak
OrionRed
*peek*
thisisanon
Been there, done that, and still not proud of it. Messes with your sense of trust.
FailToImpress
Never been there, never done that.... Cries uncontrollably
MoobHunter
i know what you mean, horrible feeling, no matter how good it gets after that, its never the same
Spice00002
Because you get paranoid of every person instead of just men, right?
thisisanon
Kinda, but some other "stuff" (insert lies and similar things) happened between us and I didn't realize till it was too late.
HelloDarknessMyOldFriend
This attitude always bugs me because it's completely making the two girls sex objects w/o regard to their emotional connection w each other
OddlyCantEven
I'd let the two girls objectify me.
OrionRed
Only during sex...which is ok.
baronridiculous
There are all kinds of threesomes, from shallow and objectifying to deep and meaningful. No particular configuration has a lock on feelings.
HelloDarknessMyOldFriend
It's not the threesome that bothers me - it's the disregard to them possibly having feelings for each other-their love isn't valid, just hot
UH60Mechanic
Cheating is cheating. You either share or you do not.
Protean2648
Cheating means to break the rules. If your rules say it's okay to screw girls but not boys then it's not cheating.
rawrfrawrf
Sharing != cheating though. "Cheating" implies some form of deception or play outside of established (or understood) rules.
NotTimon
Gar4KDZ
saved
themussa
perfect!
DieterVonCunth
Perfect gif usage, my friend
DrHubbaBubba
Eheheehhheehehhe +1
Direhaggis
+1 for just walking away.
JimmyThing
He fucking should have. Good job bro.
vanorangejuice
Also a +1 for 'cutest thing ever'. I awwww'd :)
Kaylin
cool guys don't look at explosions.
Direhaggis
Hahaha, or train wrecks.
orangemarmaladesky
http://imgur.com/qAQHR7r
Direhaggis
Ahhh, Coupling, excellent choice.
Sheibeo4
100pts for walking away her Ex and most probably your now Ex gf has STD
Direhaggis
Yeah. Showed integrity and common sense.
AlduinWorldEater
Should have punched that bitch in the face first. After he nutted on her belly. Ya know, gotta pull out...can't have babies w/that whore
CaptainGayBoner
Direhaggis
Exactly.
cantspellmanslaughterwithoutlaughter
Open relationship at age 18? That means she was open before. Wow, utes man...
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
Hah, I get it.
BangForTheBuck
Utes these days.... http://media.apnarm.net.au/img/media/images/2009/03/12/lime_ute_465x288_120309_t460.jpg
TimTamFlimFlam
I'm sorry... These two hwat?
Direhaggis
I did not catch that. That adds a special layer of kthxbi.
BANANAFLAKE
What does this mean? I go to the University of Utah. We are Utes, does Utes mean something?!
WillDropPantsForFood
I'll give both my nuts if that's how it really happened.
Direhaggis
I'm hopeful it did. God knows I made ridiculous dating decision in the past.
bananajoesg
^ this, I doubt he really still loved her if it was that easy. That or drama.
PolarHailStorm
I'm more impressed by an 18 year old male listening to logic over emotion. Must be a confident motherfucker!
bananajoesg
True, very true!
ttspenstar
Gotta love when the top comment has no replies because it's that good
Direhaggis
Wow, fuck, downvote fairies were vicious.
rubbarz
You're that guy.
IcathianSurprise
*had
DrTacticalKeyboard
Dlinkinhoker
You fucked it up
InsertCleverNickname
So, would this "open relationship" have applied to you as well, or just to her and her ex?
Murdercorpse
Both on them on paper, only her if he actually found someone.
sicsided
If it didn't, it would just be a cuckold or hotwife relationship.
lawrus
"hot wife" is the name of a sub-reddit, it doesn't have any other meaning.
sicsided
Oh yes it does. Google and educate yourself.
bravelittletoaster
Yes it does...
craz3d
Open relationship = I just wanna whore around.
PrettyKawaiiForAWhiteGuy
Hurray broad, baseless generalizations!
craz3d
generalization? yes. baseless? no.
ohnoanotherputz
Maybe she wanted him to fuck her ex?
TheFlyingSheep
Probably just her. Open relationships take work doing so when she's "horny" and mid frisk is a red flag
Cheesecakecrush
Usually a "my ex is better than you in bed" red flag
TheGirlWhoCouldntEven
I think the idea was it she was trying to turn him on and get him in the mood so hed say yes. Tons of girls I knew did that to get something
TheGirlWhoCouldntEven
But it's still wrong. And OP was right to just leave.In a loving relationship, you should just want each other.
