It's been quite a ride so far

Jul 18, 2016 5:59 AM

Vimry

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So earlier this evening I got a random friend request, from somebody I had no mutual friends with and had never seen before in my life. I accepted because, hey she was cute, why not.
Her first message was, "do you know [my adopted parents names]?" I said of course and we started talking, a few messages in she asks if she can basically drop a bomb on me, I say sure.
She tells me that she's actually my aunt and that I'm her sisters child.
Now honestly I wasn't surprised, I've suspected that I'm adopted for years... not many people actually have a child when they're nearly 50, I look nothing like my family, the list goes on.
She told me a lot of really specific details and her story matches up to what little I know about my childhood. My "parents" were my mother's aunt and uncle, my "father" was adopted so I am actually not related to them by blood.
I got to talk with 4 aunts I didn't know I had. They're all pretty awesome.
Turns out I was essentially stolen as a child. My mother was 19 (my current age) when I was born, and couldn't afford a child so she joined the military. I was meant to be temporarily signed over to her aunt and uncle while she served. They abused/manipulated her into signing me over completely and then took off to another city, then another state. They've kept me from most of my extended family all these years because of that, I'm assuming out of fear of them telling me.
I talked to my mother for the first time tonight. We have a ton in common and we look like sisters. I hope to meet her someday in the near future.
I'm terrified of how my current family will act or what they'll do to me when they find out that I know about all of this now.
Sorry for the whole life story, I needed to recount tonight's events and get them off my chest.

TL;DR: a stranger messaged me on Facebook, she's actually my aunt, told me I'm adopted, introduced me to my mom and a bunch of family I didn't know existed.

Who cares, parents are the ones who care for you, now who your DNA belongs to.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

v

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Therapy is a good plan anyway - even to have someone separate to talk to if family flips out. Good luck and hope it goes smoothly.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

My bio dad fed me a bunch of bs about Y he hadn't been around when we 1st met. Took me yrs to realize he was garbage. Be careful, OP.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

UNLESS the laws have changed 18 mean you can do whatever the fuck you want while abinding by the law

9 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 3

Keep posting an update please

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I know how you feel. The night I told my parents that I was adopted was pretty hard on them too.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Gave me a giggle. Thank you.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I was adopted by my aunt and uncle too. I always knew. I have a good relationship with my birth mom. There are always two sides. Check both.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Not a confession. Wrong meme use. This is not sad bear. v

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 5

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

Damn... if you lived near me I would've drove on a road trip for this reunion(shenanigans!) Man. I've watched to many reunion video on 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

YouTube that I want to be there for one lol. 2/2

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Bruh(ette)! Wtf?! That's wild and I hope you're able to deal with your "mom and dad" successfully.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Have a plan in place in case they have an extreme reaction. Be prepared and stay strong. At least lots of people love you.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I have a vague one already, theres a lot of places I could go, the only problem would be getting to some of them haha.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

While studying genetics in high school a kid in my class figured out he couldn't be the biological son of his parents. He was right.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I call this story bullshit...

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Don't assume the stranger's story is accurate. That is one side. Talk to your parents about it. Hear their side too.

9 years ago | Likes 100 Dislikes 0

yup. two sides to every story, especially when its family drama. OP needs to give the parents a chance to explain how it happened too.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

There's three sides. Both sides perspective and the truth.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

more than three even. truth's a perspective based on evidence which may/may not be factual. facts, I think we can agree however, are facts.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Uh. Definitely talk to your parents. Because this sounds like a scam. Wanna know other reasons they're estranged from their family? They

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

could be toxic, abusive people who try to poison people against them for whatever reason. And you could be falling for it.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Can we get an update on this as it goes, OP?

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah, if anything big happens I'll post an update. There are lots of little details as to why I believe them too. I dont run on blind faith.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

@OP you almost slipped it past me that you are a girl who likes girls, not that it matters. It's cool you aren't anxious about acceptance.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yeah I usually don't worry about it too much. I don't go around talking about it all the time but I don't hide it either.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Winning at being yourself + 1 I hope my comment doesn't get you wieners in your inbox.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"Dad am I adopted?" Well your black and were Asian so either that or your the lamest X-Men

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It's definitely worth getting both sides of the story. My birth mother's sister also contacted me on Facebook and gave me this whole (1/?)

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Story about how my dad was abusive and kept me from that side of the family. And how she kept trying to see me... I talked to my dad and (2/

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They've had years to come up with an excuse for why they never contacted you. FIN

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

He gave me his side of the story. And I know the truth is somewhere in between the two. Moral: don't believe everything your told cuz (3/?)

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They didn't steal you if she signed over her rights. Most likely they moved to avoid the bad side of the family. Tread carefully.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Holy shit. What a story. I only suggest that when you talk with your adopted parents keep an open mind (they may that been doing what they 1

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

thought was best). Even if it wasn't in the long run. My Mum spent about 6 months living with her aunt because my Grandma had some type of 2

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

a breakdown. None of my family speak of it like it's a taboo subject or something. 3

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

My Mum doesn't really remember it because she was about 2. 4

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I was adopted too. I know the feeling

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You had a right to know. Sorry it's such a rollercoaster, breathe and process it

9 years ago | Likes 413 Dislikes 1

Geez, I used that advice just reading that. Best of luck OP!

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Thank you. I'll be fine, just gotta figure out what step to take now.

