[OP Delivers]; Living with multiple personalities (real) Storytimes 

Hello again imgur. 4 months ago i made a story time post about living with dissociative identity disorder that was awarded "best post of the day". i got mixed feedback but ultimately imgur helped me learn alot about myself. made a few more posts, some made it to the fp and some didn't. Then alot of things happened in my life causing me to drop off of imgur for awhile. Since coming back i've stuck to your average shitposting but i haven't made a DID update. So instead i'm opting the a mega post. I've taken all the previous posts and gathered them here. Instead of changing anything, i'm going to add edit's when i come across something that i've learned more about since the original post. At the end i will give everybody an update one where I am at right now in my life and what my plans are.
This is going to be a large post with alot of reading so instead of a TL;DR i'm going to try to helps you guys out a bit.

Pics 2 - 16 original post
Pics 17 - 19 aftermath post
Pic 20 frustration post
Pics 21 - 31 George takei post
pic 32 being sent away post
pic 33 Last minute reprieve post
pics 34 - 39 Whats been happening postpic 40 A message to @sarah

Throughout all of this, many of you have told me to write a book. I've started doing just that. Its a fantasy novel built around the rules and experiences i've learned living with DID. At the very end of this post I will leave a link to the first 8 pages of "Simon and the Urn of Knowledge".

I still haven't seen "Split" and don't intend to.

[MP Edit]: <--will be placed whenever notations are made on previous post content. MP stands for MegaPost.

Because I know this post is a HUGE wall of text.. I want to make sure people don't miss my link for the book i'm trying to write. So i'm moving the link up here https://imgur.com/gallery/hncA6

My goal with this post is to put all of this in one place and hopefully get some support for my book. So please.. share this any place you can. facebook, tumblr, twitter, myspace even. I'm counting on you guys to help me reach out to others.

What caused me to develop MPD/DID?
I will answer this question right before we delve into the darker stories. MPD/DID is usually cause by a severely traumatic event/s some time before the age of 7-9 (the age when you are no longer susceptible to developing did is still being debated).

What is a "switch" its the moment an alternate personality (a.k.a alter) takes over and i loose all track of time.
What causes a switch?
Many things can trigger a switch. Anything from a song or smell but usually its caused by large amounts of stress (for me anyways)

Do i know whats going on when i switch?
No. with the exception of one time its usually like flicking a light switch of snapping your fingers. one moment i'm living my life then in the blink of an eye it could be 5 hours later.

What is the longest switch that has happened?
17 years. i'm the primary personality but not the original. I have been in control for most of our life. But occasionally the others wrestle control from my hands.

Can others tell when i've switched (or i'm about to)?
Yes. when i'm about to switch i develop an uncontrollable tick in my jaw (sometimes a strong tick that looks like a seizure. usually happens because i'm fighting back). As for after.. YES! apparently each alter talks, walks, writes, eats and fucks different (yes.. i just said that)

Is it painful to switch?
from time to time. it can be violent (for me)

How many "Alters" Do i have?
4 but it used to be 6. i have (with professional help) managed to integrate 2 alters (making me more "whole")

[MP Edit]: Integration doesn't happen over night. it takes a lot of therapy and may not ever actually happen.

Can i "Hear" my alters? For the longest time.. No. But about 3 years ago i began hearing Fynn in my head (you will learn about him soon enough). i thought i was schizophrenic but after some testing we found out i wasn't. As for the others.. i don't want to hear them.

I know there are more questions, but for now..

its storytime

The start of the blank spots.

one of the first times i developed a blank spot (switch) i lost 4 hours. Thankfully it happened at home around my (now) ex-wife. she was only my gf at the time though. I was standing in the kitchen making some soup when i was suddenly standing in the backyard with my gf looking at me very strangely. all i could say was "what the fuck just happened?". I didn't understand what was going on and my gf wouldn't tell me anything. i didn't find out that my first alter had shown up until one month later when she finally broke down and said i turned into a very intelligent child before her eyes who called himself Fynn (my favorite alter if there is such a thing). I spoke with a lisp and knew things about my childhood that i normally couldn't remember. it was then that i began seeking professional help.

Now anybody trained in psychology will agree that those claiming to have MPD/DID are either faking it or to much of a risk to treat (it could ruin their career). So finding help was hard. Very hard.

[MP Edit]: if you think you have DID or something like it but can't find proper help, check with local colleges that have psychology/psychiatry classes. They may be able to point you in the right direction.

I just remember those days as being very taxing and frightening. It's not easy having doctors think you are lying.

