TheirishNPC
175599
2801
90
Nov 2, 2021 8:05 AM
TheirishNPC
175599
2801
90
ReverseTrapTsukasa
notmyrealface
Their hate loses power when their religion does too.
TheEmeraldProphylactic
I mean, these dudes seem pretty good natured about it lol
theaccountformyporn
If people like the representation of evil more than your group, it may be time to find new friends.
flexstar
Djkb6718
God sure is a needy bitch. I figured an all powerful omnipresent being would be more chill.
KramitTheFrog
Saw a bumper sticker that unironically said "Jesus loves you, but I'm his favourite". Nothing sums up Christianity better than that.
JustAFlamingoInDisguise
100% would rather hug satan
JustAnotherVictimOfAmbientMorality
It's like "They Live" but it's the same thing on the posters whether you have the glasses on or not.
Jaqdakloun
Satan gives the warmest hugs.
MechKelly
Obey. No thanks.
TimeFoDat
If you actually followed the character Jesus from the bible, it wouldn't be bad advice. He mostly was about the "Golden" rule—Matthew 7:12.
TimeFoDat
It's supremely Ironic that so many "Christians" preach literally everything EXCEPT the actual teachings of Jesus. Literally anything but.
TheMershedPerderder
Jesus was a socialist.
thepuppeteer777
To be fair satan made them laugh.
Byttemos
The jesus guys look like they're good sports about it tho
TheFatAussieGuy
LachlanWare
I'm wondering why the christ brigade hasn't attacked satan yet. They could say its justified. XD
Betterbecauseofthem
I've come to realize that satanists are better people and better for society
VanZaiden
IDK why, but Satan looks like Jack Black
jherazob
ackerjaw
This was in Salem Massachusetts a couple years back. You can tell because that construction is done now.
zakisback
This is how it starts. Satan gives a hug, power, and whiskey, then a law degree. Then he gets you cocaine, hookers and you are a politician
zakisback
In that time, you serve as a marriage lawyer, then you go into corporate law and tax law. Once you are a politician, you cant get any lower
GodsWorkSon
"Faith" and "obedience" sounds like indoctrination to me. No thank you.
jherazob
That's because it is
Sheldonian
I mean "indoctrination" sounds exactly like what a religion does, so yeah
Jackthemayor
Jesus is pretty cool but his fanclub is full of assholes.
tanebot
"Jesus, save me from your followers."
Freeasabird2015
Jesus was an ordinary man. The bible was written by assholes (evil men).
CosmicTeapot
The word "obey" just...
pyroplumbus7
Obey and Pay
CallThisAUsername
It's their fetish.
drunkbs
theeAndikrist
9 members of the Phelps family, I see
NefariousGoop
Dang Christians and their God given telekinetic powers
GeneralWho
Xnamoes
/a/nrFDf6I
blissblush
Sounds kinky, but what's the safe word?
pyroplumbus7
Magic
Sheldonian
Buddha
EricPisch
Donate
patismaximus
szai
caCAO!
Swashbuckler101
Relocation
TheOneTrueZippy8
Nebuchadnezzar, but you have to pronounce it correctly.
blissblush
Throatwobbler Mangrove, yeah?
TheOneTrueZippy8
"Yacht", just as it's written.
YouMealyMouthedCrotchPheasant
Less of a word, more a phrase... "That'll be an ecumenical matter"
Whatdoyousaytoanicecupoftea
Feck off!
YouMealyMouthedCrotchPheasant
Why should I "believe", "follow", "obey" Jesus? Considering the church has promoted homophobia, misogyny and religious hatred.
tanebot
That's free thought, we don't approve of that round here.
SteamingTheCat
Don't forget pedophilia and straight up slavery
Sallavar
Because that's the church people, not Jesus.
NotaCPA
Aaannnddd racism
TheEmeraldProphylactic
You need to learn to separate the manifold untold sins from the institutional organisers of worldwide sinnery!
sundaymondayhippyday
Worldwide sinnerey sounds like a great name for a band….
TheEmeraldProphylactic
One of the less reputable members (probably the drummer) branches off to create Pedo Massacre (the experience)
ILikeChocolateAndRaspberries
Stop being a sheep and accept the lord as you shepard !
BallsDeepinaDragonscloaca
That's the church... Jesus would be crucified by His followers today.
