YourLordNSavior
286349
9024
471
Either it is all okay
Or none of it is okay
Most viral edit: Ummm send me photos you’ve photoshopped the weirder the better, any old photo, or your hobbies!
Jan 4, 2018 12:05 PM
YourLordNSavior
286349
9024
471
Either it is all okay
Or none of it is okay
Most viral edit: Ummm send me photos you’ve photoshopped the weirder the better, any old photo, or your hobbies!
houndsdobro
As a woman, it’s bullshit that women think it’s okay to hit a man. Respect goes both ways.
DoYouEvenCareAboutPeople
None is okay. Next.
TheDroidLukeAlmostBought
domestic violence is never okay. it's never funny and it's always a big deal. if your partner hurts you, take it seriously.
parsious
and if you a man prepare to be ignored, disbelieved and apparently arrested
AmatureSpaceCowboy
kesaci
I’ve been hit 3 times because supposedly “I provoked it”. It’s unfair that I’m suppose to sit there and take it and protect myself.
joeyjojosharknado
Swap the genders. You hit her because "she provoked you". No-one would even hesitate in calling that domestic abuse.
UltraBooster
Ive seen men defend themselves. The white knights tend to not speak up when the wall of internet anonymity is absent
kesaci
It always looks so bad on our part if we were to do anything in retaliation. All I ask is if I don’t touch you, you don’t touch me.
UltraBooster
"I let this girl beat me up cuz i didnt want too look bad"
Traja01
What's unfair about being expected to protect yourself?
kesaci
I meant it’s unfair I have to take it. All I can do is protect myself. Word limitation forced to to cut out some words.
Traja01
I gotcha. Well, all anyone can do (legally) is protect themselves. Social conventions are a bit different though.
Mdp2525
You don’t have to take it! 1st try to leave (instead of use physical force - you’ll end up muddying waters for mutual combatant DV)>
Mdp2525
Whenever possible, separate from the threat, then call. If you cannot use appropriate force to extricate yourself.
harleyhugger
Abuse is NEVER OK, male, female, children, animals, mental & physical. NONE of it is ok.
UnconventionalScreams
What if getting abused is my fetish
CrAzYkEePeR13
As a girl reading this shit it's so fucked up, I would never do something like that and if I did I should be punished the same for thecrime
erestyn
Violence is never okay, just be the best person you can be and set the standard.
ButterflyZo
^ Yup. If I saw any male friend or relative post this on Facebook I'd be horrified. I don't get why it's funny for a guy to be in this state
PenisShapedPoops
"None is ok", plus even if were worried about who is "stronger" these women probably hit other women. It's enabling bad violent behavior.
squip
As a previously abused BF, thank you for this.
dopamine14
:( I'm sorry you experienced that.
squip
Thank you. I just wish men weren’t everyone’s favourite punching bag in our society these days.
jqdao3
same
squip
Sorry man :( I hope you're doing ok now
jqdao3
yes much better :) I'm gay now.
squip
Grats? ;) Seriously though, glad you're doing well
SJohnson23
“It’s all okay or none of it is okay” - because nuance, context and rejection of extremes are for wimps.
DisgruntledFerret
If the nuance here is "it's okay to hurt men" or "women can only be victims, not victimizers", I think we can do without nuance.
SJohnson23
Do either of those sound like nuanced viewpoints?
perceptualmotion
why the fuck did you add "Either it's all okay"? YOU LOSE ALL CREDIBILITY OF CARING ABOUT THE ISSUE AND JUST SOUND LIKE YOU WANNA GET BACK!
perceptualmotion
btw, of course the original post is a real issue. domestic abuse is never funny. view on men in paternity, emotions etc still need change.
imadethiswheniwastooyoungshootme
This is fucked up on so many levels. The fact that so many people get away with shit like this is infuriating
DirtRagFartStain
People who hit their significant other are trash. But lmao. "I thought it was funny until now," so he didn't feel traumatized, posted a (1)
Biocurious
Nope, sometimes it takes time to process trauma. The human mind doesn't like to be uncomfortable, we minimize/disengage to cope. He's normal
DirtRagFartStain
pic of him mugging on FB, laughed it off, then months later joins the MRA crusade when he gets offended by what he sees on social media. Now
DirtRagFartStain
we're supposed to treat him like a victim? That's not what a victim does, he knew it then and he knows it now.
Chronagos
Just goes to show that gender roles are so damn harmful to men too.
treadwords
Fuck off with that feminist bullshit. Honestly.
youcanrelaxaroundme
If he pressed charges she would be in trouble. Men let it slide bc society says theyre weak for being vulnerable. If men fought just as hard
youcanrelaxaroundme
To be taken seriously, things might change. Society is fucked for both sexes. Don't bring feminism into this. We don't condone violence
Marxercist
Feminism created this environment where men can not even call the police without risking prison time even when they did nothing.
youcanrelaxaroundme
I think men helped too by centuries of spousal abuse by beating and raping their wives. It was looked at as normal, now women r speaking up
youcanrelaxaroundme
You can't blame women 4 being the victims.blame the prodominatly male ran justice system for automaticly taking their side n overcompensatin
youcanrelaxaroundme
Sure does suck having to fight for your rights just bc of your sex doesn't it?
