Throwaway9900000
49868
1671
69
It's been awhile since I've seen some good were stories, so I thought to share mine. My job is pretty interesting as it is. I also made a throwaway account so that no one knows me.
I'm here to clean in the nude and offer some different eye candy. I don't offer prostitution Services because I like to stay legal. I pay taxes like all of you just I really don't Define what type of housekeeping I do.
I was in a commission-only marketing job and going door-to-door. So one of my friends mentioned to me to get into nude housekeeping because sexual things sell.
Some guys want to pay me to watch them touch themselves well that is included if I come clean but that's not what I'm offering. I respect my clients privacy so even if they are dating or married doesn't affect me. So far no girls have caught me.
Before I come clean I am upfront and honest about how I do things so that I don't waste your time and you don't waste mine. But some clients magically think their junk is going to turn me on. No it doesn't, high school was tough for me so by doing this job it actually builds more confidence for me. But the one guy kept thinking and asking if I would ride his face. First of all he was 80 and second of all again no. I get paid upfront and he was the only guy so far that I left early.
I don't care what they do for drugs in their house as long as the cops don't show up while I'm there. I like when they smoke weed because they're very chill and relaxed but when they do Coke it gets them more energized. Some of these guys are scrawny and old but you never know what drugs can do to you.
Now I'm not trying to be mean but a lot of guys come in all shapes and sizes some are attractive and some aren't. But since they are paying me every dick looks nice.
*edit- Thank you guys so much! I can share some actual stories next time. But it's more of the emails I get that I scan through. If any girls are interested. I can give some tips how to get started.
ObliqueRay
It bugs me that noone's asked this... any women call you over?
NorthernPuffer
Photo proof or it Didn’t happen
Sprocker
Aren't you worried they might secretly film you and upload it somewhere?
RICHARDJOKES
Seriously, with this line of work, I can't imagine your clients are the most stand up people to begin with. Not really surprising behaviors.
watgula9
Where Seinfeld meme where he payed his cleaner and nothing got cleaned.
Throwaway9900000
I've never seen Seinfeld sadly
Katmomma
Good for you. Work it and +1 for creativity.
ChampionChains
So since your cleaning, if a dude blows his load on the floor while watching you, do you then have to clean it up? Honest question.
Throwaway9900000
Yes they do clean it up
DasNarwhal
@OP has anyone hired you for regular housekeeping and you disrobed and there was confusion?
Throwaway9900000
No they let me know ahead of time so there is no mix up.
mattig89ch
Wow, I actually had no idea this was a thing. I'm more surprised I haven't thought that it was, then its actual existence.
lordstanleyofyork
You sound like a nice person.
Throwaway9900000
Oh some guys I've cleaned for are nervous, but I'm very bubbly and open to topics
lordstanleyofyork
Bubbly, cleaning products... I see what you did there.
MyDogLovesKush
airandfingers
Do they ever ask to film you, and do you let them? I imagine that'd be hard to stop, especially with the rise of home surveillance systems.
Throwaway9900000
Yes they do but I don't allow it
blessedboi
Damn, and when I needed money I had to work 12h/day shifts of manual labour. Tad jealous to be honest.
Throwaway9900000
I used to, but then I live where a lot of older men reside with money.
blessedboi
Yeah, but I am a dude, and an ugly one at that lol. Just a little jealous of having such options. It's ok though I have a good job nowdays:)
veniadmeamfra
Any tips on cleaning?
Throwaway9900000
Magic eraser for the bathtub, lysol for the counter tops, pledge antibacterial for dusting and your sink to shine, zep stainless steel spray
whiskeyRN
Saved
narcissisthis
I always wonder what professionals use when I’m cleaning my house. I’ve never tried a magic eraser on the tub!
Crawmak
Jotting that down in "professions I didn't know existed but should have assumed they did".
korkalek
You didn't know prostitution / stripping took various form ? Because she's really just a stripper cattering a specific kink.
Etownhustla
I'd be glad to have her around the house nude but If I'm paying for housekeeping she better actually fulfill on that.
ChesterBangs
Ever get a client that was well known or famous?
Throwaway9900000
Not yet. I've cleaned for some wealthy guys but no one of great importance.
ChesterBangs
Hope it's like Ben Affleck and he has three testicles.
Throwaway82706
You say you’re in a tourist location, how big we talkin here? - someone interested in the business
Throwaway9900000
Couple million people visit in about a few months.
BigTittyGothKitty
Well how about that. Just be careful, OP.
OctaviusClausewitz
in US ? asking 'cause of my never-ending, stupid curiosity.
Throwaway9900000
Yes but you can find this anywhere if you look
MortyINeedYouToHideTheseSeeds
Yep. It's a TIDE Commercial.
NegentropyX
Will you retire before 65?
Throwaway9900000
I'm planning on it
Valfheim
This kind of stuff makes me feel embarrassed to be male. You don't get women wanting things like this. We make ourselves look sex mad. 1/2
Valfheim
I like women as much as any man, but this just feels pervy. If I was a woman in that position I just would not be able to trust. 2/2
alginon1977
Might I ask how much you charge an hour. Serious question.
Throwaway9900000
So its $60 per hour in a bikini/underwear and a bra, $75 per hour for topless, or $90 per hour for nude.