CrossBetween
They are trying to attract more submissive fools to join their gang of brainwashees. That sign guy’s decorated hoodie is very ”cool”, btw.
YouMealyMouthedCrotchPheasant
I am amazed that the word "obey" isn't a giant flag for everyone. Why should I obey? Is Jesus a US cop? Are they going to shoot me?
Yupurineutah
CrossBetween
I believe the ”official” lie is that unless you obey, you won’t be admitted to ”Heaven”.
YouMealyMouthedCrotchPheasant
I mean we both can see the flaw with that. Let's just say that I've yet to see a 5* review on Yelp about the place.
CrossBetween
No need for reviews. Just believe. And unless you believe… well, you know: *access denied*
JhericFury
I mean, that's WBC, right? They're whole shtick is "God is a psychopath, follow all these rules, no matter how cruel,or you'll burn in hell"
herrcane
WBC is more "we're gonna say whatever it takes to piss you off so you do something we can sue you for and make bank"
Gosuamakenatek
Actually they're more like "god hates everyone and you're all going to hell no matter what so why are we even doing this we don't know!"
YouMealyMouthedCrotchPheasant
WBC are protestants, right? And that sectarian schism pretty much claims "life is shit, you are shit, all will be resolved in heaven"
Gosuamakenatek
Just based on what I've heard in their own words, they seem to think everyone is going to hell, possibly even them? It's all very weird.
YouMealyMouthedCrotchPheasant
Yup, that's protestantism. I could go into the history of the utterly tedious knox/luther/reformation, but nobody wants that.
rbudrick
No, don't follow their Jesus. Follow the one that said help the poor and love your neighbor. Fuck their Jesus.
NYC2BrklynCubz
Who, me?
danspratt90
What is this a rotoscope of?
rzlprnft
This gold
sporkulese
I was hoping for a Marilyn Monroe skirt over the subway vent thing, but still didn't disappoint.
drunkbs
sundaymondayhippyday
Both are captivating and lustful depictions- yum
Level21Magikarp
It puts the money in the basket
PurifiedByLakeMinnetonka
That’s JVN
MattDude
No, that's JFC
adamant
On a Davonne frame
Dacricket
That's totally JVN
decoycatfish
Uh that's quite clearly Jesus
adamant
ps238principal
"What does Jesus want me to do?" "Whatever our religious leader decides he says!"
Promethianfire
So like in the Bible where he says the most important things are to love God and love thy neighbor? "What? No he's more concerned about
Promethianfire
Gay folks and women with short hair!"
GravyEducation
Jesus wants you to
StigsMilwaukeeCousin
Somehow this is crispier than the original animation
popejubal
I think Jesus is downright amazing and I'm on board to follow him. But I'm not at all fond of what people keep saying he wants me to do.
emptyother
If there wasnt religion they would have found some other reason to follow their guy. Some people cant handle being leaderless.
TresusIbor
Cant handle thinking*
WateryTartan
and pay him $99.99 a month for your sins.
Sarpedan
let he who is without sin cash the first check
AntikytheraMechanism31415
Something about "whatever you hold true on earth i will hold true in heaven". Its a bullshit way of saying the church is law.
thebeastisin
Thats...thats not even remotely true, and greatly out of context
AntikytheraMechanism31415
Weird hey... because i have heard it spouted by church leaders my entire life.
thebeastisin
Church leaders also get things wrong. If a leader doesn't encourage you to check for yourself, don't trust them. The scripture is about
thebeastisin
The power of words have over your own life. If you declare it on earth, its recognized in heaven since the bible is about the power of 1/?
Sheldonian
Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it, drag it, drop it, zip - unzip it
Lock it, fill it, call it, find it, view it, code it, jam, unlock it
ABigFan22
My buddy Martin over here has about 95 things to say about that
VintageData
*political
WhatRaySay
*subject to change
youlovemeyouhateme
pyroplumbus7
Usually hate and kill; and by-the-way, disregard my commandments and life-teachings. Bastardize them to your will for control.
PantlessThunderGoose42
No, Jesus wants us to love everyone and not judge them. Anything else man’s interpretation.
obijan
What about all the happy fun loving murder and genocide in your holy book? Is that "out of context" ?
GeneralWho
Jesus' words of loving everyone and not judging them are passed down to us through...man's interpretation. You see the issue, surely?
GeneralWho
Man decided what to include and not to include in the modern Holy Bible. They decided what words to use to describe what Jesus said.
