Vimry
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So earlier this evening I got a random friend request, from somebody I had no mutual friends with and had never seen before in my life. I accepted because, hey she was cute, why not.
Her first message was, "do you know [my adopted parents names]?" I said of course and we started talking, a few messages in she asks if she can basically drop a bomb on me, I say sure.
She tells me that she's actually my aunt and that I'm her sisters child.
Now honestly I wasn't surprised, I've suspected that I'm adopted for years... not many people actually have a child when they're nearly 50, I look nothing like my family, the list goes on.
She told me a lot of really specific details and her story matches up to what little I know about my childhood. My "parents" were my mother's aunt and uncle, my "father" was adopted so I am actually not related to them by blood.
I got to talk with 4 aunts I didn't know I had. They're all pretty awesome.
Turns out I was essentially stolen as a child. My mother was 19 (my current age) when I was born, and couldn't afford a child so she joined the military. I was meant to be temporarily signed over to her aunt and uncle while she served. They abused/manipulated her into signing me over completely and then took off to another city, then another state. They've kept me from most of my extended family all these years because of that, I'm assuming out of fear of them telling me.
I talked to my mother for the first time tonight. We have a ton in common and we look like sisters. I hope to meet her someday in the near future.
I'm terrified of how my current family will act or what they'll do to me when they find out that I know about all of this now.
Sorry for the whole life story, I needed to recount tonight's events and get them off my chest.
TL;DR: a stranger messaged me on Facebook, she's actually my aunt, told me I'm adopted, introduced me to my mom and a bunch of family I didn't know existed.
lospaturno
Who cares, parents are the ones who care for you, now who your DNA belongs to.
ervee
medici
Therapy is a good plan anyway - even to have someone separate to talk to if family flips out. Good luck and hope it goes smoothly.
chelstor
My bio dad fed me a bunch of bs about Y he hadn't been around when we 1st met. Took me yrs to realize he was garbage. Be careful, OP.
PONCHOKILLER
UNLESS the laws have changed 18 mean you can do whatever the fuck you want while abinding by the law
ZackJordan
Keep posting an update please
NotEvenAlittleBit
I know how you feel. The night I told my parents that I was adopted was pretty hard on them too.
Vimry
Gave me a giggle. Thank you.
HighQueenEmma
I was adopted by my aunt and uncle too. I always knew. I have a good relationship with my birth mom. There are always two sides. Check both.
rouik
Not a confession. Wrong meme use. This is not sad bear.
v
bluefacepaint
anonnona887
Damn... if you lived near me I would've drove on a road trip for this reunion(shenanigans!) Man. I've watched to many reunion video on 1/2
anonnona887
YouTube that I want to be there for one lol. 2/2
relaximusprime
Bruh(ette)! Wtf?! That's wild and I hope you're able to deal with your "mom and dad" successfully.
mellowdrama
Have a plan in place in case they have an extreme reaction. Be prepared and stay strong. At least lots of people love you.
Vimry
I have a vague one already, theres a lot of places I could go, the only problem would be getting to some of them haha.
Crossulti
While studying genetics in high school a kid in my class figured out he couldn't be the biological son of his parents. He was right.
myteenyverse
I call this story bullshit...
Straulin
Don't assume the stranger's story is accurate. That is one side. Talk to your parents about it. Hear their side too.
Bellemorda
yup. two sides to every story, especially when its family drama. OP needs to give the parents a chance to explain how it happened too.
Katrin931
There's three sides. Both sides perspective and the truth.
Bellemorda
more than three even. truth's a perspective based on evidence which may/may not be factual. facts, I think we can agree however, are facts.
anakhasilver
Uh. Definitely talk to your parents. Because this sounds like a scam. Wanna know other reasons they're estranged from their family? They
anakhasilver
could be toxic, abusive people who try to poison people against them for whatever reason. And you could be falling for it.
CatchfireArt
Can we get an update on this as it goes, OP?
SunAnvil
.
Vimry
Yeah, if anything big happens I'll post an update. There are lots of little details as to why I believe them too. I dont run on blind faith.