Marxercist
If only that was history right? Oh, it is. Also you act as if every man beat women.
youcanrelaxaroundme
No i don't. Lemme stop you there, the whole "but not all men..." Argument is not one I'm going to entertain. So painfully typical. OBVIOUSLY
youcanrelaxaroundme
Since you want to blame someone,try looking at the chauvenistic society that tells men to keep quiet so they don't look like,"girly men"
Tknuckles1
I broke up with my ex cus she hit me. Sad part is, i missed her for a year, and concidered going back to her.
BreadyStinellis
That's abuse for ya!
Tknuckles1
Oh, i'm over it now. I moved across country after we split, and had a rough go at first. Things are good now, and i know she's toxic.
Ryukaa
Don´t. Always remember the clarity Fap!
Biocurious
:( you're not alone. it's hard to undo all the manipulation stemming from a toxic/abusive relationship. Love is respecting boundaries
DamnedAustin
I'm sure this will land me in the deepest depths of the bad replies section, but while I agree that situations like this are totally (1)
DamnedAustin
fucked up, there's a certain percentage of people who, for whatever reason, believe that women or feminism are to blame for the outdated (2)
treadwords
Feminism has persistently insisted that women are always victims and men are aggressors, or if men are victims it's pretty much their fault.
DamnedAustin
I believe you're generalizing where feminism doesn't.
treadwords
It's not a generalisation. They have persistently insisted that.
DamnedAustin
You'll need to be more specific than that. I'm sure, since it's so common, you should be able to provide a source or two.
DamnedAustin
social standards that lead to this type of situation. I'm NOT saying that women are blameless, but I am saying that acting like this is (3)
DamnedAustin
the result of some anti-male scheme by women is patently ridiculous. (4/4)
turelhimvampire
Now this I agree with. Abuse from any party is a crime. The intricacies of the situation and the severity of the punishment is... (1)
turelhimvampire
...to be discussed in a court of law and decided on by a jury of peers. The problem with society at the moment is the first part... (2)
KrytenKoro
It's due to both. Patriarchal views of women internalized by women and men, as well as forms of feminism with chips on their shoulder teachi
KrytenKoro
Ng that men deserve it - usually followed by shallow teenagers who haven't thought very hard about what it means to be feminist and think it
BreadyStinellis
Exactly. This all stems from women being viewed as weak and incapable. It's not good for anyone.
treadwords
No it stems from the fact that women are seldom ever reproached for abuse.
IWishIWereNotAllergicToCats
TBF I think everyone probably reacted like that because he did. Nobody has an obligation to feel like a victim. If you get hit and you can \
blaskHitBeast
Good point, as long as he ditched her it was all gonna be funny anyhow. Im personally sick of the nonsense of men Vs women spewed.
IWishIWereNotAllergicToCats
laugh about it then more power to you! Doesn't make the person who hit him any less of a piece of shit though, of course!
Monkeybone0
I think its this whole "men shouldn't hit women" thing is part of the problem. The real lesson to teach people is "no one has the right 1/2
ADisturbedOne
No matter what your gender is, hit a person is wrong. Defense if necessary. But otherwise.. don't hit people, or even kids.
FortheChellofit
Especially with children.
orginelenaam
You should use not use more force than necessary to defend yourself, as women are (on average) weaker than men, this means men should 1/2
orginelenaam
use less violence to defend themselves (on average), so I think that is where this sentiment comes from. Hitting a 120 lbs woman in the 2/?
orginelenaam
face is wrong, because you can just restrain her without hurting her 3/3 (sorry, can't count to 3).
boskonetwo
No. The defender has the right to use at last as much relative force as the attacker. If someone doesn't like it, avoid using force.
Monkeybone0
If we're stronger than women why provoke us through physical altercation? Why cross that line? Is it because they believe we have restraint?
Monkeybone0
A grizzly bear is physically stronger than I am but I don't go in the woods and smack one in the face because I'm pissed.
ThisCommentWillGetMeBannedAgain
Definitely not twice...
AmatureSpaceCowboy
Assgaurdian
It's because of the fact that most men wouldn't do anything in fear of looking bad.
jibbbabbabachd
I don't understand that, I've been hit by a girl and I dropped the dumb bitch. Them being weaker is irrelevant, that doesn't buy you
jibbbabbabachd
anywhere near as much leeway if it were a weaker guy attacking you. If you don't want to get hit don't initiate physical altercations.
Monkeybone0
to hit you". Doesn't matter what gender. It's an act of disrepect that you could never take back.
ToastMasterLex
You're right; but it's specified by gender because the majority of violent crimes are unfortunately committed by males.
Mdp2525
I take your point but gender does matter. The whole reason why we say “don’t hit women” is that it is perfectly legal to in many countries>
Mdp2525
And was in the US generations ago. Women had to fight for legal protection that wasn’t given. Men should have justice too but let’s face >
Mdp2525
it, it’s ok to mention gender disparities otherwise, you cannot gain justice.
