SvickovasknedIikem
40641
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Jun 17, 2016 12:07 PM
SvickovasknedIikem
40641
1574
75
LookItsAReallyFreakinLongUsernameOhMyGodItGosOnForever
+1 for Klutz Book of Inventions
craziicrazii
I don't have an ashtray I'll just use this bottle. But wait! An Ashtray Bottle has appeared!
Davidnfilms
I want that toaster!
bigtomstud84
Great now it will be even easier to steal children! All I have to do is wait for them to hang them on the stall wall and pull them over.
PurpleAndBlack
Solving problems that don't actually exist.
endsim
How do you hold that wine glass?
iFINALLYmadeAcomment
I'm still going to get weird looks for playing golf in the middle of Wal-Mart though.
knotImpressed
And what's to stop a person in the next stall from popping those baby hooks off?.....no one....thats who
Burgurple
#5 is a god damn stroke of genius! WHY HAS THIS NOT BEEN A THING FOR YEARS?!?
imgurusername7
The future is whelming.
mleouf
#6 Where I live, this type of bulbs is forbidden...
fatbottomgirlsmaketheworldgoround
that reading chair looks uncomfortable as fuck..
imalumberjack
The flat light bulb is useless though
ukraineadoption
scary , infrastructure is not ready, adaptation thing around makes things look stupid, except the few they not only useless they stupid
aninvisiblemaniac
They so stupid
Mithi
The future is #3 ? Seriously? Half of the people here would have to google what the flat, round black-thingie is.
wadatahmydamie
I actually have one. It's awesome, and fairly inexpensive.
elfes92
CallOfChuChu
Why on earth would someone even think of making these, except that finger guard of course.
thecolonels
I'm a cook. If I brought that into work I'd either be fired or made fun of until I killed myself.
CallOfChuChu
Well, so I guess that's idiotic too...
thecolonels
There is a method for cutting things. Takes a few hours before you just do it naturally and you'll never cut yourself.
Alcard
Ffs, use a god damned fork for dunking your Oreos. I came up with that when I was like 3. It's not rocket surgery people.
BigRedMonkeyButts
make sure you refuckulate your flux capac... aww shit Bubbles you know I'm no good at playing space.
HowCanIDecide
https://youtu.be/THNPmhBl-8I
OccamsToothbrush
Chopsticks also work.
thejerzydevil
My buddy always used the toothpick method.
FlattusMaximus
Rocket appliances*
thegump93
Brain compartments and departments
FlattusMaximus
Too much time refuckulating on juniper
thegump93
Gotta learn stuff through denial and error
JPre35
why would anyone need to come up with that use your damn fingers
Alcard
Because when you eat a whole package your fingers get pruned.
GnomeAnn
It never occurred to me that liquids other than water can prune fingers.
hellhathnofury45
Haha. I can say I've never dunked til my fingers pruned, new life goal.
quietextrovert
Quick piss in the 7 Iron before we start the back 9.
AintNobodyGotTimeFoDis
It's all fun and games until someone unhooks your baby from the other side while you're shitting.
LarryDNJR
This was the first thing I was thinking. That would suck.
TheDuckThatCantQuack
I've always thought the best place to put a baby is on a door
aStupidTaco
PrettyRick
#1 great thinking with the hooks, now I can forget where I left my kid in even more places..
Vydrach
And you know assholes'd knock them off on purpose.
Groucho713
I just see hands on walls and hands in mouth. "Baby Geoffrey forever unclean!"
yourrabiddoggy
10/10, would forget where I had left the kid.
blueknot
As silly as some of these things are, I really want the veg-cutting finger guard. Oh, and the key rack...
ruint
The guard is imo dangerous, you will slice your fingers off next time you don't have one. Better to keep your knife sharp, and clawgrip veg
blueknot
That's kind of like saying "if I get used to using an oven mitt I might forget and burn my hands when I don't have one."
ruint
no... you slice into your fingers because the knife is blunt, it is diverted by changes in density (ie onion layers), so you use more force
ruint
so it goes off-centre into your fingers. A good sharp knife held well; it is much easier.
blueknot
I kinda think I'd use a sharp knife with or without the guard.
UppityWalrus
Or you can just have normal things like a normal person with a normal life
dragonadamant
How many of our normal things would have seemed odd ten or twenty years ago, though?
Cheomesh
That wine glass one does not fucking work like that
MichaelGenovese
Yeah gravity still exists.
RincewindTVD
It should work, assuming you're in normal atmospheric pressure.
tactleneckwantsants
if air can't get in then wine can't come out.
Cheomesh
Unless the pressure of the weight of that wine is greater than that of the air.
tactleneckwantsants
Mr. Wizard, 1 playing card held 5 gallons of water in a glass bottle because air could not replace the water. The glass is important here.
thegump93
#4, all work and no play makes Jack and interior designer
CorrectorOfSlightlyOffQuotes
If the axe is functional I'd get this and keep it in my room.