MedicSailor
@OP you almost slipped it past me that you are a girl who likes girls, not that it matters. It's cool you aren't anxious about acceptance.
Vimry
Yeah I usually don't worry about it too much. I don't go around talking about it all the time but I don't hide it either.
MedicSailor
Winning at being yourself + 1 I hope my comment doesn't get you wieners in your inbox.
Poltergeist94
"Dad am I adopted?" Well your black and were Asian so either that or your the lamest X-Men
Belecho
It's definitely worth getting both sides of the story. My birth mother's sister also contacted me on Facebook and gave me this whole (1/?)
Belecho
Story about how my dad was abusive and kept me from that side of the family. And how she kept trying to see me... I talked to my dad and (2/
Belecho
They've had years to come up with an excuse for why they never contacted you. FIN
Belecho
He gave me his side of the story. And I know the truth is somewhere in between the two. Moral: don't believe everything your told cuz (3/?)
AngieSims
They didn't steal you if she signed over her rights. Most likely they moved to avoid the bad side of the family. Tread carefully.
aspiringworldtraveller
Holy shit. What a story. I only suggest that when you talk with your adopted parents keep an open mind (they may that been doing what they 1
aspiringworldtraveller
thought was best). Even if it wasn't in the long run. My Mum spent about 6 months living with her aunt because my Grandma had some type of 2
aspiringworldtraveller
a breakdown. None of my family speak of it like it's a taboo subject or something. 3
aspiringworldtraveller
My Mum doesn't really remember it because she was about 2. 4
NicholasLeptich
I was adopted too. I know the feeling
allguineapigsarecheesecurds
You had a right to know. Sorry it's such a rollercoaster, breathe and process it
CaptainPickleFarts
Geez, I used that advice just reading that. Best of luck OP!
Vimry
Thank you. I'll be fine, just gotta figure out what step to take now.
SomeoneNotFromTheNSA
as someone in a similar situation, don't ever make the mistake of saying "you're not my real x" because you'll regret those words forever.
gizziethefurball
I just found out I had two sisters I didn't know (second marriage estranged father) be happy to chat with you if you need someone
StayingDistracted
Yea yo it's your life not theirs
human8060
DNA tests to be sure. A therapist who has experience with walking people through these types of situations. Take everything slow.
TheMonsterWithinYou
I just want to know why your aunt and uncle thought completely keeping her out of your life was ok.
Vimry
To be frank, theyre all kinda crazy. My "sister" runs all their lives, gets pissed when someone even wants access to their own bank account.
TheMonsterWithinYou
Wut lol
isthatgoodicanttell
Don't see how it changes anything
LordCommanderofUsersub
Go see your mom!
LiesAndCompulsiveLiar
Please don't get tangled in emotional blackmail from any relative new founds or old one's. It's about what you would like in your life.
Vimry
No worries there. I've never had an emotional bond to anybody in my family so they really don't have that power over me.
CriManSquaFandCdoubletime
Score!! Two Christmases!!
squishcat
Just be careful. Don't do anything rash.
squishcat
Details bother me here. As a mother, nothing could convince me that my daughter didn't need me around in some way. But I love her. I don't
squishcat
understand how someone could keep way from their child til their (conveniently) of adult age, then suddenly reappear in this day and age. >
squishcat
Facebook has existed since 2004. Private investigators; much longer than that...
squishcat
they're* darnit
TheReddishTurtle
I think it is your current family that should be terrified of your reaction.
spookhook
Op says exactly that...
TheReddishTurtle
OP says exact opposite dipshit
chimneyspooper
Random insult makes everything better. :D
TheReddishTurtle
Correct me at your peril.
uhrenpapst
A world where i'm not allowed to call a internet stranger a dipshit is not a world i want to live in. Dipshit. ;)
chimneyspooper
Oh my dad, this site is worse than Tumblr... I compliment you and I get downvoted.
TheReddishTurtle
absolutely ruthless out here. Have an up-vote.