Girtouh
"HOW CAN SHE SLAP?!"
perceptualmotion
agree with the sentiment but i think this is just a historical relic, keep in mind women were (and still are in some places) men's property.
treadwords
It's not a relic. Boys are still told they shouldn't hit girls and respect them whereas girls are told the opposite.
perceptualmotion
to clarify, i meant the typical DV mantra is dont hit your wife, and historical context is a part of the explanation. not condoning it.
perceptualmotion
girls are told to not respect and hit boys? where do you live? there can be more emphasis on all DV being bad, i agree.
treadwords
Planet Earth. Honestly what's a girl gonna think when she can hit and berate a boy whilst he can't? She's gonna think it's OK.
perceptualmotion
there's a difference between being told to do something and what you are saying now, i dont know if you are being deliberately obtuse or you
perceptualmotion
just want to try to annoy me into a stupid argument. either way, im not biting, i dont think this convo is going anywhere.
Allrighty
The fact that he thought it was funny and posted a smiling selfie doesn't exactly help. He himself contributed to the double standard.
PreachItSigard
Sometimes it takes time to recognize your own behavior.
FearMeMeow
Who’s the other dude there? I mean. That looks like fresh blood, was this other guy watching and then they all smiled and took a selfie? :/
Marxercist
Victim blaming
Ireallydontknowwhattowritedownhere
I can't understand how it was considered funny in the first place..
YourLordNSavior
We’re growing as a society however there are still many people who think messed up shit like this
Ireallydontknowwhattowritedownhere
sauvemonkey
It's easier to just assume everyone is stupid instead of trying to understand the things they do.
gecko08
Societal conditioning.
Ireallydontknowwhattowritedownhere
Yeah something to do with guys being (having to act? ) strong and girls not hitting (hard) I guess
damienxwaltz
his expression and the way he captioned it probably
horsethanwitler
"dude - you got owned by a *girl*" - stereotyping/toxic-masculinity/etc
lizthestarfish
Endorphins + head injury does weird shit, man.
TwoDogsInABathtub
The less cutesy or lovable something is, the less likely people will care and in some case find funny things that would normally be obscene
bananahost
I don't think it's an equality thing - more like "look bitch I am still standing" in-your-face-type-of-deal
xbiu
If it's not fatal, strong people tend to laugh the scrapes.
drakkennur
An entire crowd of women laughed ON a TV show at a man being castrated by his wife FOR NO REASON https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUna51rI_eQ
BreadyStinellis
1. This show is hot garbage. 2. Remember Lorena bobbit? Male talkshow hosts made fun of her and him for months. Tragedy can be comedy.
drakkennur
Nobody has ever gone on American TV and laughed like that at a woman getting beat or mutilated, least of all by their spouse.
BreadyStinellis
I'm not saying there isn't a double standard. I'm saying tragedy +time = comedy and not to take it too seriously.
ClubberLaing
It's funny because she can't actually hurt you. If you have ever had a woman try to fight you its absolutely pathetic.
SpeakerForTheUnLiving
I've seen and know plenty of women who could kick most men's asses. For fucks sake go look at female UFC fighters. If you think having a>
ClubberLaing
Take the best ranked female and put her in with the best worst ranked male at her weight. she will get destroyed.
SpeakerForTheUnLiving
penis makes you stronger than anyone without you're wrong.
NotTheSharpestSpoonInTheDrawer
When we are faced with an uncomfortable reality and someone gives us the opening to laugh it off instead of facing it, we tend to do so
Cheesecakecrush
People who are uncomfortable can have varied reactions to such stimuli. Laughter, especially when the victim thought it was funny at the
Cheesecakecrush
time, really isn't that surprising.
YouOweMeADownvote
My ex once clotheslined me and followed up with a People's Elbow. I reported the assault, but nothing came if it.
Chandler920
Shit! Who are these women?
LetsTalkGameDesign
You don't report it. You interrupt the next time your ex is with someone else with a steel chair and book it for the pay-per-view.
freddiespaghetti
Tables ladders and hair match
squip
Fuck me my sides...
metalfoto
Crazy stories here..
butlerfetish
Assault is a assault regardless of the perpetrator's gender. Equal rights means equal repercussions.
WardSharlow
That's like saying that shooting somebody is the same as punching them. It makes sense to judge assault based on intended or possible harm.
WardSharlow
It's shitty and unfair, but my wife could come full-force at me with murder in her heart, and her tiny fists wouldn't do a damned thing.
WardSharlow
I, on the other hand, could very seriously injure her with one punch. This has to be considered, even if it isn't "fair."
PreachItSigard
When you look at that picture, would you even think a woman punched him? Clearly we are capable of real harm. Your anecdote proves nothing.
WardSharlow
I'm sure many women are capable of real harm, but acting like you're all cage-fighting death-bringers conflicts with reality.
butlerfetish
Well, that's an interesting read of what I said. You have that going for you.
4kdongs
Uh duh
butlerfetish
You'd think, but just read the other comments.
lactatingbulge
Abusers can be male or female. It's never ok. I'm not sure in today's society anyone thinks it's ok to assault someone.
treadwords
Clearly people think it's OK for women to abuse men; as they're seldom reproached for doing so.
lactatingbulge
More men need to start pressing charges then instead of giving into toxic masculinity that's told them to shut up and take it.
treadwords
They don't press charges bc police won't believe them; even if it goes to trial he'll likely get nothing from it; + he has no shelter 2 go 2
treadwords
And it is feminists who have told them to 'shut up and take it' as men can't be victims + saying otherwise negates female victims by defaul.
lactatingbulge
Not the feminists. Their fathers, brothers and friends have unfortunately done that to them. The patriarchy hurts everyone.
lactatingbulge
And i fucking hate using the term "patriarchy". But here it's needed and true.
treadwords
Yes it is the feminists and please spare that incredibly gross and insulting lie about the patriarchy.
