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Ive missed my dad dearly everday of the 14 months since he's passed. But i realized today that i hadnt thought about him in a few days and it made me sad. Is this part of the grief process?
sureasyourebornyourenevergoingtoseenounicorn
It comes and goes, it’s a normal, shitty part of the cycle
wobblecopterrrr
Yes, in my experience after all the seasons pass you start to realign, a tinge of guilt is normal, sorry about your pop <3
abradfield1
Eventually, you will have moments in which you forget he is dead. Death fucks with mind. #objectpermanence
bcm0139
It is in fact a huge part of the process. You got this, OP
ptothedubs
If your mom is still around, maybe send her some flowers every now and then. When I think about my grandpa, I send my grandma flowers.
Unwnssj
My father also died 14 months ago and I'm, like you, am also beginning to not think of him everyday. It's hard, but life does move on.
sandwichcolony
Would you think about your dad every day if he was alive?
RunsWithScizrs
Good point
Dannoboyo
You are remembering you need to feel sad. Someday you may remember that you do not need to feel sad to remember. It is kinder to the living.
SchwiftyGameOnPoint
Just because someone is not constantly on your mind does not mean they are forgotten. You love him and that's what matters most.
Nathanfake
I like this
Tomadzo
Everyone’s grief is different. It gets easier and that’s not a bad thing. It’s not your fault
butthurtnevergetsbetter
It's normal. Over time, he belongs more and more to your past. That's not you being bad, that's just him being gone.
itmfa666
My Son died in 2019. I feared this too, but I get daily reminders of him in the smallest of ways. A picture. A feeling. I don’t fear
itmfa666
forgetting him any more. So sorry for your loss.
ChaosSound
grief is like a ball in a box with a button, the ball starts out huge and hits the button all the time, but eventually the ball shrinks 1/2
ChaosSound
and hits the button less and less. The ball will always hit the button eventually, but ever as often as it did at the beginning.
JohnSmithterms
Yes. Its normal. Its been a decade for me and I still tear up thinking about my dad sometimes. Like right now. As a dad I just want 1/?
JohnSmithterms
My kids to be happy. And being sad for a few moments a year just makes me realise how happy and lucky I was. 2/2
CapoeiraClimber
Do you have kids? Because believe me, you'll think about him a lot when your kid does stuff, and you think 'Dad would love to see this"
pinklady1969
I lost my Mum and Dad and Husband in six years I have had to move on and accept they are no longer here. There's no timescale on grief x
MenloPart
I never thought that I would be able to live without Dad and then I realized that I was living without Dad and felt horribly.
MenloPart
Hang in there.
katyna31415
Soon, the memories you have will be the good times, and you'll be able to feel a bit happy again. It will be bittersweet.
twoamartist
kojenk
you arent forgeting them, the pain is just becoming such a part of you that you arent aware its there. It is though, and you can expect to
kojenk
be reminded of its presence in all sorts of ways over the years. Its part of acceptance but every now and then it will feel like yesterday
PhantomManPrebs
I lost my father in 2007 and to this day I still don't think it has completely hit me. Some days I'm fine, others it's like he's out working
PhantomManPrebs
It takes a while, but everyone process it different. I try to focus on the memories and morals he distilled in me. And that is how I honor
PhantomManPrebs
Him
ohhrosella
I was there & 4.5 years later i still feel that guilt - try to find ways to keep him alive thru stories, actions, life mottos & traditions
Gr8fldugisused
Lost my dad Oct 2018. Some days I’m inconsolable, some I smile, some pass without notice. The latter two are victories. It’s a process.
Rodltwo
It’s very normal. My Mom’s gone almost 3 years. After the initial death, the hardest adjustment I had was this part. Hang in there
Dastooooo
Oh man, my dad died when I was 12, and I felt so guilty when I realized the first day I hadn't thought about him. Nowadays, when I think
Dastooooo
about him, I just make an effort to close my eyes and hold on to the remembrance for a bit. Very cathartic. I'm 35 now.
Pattosaurus20xx
With time comes acceptance, but you'll always remember the best times. Like with the Jumper Cables.
Kelpie8
Yeah that’s normal. Then something happy or sad will happen and you’ll want to talk to him and it’ll hurt all over again.
Kelpie8
It’s a process but not a linear one. It’s okay to jump back to anger or sadness and then back to wherever. *hugs*
Cutthroatlemur
I bet your dad would be happy that his memory isn’t a constant burden anymore.
krslvsasuka101
After my dad died it weighed me down for years. Then I had a son. Made me think if I died I would prefer him to be happy and move on.
7hatsBollocks
Absolutely this.
ShamelessSeamus
This is how I'd want it. Like, don't forget me, but don't let me weigh you down.
SnailsAgainstTungstenSpheres
I had this same thought today. Dad died in July and I realized it wasn't fucking me up as bad the last few weeks. I think that's good
fbutt09
I bet your father would be proud of his offspring
NotQuiteTheRealSlimShady
You're starting to grow. Mourning is okay, but dwelling to the point of your own life screeching to a halt is exactly what he wouldn't want.
TiffPhoenix
I needed to hear this. I lost my mom in April of 2020 and my brother in March of 2021. I haven't been able to carry on with my life. Than
TiffPhoenix
Last part was supposed to be Thank you.
ASquirrelNamedLloyd
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom about that time as well, I couldn’t imagine what you’ve been through. <3
TiffPhoenix
I'm sorry for your loss as well!! Virtual hug sent your way!!
TheSunburntPenguin
It's called acceptance. Keep him in your heart, not your mind. Life must go on.
Willowknowsall
They slowly get further and further away, and that's a second sadness all in itself
BulletproofMarmalade
This. He wouldn't want you tormented for the rest of your days.
Doismellbacon
You're still here. He would want you to keep on! He lost his father at some point (I'm guessing). Hugs to you internet stranger.
spritely88
Great advice. Think of him as the boost you need when your energy is low not an anchor around your feet when you are trying to fly
ZAPZAPMOTHAFUCKA
Thank you .. I needed to hear this. We buried my grandmother a month ago, and granddad's funeral is tomorrow.
JayEnfield
My dad passed away 10 years ago now. I don't think about him super-often anymore... But he's always there for the important moments.
noway10
Lost a family member too early.The Jewish faith has a sentiment I’ve come to understand: life is for the living. Honor your Father but live.
pinklady1969
Yes your 100% right it's acceptance, life goes on regardless, it doesn't mean we still don't love and miss our love ones any less x
Indigoscott
I lost a friend recently. This is a really lovely way to think about moving on. Thank you
insomniac24x7
Sadly this is what will happen to all of us. People will stop thinking if you, life must go on
DiaryOfAFatKid
Well said, you can't live in the past. Can't bring back the dead. So why dwell on it?
PenchBoy
Because dwelling on it can give you good memories not just bad and the good can be ever so addictive. I'm not saying it's healthy though.
DiaryOfAFatKid
In this context, there is a difference between remembering & dwelling. Don't keep your attention in the past, but recall the good from it.
PenchBoy
I mean I've dwelt on past memories in this context. I still think some bad is good. But that's me personally.