anlyin
290753
8024
270
The chubbiness just makes you cuter
I saw my first American possum at the bottom of a food scraps bucket, can confirm it was terrifying
boogersweretasty
"Everyone has talent, those are the rules." Whaaaaat??
Mikeupvotes
I think pudding snacks are ok, tell that hoe get off her high horse.
ReallyGoodBee
AnIneptName
"That way i understand soccer all kids have talent, those are the rules" Since when is it a rule that everyone is good at something?
OuchYoureonmyhair
Um...have tags always been colorful or am I having an LSD flashback?
UrsaUrsa
Might be a flashback :D
goodjobmyfellowman
Jared looks like Corey Haim and Charlie Sheen had a... nevermind
Neogreenyew
I want a conclusion to #10 and #11
SaintCuntyMcFuckOff
Reekked
#1 What do you mean "all of 2017"? It just begun didnt it? oh wait...
SexyAlligator
Inarticulated
#25 Is that cat giving birth?
dirtbeans
Fun fact: goose barnacles are so named because people used to think geese came from barnacles, because people were really fucking stupid.
heyyouwantatoothpick
So wtf does “remix a song into drink” mean?
JokesOnYouHater
The soccer mom group chat was lovely
ImAFoxButNotReally
"Cristian" Ronaldo LOL
anotherrelevantusername
Yes! I want to know what happened next!
MissDashLisa
Want gunna read cause it was long and small writing but your comment convinced me to go back.
JokesOnYouHater
aaw
ReadySetBake
Yea but the snacks sucked!
aesthesia1
Moms make me not want to be a mom.
TheMovieGalaxyQuest
Same. But then again, I do not have a spawning pool inside my body, so I can not spawn spawnings anyway.
ladyatlas777
I promise there are semi-intelligent, mostly logical thinking moms out there who don't believe their kid is the absolute best at anything.
Chunkyfunkychicken
#5 Okay, here's what we'll do. We'll scrape all of these delicious little oysters or whatever off the ball, put'em in a pot and boil them up
Megalodann
You can't eat barnacles, friend.
DenverCoderIX
Dude, barnacles are like the more expensive sea delicacy in Spain & Portugal. People die to harvest them off the rocks; that ball alone /1
DenverCoderIX
could be on the 600 € price range. /2
candar
#1 it's absolutely bizarre how I now have opinions about precisely the year being bitched about and how much of a wimp I think you are.
MrPredator
twocatsandadream
They come into my yard all the time. We just keep our distance. No big deal. But "we got Australia's possum" was too funny!
SenoraZorra
They hiss to bare their teeth, but it's mostly for show. They are afraid. Thank you for saving it!!
dr4000
#4 - You like to do doggos?
UmpireD
Oh man! This made me laugh and laugh. Great job. Thanks
CharliMcFarli
#5 WILSON!!!!!!
Justathrowaway222
Brilliant
HewhomustnotBNamed
HER NAME IS ESPERANZA!
Fluffycorn
Thats Wilson's cool step brother: Jerome
TypoInEveryComment
It wouldn't float quite lonh with a hole in it. Would it?
NachoPete
Nah, man. That's John Voit.
BTorlop22
Can someone explain what has happened to this ball?!
CharliMcFarli
Barnacles. Gar!
ThenIDefyYouStars
Simple: it was floating around on the ocean. Barnacles had time to attach themselves to it. A lot of time.
DiceyBusiness
Sounds like a free ad for Spalding's balls.
BTorlop22
Ahhh thanks
daguq
Nope, that's Spalding - the dentist.
justarandombloke
http://imgur.com/wOLbl
majorlorddude
Spalding - the Captain
Meddafizziks
When I re watched that film as an adult and realized that he joked to Wilson that his dentist was Spalding, then came home to find his wife
Meddafizziks
was married with children to the dentist.
Benny721
Stop opossum hate now!
LaCruLove
The possum one is too true. Those are freaking scary, like a large rat.
NotMyUsualOnlineName
With jaws strong enough to break your fingers and toes if you get too close. And rabies.