MikeSmith1370
I'm a dude. I don't care that my wife couldn't do any real damage that I couldn't prevent. If she attacked me for real, that would end it 1/
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GreaterDog
Wife has hit me twice in our 10 year relationship, pain from knowing she would even consider it was much worse than the pain she caused.
MikeSmith1370
Yeah, it's not that it actually dies significant physical damage. It's the principle of the matter. I'm not suggesting you leave, but 1/
MikeSmith1370
You should definitely address it (and it sounds like you might be doing that already). Either way, I'm glad you take it seriously.
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itsnotaraisin
Wait. What? I think you know what to do. We are here for you.
Supernova792
Get out of there
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porciniman
Tiger Woods knows just how you feel... https://imgur.com/oKUOK79
IWantToUseAHyphenInMyName
You seriously believe your wife couldn't gravely injure you if she chose to?
keithwhiteee
She would probably fuck you up worse than most men would!
TrustedxProfessional
If she's at least man sized
WardSharlow
With a weapon, I guess.
MikeSmith1370
Oh definitely. Just not in a physical one on one without any extra accessories. As strong as she is, she's no match against me physically.
MikeSmith1370
Sometimes though, that's the problem. Guys tend to shrug it off even though they shouldn't. Again, it's the principle of the matter.
lafire67
Most women use poison, just a heads up.
MikeSmith1370
Very true. I have no doubt if my wife wanted me dead, not only would I disappear, but she's clever enough to get away from it. In the 1/
MikeSmith1370
meantime, however, many women attack men cuz they think they can get away with it and unfortunately, many times they do.
snurx
Grab, rotate 180 degrees, pull like you're starting a lawn mower.
HSolidSnakeH
MikeSmith1370
for us. And vice versa. You don't physically attack those you love. Plain and simple. Gender doesn't and SHOULDN'T matter.
JapAnus
Unless you're having a lightsaber battle. I want to point that out as the one exception.
BigSnicker
It's funny. It's super easy to say that before anything happens, but when it starts slowly you find yourself forgiving all kinds of things.
BigSnicker
I always thought I had the same red line, yet found myself essentially a battered husband after years of making excuses. All good now.
Comet260
If my SO EVER hit me, the relationship would end right on the spot.
ArvisJaggamar
"You don't physically attack those you love" should probably be top comment on all posts like these.
youtellmedothingsidoneRUNNIN
Not to be critical, but this is spoken exactly like someone who's never found themselves in that situation. shit's complicated.
MikeSmith1370
I read through your other comments at first to see where you were going with this. For starters, you certainly can't assume I or anyone 1/
MikeSmith1370
hasn't been in that situation. I had an ex that slapped me once. Not the same as a beating, but highly inappropriate given it was completely
MikeSmith1370
Unwarranted. You have a point that situations can be more nuanced than the black and white picture I painted, but the principle of not 3/
pesticidefree
Did you slap her back?
Monkeybone0
I've grown up in a family of marital abuse. It's pretty hard to accept an apology after first one. You're supposed to protect those you love
youtellmedothingsidoneRUNNIN
I'm very sorry to hear that. I'm by no means saying that anyone should simply tolerate physical abuse, just stating that there are, at times
youtellmedothingsidoneRUNNIN
complicating factors. what happens if your spouse develops a split personality disorder in 5 years? If they're torn and they lash out?
rabbiebabbie
Agreed. It's more than just a red flag it's a glaring personality flaw that ain't going away cause you love them extra hard
MikeSmith1370
Exactly.
Mountaineer30680
You sir, deserve an upvote!
Monkeybone0
Yup. There's a line couples should never cross and physical abuse is one of them.
MikeSmith1370
100% agree.
Miridarna
Violence is wrong. Doesn't matter against whom. There is never reason to strike another person, unless it is legitimately in defense. *hugs*
thepicklebucket
I don't like being hugged.
Miridarna
Good thing its text on the internet then, eh?
inodog
It shows that women aren't taken seriously, like a puppy bite through skin, you don't take it srsly but once you beat the puppy it's a no
inodog
Truthfully most women are too scared to hit a man, afraid they would be hit back so if you go into a loose mind state,violent outbreak that
inodog
Fear disappears, what did you do to make her so angry? I think right away, you wouldn't date a violent wrench normally so something happened
BreadyStinellis
I was with you in that first comment, but you're tanking hard with that victim blaming. Jesus, man.