The Day The Doctors Believed

I don't remember the date but i will never forget the moment i was finally able to get help. D.I.D was starting to take its toll on me. i had a nervous break down. i was brought to the hospital and they were told about my issue. Of course they scoffed. But it didn't last long. The had taken me into triage so they could get my vitals. everything was through the roof. They were worried i was going to have a heart attack or something. It was at that moment that i switched (in front of EVERYBODY). Just like a light switch.. My vital returned to normal and i was sitting calmly while looking at everybody. My gf at the time knew what was up and said "FYNN!! Let him back out NOW! in moments my vitals were back to critical levels. I didn't know any time had passed. But the look of shock on the face of everybody in the room said enough.

Needless to say.. I began receiving the help i needed.

Most of this was told to me by the doctors and my gf. i didn't truly get to witness it.

The Time Fynn Saved My Family

This story happen 7 years ago. i know this because my son is 7 years old. At this point my wife was now my ex and i was happily with somebody who cared about me and understood what living with D.I.D meant. We were about to have a baby and i was also going back to school to get my G.E.D. i was running on very little sleep. When my son was born i had everything set. I had just moved back to my home state and was staying with my aunt.
Crib.. check
diapers.. check
nursery.. check
All the things.. CHECK!!
Son enters the world.. check.
Then things went bad. i came back to the hospital after school exhausted and barely able to hold my head up. I entered the room and my gf was crying in her bed and my son was nowhere to be seen. I panicked. It was then that a child services worker came in to give me bad news. Apparently my gf's ex-husband (a monstrous piece of shit who is currently in jail for molesting a bunch of children) had managed to use his connections to add red flags to my gf's file. They were going to take my son away from me. I fought it. fought it hard right then and there. in the end they gave me 10 hours to produce a child friendly environment at some place other than my aunts house. My only option was my hoarder grandmother.
I got to the house only to find that the room i could use was piled to the ceiling with crap. I broke down. Then the singularly most wonderful thing about having MPD/DID happened to me..
I switched..
Fynn (that wonderful bastard) stepped up and took over. In 8 hours he managed to clean the entire room. He not only cleaned it.. He fucking set it up. It was perfect. And for me it all happened in the blink of an eye. It was like magic.
To this day my (now) fiance still worships the ground he walks on (and so do i).

This is why i will always be happy to hear fynn.

April Fools D.I.D Style

This is less of a story and more of a statement..
You think getting pranked on April 1st sucks? Try having multiple people in your head taking turns setting up traps for you. Most of them were harmless but i really didn't care for finding thumb tacks in my bed.

The Ultimate Goal

Anybody who truly suffers from MPD/DID has one goal in mind..
Integration. we want to turn all the people in ours heads back into ONE person!. I have managed to integrate 2 so far. On one occasion when integration occurred, my crippling fear of spiders disappeared.
Really went away. At one point i would scream and run if a spider came within 5 feet of me. Now i Play with them. They are cute.

Its just one of those things that makes me stop and think "wow" the human brain can do some cool/weird shit.

[MP Edit] Integration is not easy to notice. phobia correction is a strong indicator but usually it takes many things including exposure therapy to slowly correct. I would also like to add that self treatment is dangerous and not recommended. it can in truth make treating the disorder harder in the future.

The Day Fynn Made Me Watch

Don't get ahead of yourself. Let me tell the story before you judge the title.

Now from time to time i've learned that my alters all seem to hold a fragment of the original person. i'm calm casual and creative (i'm a blacksmith and prop maker). Fynn hold the memories (childhood and stuff like that) plus he is the only one that can speak to the others. Then we has asshole (the original). He holds on to obscene amounts of anger and resentment.

So fast forward to 10 months ago. Stress was beginning to build again but not in a serious way. just enough to annoy fynn. I hadn't been eating much (which is fynn's biggest peeve) so it was time for me to learn about another trick fynn was hiding up his sleeve..

he could make me.. watch.

Talk about fucked up.. imagine only being able to look through the eyes of another person without having control over what they do or say.. it could have been worse than it was. instead of something horrible happening.. Fynn forced me to watch as he order FIVE 20 piece nuggets McDonalds and ate 4 of the boxes. i threw up soooo bad and had the shits for a week.

Fynn.. I love you.. but fuck you for that one!

because people have asked.. Yes.. I occasionally find letter from fynn. but its usually when i'm down and hes trying to make me smile. my favorite one was when fynn wanted to let me know that he fed the baby and changed his diaper so i could rest (yeah.. thats a bit weird)

The First Appearance of The Asshole

Not all alters are nice. But this was the first time the original had made an appearance since this all started so it was rather tame. i was talking to my fiance when i noticed she was getting more and more upset but i wasn't doing anything. it all ended in a massive blow up. Later on when we were ready to talk again I started hearing about things i said that i didn't remember saying. it wasn't until fynn's next appearance that we found out asshole was switching in for small moments and adding his own comments to our conversation. Fynn was upset as well.

