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The Ingredients
An Apple, Honey, Water, Yeast, A rasin or 6, and a balloon.
Run hot water over the honey
This makes it less viscous.
Chop the apple
gotta make it small enough to fit in the bottle
Put the apple in the bottle
Put the honey in the bottle
activate your yeast in warm water
add yeast to the bottle
put a balloon on it
Poke two vent holes in the balloon
This makes an airlock. When the balloon fills up with gas it will vent, and when there is no gas, the holes shrivel up like butthole in cold water.
Ready for magic
The magic is happening
See how the balloon stands up and lets it vent, awesome.
When the balloon is droopy, the magic has ended.
sanitize old 40 bottles
I use an oven at 300 degrees, and let them cool.
Bottle it.
End product
Fingers for clarity.
ghostbusterstwo
Props to OP for inventing the "Sideways Brewing Technique"
bmhbsr
I feel the need, the need for mead!
ImKupoForKupoNuts
Seriously bruh, we need measurements n shit.
WarlordPipsqueak
YAAAAY! Prison Mead!
TotalSmartAss
"shrivel up like butthole in cold water" Thanks, I can start my day now.
brianorr
Geez, this is a pretty ghetto way of making mead.
NowDoThatVoodooThatYouDo
This is fake. The honey isn't in a bottle shaped like a bear.
Sensiblerunningshoes
What were the raisins for?
kaos9
And the coffee filters and lemon loaf?
myweaknessisstrong
The raisins are for nutrients that the honey lacks to feed the yeast. you could also get an actual yeast food, but raisins are simpler.
julgran
Thank you! I was wondering too
thiswasalwaysgoingtobeamistake
I knew you'd get stuck on that.
realdealdan
Planning on going to prison any time soon?
JewishMonk
Why do you ask this? As long as it's under a certain ABV, home brewing is legal in most places.
realdealdan
Because prison wine.
JewishMonk
Ohhhhhhhh. *whoosh*
socramon
Missing step: shake the fuck out of it after adding the honey -- that shit doesn't dissolve by magic.
shrivelledjohnson
you would be amazed at how well the yeast find all the honey. I've had carboys where the honey didn't dissolve properly come out just fine.
InitHello
Note: This is not going to make good mead. Spend the extra $0.25, get proper yeast from a homebrew supply shop.
SaintMaceToTheFace
Because those are just everywhere
Spelaeus
They're fairly common, yeah.
rocklobstr0
Many liquor stores have at least a few basic home brewing things, like yeast
THESQUIDHAT
UNDERAGE DRINKING HERE I COME.
dumbsonny
I love the fact that you have 21 points.
THESQUIDHAT
I love the fact that you posted this 21 minutes ago.
Sobertroda
And I just love you
ronpopeil
As a homebrewer of several years: no.
jajambojajambo
y'all ought to learn how to rotate pictures
[deleted]
[deleted]
Beepity
"Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural/collective.
PeterME
Or take pictures landscape mode..
ikindoflikeacouplethings
I didn't realize they were the wrong orientation until you pointed it out. Brains are weird.
mighteee
WELL YA'LL MOTHERFUCKERS NEED JESUS
ThinkOfABetterNameLater
For someone just wanting to try the process, this ain't bad. Practice with this, then move up to better equipment and brewer's yeast.
MandrewJackson
+1 for "the holes shrivel up like a butthole in cold water."
waitwhut
Extra funny when you say it like Khan from King of the Hill.
namelesscynic
That is entirely the wrong yeast - go to a wine store. The apples make this melomel, not mead. And source for concept: 1960s "balloon wine"
cararaina
Cyser, not melomel.
namelesscynic
Both, actually. Any mead made with fruit is melomel. Only apple mead is cyser.
cookiecakemonster
know the intended audience. this is clearly for beekeeping bakers in apple orchards after the fall of society.
JohnnyMnemonic
The point was that you can make it easily without specialty stuff. If you are going to brew as a hobby of course you would not do this.
kmotalleb
everyone right now:
athousandworth
perfect.
julgran
I WANT TO GENTLY JUMP IN THERE!!
ReverendP
I'm the one on the far right. Head still tilted but reading your comment a the bottom of my screen.
Howtoast
KNEW IT
Agisek
I noticed they are turned sideways after I looked at your gif :D
ComptrollerGeneral
Rotate you're goddamn pics son!
Frisbeetime420
This is the perfect gif +1
nerdylumberjack
Done something very similar, used organes, strongly urge you to use a wine yeast.
nerdylumberjack
Ha, organes....
Epiderminator
Or:
tibicendiscordia
Yaaaaaass!!! I love that movie!!!
MrSpatula
Ctrl+Alt+Right Arrow, everyone.
AnarLape
You bastard, you know us all so well!
rainbowunicornkitten
My head IS tilted how did you know?!
IAmNotBillClinton
At first i was like "Finally my underage ass can get some mead!" (Im 20) then i realized i'll already be of age when its done -_-
NotACanadian
Happy...birthday?
IAmNotBillClinton
I love how we are both not things. We could bond over this.