Danmanbadman
So, this is a case where it’s ok to blame the victim?
inodog
Is what I think
parsious
wow what an asshole you are .. im really kinda glad i don't know you
turelhimvampire
Then you are part of the problem. Don't be part of the problem.
peanutbuttermashedpotatoes
My brother hit his ex in the face once cause she pulled a knife on him. He's the one that got arrested and she pressed charges :(
memeologees
That's unfair
portmanteau79
you could say she brought a knife to a "gun" fight.... i'm sorry...
owlest
but according to feminists on imgur that never happens
youaresoverywrong
that's fucked up. Everyone should have the right to defend themselves from abuse. T_T
CalebChandler
This happened to me also. I called cops with a busted lip and torn shirt. She says i hit her (no marks on her) and i wemt straight to jail.
atechnicnate
This is how my friend wound up in jail. She hit him a bunch then came after him with a knife.
DaDisser
Equality
SwedishRationalist
Reminds me of a quote from The Red Pill: "I don't know how many times a man has told me that 'she stabbed me and they put me in jail'".
Pawnderlust
I was surprised when I witnessed a dom dispute in public & the woman was arrested. Cop explained it that 2 ppl can fight as long as it's
Pawnderlust
Mutual but once someone is down and unable to fight back and the other keeps going that's assault. Woman kicked guy while he was in fetal ps
TheBlackVan
She was kicking him while he was in the fetal position amd you were surprised she went in? Was it mutual up to that point?
Pawnderlust
Yes they were both fighting each other. Punching pulling hair etc. Up against our glass storefront window at work
peanutbuttermashedpotatoes
Huh. Makes sense
Leevalleyoftheshadowofdeath
And if it were reversed she'd be called brave
IrishManD
Correct
PennFifteen
She is brave for using a knife. Lesser woman would use a gun.
DaDisser
nigga.
PennFifteen
.aggin
Minkaf
Ye because getting a gun is so easy haha
Minkaf
/s
darkweb
This shit frustrates me
peanutbuttermashedpotatoes
Frustrates me too. Especially since she has a history of mental illness and threatening to hurt herself
Memorablename1
tbh if u think about its it makes a lot of sense, men generally are much stronger than women mentally & physically.
AngryBaboon
Yes, generalize everyone in situations that can be life or death and forget that one gender can do anything wrong because biologically they
AngryBaboon
they are *supposedly* weaker than men. (Asterixs on supposedly because a lot of women are stronger than men)
pandorafalters
TIL assumptions & generalities ARE a good excuse for injustice.
IAlwaysUpvoteBirdies
Is there a law saying man can't hit a woman in self defense?
TheBlackVan
Unfortunately, Self defense is a "Defense against Prosecution." You will have an opportunity to argue after charges are filed. Sucks, but...
JeezusJuice
Nope. But one’d need an awful lot of evidence to prove it necessary. It seems many courts would punish a guy for punching a girl based on 1/
JeezusJuice
The amount of damage dealt per blow. In some sense, it’s logical because you base decisions on physical evidence and a minor bruise vs a 2/
JeezusJuice
Fractured orbital socket offers a narrative, albeit potentially false. The point is: men are expected to do all they can to walk away first.
peanutbuttermashedpotatoes
She had a bloody nose. I saw the picture of her directly after and the one the cops took since she stupidly posted it to facebook. There's
cubsfanman22
You gone and messed up A-A-Ron
YouDunMessdUpAAron
I feel weirdly relevant to this comment..
cubsfanman22
Lol
Assgaurdian
It's not weird. It's pretty self explanatory.
annibe11e
She was threatening suicide and he hit her. Yes, you go to jail for that.
peanutbuttermashedpotatoes
So the other alternatives are getting hurt trying to get the knife away from her or letting her hurt herself?
annibe11e
Yes. Or she may not hurt herself, as it sounds like manipulation. Or calling the police.
misfit119
Yep! Intervention will be treated like a crime in some situations. It's intensely stupid. And leads to bystander syndrome.
peanutbuttermashedpotatoes
No kidding. So he lets her hurt herself and potentially gets arrested for murder cause "why didn't he stop her?"
annibe11e
That's not how the law works.
TheBlackVan
Let her cut herself and pass out from blood loss. When she's unconscious, you have implied consent to aid her.
timemac
My uncles ex wife would beat on him often, one night neighbors called the police cause they heard fighting & he was the one who got arrested
memeologees
:(
DangerSmoog
This is the most likely always the situation. even if the dude purely was calling to be protected he has a chance of just being kicked out
RacingToRedLights
I got kicked out of a bar after my friends sister(high on cocaine) punched me in the face over a disagreement. I took it "like a man" then..
RacingToRedLights
had a guy insist he saw me hit her first on the way out(not true) and a bunch of people jumped on that train and started threatening me...
RacingToRedLights
my friend texted me saying I was a piece of shit and said everyone saw me do it. I left feeling like trash. Her sister eventually came clean
RacingToRedLights
told the truth and said I never hit her, and my friend tried to reconcile our relationship but it was pretty traumatic. Getting punched was
Shamwowser
One of my best friends beat his step father(sf) because sf was beating his mom and he could hear the screams at night. My friend got jailed.
animatronicvelcrorat
I hit my step father with a baseball bat for the same reason. And this is why I graduated from safe school...
timemac
Damn, that's terrible. Domestic situations can be so complicated. There are so many instances when the wrong person is being protected
Wolokos
Did the mom testify?