Ivaer
I've known people who love each other just as much and have open relationships with one other person. It's not for everyone, but having (1)
Ivaer
an open relationship does not automatically mean you don't love them. Takes maturity, honesty, and a lot of trust.
TheFlyingSheep
Was trying to imply that :P using sex as a means to an end is a red flag, or should be for either gender
Protean2648
The act of using sex as a weapon is a sign of psychopathy in women.
LoneliestGoon
I could never be in an open relationship, I'm greedy and don't share well.
UsernameBeWeird
I wish I had more than an upvote to give you.
ourmrswashburne
I was in one once where we didn't have ancillary partners, but rather we shared other partners together on occasion. It was fun.
unapologetic05
Honesty and truth to self above all else.
lovsindarie
"I'm Greedy" yup yup 100% me too.
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
I agree with you. I would probably be angry and jealous all the time.
sowaitwhatdidyousaytome
Only child here, I don't share anything at all. Its mine, all mine. My precious....
worstkind
Not even giving half your candy on Valentine's Day to your friend who didn't get anything?
sowaitwhatdidyousaytome
no.
worstkind
Man, after 11 months I finally got a reply; I have been waiting forever
babiibug
I'm the baby of four. IT'S ALL MINE AND MOM SAYS I DONT HAVE TO SHARE!
[deleted]
[deleted]
imaginationhandicap
It doesn't have to be about sex. Sometimes people think it'll make each other happy. Huge effort to maintain/coordinate though.
venenation
To them, sex has nothing to do with love, it's a casual thing. Same as hugging someone or giving a back rub, apparently. I don't get it.
Deviouz1
(+) or love for that matter
Deviouz1
well that's rather judgmental of you... and who the fuck are you to presume that you know how i feel about sex?
SomethingReallyAmusing
Polyperson here. My Primary relationship is more serious than my Secondary ones. Sex is not THAT important in my Secondaries. But I <3 (1/2)
SomethingReallyAmusing
as more than friends all the same. I get different things from each of them. Prime example: my Primary is not into BDSM. I am My 2nd-aries >
SomethingReallyAmusing
fill that want. It's like relationship multivitamin creating a well balanced diet of emotional support. (fin)
Deviouz1
once you understand that your gf/bf isnt YOURS, which would mean she/he were your PROPERTY, it becomes easier. and typically reciprocated ;)
drorgin
Nah, I have no need for another human and wouldn't like it if he did. Better to find somebody compatible in that area.
Deviouz1
obviously. i'm not saying its "ok to cheat" i'm saying that if two adults agree to share themselves there's nothing wrong with it.
MusculusSternocleidomastoideus
Nothing to do with understanding. He isn't mine, but when he goes having sex with another, I'll dump himp
Deviouz1
i never said anything about cheating. there is a difference.
MusculusSternocleidomastoideus
If he wants to have sex with another person and asks me I'll probably consider dumping him too
underratedbutterfly
He straight up is mine.
Deviouz1
then you have some serious issues to cope with.
underratedbutterfly
No I love my relationship. There's nothing wrong with wanting a monogamous one.
Deviouz1
no there isnt, but there is something wrong with treating your partner like property.
shadowlev
Hey, she asked so she's not a bitch. There's a growing amount of people who do the open relationship thing.
StillAtMyMoms
Gross. I'd like to increase my chances for contracting herpes, said no one ever.
Youkaidark
IDK why someone downvoted you but herse an upvote.
SergeantCheeseburger
The timing of the asking kind of stuck out to me....doesn't necessarily mean anything, but seems a bit suspect.
HeyCasButt
I think its that she specifically asked for it so that she could have sex with her ex
TheBlackWindHowls
Nah, she was clearly asking if OP was the one who'd be interested in a relationship with the ex-BF. She just wants to watch.
Horus175
Many times "open relationship" is code for "I fucked my ex and I don't want to seem like the horrible person I am so give me permission."
soso456
The fact she asked doesn't mean she didn't do it before.
soso456
But that's not the problem, first thing your horny Gf says to you after a week is that she want to have sex with her ex bf. WRONG
SuchCommentMuchUpvote
Seems like a lot of the time it's one person that wants it and the other just agrees to it because they don't want to lose the other person.
captainhowel
Or maybe, just maybe, they're open to the idea and understanding of their S.O.
veronicamarsdestroyerofworlds
I mean, that's unfortunate but if someone asks you a direct question, it's your own fault if you choose to lie
Evergrey
That's why you let them know you are poly before you start dating.