Yoshiru
ATTENTION! If you want a better air-lock, get a sealed tube (instead of balloon) and run it up, over, and into an open jug of water
wearebestfwends
Out of the dozens of airlocks that I have I love using this method.
Gopvifootball
Why do you own two different brands of St. John's Wort?
JohnnyMnemonic
For science.
MakerOfBadJokes
Depression?
Gopvifootball
I know what it's used for I just wanted to know if one worked better than another in certain situations. Hence having 2 brands.
DasAngst123456
Breweries hate him!
JewishMonk
If I had started making mead when you posted this comment, it would be just about perfect by now. The breweries aren't going to care. :)
WorksGreatOnBloodStains
For this one simple trick!
GetItBecauseBalls
Using that baker's yeast is probably not the best idea. Different yeasts produce different flavors. Look online or at a homebrew shop.
gewalt
read title.
cajunbrewer
Baker's yeast will give off some terrible compounds that will taste bad and give you a headache. But, if you are desperate... whatever.
cookiecakemonster
there's the comment i was looking for! just because it's easier to do cheap bakers yeast doesn't mean you'll enjoy the results.
lpooptoomuch
As a homebrewer, this is closer to prison hooch than actual mead. Water, raw honey, and quality brewing yeast is all you need to make mead.
RageCage42
This is great, kudos to you for making this, but for $2 you could get enough brewer's yeast for several batches, plus a real airlock.
gewalt
is it in the grocery store?
shrivelledjohnson
ive seen them at safeway and superstore in Canada.
zerohunter
Whole foods carries these items, yes.
RageCage42
No, home brewing supply stores aren't tough to find...plus one of these packets is good for five gallons. http://amzn.com/B00434CB74
justbecauseimparanoiddoesntmeanyourenotouttogetme
"When the balloon is droopy, the magic has ended"... word, man, word.
bb2b
Huff :>
1Rogue
"the holes shrivel up like a butthole in cold water"
tanebou
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/013/034/yeahsciencebitch.PNG
wartoaster
But, will there be some form of liquid in the droopy balloon
MyCatPurrformsTricks
PHRASING
maddaddykenz
I loled
xRenascent
I giggled.
bb2b
That's just the nitrous
justbecauseimparanoiddoesntmeanyourenotouttogetme
That just makes it droopier :(
simpleton318
I'm in class trying not to giggle.
simpleton318
It's not working...
petetopkevinbottom
Joe's Ancient Orange Mead is a good beginner-level recipe (Source: An avid mead-er) (link below)
NotACanadian
Whatever you do, do NOT attempt to drink Joe's Agent Orange Mead.
petetopkevinbottom
Admittedly this took me a few reads, but ultimately I blew air slightly harder out of my nose
petetopkevinbottom
http://www.homebrewtalk.com/f80/joes-ancient-orange-mead-49106/
r3dsh4rk
Welp off to the store
truk77
Funny, I always hear this recipe derided on the homebrew forums, like, yeah, it works, but you can do so much better for the same effort.
Anglave
This post piqued my interest but I gather I shouldn't actually do it this way if I want a quality result. Got recommendations?
truk77
Maybe something like this (linked from Homebrew Talk forum) http://home.comcast.net/~mzapx1/FAQ/BasicMead.pdf
HailSatinGodOfFabric
This is hooch, toilet wine, pruno, jihad juice, or whatever else you want to call it but not mead...
myweaknessisstrong
Yeah, as a former prison guard, this is NOT any of those things. Honey=mead.
ImCommanderShepardAndThisIsMyFavoriteImageInTheGallery
Bread, oranges, and koolaid is how you make hooch. Legit.
myweaknessisstrong
add water and a plastic trash bag and you have the most vile beverage known to man.
strandedisland
Being fermented honey and water, it does seem to be mead. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mead
therealwootah
Actually, this isn't a mead, it's a variant of a mead called a cyser, which is a blend of apple and honey.
diddiz
The stuff in plastic bottles at the supermarket is made from water, malt and hop, but I still refuse to call it beer.
strandedisland
....ok? Beer is fermented grains. Mead is fermented honey. Not quite sure what the issue is...?
diddiz
Not everything what technically is beer or mead, does actually deserve to be called so.
torvid
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_true_Scotsman
starvingpoet
I think it's a superiority complex.
SaintMaceToTheFace
Very much so
HailSatinGodOfFabric
It is technically. But grapes toilet tank water and ketchup are also wine.
cajunbrewer
Sure, it's gonna taste like ass though. At least pony up another $2 and get some English Ale yeast. Trust me, I'm a professional.
wearebestfwends
Mead yeast is pretty great. But 1856 can do wonders.
Amtherion
Agreed. Or use wine yeast, that'll yield a higher ABV. And while you're at it boil the honey/water mix. If youre gonna do this, do it right
DarthVadersBigBluePenguin
Or 1056.
cajunbrewer
You could also make wine from grocery store grapes, doesn't mean you would want to drink it.