Brotzbertz
Dipshit was wholly deserved. We need age segregated internet I'm telling you guys.
Sionas
Uh... 'I'm terrified how my current will react' are you sure? Seems like she did talk about her current family. Did you read?
TheReddishTurtle
I hear a small concession in your syntax. Can you see it yet? You'll kick yourself when reality bites.
Sionas
HOLY SHIT LOL
Sionas
I DERPED READING YOUR COMMENT SO HARD LOOOOOOOOOL
swatz
With how screwed up my family is, they all have these crazy perspectives of what happened.I'd make sure and get the other side of the story<
swatz
>Though it's always good to know more of your family and history, good or bad. Depending how these people have treated you, I wouldn't <
swatz
>assume the worse of them, unless they've been shits all your life. I recently told my son he wasn't 'blood' to me and he basically said <
swatz
>"oh really, what was his name? Ok, What's for dinner?" and that was it. He doesn't care because he realizes how close we really are. I <
swatz
> (and his mom) were shocked at how easy the talk was. I expect more questions in the future, but for now, he doesn't seem to care.
ifyouareacuntanyouknowitclapyourflaps
I would speak to your parents asap....could be a con. I look very little like the rest of my family....but no doubt I'm not adopted
PeachyPanic
Better safe than sorry :B
AlltheAnswers
And if it's true that she's adopted, their version of events could be VERY different--good to hear it all before being angry.
Avanah
A con to do what?
ifyouareacuntanyouknowitclapyourflaps
Anything from money to just stir up trouble. I wouldn't put it past some of my family members to do this just to hurt someone
mritty
"Hey, jr, now that you know the truth, could you loan mommy a couple thousand dollars?"
TheDogEnd
Or "Hey you want to meet your mother sometime in the near future?" and BAM, you've got yourself a naive 19 year old girl.
Donnicton
This is where planning for a DNA test is going to be a super important step.
MnemonicMonkeys
I would actually do that before talking to the parents, since they could lie if OP actually was stolen. Best to have irrefutable proof.
ifyouareacuntanyouknowitclapyourflaps
Exactly. Also, usually birth certificates say whether an adoption happened or not
bringingclawstoagunfight
A DNA test at a place of OP's choosing. I mean you can never be too careful, there might be someone with an "in" to scam people.
Vimry
Yeah I understand. Theres lots of little details I left out that make me believe it all. I have no money or anything for them to take either
Boopbeepbeep
How have your adopted parents treated you all these years? Do you see them as capable of the abuse your mother claims to have endured?
Vimry
They've been abusive to me in the past so I can definitely see it.
ClarityAndVision
Don't let that lure you into a false sense of security. You have an identity that can be stolen. And that can be even more devastating.
SolidEdge
Scam or not, there is 2 sides to the story. May be another reason for them not telling. Like that you biological parents are crabpeople!
SolidEdge
Anyway be carefull of strangers
bleekosa
wow, your "parents" sound like real douchebags. If I were you I'd leave them the same way they forced your mother to leave you.
bleekosa
but yeah, like another poster said, hope for the best, and prepare for the worst(including violence, you never know).
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bleekosa
No, I am saying that she should hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Obviously the chances that it will get violent are pretty slim
bleekosa
BUt they are not non-existent either. Far more fucked up things have happened to people I know personally, so not preparing is simply naive.
bleekosa
Dude, this is just advice based on little facts. She knows whats best for her and will make her own decision if she has any sense.
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bleekosa
My assumptions are based on very few facts. Also I'm pretty sure advice like: hope for the best, and prepare for the worst, is good advice.
bleekosa
Like, how old are you, are you one of these people that never had anything bad happen to them. Call me cynical, but I'm not stupid enough 1/
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bleekosa
Well if she has any sense she will, repeat: hope for the best, and prepare for the worst. I'm sure she is capable of figuring out the truth.
bleekosa
Oh how about the fact that they refused her mother any sort of conatct through legal trickery, and then kept it a secret for years. 1/
bleekosa
I dunno about you, but if I found out my "parents" had done that to me, I'd be furious.