SuchCommentMuchUpvote
This is just my observation of friends both male and female that have been in open relationships, not a condemnation of the idea.
frankwalkerfromnationaltiiiiiiiiiiles
Lying & saying you're up for it is never a good sign. But, if you're asking, you probably already know what the answer is be.
LordWok
ups and downs of an open relationship can be tough. if your just fucking someone its NBD but if you have feelings for them it prob wont work
ourmrswashburne
Tell that to my happily married couple friends who also have boyfriends/girlfriends.
LordWok
you know the meaning of the word probably?... different stroke for different folks also. but long term its a bit of a minefield..
nelshai
I generally ask at the start of a relationship. If they say nope then I leave. So I guess you make a point?
vegio
How does it work, exactly? You have more than one gf/bf?
nelshai
(2) I imagine it's different for different people but that's how I've worked it. :p
nelshai
In my experience it's more just that you're allowing your partner to have sex with others. Or invite some to threesomes. That sorta thing.
Flyndaran
I could never be with someone other than my life-mate, but I have no jealously issue for her.
vegio
dang, to think that there are people who can't even get one partner! And there's you guys having fun all around... bravo, that's the spirit.
thelonepig
Well that's commendable that she didn't just cheat on you. Open relationships can be legit, but saying no is cool too.
thelonepig
If I wanted sex on the side, I would pick someone I already knew was good at it, like an ex. But I wouldn't cheat.
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
Yep. Plus (by the sound of it) it was swift and relatively drama free.
thelonepig
Yes, I'm assuming the female requested exactly what she wanted, and meant exactly what she said, and wasn't shady at all. Some females (1/2)
thelonepig
are capable of not playing games. Maybe her bf wasn't good at sex and she knew her ex could meet that one need.
justnugthings
I took it to mean that she already cheated on him and was now asking permission to make herself feel better about it.
YoureSoColdButYouFeelAlive
Funny. I'm in an open relationship. Hardest time getting laid ever. Most women think I'm lying.
NowThatsWhatICallACoincidenceVol1
You're assuming she wasn't cheating already and just wanted to make things more legit to ease her hassle.
ChairBluePen
I hadan open relationship once. Had.
blaergh
I had a monogamous relationship once. Had.
InsertCleverNickname
She probably already fucked the other guy by the time she asked this.
IceCreamButtholes
Just springing that you want an open relationship on someone is pretty shitty. Talk that shit out ahead of time, yo.
sicsided
It sounds like OP's ex was just about to do that.
IceCreamButtholes
Right as they start having sex? No, she wasn't.
sicsided
There is really never a perfect time to ask it. Sometimes during sex to initially bring it up, and then talking about it after is best.
MardukRising
No. There is never a 'perfect time' for it. But just as sex starts? Fuck no. That is never best, don't fucking kid yourself.
johncandy12
Seriously, using so to lure in is shitty too.
johncandy12
Sex*
ArcaneM37
How exactly do you talk about something without mentioning it?
IceCreamButtholes
Well you don't do it in the middle of sex, that's for sure.
ItsGoTime
I think the point was discuss open relationship, before being in one.
ArcaneM37
But she did. She asked him about it. How else do you discuss it?
mechanimated
But...they weren't in one. She was bringing it up to discuss it. Unless you intend to just go "So how bout them open relationships huh?"
thescarydude
It's a pretty intimate question. Why are you gonna ask someone you don't know that well? They might tell other people about it.
thescarydude
Oh, I thought she wanted to hook him up with her ex boyfriend. That's the point I would walk away at.
Spune
That's the point I'd be most excited at, but to each their own.
AustinTOth
If you don't want a relationship don't be in one. Open is not healthy
TheDeceptiveBanana
Don't worry AustinTOth, I agree with you <3
EveryChickenInThisPlace
I could never do it.
baronridiculous
Try not being so small-minded, ok? Your gut feelings are not laws of nature.
jpparkenbone
I take issue with the fact that he immediately dumps her for even asking. If he said no, she may very well have respected that.
TheDeceptiveBanana
I dunno, if my bf asked if we could sleep with other people I'd be pretty upset that he even wanted that.
lonelylinguist
If you’re fulfilled by 1 person, good, but most folks aren’t, so they cheat. I’d prefer stability w/ n people to instability with 1.
