AmARealGrill
178211
3955
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Take note Battlefielders
GIVE IT UP, AMERICA
ANYTHING BUT THE DOGS/CATS ;-;
GAngeldb
Can we move trailers back to the end of movies? Or put the actual start time of the movie instead of sitting through 30 minutes of trailers
Cere4l
theres one very easy solution for that!
GAngeldb
Yea but waiting 30 minutes before a movie starts is a gamble. You may miss the movie. So your advice sucks.
Cere4l
netflix doesnt make you miss the first 30 minutes o_O
GAngeldb
Waiting six months? Thats your solution?
Cere4l
not many movies/series i NEED to see when they come out. infact.. none besides GoT
ArandomDane
Alcohol levels in the blood is also not proportional to impairment, but somehow we manage using the lowest levels just to be safe...
RealFuckinNito
RealFuckinNito
follows: back then there was no child abuse laws because of the whole "spare the rod and spoil the child" mentality (it was a dumb era) 2/x
RealFuckinNito
But there was HABEAS CORPUS (the right to the safety of the body) which protected people from PERMANENT harm. Her case used this, and 3/X
RealFuckinNito
proclaimed that the damage endured by her, while not necessarily physical in nature, would be PERMANENT, and therefore a literal 4/x
RealFuckinNito
interpretation of said law applied to such abuse, where the whole "animal rights" thing comes in is that when in desperation at the lack 5/x
RealFuckinNito
of child protection activists (as that was seen as a thing of the parents) her neighbors contacted the American Society for the Prevention 6
IdonotknowwhatthehellIamdoinghere
#1 and #5 So, if we're not at war it's OK to shoot them then, right?
SarcasmShmarcasm
As an Alabamian, #34 is why you don't go anywhere in Alabama but the major cities.
ThePerfectCommentDoesntexi
Because you might meet Jonah Hill?
SarcasmShmarcasm
Well apparently I cant fucking count...
SomeguyfromICYhellhole
Pandas are such useless creatures.
DoorbyTheHouseShelf
That McDonald's one worked so well. When I was working there, every Friday we would sell out literally on filet-o-fish. At about $5 a piece.
sockpuppetnightmare
#14 thank you to whoever made this one for not using using a syringe with 30 cc's of fluid. It's not 2 cc's but it's progress
Cloudfallxx
Joe Arridy's story is heartbreaking.
Diego2Fuego
It sure kicked my ass... :(
housev1l
"exceptionally fr0iendly"
urinefoam
https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/keyboard_mash.png
Krenth
Georgian warriors are the Internet Explorer of armies.
ComicalCube
They're fr0indly pigs, Brant
StephieDZ
Well guess I'm moving to Iceland
SlightlyAngryAtAllTimes
#2 that's not kickass, that's depressing
HalifaxSamuels
Depression kicks my ass every day.
SlightlyAngryAtAllTimes
cherypi
#10 APPLE
MatadoR32
Huh, I didn't know apples were a citrus....
SirFormidio
We'll call the new planet 'Pluto 2: With a Vengeance.'
BoogiesOogie
Correction: *Pluto 2: Pluto Harder*
FallingScar
#34 im guessing fan is a typo, or does Jonah Hill only have one fan?, he would save money on business cards if so.
alphaastorm
It's just Channing Tatum wearing costumes.
FallingScar
ahh the old "jeff" costume
Draek93
I like to think I'm "Fr0iendly"
Agnagna
If you're surprised by the Alabama functional illiteracy rate, Italy's rate is 47%
JoshVita
Holy Mary.
dafuqsthat
I can't read Italian either, guess I'm illiterate.
pandro
In the late 70's Florida implemented a "functional" literacy test. They renamed it a year later after 30-50% failed it.
cinemeasctha
Just read about Joe Arridy, very sad. In the wiki page, they said, that he smiled walking to the gas chamber and didn't understand at all.
ThePerfectCommentDoesntexi
"No, no, Joe won't die" fucking sad
kittykat
The US has a long, sad history of putting mentally ill and developmentally delayed people to death for crimes they didn't commit.
RELAVANTGIFMAKER
"fr0iendly"
Bon3rJams03
If you ever feel like a disappointment, imagine being the son of Frank Lloyd Wright and the best you can do is Lincoln Logs.