Shamwowser
Well she was a bit of a druggie and the step father was an enabler and would probably try to do worse things to her somehow.
jsktrogdor
The Violence Against Women Act has language which recommends local PD SOP be to automatically detain the man in all domestic violence calls.
jsktrogdor
It's really unfair, but it's also saved a lot of women's lives. So... y'know... that's a thing or whatever.
timemac
I definitely understand. It's a complicated issue.
jsktrogdor
At this point I'd consider it a win if an interaction with US police doesnt end with you or a pet being murdered by them.
jsktrogdor
lol, I love that my bold stance of "that's a thing or whatever" has gotten me to -7. Fuck you imgur.
DiceyBusiness
There's a difference between separating the man & woman for safety sake, and just automatically arresting/charging the man.
jsktrogdor
How would you suggest the police enforce a mandatory psychical separation of a couple without detaining either party?
philosoraptor1000
How many men live silently as abuse victims because of the wording in this law though?
Sourceisalie
A lot of places in the US and Canada either follow the Duluth model or mimic it.
DiceyBusiness
I Just read it. It's literally Feminist ideological crap designed to use the law as a weapon against men. Disgusting and inappropriate.
peanutbuttermashedpotatoes
So stupid. He's the one that called the cops. Why in the hell would he call the cops on himself if he was actually the aggressor
parsious
the overwhelming issue with this is basic sexism. remember folks if your male you cant be abused. Sad, yes. Incorrect, yes. sadly accurate
Ealadon
See back to the first two words of your post.
RdizzyC
This does actually happen, the aggressor will call the cops for this very purpose, to be the first person to file charges, to seem innocent.
peanutbuttermashedpotatoes
Huh I guess that could be true. She filed charges against him. Then proceeded to text his ex, who he's been having issues with over their
peanutbuttermashedpotatoes
Kid, also who she claims to hate, and tell her what happened. I think she's just trying to cause trouble
DiceyBusiness
Except it's pretty common to arrest the guy automatically, so it's not a very clever idea.
TheBlackVan
I wouldn't say "automatically." If charges can be filed, it's usually on the man. But charges are not filed automatically.
Steelhart
That sucks. USA? Normally they have to take SOMEONE to jail in a DV call. He must have been deemed the aggressor. Unless he volunteered.
Sourceisalie
If the follow the Duluth model in the area he is automatically the aggressor based on being a male.
peanutbuttermashedpotatoes
Canada. He's the one that called the cops. They didn't even get the story. Just arrested him
GreaterDog
Dispatch probably just told them it was a DV dispute and sent them the address. Cops deal with so many BS stories on the spot that they
GreaterDog
probably didn't even care to listen. Man = automatic arrest, easy out.
peanutbuttermashedpotatoes
I hope that's all it was for his sake
ItMayBeHelpfulToNote
Agreed, knight out a few weeks back (wearing a kilt), some woman behind me had her hand right up my kilt, turn those tables!?
IamMelonLordeYaYaYa
Turn those tables? Sexual assault and rape are prosecuted next to never
BreadyStinellis
Exactly. Get told you shouldn't have worn that.
IamMelonLordeYaYaYa
Hell the Steubenville boys were ON VIDEO raping a girl and the judges and entire town wanted them to get off Scott free
LearnSomething
I mean, that's some bullshit, yea. But if you think that doesn't happen to women all the fucking time, you're in for a surprise.
annaZon
I think the difference is MOST people would say it's not okay to do that to women, but fewer would say the same for men.
LearnSomething
I don't agree at all. Most people would say that's not okay to do that to anyone.
ItMayBeHelpfulToNote
I know guys who have been kicked about by security for much less, but if I reported it they would laugh it off and wrap knuckles .
Ryang256
I've always felt this is a consent issue. I had an older woman (by ~10 years) feel me up at a party once. I didn't mind & kinda liked it. 1/
ItMayBeHelpfulToNote
I would be the first to agree, it did not feel sexy at all being caught from behind with a (cold, very inexperienced) hand on baws
Ryang256
Was what she did wrong? If I'd said no then absolutely. But I didnt. Women are more likely to say no to something like that. Does it mean 2/
perceptualmotion
not arguing with what you're saying but i know many women who dont wanna kick up a fuss and it happens a lot more for them is my guess.
Ryang256
a man doing this to a woman is doing something wrong?? If she lets him then no. But getting her consent?? Not as likely as with a male.
booboobabybox
Women have to deal with constant threat of retaliation/violence if they reject a man. There are lots of reasons a woman wouldn’t say “No”
booboobabybox
Complication for women. We have to prioritize self preservation.
booboobabybox
Outright but still not consent to something like that. You seem to understand it’s wrong to do regardless but it adds another layer of
definitelynotawolf
I was at a football game a few months ago and these two girls in line behind me kept grabbing my ass. I told them to stop three times, 1/2
definitelynotawolf
They wouldn’t. A couple of women in front of me noticed and offered to let me cut ahead of them after I loudly said “could you not!” and 2/3
definitelynotawolf
And the two girls just giggled and claimed they weren’t doing anything. This was like two weeks after the #metoo movement started.