9 years ago | Likes 90 Dislikes 1

as someone in a similar situation, don't ever make the mistake of saying "you're not my real x" because you'll regret those words forever.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I just found out I had two sisters I didn't know (second marriage estranged father) be happy to chat with you if you need someone

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yea yo it's your life not theirs

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

DNA tests to be sure. A therapist who has experience with walking people through these types of situations. Take everything slow.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I just want to know why your aunt and uncle thought completely keeping her out of your life was ok.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

To be frank, theyre all kinda crazy. My "sister" runs all their lives, gets pissed when someone even wants access to their own bank account.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Wut lol

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Don't see how it changes anything

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Go see your mom!

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 2

Please don't get tangled in emotional blackmail from any relative new founds or old one's. It's about what you would like in your life.

9 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 0

No worries there. I've never had an emotional bond to anybody in my family so they really don't have that power over me.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Score!! Two Christmases!!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Just be careful. Don't do anything rash.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Details bother me here. As a mother, nothing could convince me that my daughter didn't need me around in some way. But I love her. I don't

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

understand how someone could keep way from their child til their (conveniently) of adult age, then suddenly reappear in this day and age. >

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Facebook has existed since 2004. Private investigators; much longer than that...

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

they're* darnit

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I think it is your current family that should be terrified of your reaction.

9 years ago | Likes 110 Dislikes 7

Op says exactly that...

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 52

OP says exact opposite dipshit

9 years ago | Likes 45 Dislikes 6

Random insult makes everything better. :D

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 19

Correct me at your peril.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 2

A world where i'm not allowed to call a internet stranger a dipshit is not a world i want to live in. Dipshit. ;)

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Oh my dad, this site is worse than Tumblr... I compliment you and I get downvoted.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

absolutely ruthless out here. Have an up-vote.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Dipshit was wholly deserved. We need age segregated internet I'm telling you guys.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 2

Uh... 'I'm terrified how my current will react' are you sure? Seems like she did talk about her current family. Did you read?

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 24

I hear a small concession in your syntax. Can you see it yet? You'll kick yourself when reality bites.

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 3

HOLY SHIT LOL

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 5

I DERPED READING YOUR COMMENT SO HARD LOOOOOOOOOL

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 4

With how screwed up my family is, they all have these crazy perspectives of what happened.I'd make sure and get the other side of the story<

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

>Though it's always good to know more of your family and history, good or bad. Depending how these people have treated you, I wouldn't <

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

>assume the worse of them, unless they've been shits all your life. I recently told my son he wasn't 'blood' to me and he basically said <

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

>"oh really, what was his name? Ok, What's for dinner?" and that was it. He doesn't care because he realizes how close we really are. I <

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

> (and his mom) were shocked at how easy the talk was. I expect more questions in the future, but for now, he doesn't seem to care.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I would speak to your parents asap....could be a con. I look very little like the rest of my family....but no doubt I'm not adopted

9 years ago | Likes 324 Dislikes 2

Better safe than sorry :B

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

And if it's true that she's adopted, their version of events could be VERY different--good to hear it all before being angry.

9 years ago | Likes 57 Dislikes 0

A con to do what?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

Anything from money to just stir up trouble. I wouldn't put it past some of my family members to do this just to hurt someone

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

"Hey, jr, now that you know the truth, could you loan mommy a couple thousand dollars?"

9 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

Or "Hey you want to meet your mother sometime in the near future?" and BAM, you've got yourself a naive 19 year old girl.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

This is where planning for a DNA test is going to be a super important step.

9 years ago | Likes 94 Dislikes 0

I would actually do that before talking to the parents, since they could lie if OP actually was stolen. Best to have irrefutable proof.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Exactly. Also, usually birth certificates say whether an adoption happened or not

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

A DNA test at a place of OP's choosing. I mean you can never be too careful, there might be someone with an "in" to scam people.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Yeah I understand. Theres lots of little details I left out that make me believe it all. I have no money or anything for them to take either

9 years ago | Likes 46 Dislikes 1

How have your adopted parents treated you all these years? Do you see them as capable of the abuse your mother claims to have endured?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

They've been abusive to me in the past so I can definitely see it.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Don't let that lure you into a false sense of security. You have an identity that can be stolen. And that can be even more devastating.

9 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 0

Scam or not, there is 2 sides to the story. May be another reason for them not telling. Like that you biological parents are crabpeople!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Anyway be carefull of strangers

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

wow, your "parents" sound like real douchebags. If I were you I'd leave them the same way they forced your mother to leave you.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

but yeah, like another poster said, hope for the best, and prepare for the worst(including violence, you never know).

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

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9 years ago (deleted Jun 8, 2018 10:43 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

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9 years ago (deleted Jun 8, 2018 10:44 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

No, I am saying that she should hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Obviously the chances that it will get violent are pretty slim

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

BUt they are not non-existent either. Far more fucked up things have happened to people I know personally, so not preparing is simply naive.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Dude, this is just advice based on little facts. She knows whats best for her and will make her own decision if she has any sense.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

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9 years ago (deleted Jun 8, 2018 10:43 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

My assumptions are based on very few facts. Also I'm pretty sure advice like: hope for the best, and prepare for the worst, is good advice.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Like, how old are you, are you one of these people that never had anything bad happen to them. Call me cynical, but I'm not stupid enough 1/

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

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9 years ago (deleted Jun 8, 2018 10:43 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

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9 years ago (deleted Jun 8, 2018 10:43 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Well if she has any sense she will, repeat: hope for the best, and prepare for the worst. I'm sure she is capable of figuring out the truth.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Oh how about the fact that they refused her mother any sort of conatct through legal trickery, and then kept it a secret for years. 1/

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I dunno about you, but if I found out my "parents" had done that to me, I'd be furious.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0