MoreLikeLawlSchool
Only 1 in 4 for Alabama? I thought it would be a lot higher like maybe 20-25%. Still though...
thekingjayde
Wouldn't 1 in 4 be about 25%?
thekingjayde
Wouldn't 1 in 4 be about 25%?
Diego2Fuego
Jesus.
MoreLikeLawlSchool
That is correct.
Pedanticjerk
The pigs are friendly until they try to land in Cuba, take over the communist government amidst full on cold war
ActuallyACateArmyOfficialDoNotWhistleAboutIt
Iceland, here I come!
CondorConnor
Full of midges though, I believe.
ActualProofIHadSexWithLilyEvans
Not full of, just around the lakes. And just in summer.
CondorConnor
I mean, same with mosquitoes
ActualProofIHadSexWithLilyEvans
Fair point. The midges can't kill you though.
NightFuryLee
Same here. I get destroyed here in mtl n it's the worst. Also Iceland seems a fantastic place to live
StairwellTO
Said every mosquito after reading this post.
StarmanUltra
There are plenty of better reasons to visit Iceland tbh
WhiterunWarriorProject
I want to go to Reykjavik for a video game convention
loismustdie
I've been led to believe Eve Online is the only game allowed in Iceland :D
DopeyFuckedaPenguinAgain
The admission cost of entering the zoo is one dog, it must have been a really Shih-Tzu
RandomIsotope
koda5300
How many fucking strays were there? Wanna go to the Zoo? No worries, stop near any local back alley, just past the friendly neighborhood>
srirachaislife
There was actually an overabundance of strays in the 18th and 19th century
MemeDissector
didn't spay or neuter our pets in those days, and they had no natural predators. As you might guess, there were a lot of them.
koda5300
koda5300
mallywanders
Maybe, but you could also pay the cat tax.
JaromirAzarov
Am I the only one who finds it ironic that they can find planets orbiting remote stars but apparently can't find one right under our nose?
FrustratedBluffing
Also we don't "know" it's there. Some people think it could be but it's not widely accepted as fact.
JaromirAzarov
So much for "kickassfacts" then, huh?
TheSwedishMoose
1) All exoplanet are observed indirectly by their effects on other things, like their star. 2) This planet never passes between earth 1/2
TheSwedishMoose
2/2 and the sun, making it harder to detect than exoplanets. 3) We can actually only detect a tiny fraction of exoplanets.
FrustratedBluffing
Also it probably doesn't exist. It's existence is far from accepted as likely.
Fistouille
Ok ok, we won't shoot parachuters, no need to insist!
HaudYerWheesht
Speak for yourself!
BeardyGlasses
You can shoot them, as long as the plane they jumped out of is fine. :3
Krympehl
maybe it's not fine, maybe there was a spider in it, or two, or a mommy with lots of baby spiders, o OMG WHAT THE FUCK JUST BRUSHED MY FOOT?
GadenKerensky
I doubt it. D-Day, for example; a lot of their planes were damaged and crippled, but they still jumped as planned because what else to do?
UnitedPaper
My God Alabama.
StairwellTO
Weird name for a God
circlebreaker
Get your shit together 'bama. Those of you who can read this comment, pass it on to the illiterate ones.
colhall134
Ironically enough the fact spelled Alabamians wrong lol
standards
It depends a lot on how you measure such things, but typically a functional illiterate cannot read at the 5th grade level (1/2)
standards
Various estimates place the rates at between 20 - 33% nationally. Some 250,000 in the metro Atlanta area alone. Read Jonathon Kozol.
Askingforafriend37
I bet it was their idea to put the constitution in the safes too. How many safes do you think you have to open to get it out?
Nuanra
I'm from Alabama. I imagine it's all the really old people who farmed instead of going to school.
Rossco311
I was mildly disappointed when I didn't see any spelling errors on their welcome sign.
Crabsforeveryone
That's one of the saddest things I've ever heard about my own country.
IShouldntJokeAboutThat
IM COMING HOME TO YOU
degenerator
Note that most of the letters in the name come from the beginning of the alphabet. To help the locals with the spelling.
whitebicycle
Got a wheel in the ditch and a wheel on the track.