PreachItSigard
As someone who as a young teen had a very bad habit of grabbing butts. I am really sorry you had to endure that despicable act.
definitelynotawolf
As a guy it was more annoying than anything, I never felt threatened like a woman would in that situation. It’s that a man would be arrested
chetpancakes
This isolated incident where you didn't report anything to the authorities totally invalidates the entire #MeToo movement, you're right.
definitelynotawolf
Oh yeah that was totally my point. Fuck off troll I’m totally against sexual harassment anywhere to anyone
adadsupreme
Right now we are effectively teaching men that violence against women is wrong in the US, and doing nothing to teach women the same.
JojaColaTastesLikeDirt
It’s worth pointing out that young women are becoming increasingly violent as well in the US.
parsious
the sad part about all this is we should not have to teach either group this lesson
adadsupreme
I agree. It’s a wish in one hand, shit in the other situation though. Preventing the problem would be ideal.
adadsupreme
According to the CDC there has been a steady decline in instances of M on F violence, and a steady increase in F to M.
Ryang256
Because F's are being taught they can get away with it while Ms are being taught you will always end up in jail.
damienxwaltz
and that's the sad truth.
adadsupreme
I don’t think women are being taught that, it’s that men don’t get access to the same services or support. (Socially or judicially).
adadsupreme
It should be about bettering our society and our relationships, not keeping score like a goddamned child.
Ryang256
True. The problem is a score is necessary to prove there is an issue of inequality that needs to be fixed.
adadsupreme
Not what I meant precisely. Data is important. Whining about men’s rights is counterproductive.
ferretsandtgirlsshowmewhatyougot
Keeping records of it shows the pattern is reversing. That's not childish. That's just data collection we need.
adadsupreme
I’m not talking about data collection. I’m talking about MR activists whining like babies about inequality, and then doing nothing.
ferretsandtgirlsshowmewhatyougot
Ok that makes sense. You're first msg can be a little easy to misinterpret but that's 140 chars for yah lol.
perceptualmotion
i agree but...it sounds like you're keeping a lot of score here...hehe
adadsupreme
I’m referencing an increasingly annoying trend here and on other social media platforms of men rights advocates whining about things.
perceptualmotion
i suspected that was what you meant, i was just kidding.
adadsupreme
http://www.saveservices.org/2012/02/cdc-study-more-men-than-women-victims-of-partner-abuse/
demosthenes89
Your source says M to F declined, but F to M stayed the same. Rates are now approximately equal.
demosthenes89
"This drop in intimate partner violence against females and steady rate of violence against males raises an interesting policy question."
adadsupreme
Right. The women caught up to the men. They met in the middle.
demosthenes89
As far as percentages yes, but there hasn't been an increase in violence against men.
LionHeart31337
Damn. You have been veeeeeery busy shit posting and finding what area to pander to on imgur. Seems you’ve found your mark!
squip
He’s voicing a view that, while shared by many, is widely mocked and vilified in our media and culture.
squip
The downvotes on this comment punctuate my point.
TheDogEnd
No they don't. Up/downvotes on Imgur have nothing to do with the salience or accuracy of an argument
squip
Yeah, they do in this case, as the statement was simple and the downvoting has a pretty obvious reason.
BreadyStinellis
Mocked? Sometimes, yes. Vilified? Absolutely not. I question whether or not you know what that word means.
squip
I know precisely what it means, and yes, vilified holds, as I see it quite frequently, and hear it. Just merely whisper about men's /1
squip
By the way, you CLEARLY have no idea what "absolutely" means. HINT: Your experience isn't the same as everyone's.
squip
issues online and in most forums you'll get either mocked, or outright vilified for even suggesting men have legitimate issues.
KrytenKoro
Glad we have you to defend the abusers, tho.
LionHeart31337
Ahhh yes. Calling someone a shit poster and pandering to what makes imgur neckbeards dick hard is defending assault? Look at his posts bitch
KrytenKoro
In this post? Yes. You are literally criticizing a guy for posting about a male abuse victim.
KrytenKoro
What's more, you are calling people "neckbeards" and belittling them for being outraged at someone being assaulted. That's disgusting.
KrytenKoro
Look, I'm a feminist, and I can speak from experience that the community would rake an MRA across the coals if they interrupted a discussion
KrytenKoro
about a female survivor of abuse to talk about how the victim was just trying to "stoke outrage".
Illamanatus
1/2 If someone, man or woman, hits you with the intent to hurt you, I believe hitting them back shouldn't be villianised, regardless of...
Illamanatus
2/2 your gender. If I hit someone I would fully expect them to hit me back. Equality should be equal. Equal pay, equal prison sentences.
orginelenaam
So if a woman half your size hits you and you can restrain her without hurting her, it's still ok to deck her in the face?
AmatureSpaceCowboy
YES.
Gamerboy11116
Falcon PUNCH
joesmith369
"Don't start no shit, won't be no shit, but if shit gets started don't take no shit!"
KrytenKoro
Yes. Don't fucking assault someone if you don't want to risk injury.
Illamanatus
If I hit a man double my size I would fully expect to get decked back. Don't hit someone unless you're willing to take the hit back.
ohheckyeahh
Why? Someone double size can easily restrain someone. If my cat bites me i don’t try to hurt her back
Illamanatus
Well yeah, but she's a cat, not an adult capable of the same reasoning you are. You don't hit cats for the same reason you don't hit kids.
textilelover
I get a lot of flak when I say stuff like that. Glad you're not.
annibe11e
Hitting back isn't self-defense, it's revenge.