[deleted]
[deleted]
SenoraZorra
Thank you! Opossums have such a bad reputation, but they're beneficial and not aggressive.
Topples
They have a low body temperature, so it's pretty rare for them to get rabies.
eliottsworld
I️ still think America Possums are cute. I️ always like they’re weird long faces and naked little tails. Maybe I’m weird.
OverwhelmingSurplusOfDiggity
Oh, that must be the iPhone “I”-replacing autocorrect bug. Funny.
madeanaccounttosaythis
Yeah I️ got it too.
zucchino
And did you know they eat ticks, and they don't carry Lyme disease? They're great!
ArdentSlacker
They're semi-chill for a wild animal. I usually feel relief that it's not a skunk.
SantaPanda
The only time they looked adorable to me was in this meme
night4345
They're not cute when they climb out of your garbage cans hissing at you. Possums can be mean.
EatTacos
If I had those bear pants, I would wear them to work on casual friday
gappvembe
https://www.costumesupercenter.com/products/ride-an-eagle-adult-costume 'Merica
EatTacos
Oh hell yeah, $29.99. Thank you friend!
EatTacos
update, found them at target for $48. woohoo
Megalodann
48? man those are worth like 30 at best. ill wait for clearance rack.
wakkawakkabeepboop
I neeed more of accidentally added to soccer moms right now !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Snypa88
YES DOOT
wakkawakkabeepboop
On it!
InfantCrippler
the closure : angry parents started calling the troll so she blocked all of their numbers. that's it. also this twitter girl is a reposter
maythefartsbewithyou
Do you the original poster by chance?
InfantCrippler
google "facebook mom trolls soccer group" or something
Kryalis
*know
BackRiverGhost
Someone accidentally added a stranger to my family's Christmas party chat last year and I insisted he came anyways, which massively 1/2
BackRiverGhost
pissed off my family. He was an amateur rapper and showed up with a pot roast. We got wasted together, hahaha. 2/2
wakkawakkabeepboop
Add me to this years
wakkawakkabeepboop
Unlessssssss........anyone here has a chat like that they want to anonymously add me on & I could say everything you’d like to but can’t
GodFuckingDamnitVanEyck
Man that is an awesome idea...
AsheLake
This is a great idea! Let us know if you have any fun adventures this way! (Please & thank you)
wakkawakkabeepboop
Trying! Absolutely at anyone’s service to “say what you think, without it being you “
justsignedupforthishit
On mobile. Can't fucking read it...
Elsuave
Impossibru
justsignedupforthishit
Sigh. Possibru.
LockedForGood
On Mobile CAN read it
justsignedupforthishit
Won't enlarge to readability. Can't. Tag. You're it.
thancrus
On the 4th pic..... Someone had to have done that for there to be a sign....
Skelemania
I imagine it's a catch-all sign for no dogs, skateboarding, drinking or smoking.
IceWeaselX
Or it's private property and someone posted it for fun.
thebluestthingsonearth
It's 4 separate restrictions combined into one humorous sign.
Nyellofwends
#4
MOTHERFUCKINGVIRGINMARY
Mvp
LGBTBBQ
Youre doing God's work x
violethill24
I would take a hissing opossum over the demonic clown noises our possums make
CommanderPotato
Australia may have gotten the wrong model, but the things did get the right OS
raidleadergutts
What the fuck https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5E8UIZWt29Q
violethill24
It's the stuff of nightmares
SpaceRefugee
yep Australian possums make a low growl that sounds like a super creepy dude heavy breathing. We've got 2 that live in our roof & every nite
SpaceRefugee
they climb down to eat our flowers, but they always stop outside my window & make the creepy breathing noises & scare the shit outta me
KramervsKramervsPredator
The llama is cheaper, but, also some disadvantages too
Cincychaos
I don't believe it
ABadJokeWasMade
yea, llamas are great, what could they do wrong? mow your lawn for free? teach you about inca culture?