WARNING!! Things are about to get bad people. This is your chance to stop reading because things are about to get graphic (stories not pics). Starting with how i got MPD/DID.

mine was worked on most of my childhood. but the fracturing event came in my late teens. I had made some bad choices and gotten into some hardcore drugs. over time i ended up owing money to a fairly large drug dealer (something you don't want to do). I was grabbed off the street and held captive in a motel while they reenacted the chainsaw scene from the movie blow. Yes.. a person who owed a lot more money than i, was taught a permanent lesson. watching somebody dismembered has a way of destroying a person mentally. i was then dropped on the side of the highway a couple states away from home with nothing but a pair of pants. This is my first memory. Not knowing my name wandering around the streets. i had a cellphone but didn't know how to use it. The original had checked out (for good it had seemed). It was now my job to live this life.

[MP Edit]: It was the movie scarface and i'm 100% sure this didn't happen and didn't cause my DID. I have called police departments, looked at news papers. Its still one of my first memories but i reject it as false. DID is caused at a young age (7-9 or younger. the age is still being debated by professionals) from severe/prolonged trauma. I still don't know what happened to me as a child but my family has been helping me sift through my past.

i started getting comfortable with switching (for the most part) but then the asshole decided to come back out after a very long hiatus. But he was different. bitter, angry, vengeful, potentially violent. I didn't/don't trust him. He stayed out for 3 days. 3 days of nightmare for my fiance. all he wanted to do was get high or hurt me. he resented that it wasn't his life anymore and he had a response. But i didn't find out until i regained control. it was then i felt pain in bad places.

apparently he had decided that if he couldn't live "his" life then he was going to make mine as miserable as possible. he started with a razor blade and began carving EVERYTHING. I had officially stepped out of the world of strange ind into the world of terror. I had somebody in my head that i couldn't get rid of that was dead set on inflicting as much pain on our body as possible. thankfully there was no lasting damage with my bits but my torso will be forever covered in scars.

[MP Edit]: He still carves me up from time to time but thankfully he leaves my "bits" alone.

Asshole fucking hated me. truly hated me. the carving sessions started becoming a regular event. i had to do something about it. in come the doctors and the meds. but nothing helped. oddly enough.. He didn't start to calm down until i start making a collection of first person shooters for him. it seams to be his muse. he's never truly happy but there are few things that can be done. I need to work on integrating him but the idea scares the fuck out of me.

at the worst.. doctors have counted over 800 slice marks over my body (not scars). its painful. its scary. and it forces a level of paranoia in me. I now have to ask myself after a switch.. "what have i done?" "have i hurt anybody?" "am I hurt?". these are questions nobody should have to ask. but it was a fact of my life at that point. that was a year ago. With help I have had only 1 day of switching in that time (yesterday). Which leads me to one of the scariest things that can happen to me..

Occasionally i will switch and be truly lost when i can to. i can find myself anywhere. Waking up in the middle of a forest (clothed) covered in mud when you were just taking a bath is traumatizing in itself. but its these things you learn to live with. As for this problem itself.. I have found a solution (and i already posted about it) feel free to take a look :)

http://imgur.com/gallery/fxPbI

one day i will have those shoes and i will never be lost again.

I have more stories but i've been typing for a long time. i'm ready to rest. However this is received.. i'm just glad i was able to type it out. its not an easy thing for me.

Also.. for the record.. these are my personal experiences. i don't know how they compare to other MPD/DID cases. I'm only going by what i've witnessed and been told by those who were around when i switched.

[MP Edit]: since making the first post i have been messaged by so many people living with dissociative disorders (there are 4 types i believe) that i had to start doing some research. DID is classified as "rare" which means it has fewer than 200,000 diagnosis a year. But there are many of us.

cat tax. his name is Salem and he's seen some shit.

Thank you for taking the time to read this long ass thing. Hope it was educational

And please remember..

OP DELIVERED

FP edit: i can't believe the response i've gotten from imgur. For hour my inbox has been flooded with questions and well wishes. you are trully wonderful people. For those who think this is a ploy for points or pity. i'm sorry to dissapoint you. this is something i've lived with for a very long time. i've never seen any of these movies you speak of. its dangerous for me. i wouldn't want to risk having a movie put me in a position to switch. "Lord Fynn" (your name for him) has been giggling in my head all day. i've never heard him this happy. so i must thank you all. its a wonderful feeling. I promise i will make more posts. I have been asked so many question i'll have to make a post just for them. But the rest of today (4/17/17) will be devoted to trying to answer as many messages as possible. I don't know alot about D.I.D except for what i've experienced myself.
many of you have asked me to make a gofundme. as much as it would be a lifesaver to get those shoes. For now i don't want people to think i'm doing this for money. I just want people to understand what it means to be me.

New Update Edit: http://imgur.com/gallery/NJjJ1