Nude housekeeping

Jan 19, 2019 2:42 PM

Throwaway9900000

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49868

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1671

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69

It's been awhile since I've seen some good were stories, so I thought to share mine. My job is pretty interesting as it is. I also made a throwaway account so that no one knows me.

I'm here to clean in the nude and offer some different eye candy. I don't offer prostitution Services because I like to stay legal. I pay taxes like all of you just I really don't Define what type of housekeeping I do.

I was in a commission-only marketing job and going door-to-door. So one of my friends mentioned to me to get into nude housekeeping because sexual things sell.

Some guys want to pay me to watch them touch themselves well that is included if I come clean but that's not what I'm offering. I respect my clients privacy so even if they are dating or married doesn't affect me. So far no girls have caught me.

Before I come clean I am upfront and honest about how I do things so that I don't waste your time and you don't waste mine. But some clients magically think their junk is going to turn me on. No it doesn't, high school was tough for me so by doing this job it actually builds more confidence for me. But the one guy kept thinking and asking if I would ride his face. First of all he was 80 and second of all again no. I get paid upfront and he was the only guy so far that I left early.

I don't care what they do for drugs in their house as long as the cops don't show up while I'm there. I like when they smoke weed because they're very chill and relaxed but when they do Coke it gets them more energized. Some of these guys are scrawny and old but you never know what drugs can do to you.

Now I'm not trying to be mean but a lot of guys come in all shapes and sizes some are attractive and some aren't. But since they are paying me every dick looks nice.

*edit- Thank you guys so much! I can share some actual stories next time. But it's more of the emails I get that I scan through. If any girls are interested. I can give some tips how to get started.

It bugs me that noone's asked this... any women call you over?

7 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 2

Photo proof or it Didn’t happen

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Aren't you worried they might secretly film you and upload it somewhere?

7 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Seriously, with this line of work, I can't imagine your clients are the most stand up people to begin with. Not really surprising behaviors.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Where Seinfeld meme where he payed his cleaner and nothing got cleaned.

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

I've never seen Seinfeld sadly

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Good for you. Work it and +1 for creativity.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So since your cleaning, if a dude blows his load on the floor while watching you, do you then have to clean it up? Honest question.

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Yes they do clean it up

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

@OP has anyone hired you for regular housekeeping and you disrobed and there was confusion?

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

No they let me know ahead of time so there is no mix up.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Wow, I actually had no idea this was a thing. I'm more surprised I haven't thought that it was, then its actual existence.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You sound like a nice person.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Oh some guys I've cleaned for are nervous, but I'm very bubbly and open to topics

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Bubbly, cleaning products... I see what you did there.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

Do they ever ask to film you, and do you let them? I imagine that'd be hard to stop, especially with the rise of home surveillance systems.

7 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Yes they do but I don't allow it

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Damn, and when I needed money I had to work 12h/day shifts of manual labour. Tad jealous to be honest.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I used to, but then I live where a lot of older men reside with money.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah, but I am a dude, and an ugly one at that lol. Just a little jealous of having such options. It's ok though I have a good job nowdays:)

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Any tips on cleaning?

7 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

Magic eraser for the bathtub, lysol for the counter tops, pledge antibacterial for dusting and your sink to shine, zep stainless steel spray

7 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

Saved

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

I always wonder what professionals use when I’m cleaning my house. I’ve never tried a magic eraser on the tub!

7 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Jotting that down in "professions I didn't know existed but should have assumed they did".

7 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 0

You didn't know prostitution / stripping took various form ? Because she's really just a stripper cattering a specific kink.

7 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 9

I'd be glad to have her around the house nude but If I'm paying for housekeeping she better actually fulfill on that.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ever get a client that was well known or famous?

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Not yet. I've cleaned for some wealthy guys but no one of great importance.

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Hope it's like Ben Affleck and he has three testicles.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You say you’re in a tourist location, how big we talkin here? - someone interested in the business

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Couple million people visit in about a few months.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Well how about that. Just be careful, OP.

7 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

in US ? asking 'cause of my never-ending, stupid curiosity.

7 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 3

Yes but you can find this anywhere if you look

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Yep. It's a TIDE Commercial.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Will you retire before 65?

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I'm planning on it

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This kind of stuff makes me feel embarrassed to be male. You don't get women wanting things like this. We make ourselves look sex mad. 1/2

7 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 3

I like women as much as any man, but this just feels pervy. If I was a woman in that position I just would not be able to trust. 2/2

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

Might I ask how much you charge an hour. Serious question.