Equinox13
I hear they don't even have wifi.
zucchino
or an audio jack
Cincychaos
Is that just the basic model though?
Equinox13
The llama+ will come with extra features.
JohnyCarlos
#6 C stands for "cocain"
im40percentbenderrodriguez
SorryImAwkwardSorry
TheBlackVan
Cocaine
IlikeblueberrieswithcreamandpancakesSomechocolateaswell
If you are gonna use any of them use the cocaine and avoid the vitamin-c. It's seriously Harmful . >>>>>>>>>
IlikeblueberrieswithcreamandpancakesSomechocolateaswell
Google "dangers associated with vitamin c supplements"
BlueCanaryInTheOutlet
Diarrhea and nausea. Sounds like a real killer.
IlikeblueberrieswithcreamandpancakesSomechocolateaswell
No no no. Long term effects. stupid
UserguyMcMister
Lol guys I just Googled negative affects of vaccines too. Go check that shit out fr
MissDashLisa
That was fun. Now Google symptoms of vitamin C deficiency
OverwhelmingSurplusOfDiggity
Yeah! And watch out for vaccines, too. And GMOs. And fucking gravity, or whatever the fuck stupid people are afraid of now.
IlikeblueberrieswithcreamandpancakesSomechocolateaswell
You can look up the cancer epidemic that is going on in the west. Its real burden on the economy and healthcare btw. So stupid? maybe you?
MissDashLisa
Now now, let's not call each other names. They aren't stupid just ignorant
OverwhelmingSurplusOfDiggity
Yes, I suppose you’re right. How about “the ignorant fucks”?
MissDashLisa
Yes better. Remember knowledge is power.
Ekibwurm
but choosing to remain ignorant is stupid...
JohnyCarlos
The god's work with his miraclous wonders. If they cant survive, they will accept their demise, if they survive, stronger gene.
Ekibwurm
if they only took down themselves ok but they also drag others down with them
JohnyCarlos
A more efficient effort to overcome overpopulation.
Logan9Fingers
Depressing fact: Sweden adds vitamin D in the store bought milk to combat the lack of sun we get during the dark months.
ChicanoBatman
In Seattle we call it whiskey and beer.
luceid
As someone who drinks a ton of milk and is still vitamin D deficient, it's not enough.
Jaekani
So does the US, but I don't think it's for seasonal depression.
mydailydoseofantidepressantsisyourbooty
VitD is more important in bone health. We fortify our milk for the similar reasons. Not as much sun during the winter months and people (1)
mydailydoseofantidepressantsisyourbooty
Don't go outside as much cause it's cold af so they don't produce as much VitD. Especially in the Midwest, Great Lakes, and Northeast. (2)
NotMyUsualOnlineName
Vitamin D is the closest thing I can find to whole milk. It's either Vitamin D milk or skim milk,
flippywizgig
I never thought about it. Why do they only add vitamin d to whole milk?
thisistheusernamethatneverendss
In the US all milk is fortified with vitamin D. They just call whole milk vitamin D milk because it sounds healthier.
emparier
My gf bought a uv lamp for the winters in the American midwest.
Showmeyourotters
I'll have to remember that since I work nights. Thankfully I live in AZ though, so right now it's not hard to get enough sun anyways.
Daemon7777
Mist uv lights only emit uv-a but you need uv-b to produce vitamin D in your skin.
Logan9Fingers
I dont drink milk so maybe i should look into that...
BreadyStinellis
Yeah, Happy Lights. 15 minutes a day is supposed to make you feel better. I know howbsjort our days get, I can't even imagine what it's like
BreadyStinellis
In Sweden. Do you get that...solstice? Anti solstice? Where it's totally dark all day?
Logan9Fingers
In the north yeah. And the reverse in summer. Aka the sun never goes down
NotMyUsualOnlineName
For a minute I thought "howbsjort" was some Swedish word for "utter shit", then I realized it was "how short" typod.
ninmonkey
How much does a howbsjort cost?
BreadyStinellis
Yeah, I tend to hit b instead of space. Also, j's apparently.