Illamanatus
I know too many women who take advantage of the fact that men won't hit them back. I've had friends take genuine beatings because of it
ohheckyeahh
You run with a rough crowd
annibe11e
Leaving or restraining would be more appropriate. You don't have to engage with people like that.
Illamanatus
I never said you had to, I said you shouldn't be villianised for hitting someone back.
SirBrendan
It isn't feminists who mock violence against males. It's chauvinist bullshit. It is the view that females are inferior so aren't a threat.
treadwords
Feminists have persistently belittled male victims and shamed those who talk about male abuse as it diverts attention from female abuse
CyborgScribe
To be fair, there is a pretty nasty subset of radical feminists. But yeah like 95% are in the "sane" camp and opposed to violence.
RideTheStimutacs
It's also that men are supposed to be tough and shrug off everything. It's yet another symptom of a historically patriarchal society.
DoYouEvenCareAboutPeople
If you think you're a feminist and think it's ok to hit men, you aren't a feminist. Don't @ me with your "no true scotsman"-bs.
Minkaf
@
Ryang256
I think the word you're looking for is Misandrist.
DoYouEvenCareAboutPeople
Feminism isn't compatible with violence against men.
BreadyStinellis
Thank you. This is a prime example of toxic masculinity.
treadwords
And that men are toxic? Really dude? Really?
BreadyStinellis
No. Toxic masculinity doesn't mean rhat men are toxic. It's when the standard of masculinity, the... peer pressure and shit is toxic. That's
treadwords
So what are the non-toxic things feminists love so much about masculinity?
BreadyStinellis
Confidence/self assuredness, independence, individualism, athleticism. That's a few masculine traits I think all people admire.
BreadyStinellis
Why abused men being "laughable" is a great example. The standard creates a roxic environment
definitelynotawolf
You’re correct that it originated from male chauvinism, but there are certainly women who embrace that ideology and compound it
booboobabybox
Well yeah, assholes come from all creeds, colors, genders.
KrytenKoro
Jessica Wakeman claims to be a feminist and -absolutely- mocks male victims. We need to disavow the bad actors if we claim to be a moral mov
KrytenKoro
Event.
KrytenKoro
kind of interested to know who's downvoting a factual statement about an asshole who defends abusers and shames victims.
KrytenKoro
I'm assuming you're downvoting because you equate "criticized prominent feminist" with "anti feminist", which is exactly the fucking problem
KrytenKoro
with tribalism today. It's why we have shitheels like Trump -- because people would rather make sure they're pissing off their opponents
BreadyStinellis
Me too. You're absolutely right, and I am a feminist.
Sourceisalie
Duluth model was created by feminist and enforces the sterotype that men cannot be victims
SirBrendan
The Duluth model is heavily criticized by many within the feminist and psychiatric fields. It is feminist theory, but it's heavily political
SirBrendan
(3) There are are also communists who advocate nationalism and black civil rights activist groups which advocate black supremacy
SirBrendan
(2) I should clarily, there are feminists who advocate chavanist ideas (TERFs for example). Also, some advocate misandry.
SirBrendan
(4) it's not that these extreme don't exist but that they should not be held as representative of the larger whole or theoretical frame.
Sourceisalie
Alright so why are all MRA evil? Why did feminist used a quote from an MRA article on what is not acceptable in the forms to represent them
Sourceisalie
that was simply trying to show both sides of the story. The movie wasn't even out and yet they were calling it anti-women. 3
Sourceisalie
Before you say no one is saying they are evil explain why feminist tried to shut down a documentary that was created by a feminist 2
Sourceisalie
Explain why the media got caught making direct criticisms of a movie they admitted they never watched. These people aren't the fringe. 4
SirBrendan
While inequalities exist against men, MRAs have tended to be a hotbed of revisionism, apologetics, and misogyny. It's a false equivalence.
Sourceisalie
Where did you get that information? Did the feminist trying to ban a movie they never saw tell you that?
Sourceisalie
All you people do is spit out bullshit buzz words when you fully admit you have no fucking clue what they believe. 2
Sourceisalie
Maybe educate yourself instead talking out of your ass? 3
SkrattleSnek
It's feminists who mock violence against males, mate. You don't get to decide they aren't feminists because you don't like what they say.
shitsonfireyodotjpeg
This poor guy deserves justice just as much as any woman does. He was assaulted and his ex should face the consequences.
hypermusic
anti-feminists/''men's rights activists'' have always mocked female victims and they're never held accountable for it.
treadwords
Source.
SkrattleSnek
So what? I think creating hell for female victims (doesn't happen anyway) until male victims are treated with as much care is a good tactic.
BreadyStinellis
You think wrong
SkrattleSnek
You think wrong.
shitsonfireyodotjpeg
I’m a feminist and I take domestic violence very seriously regardless of gender. People don’t have the right to assault their partners.
SkrattleSnek
Then you're not a feminist.
bstain77
How so?
SkrattleSnek
Feminists fight for advantages that exclusively benefit women. They may pretend to care about men, but they don't fight to help them.