MsGrowl
They both have a choice. Perhaps he wanted someone with the same desire for monogamy that he has.
CosmicCat8
You have to love imgur for condemning someone for doing nothing wrong and presuming she cheated. Monogamy doesn't have to be for everyone.
mechanimated
I knew when I scrolled down: Cue 600 "She probably cheated" comments. Probably. So much evidence to that, right? CLEARLY a cheating whore.
jpparkenbone
Exactly my point. Just because she wants it doesn't mean she wouldn't have respected OP's wishes if he said no.
OnyZ
My experiences makes me doubt that. It's really unlikely she wasn't already cheating, and asked to make herself feel better about it.
BDSMBlooddoll
It's confusing that it's open with her ex, though.
thelonepig
Makes perfect sense to me. I met a cool guy who was sleeping w/his ex and making it perfectly clear it was JUST SEX. We started dating. 1/2
thelonepig
When him and I got serious and he started referring to me as his gf, I told him he was going to have to stop banging another girl. He did.
2222222222
Not really. Been there. Done that. It worked out.
bmullecker
Just don't do it, how about that?
2222222222
How about you get over your suburban 1945 version of what a relationship SHOULD be?
BDSMBlooddoll
I find it confusing. Like, are you dating him in being open? Just boning? Rules differ between relationships..
2222222222
That's the fun part, they don't have to be defined like they used to be. The whole one-on-one concept is no longer the default.
BDSMBlooddoll
One-on-one isn't the confusing thing. It's the 'ex' thing.
demonato
It all depends on what you talk about. Like, when I had my two gfs, all three of us were openly seen as dating.
demonato
Each other. I often stood in the middle and held both of their hands in public.
baronridiculous
What's confusing about it?
BDSMBlooddoll
It's her ex. Open relationships tend to be open.. relationships.. like dating..
baronridiculous
I dunno. I'm still not confused. Seems pretty straightforward.
BDSMBlooddoll
Explain it then?
gewalt
she probably was already cheating on him
LauKatze
True, but if it's when she sees some dude (not a specific dude), and you cool. It's cool
Spune
Why fucking ask if that's the case? Sounds more like she was trying to deal with having feelings for two people in a mature, responsible way
johncandy12
Not really. Luring him in with sex is immature, so it's not a stretch she's been immature in other ways. Prob didn't want guilt
Spune
We don't really know the full story here, it's totally possible that she both wanted sex and to discuss the possibility of sex with others.
johncandy12
Ok...based on what he said, that's almost 100% what she was doing.. It's immature regardless.
PurpleFilth22
"You have a very suspicious mind. In my experience only dishonest people think this way."
BarryGeibel
It was her ex, that makes it more scummy. But really who knows?
eggmuffin
*People experienced with dishonesty
IcathianSurprise
There is no way you know that, you presumptuous whore
johncandy12
Jesus. Do you react like that to people irl? Yeah, gewalt could be wrong, but even stated it was just probable.
IcathianSurprise
Pretty much, but I'm so non-threatening and disarmingly funny and charming in real life that it whizzes by without question :)
johncandy12
Quite the opposite as appeared. We are still all people here.
lllthssm
As someone whose asked for an open relationship (and never cheated) if you're going to ask you likely haven't cheated because then why ask?
mouschi
To make yourself feel better about cheating? (not saying I agree with original statement but there are legit reasons.
thelonepig
I don't think it's cheating if everyone's aware of what's going on.
mouschi
But this is in reference to asking AFTER you slept with the person while dating the new guy.
bluefacepaint
Because you want permission to keep doing the thing.
lllthssm
someone who never asked for permission in the first place probably isn't going to have a moral epiphany and ask later...
LavaAxe
In human interaction it is possible to do something you regret later and try to fix.
bluefacepaint
Unless one of their friends was all like "Seriously, tell your boyfriend by XXXX date or I will. You're a heinous bitch."
IcathianSurprise
How did asking for one work out?
getawesome
I did this; agreed we wanted each other forever but had to get a few bangs out of the way. Did it, now we're married and monogamous.
lllthssm
It was pretty brutal but ultimately kept us from likely breaking up. We started dating when I was very young/inexperienced
lllthssm
we were also in a LDR at the time though and as soon as I moved to where he lived he said it had to end (ahead of time)
IcathianSurprise
was this because of college? was it easy to give it up? did you find you were more sexually compatible with someone else?
TheGirlWhoCouldntEven
Are you still together? Fuck I couldn't stand the thought of someone else with my bf