[deleted]
[deleted]
Halzjones
OP says she advertises on Craigslist
pumly
I’d have thought there’d be more of a market for a maid outfit than a bikini.
TacoGoblin
How long is the average job?
Adoptedphalic
How often do people just go about their shit like it's a normal day when you are cleaning and/or yell stuff like, you missed a spot?
Throwaway9900000
A few guys do and no I haven't missed a spot yet
Adoptedphalic
I assume more often than youd think just from a human psychology perspective.
Korbenik
How do you get new clientele?
Throwaway9900000
Craigslist
whiskeydingo
Question from an artist: Have you ever considered posing for figure drawing? A lot of models aren’t good at natural/everyday poses (1/2)
whiskeydingo
(2/2) Someone that’s comfortable in the buff and experienced in going about their business would be well suited for it, I think.
Throwaway9900000
I have thought of it. I almost did it, but they never came through
Fishammer
I’ve hired nude cleaners a couple of times. It was kind of disappointing. Naked gals didn’t clean very well.
Fishammer
7 years ago, I met an independent house keeper that is a foaf. She bring the supplies and is a tornado of cleaning. She does more in two
Fishammer
Hours than I could in 5. Keeps her clothes in and that’s okay.
Throwaway9900000
Oh I'm OCD about how I clean. I buy good supplies too.
Fishammer
Nice. I’m sure your clients appreciate it. My cleaner comes twice a month. Knowing that she’s coming motivates me to keep clutter to a min
Fishammer
Minimum. In addition to the normal stuff, she also waters my plants and goes through the fridge, tossing out anything questionable.
Fishammer
If I could give advice to other dudes... keep your place tidy. Pay for it if cleaning isn’t something you enjoy doing yourself.
captainclutch
Better than nude welding I suppose
NotAPervert
That would be hot
IMayOrMayNotHaveTroubleFindingAndOrChoosingAUsername
elrick43
or nude bacon cooking
BidenduexMaximus
i go around cooking bacon for people in the nude. they can masturbate. its their house. im not a whore.
Ioffersex
Sure is, I burned my nipples even with a shirt on imagine her lips
TheStaffmaster
Coed Naked Welding: The right Spark will Get everyone to come together
blkbox
*OSHA intensifies*
ArgonSpark
Can confirm.
galiean251
Username checks out?
StabbyTheCat
Or being a nude tree surgeon?..
TheDairyPope
Be extra careful of the wood you trim.
ObliqueRay
I'd actually pay to see that. It's got to be hilarious.
JackalopeElope
Ass you wish, NSFW: https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph567e5a9be712b
dingofdong
I'd be amazed if Jackass or a similar show hasn't done something like that at some point
SweatyBawBag
Nude fry cook
mattjmanka
It's not the splatter it's the intense sunburn
shureshot76
I'm sure you already do this but if not, make sure a trusted friend knows the address and time you should be done. Just in case.
GloriousEdgeLord
Well that won't help her much if she gets unlucky, except that they'll at least find the corpse and catch the murderer.
Segagenesischalmers
First 48, brother
Icantbeli3vethisisstillavailable
Make sure you bring Gator to protect you
toppes
Segagenesischalmers
Gators bitches better be wearing jimmies!!
Silvercypher
http://thumbs.gfycat.com/AcademicPolishedArmyworm-small.gif
Whoresstealinglemons
Pimps don't cry...
AChickNamedBob
This is why I love the IMGUR community. Instead of passing judgement you give some solid advice, and everyone upvotes it.
WhyShouldILoveYou
What, but imgur hates women, and the community is full of nazis and shit! /s
Throwaway9900000
I have learned some things from you guys.
Throwaway9900000
Yes I do! I have a driver that even comes with me if I have to go farther out of the way.
CuteLukePatoot
Good! I was concerned for your safety, too. Glad you have a system.
JackTheRabbitWhite
Its important that you are safe, first and foremost. Im glad to hear you have a contingency
shureshot76
Good. Be careful out there and do your thing ?
AwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwYiiiiiiiis
Is there a market for a nude plumber/electrician? Asking for a friend.
BunnyBooBear69
How about a nude sysadmin? Also asking for a friend
BigOlAnimeTiddiesV2
I would ask about nude drafting but I like not being cold so
eateateatmorebacon
I’d be too terrified that I’d spend the rest of my short life tied up in a windowless basement
comicsmakemehappierthanmostpeopledo
Im not attractive enough to have that worry
Throwaway9900000
I have a driver
imagineacoolnamehere
Wow this is really interesting OP, good luck in your jobs! And how could I start?
BandannaNinja
How do you even go about finding and hiring a nude housekeeper, asking for a friend...
thefrayedendsofsanity
We all saw that episode of shameless.
eateateatmorebacon
So how do you advertise? You said went door to door at first? “For an extra __ I’ll get naked.” Any close calls for guys expecting more?
Mercurybird
I came to ask this question..
Throwaway9900000
No I worked in a marketing job. But I advertise on Craigslist. Easiest way.
IChangeMyNameForJokes
How much would be the expected rate for something like that?
Throwaway9900000
So its $60 per hour in a bikini/underwear and a bra, $75 per hour for topless, or $90 per hour for nude.