The Good Boy’s Guide To National Puppy Day

Hello, human person! My name is Goku! Did you know that March 23 is National Puppy Day? I know this because it is a super important dog holiday. Every dog hopes Puppy Day will bring their forever home, or some extra treats, or some new toys.

I love new toys. They are the best to chew and play with. If you want to get me (or your dog maybe I guess) a Puppy Day present, here are some great things I found.

Let’s Be Dinosaur Friends!

Don’t get scared, human! That is not a for real dinosaur. That is a dog inside a dinosaur suit. It is super cool. You should get me one, especially if you have a dinosaur suit of your own, so we can be dinosaurs and scare all the squirrels together. RAAAAR squirrels. Hahaha.

I Can Chew On The Phone Like A People

You know how you always have your phone in your mouth? Now I can chew on a phone too! This is the ibone plush pillow. It is the latest model and can be chewed on any network. It has many gigglebytes and also apps, which are things that squeak when you press them.

There’s Something Dignified About This Toy

I love this chew toy! It is the Humunga ‘stache ball toy. This one dog had it at the dog park and all of the humans were laughing at her, which I thought was weird but whatever, it is a good toy to chew on.

I Am The Captain Now

You know what is my favorite thing? Besides food. And toys. And naps. And walks. And chasing squirrels. Coming to work with you! Especially if I get to sit on this fancy bed and stare at you while you work. It is the captain’s chair from Star Trek. I know this because you watch Star Trek a lot and I watch you like all the time always.

Now We Can Talk Together All The Time

This thing is some super great science. It is the Bow-Lingual dog translator, which lets you understand what I am saying. Let me put it on and we’ll see if it works.

BARK BARK BARK "Give Goku a treat"
BARK BARK BARK "Like, all of the treats"
BARK BARK BARK "Let’s get rid of the cat while we’re at it"

Help Me Keep Up My Social Media Presence

At first I didn’t care about Twitter, cause I don’t like birds, but now I realize it is super important. If you have this Puppy Tweets kit, I can remind you to bring me leftovers from your lunch and that it’s time for walkies. You know, all the important things.

Here’s One For The Little Dogs

So this is not for me because I am a super big dog, but for people who have small dogs, this sling is great because you can carry your dog everywhere. That’s it, human. You can stop reading now.

Okay, small dogs this is for you: if you’re in this thing you can totally steal their food while they’re eating because you’ll be on their chest. You have to be really fast and just snatch it! Good luck. You owe me food for this super good advice.

Dress To Impress

I love it when we go on walkies to places. Like in the woods, where I can chase squirrels or on the beach, where I can chase seagulls. But you have to be careful and make sure I am protected from evil sticky burrs. These shoes will help keep my feets safe, which is good, because I need my feets for walking. I wish these came in colors besides gray, though.

Also did you know Imgur makes a hoodie for dogs? It is amazing and I need one. Luckily it comes in gray so it matches my shoes!

Person Tax

This is my mom @brianna. She is the best person of all the people in the whole world. This picture makes me so excited, I need to go slurp her face. But first I must chase my kitty sister Bulma. Then face licking.

Happy National Puppy Day! Consider adopting a new friend or treating your pooch to something special. With love from eBay, and a huge thanks to Brianna her handsome pup Goku.