7 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

So its $60 per hour in a bikini/underwear and a bra, $75 per hour for topless, or $90 per hour for nude.

7 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

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[deleted]

7 years ago (deleted Jan 19, 2019 9:18 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

OP says she advertises on Craigslist

7 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I’d have thought there’d be more of a market for a maid outfit than a bikini.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

How long is the average job?

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

How often do people just go about their shit like it's a normal day when you are cleaning and/or yell stuff like, you missed a spot?

7 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

A few guys do and no I haven't missed a spot yet

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I assume more often than youd think just from a human psychology perspective.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

How do you get new clientele?

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Craigslist

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Question from an artist: Have you ever considered posing for figure drawing? A lot of models aren’t good at natural/everyday poses (1/2)

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

(2/2) Someone that’s comfortable in the buff and experienced in going about their business would be well suited for it, I think.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I have thought of it. I almost did it, but they never came through

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I’ve hired nude cleaners a couple of times. It was kind of disappointing. Naked gals didn’t clean very well.

7 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

7 years ago, I met an independent house keeper that is a foaf. She bring the supplies and is a tornado of cleaning. She does more in two

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Hours than I could in 5. Keeps her clothes in and that’s okay.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Oh I'm OCD about how I clean. I buy good supplies too.

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Nice. I’m sure your clients appreciate it. My cleaner comes twice a month. Knowing that she’s coming motivates me to keep clutter to a min

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Minimum. In addition to the normal stuff, she also waters my plants and goes through the fridge, tossing out anything questionable.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

If I could give advice to other dudes... keep your place tidy. Pay for it if cleaning isn’t something you enjoy doing yourself.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Better than nude welding I suppose

7 years ago | Likes 451 Dislikes 3

That would be hot

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

or nude bacon cooking

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

i go around cooking bacon for people in the nude. they can masturbate. its their house. im not a whore.

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

Sure is, I burned my nipples even with a shirt on imagine her lips

7 years ago | Likes 42 Dislikes 0

Coed Naked Welding: The right Spark will Get everyone to come together

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

*OSHA intensifies*

7 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Can confirm.

7 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Username checks out?

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Or being a nude tree surgeon?..

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Be extra careful of the wood you trim.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I'd actually pay to see that. It's got to be hilarious.

7 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

I'd be amazed if Jackass or a similar show hasn't done something like that at some point

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Nude fry cook

7 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

It's not the splatter it's the intense sunburn

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm sure you already do this but if not, make sure a trusted friend knows the address and time you should be done. Just in case.

7 years ago | Likes 728 Dislikes 10

Well that won't help her much if she gets unlucky, except that they'll at least find the corpse and catch the murderer.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 5

First 48, brother

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Make sure you bring Gator to protect you

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Gators bitches better be wearing jimmies!!

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Pimps don't cry...

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This is why I love the IMGUR community. Instead of passing judgement you give some solid advice, and everyone upvotes it.

7 years ago | Likes 124 Dislikes 0

What, but imgur hates women, and the community is full of nazis and shit! /s

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I have learned some things from you guys.

7 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Yes I do! I have a driver that even comes with me if I have to go farther out of the way.

7 years ago | Likes 475 Dislikes 2

Good! I was concerned for your safety, too. Glad you have a system.

7 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Its important that you are safe, first and foremost. Im glad to hear you have a contingency

7 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

Good. Be careful out there and do your thing ?

7 years ago | Likes 126 Dislikes 1

Is there a market for a nude plumber/electrician? Asking for a friend.

7 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

How about a nude sysadmin? Also asking for a friend

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I would ask about nude drafting but I like not being cold so

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I’d be too terrified that I’d spend the rest of my short life tied up in a windowless basement

7 years ago | Likes 119 Dislikes 2

Im not attractive enough to have that worry

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I have a driver

7 years ago | Likes 81 Dislikes 2

Wow this is really interesting OP, good luck in your jobs! And how could I start?

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

How do you even go about finding and hiring a nude housekeeper, asking for a friend...

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We all saw that episode of shameless.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

So how do you advertise? You said went door to door at first? “For an extra __ I’ll get naked.” Any close calls for guys expecting more?

7 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 1

I came to ask this question..

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

No I worked in a marketing job. But I advertise on Craigslist. Easiest way.

7 years ago | Likes 39 Dislikes 1

How much would be the expected rate for something like that?

7 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

So its $60 per hour in a bikini/underwear and a bra, $75 per hour for topless, or $90 per hour for nude.

7 years ago | Likes 33 Dislikes 0