GeneralWho
Given what we know of humans and sin, can you REALLY say with a straight face that every human passed on Jesus' words exactly as they were
GeneralWho
meant to be understood? That somehow, none of them were affected or twisted by human nature? All of them perfectly, divinely transcribed?
PantlessThunderGoose42
Regardless, it seems like a good rule to follow.
drunkbs
SnarfyMcSnarferson
I'd rather not
Malinut
This runt, and others like him, soaks-up cash otherwise meant for good causes.
Thundermoe
Did you mean to say runt? Cuz I think that might have been a typo.
pocacoconut
C*
Thundermoe
*unt*
Neednoggle
My God, that dude is straight up fucking evil.
Scaramucci
Metal version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Q_cNjlyxAY
FairylandTrashCollector
The Austin Powers music fits well.
MyRespectableAlterEgo
I don’t believe in Satan or God, but this fuckin guy actually - for a second - makes me think “if there IS a devil, it’s this dickhead”
Yourpoliticalpartyisaterroristorganization
What the fuck ?
luxter7
Disturbing
Gosuamakenatek
Can we start calling this "biden derangement syndrome" yet? Cause between this and jan 6th, it sure seems like their brains broke.
ratfaceddog
Nah, it makes perfect sense to name a derangement syndrome after Trump. Like Lou Gehrig’s Disease.
Gosuamakenatek
Yeah, maybe we should just rebrand "trump derangement syndrome" against them since it was always more fitting for his supporters anyway.
isaypoopythingabecausemostofyouannoyme
What’s wild, is of all the religious folk, this guys looks like the closest reincarnation of a demon
LurkerOfDarkness
Oh it's not just the looks...
drunkenvulcan
I dunno man... you ever see Joel Osteen? Those teeth can only be used for eating children.
LarvaLamp
SometimesIFeelLikeAGenius
I wonder if anyone visits his church with the blissful ignorance of what Copeland is like and goes like
fishmaceins
Never listen to anyone who tells you to "obey" blindly. Pretty sure Jesus, if he existed, wouldn't have done that.
putcleverusernamehere
He did exist, and his teachings are virtually opposite the behavior of many if not most of right leaning "Christians"
Euchre
You mean Jesus showed acceptance of and hospitality to 'sinners' and forgave them with love and compassion? Yes, he did - unlike those today
pyroplumbus7
Pretty sure Jesus, would have none of this bullshit in his name.
DrivingtoHelltoKissDemons
There is evidence that Jesus was a real person who did exist, but status as “son of god” is a lot less likely. Strictly according to the 1/n
PerfectManhattanUp
What does it even mean to say that he existed, minus the supernatural nonsense. It's like saying Superman exists because there happens to...
PerfectManhattanUp
Be a journalist by the name Clark Kent. There were many about that time claiming to be the Messiah that got themselves killed so I guess ...
PerfectManhattanUp
Sure maybe one was called yeshua and said some of the stuff claimed in the bible but that's a far cry from "Jesus existed" being true in...
PerfectManhattanUp
In the way that religious people mean it when they make the claim.
DrivingtoHelltoKissDemons
Bible’s teachings, however, Jesus said several times that man should obey the word of God. That’s pretty black and white, however the 2/n
DrivingtoHelltoKissDemons
reason so many Christian denominations exist is because nobody can agree on the correct interpretation of God’s word. Take that as you will.
TresusIbor
Maybe if he'd use his infinite cosmic power to write a better book...
DrivingtoHelltoKissDemons
The best part about the Bible is that it’s blatantly false if not outright lies in multiple places. I could get deep into that as well.
WinstonSmith101
Well when you put have the Word of God written down after the fact in Aramaic, translated to Greek then Latin then edited for apocrypha…etc.
WinstonSmith101
Then translated again into modern languages. A lost gets “lost” in translation. Including the Aramaic word for “obey” could mean obey or not
DrivingtoHelltoKissDemons
On the subject of Biblical Inerrancy, the Bible was written several decades after the death of Jesus by fallible humans. The authors 1/n
DrivingtoHelltoKissDemons
weren’t firsthand witnesses, but rather people who took the poor and illiterate, who supposedly witnessed Christ’s miracles, at their 2/n
kaiserdas19
And He and his followers even said people would butcher things He said.
wjruth
He was a pretty good traveling Rabbi.
ratfaceddog
That depends on your standard of evidence.