Byrd3790
as a professional, could you make a diy for better mead. this seems like a kickass project.
junkhacker
http://www.stormthecastle.com/mead/ this is a good start
cajunbrewer
Sure, I've been brewing/wine and mead making for a long time.
kungfuman
I'd love to see it a how-to post about it.
cajunbrewer
I've been wanting to, I'm a bit of a lazy fuck though. I just brewed a vanilla bourbon imperial porter, it's fermenting away right now.
DrOdin
can i have it please
crediblezephyre
I'll second that motion
foobgoof
same
Spelaeus
Just a couple alterations. 1) Use an appropriate wine or ale yeast. 2) Use a liquid airlock. 3) Mead needs to age. 3-12 months.
Grudgebearingmidget
What CaptainSamuelVimes said.
CopperWench
Old roommates made 'mead' in a garbage can, with no lid, sitting in the middle of their bedroom. Flies everywhere.
IamaWalrusInDisguise
You mean prison trash bag wine
truk77
Always upvote homebrewing. How long was the primary fermentation? Do you bottle condition afterwards? Also, wouldn't you get better (1/2)
chucknasty
Will it get me all fucked up??
Slartibartfaster
If you drink it enough to get little drunk it will make your insides do the polka and turn your butthole as a sprinkler for the next day.
fivefrozenfishfingers
That's all a person can ask for, really.
Slartibartfaster
Well, i guess i do have to admit that there are only a few activities that make you feel more alive.
JordanBFrye
Me and my friends used to make it this way in college. It will get you on a very different kind of buzz. My opinion of it at least.
ImPrettySure
Explain
chucknasty
Like a box of wine buzz?
JordanBFrye
Like a "laying in the middle of the parking lot laughing at the dick shapes in the stars" kinda drunk.
holymackerel
Slap the bag.
chucknasty
Tickle it first?
truk77
results if you used a yeast more suitable for brewing? (e.g. champagne or ale yeast) (2/2)
WhalesParadesandElectricity
Also leaving it in that plastic bottle isn't a great plan either. Get a glass gallon of apple juice, drink, clean, sanitize
Splinthar
Definitely different yeast leave different flavor profiles, remember when you drink booze you are drinking yeast excrement so pick carefully
embiggenator
Haha...he's making this in a water bottle with a balloon on it.
AssManProctologist
idk why I laughed so hard but I did
atleastivegotthisusernamegoingformewhichisnice
zeggitttttttttttt
I never thought there was a difference in yeast until I used the brewers yeast. It's like 87 vs 93. Way higher alcohol content.
Beelsebooob
Yes, you also want to put it in a secondary for about a year with mead. It takes a long time to mature.
shrivelledjohnson
I rarely let it mature that long. 3 months is more then enough for most.
amadeo38
Doing it half-assed like in this tutorial (wrong yeast, wrong water type, ineffective airlock) you def want to wait longer than 3 months and
shrivelledjohnson
I am friends with 2 commercial mead brewers, neither of them age it longer then 3 months. been making mead for 5 years and dont half ass it.
amadeo38
also rack it into a 3rd container after a few months, before drinking it. Plus it tastes better sparkling, so I add dextrose @ the 3rd rack
shrivelledjohnson
I would be concerned about the plastic bottle leaching bad chemicals into the liquid. Also the bottle should be sanitized at least.
[deleted]
[deleted]
shrivelledjohnson
depends on what its made from. A water bottle is not made for brewing so I could see the heat and alcohol posing an issue for the plastic.
[deleted]
[deleted]
shrivelledjohnson
pretty sure I said it depends on what the bottle is made of... acetaldehyde is one or Terephthalic acid. heat also wont help.
dunecat1337
Then this toilet wine brew method isn't for you.
ImPrettySure
...so I should stop then?
dunecat1337
Only if you hear the safe word.
truk77
I've seen the 'brew in a bottle of purified water' method before. Presumably, an unopened bottle of water should be sterile.
wheeliebarz
You are dumb
starvingpoet
There's actually many levels of sterile
Barackrifle
If all bottles of water were sterile, we'd just use them. Much cheaper
Wibblywobblytime
I've had a field sanitation course in the military, there's lots of different "sterile" and levels of contamination allowed and not allowed.
shirtlessteo
Make a big difference depending on its application (2/2)
shirtlessteo
Just because there's no contaminants doesn't mean that the water you drink is suited for hospital applications.Even hard vs soft could (1/2)
Barackrifle
I don't believe that bottles of drinking water are sterile. We use sterile water in hospitals that come in bottles saying they are sterile.
starvingpoet
Bad chemicals from bottles is a horrible, horrible myth.
daletvak
Bottles used repeatedly or subject to large variations in temperature DO leech plastic particles. The harmfulness if questionable though.
shrivelledjohnson
bad chemicals leeching into water you might be able to argue. Brewing creates head and alcohol both of which could cause issues.
starvingpoet
I can argue for both - head is nothing but water and air and food-safe plastics have no monomers that the alcohol could dissolve.
shrivelledjohnson
head was a typo, heat is what I was attempting to say.