WhimsicalCalamari
#3 is kinda nice. not good for audiophiles but it's incredibly portable. probably really good for shopping/sample hunting.
DinoSuarez
There's a few major flaws; 1, it's a Crosley. 2, there's no counter-weight on the arm, so it's going to but way too much pressure on the 1/2
DinoSuarez
(2/2) needle, and ruin your LPs within a few dozen plays. And finally, since it isn't supporting the record by the edges,
DinoSuarez
(3/2) it'll most likely cause the records to get warped.
Salxikas
Couldn't you have stopped after "It's a Crosley?"
DinoSuarez
Yes, but this one's somehow even worse than the garbage they normally produce
Toby1066
Is... is that a golf club you can piss into? O_o
RomaFrozenPizzas
If it's not a course with seclusion, I always kneel and piss out the bottom of my shorts on the links.
personsofinterest
yea I assume it comes out the other end, but either way who wants to carry around a stinky piss club. Reminds me of the Go Girl.
MyCatLikesToFruitcake
Imagine the cap malfunctioning and falling off during a swing
sharkhugs
So I'm supposed to buy a golf club...and carry it around everywhere...with a towel...just to piss into.
igniteice
And then carry IT around with a bunch of piss sloshing around in it.
ArcaneM37
Yeah it's a legit product for older guys who can't hold it. It was on shark tank and he got an investor if i rememebr right.
myweaknessisstrong
I got this guys, I got this..."When your yelling "FOUR!" but need to go number 1."
ReadOnlyMemories
*you're
Kopachris
Yes it is
iperblastoma
and then you can drink the collected urine..
LudicrousSpeedGo
I see you Bear Grylls..
PrisonGuard
When I play we just walk to wood line and piss. No ones gives a shit and normally we are to drunk to care.
GlenL
For when you have no problem pissing in public but are too classy to piss on the grass
mtoso
I refuse to believe a golfer invented that...finding a nice tree is half the fun
clavigo
Haha i thought it was a fleshlight
asspickle
That's a bullshit product. I know guys who shit in the woods playing golf. They carry TP in their golf bag.
craziicrazii
google infomercial for Uroclub. I can't tell if it's hilarious or pathetic.
erischilde
It's fucking awful. but so are a lot of golfers i knew; pissing on things, anytime, anywhere. but.. this.. *shudder*
ArcaneM37
It was made in ernestness, not as a joke, by an old man with urinanry issues. He made it for himself and thought others would like it.
stinkycheezmonky
Older men and urinary issues is a real thing. Still, I don't know that this is a good solution.
ConfessionBare
It's a lifesaver during mardi gras.
chassics
As New Orleanian, I'm pretty sure most people treat the complete environment fair game during Mardi Gras
nightgamer06
God i thought it was for liqour and i was like why is his dick up to his flask? Or it was a golf club flesh lite
TheCriticsWereConciseItOnlyTookFourLines
You've never tried drinking that way? Try it with 150 proof cinnamon vodka for a gentle first time start
lonelyorange
More about me than you ever wanted to know, but the first time I tried an alcohol enema I used 100 proof vodka. That was the last time too.
nightgamer06
Did you feel a slight tingling sensation?
lonelyorange
A little, yes. Mostly 4 days of discomfort... Killed off my gut flora, needed to wait for new bacteria to colonize. Would not recommend
nightgamer06
Knew what would happen tried it any way. Know i have a new fetish and another ban from a liqour store.
Yourcommentdeservesmorerecognition
I thought it was for masturbation, so I'm actually relieved by your alternate explanation
Madv1lla1n
Trap the red wine in a bubble so that it a. Cannot Breathe & b. Prevents you consuming at the rate necessary for a Friday night. Cuntish!
Madv1lla1n
Wanking AND Golfing you say? Sign me up!
PQTANLINDA
http://imgur.com/NQGaeDk
trailerparksupervisor
A fleshdriver?
Spicymuffins89
*fleshlight not included
Justabuckeye
Why do I need a flat light bublb?
fiddlewheelx
Compact living
TMStage
aesthetic
Cheomesh
To put out shitty light.
BlasserDuennerJunge
For a flat flat you could use a flat one.
Talligan
So they break when you apply the smallest amount of torque to screw them in
ruthbaderginsburg
Good point, I wonder if they use a slightly thicker glass to prevent that
ChimneyImps
So you can stick your finger in tge socket while the bulb is still plugged in.
Notyourexboyfriend
In Windows behind curtains
Everyothernamewastaken
You don't need one but you can fit a ton more in the cabinet I guess. They stack.
stinkycheezmonky
If you need to increase your cabinet light bulb storage capacity, it may be time to call an electrician for the issues you undoubtedly have.
DinoQueenJoules
Businesses
Everyothernamewastaken
again you don't NEED them but they still take up less space and thats what they are "for.
stinkycheezmonky
<--- Point of the joke.....You --->
Everyothernamewastaken
Lol oh I get it ....