Kralizac
I know Jesus. He's real. He lives in Shreveport and runs a bar. Cool dude. Curious though, what's your standard of evidence?
ratfaceddog
That guy’s doing fine. They said “was” and “did.”
magila
Jesus did exist. We can debate his divinity all day, but he did exist.
[deleted]
[deleted]
ratfaceddog
Downvotes don’t mean you’re wrong.
FartmanMD
Not terrifically easy to prove. He could just be an amalgam that has developed over time of several different people. Would make sense with
FartmanMD
The seemingly endless miracles
MyVerySmarterUserName
Back that up with some source maybe ?
Beezlebubble
Yeah. Romans kept pretty good records of who the executed and what not. Whether or not he was son of God is the actual issue. He was a
Beezlebubble
Documented person, which is kinda neat - but also kinda fucked up. "Yeah we've got proof of our messiah. The people that should have
Beezlebubble
Recognized him as their savior sorta...crucified him. The government has it on record...Huh, our species are shit. "
ratfaceddog
What document?
NotACanadian
Glad we're at least slightly out of the age of fedora-tippers ignoring every bit of historiographic literature on the subject.
ratfaceddog
“Every bit?” Josephus is the only non-canonical text I ever see mentioned, and it’s not contemporaneous and possibly a forgery.
NotACanadian
1/ Firstly, historians use a variety of sources: https://redd.it/259vcd/ Secondly, Josephus' Antiquities of the Jews as a whole is most
NotACanadian
2/ certainly not a forgery, that's been more levied on a specific passage, the Testimonium Flavianum. The idea that that's a forgery is very
orbitn
Wasn't every bit of evidence either (1) backfilled by the church or (2) 60+ years after his death?
jherazob
The general consensus is that there was a Jesus, just a man though: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historicity_of_Jesus
orbitn
"Since the 18th century, three separate scholarly quests for the historical Jesus have taken place" Sounds like if it were a certainty, like
orbitn
is being mentioned elsewhere, one would have been sufficient.
[deleted]
[deleted]
OmenJones
"I don't understand historical inquiry."
ratfaceddog
That’s when you start with a conclusion and let confirmation bias do the rest, right?
orbitn
There are references to a Yeshua ben Pantera/stada who preached and was execued in the Talmud, but those, also could have been added later.
orbitn
And even that was "oh my dad said something about this dude". Frankly the historical evidence for jesus is one of the more believable >
magila
Just because you can't find his bones.... well I can explain that shit.
ratfaceddog
The devil made them look like dinosaur bones.
orbitn
More like the romans didn't write "We executed a dude, then the sky turned black for hours and there was an earthquake and maybe we fucked>
orbitn
up a little. Also, the jewish temple was broken in two."
NotACanadian
1/ Although Josephus published Antiquities about that time, he was also around to witness the first Christians come together and stories
NotACanadian
4/ primary sources about anything in Jesus' Judea, but to historians that isn't a show-stopper (we often take into account histories written
NotACanadian
2/ about Jesus would have been commonplace (he was even alive at the same time as Paul and John). There is slightly more evidence known of
NotACanadian
3/ Jesus than there are of his contemporary Jews in Judea, and even Pontius Pilate. As a then historical backwater, there are almost no
NotACanadian
6/6 Professional historians have many reasons for accepting sources like Josephus and Tacitus as credible. https://redd.it/259vcd/
orbitn
FYI - when you write comments like this, reply to yourself - it's really the best way. Otherwise it gets confusing. :/
orbitn
have they not also had plenty of reasons for discrediting the idea? I have not seen anyone credible say "100% certain he existed."
NotACanadian
Also see the other FAQ questions, https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/wiki/faq/religion#wiki_did_jesus_exist.3F
NotACanadian
5/ many generations after the fact - a 10-20 year gap is nothing).
orbitn
isn't josephus held about as truthfully as Herodotus (i think his name was)?
NotACanadian
3/ understanding of it. Josephus was significantly closer to 20's Judaea as well as the people that would have remembered it first-hand.
NotACanadian
2/ be desired. Rather than carrying on a rigorous oral history, he's more just interviewing the folk histories of others and sharing his
NotACanadian
1/ About several times as much. Herodotus is still useful in gathering what the folklore of the time was, but as a historian there's much to