bobkirk22
94796
1953
80
Ran across this and some of these are helpful. Hope it helps some job seeker out there.
Sep 20, 2017 12:07 AM
bobkirk22
94796
1953
80
Ran across this and some of these are helpful. Hope it helps some job seeker out there.
doubledan
@ashleyplevi
SilentMajority420
Tell me a little bit about yourself. "Every day is worse than the last." Alrighty then.
edtwozeronine
A dream job you say? I haven't really decided on a career yet, so I don't have a dream job beyond the realms of fantasy.
macmacmac29
Yeahhh a lot of these suck
nighthawk23
I hate when they ask you to name a difficult situation you had with a co-worker and talk about how you resolved it.
charliegrs
If interview weren't 99% bullshit, they would consist of like 3 questions at the most.
definitelynotvelkoz
Someone had the intern make an infographic again.
Stollig
"So, tell me about yourself." - "I'd rather not, I kinda need this job."
lurkymcderp
"I take time in getting ready to the office" ...and I'm OUT!
PleaseRespectMyAsshole
TL;DR
PainFromage
25: fuck that !
Endetium
How to answer: Lie yourr ass off.
dirtydanisreal
Never ask what the employeediscount is. I found, if you can get them talking about themselves, you are interested and seem interesting
EngineeringComedy
At the end when they ask for questions I asked "where do you see the company in 5 years. Really freaking stumped him. It was awesome.
dirtydanisreal
I love "are you satisfied where you are in life " totally, that's why I'm applying to Target, I got a fucking plan brah
MissAizea
So lie.
lDanielHolm
"Lie your ass off" seems to be the gist of it.
mildlyabusive
These are garbage answers. Please do not follow this advice.
algavinn
Fuck job questions, and interviews, and fuck, fuck jobs. Go go self employment. I just get to ask myself why I'm a lazy unproductive bitch.
LurlineLumpkin
I'm not always sure I am interested in the job. I want them to sell me a little too.
FoxKeegan
tl;dr--Pretend you're running for office
0RC0N
And grab 'em by the pussy.
Niddhoger
"Why do you want to work here?" Because beer and pizza cost money! Damn dude, why the fuck do you think I'm here?
ShamnusMcfee
That's why you want to work, they want to know why you want to work THERE (as if you're drowning in job offers but whatever HR is dumb)
usernametakenisthestoryofmylife
When asked "So tell me about yourself" always claim the fifth amendment.
iHaveNoMouthAndIMustMeme
Q: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? A: I would say my biggest weakness is that I don't listen very well.
Mortred
Thanks dude, thats the funniest thing I read in a while :)
AriBoBari
I wish I saw this earlier. I just got a new job but fuck, it took a shitload of interviews.
JustStella
Congrats! I just got a new job, too. ????
AriBoBari
wait we just hired a Stella... this is just a coincidence right? lol
JustStella
My real name isn't Stella, haha!
PrivateIsotope
Today, I asked my boss if my laziness was covered under the ADA and whether or not I could get a service animal for it.
CodyLilley
I got a raise today.
PrivateIsotope
Hmm. I see I played my cards wrong...
biffboy6000
Kid i work with is trying to get a therapy parrot to have with him. We work in a kitchen. Enough said.
mynameismoreoriginalthanyours
HAHAHAHA I have to try this
PrivateIsotope
That kind of sounds dangerous! *LOL*
biffboy6000
No kidding. And its a bird... cant go walking around with it. A feral cat will try to swipe it off his shoulder. Very bizarre therapy animal
Virunuss
Thing about interviews is the answers "They" like are going to differ depending on who "they" is. One company may indeed be looking for >>
Virunuss
>> The standard clean-cut semi-bullshit answers that guides like this tend to give out. Perhaps just because they want someone who will >>
Virunuss
>> lick their boots and put up with shit work conditions to keep their job. But some other company may be nearly the exact opposite. >>
Virunuss
>> Maybe they want to hear about your fuckups. Maybe they want you to be honest about needing the money. Being down to earth and "real" >>
Virunuss
>> may make you stand out from the bullshitters with that company. There is no one perfect way to answer interview questions, and often >>
Virunuss
>> there is no real way to tell which way your interviewers will lean. Personally, I'd rather keep it real than slather it with bullshit. >>