RenegadeFatman
I'm from Alabama! Can confirm
LurkyMcLyrkin
I am also from Alabama, 10/10 did not know.
iloverubber
I'm from Huntsville, lived there for 30+ years and only knew one illiterate person and she is an old woman in her 70's.
OfMiceAndMenus
I think God is part of the problem down there.
Olyvver
ROLL TIDE
UWAGAGABLAGABLAGABA
I'm calling bullshit on that one. I grew up there. Transferred to North Carolina in 10th grade. Carolina was doing stuff Alabama did in 6th
Teevo83
We will take your anecdotal evidence under advisement.
HorsesAreLikeWalkingCouchesWithAnxiety
Depends on where you went. Also, I tried to call bullshit too but googled it, apparently it does check out :|
snet328
'Tis true. The population on the coasts aren't really snooty, we just know how to read.
Sobelimas
You must have moved from Huntsville to Fayette-nam then lol
UWAGAGABLAGABLAGABA
I grew up in Citronelle.
loganwadams
As a resident of Hoover, AL, I'm oblivious to the illiteracy in the state.
BlueDub
I'm from Ireland. Have some family in Hoover
loganwadams
Really? I've been here all my life (minus the years that I spent away at college).
YourPalCthulhu
Oh look, it can talk
SonsOfMoog
lubu222
The state educates all citizens, the ones who still can't read are making the choice to be idiots. "You can take a horse to water..."
aprilludgateduire
It's about the school system not having a high enough standard.
aPurpleLiger
Yeah Alabama is pretty much the best justification for common core you can find
ThisIsNotTheGreatestAccountInTheWorldNoThisIsJustATribute
Ain't that the fucking truth
HalifaxSamuels
They can read. It's referencing functional illiteracy. They can't read past something like a fifth grade level, though.
Aerogers
My family is from there and I'm probably related to most of those illiterate inbred bastards
SuperJere
Are you my cousin, aunt, grandmother, and father?
ThisIsNotTheGreatestAccountInTheWorldNoThisIsJustATribute
What part?
Aerogers
Athens Alabama
ThisIsNotTheGreatestAccountInTheWorldNoThisIsJustATribute
Trinity/Lawrence county here. We're practically neighbors.
ThisIsNotTheGreatestAccountInTheWorldNoThisIsJustATribute
Yeah and then they all fuck their cousins and live in places like Gob Nobbler, Kirby Holler, and Auburn.
pandro
Please don't stereotype all southerners by assuming they are cartoonish incestuous hicks. For some reason they are not a "protected" group.
ThisIsNotTheGreatestAccountInTheWorldNoThisIsJustATribute
Son, I'm from Alabama. I love about 3 miles from said Kirby Holler and I'm speaking from experience.
SnakeTaleJohnny
Auburn is the second most educated city in Alabama (after Hunstville).
SnakeTaleJohnny
Actually, it's second behind Vestavia Hills. https://www.nerdwallet.com/blog/studies/most-educated-top-cities-2015/
ThisIsNotTheGreatestAccountInTheWorldNoThisIsJustATribute
Yeah but it's Auburn. RTR!
WumboPower
It's true, I'm from Alabama and I'm illiterate.
ThisIsNotTheGreatestAccountInTheWorldNoThisIsJustATribute
As long as you understand the letters RTR, you're good lol
WumboPower
I know RTOTA
CommanderWilliamTRiker
GO CLEMSON
ThisIsNotTheGreatestAccountInTheWorldNoThisIsJustATribute
/a/CRXtX
WumboPower
I'm an Auburn fan so 1000x yes
SonsOfMoog
BetYouCantHitMeWithaQuarter
My God, Allahbama
kapp70
Allahubama Akbar!
StairwellTO
I think history class spoiled the end of Titanic. Bill Hader just educated them.
LSAH
At a screening, I heard some girls (women, not youths) exclaiming in surprise the ship had sunk. I wish I made that up.
ADMNtek
he probably told them that jack dies.
StairwellTO
Whoa! Way to ruin the whole fucking movie
FallingScar
What if he just told them the ship sank?
FlamParadiddlediddle
shit really? man, spoilers
Dsharppe
Does the ship sink at the end of the movie?
WumboPower
No they all live happily ever after.
FifteenthDoctor
The ship is shown sank at the start of the movie, not much of a spoiler
FallingScar
neither is jack dying to be honest