anlyin
316560
9320
300
Expensive one.
How anteaters fill out dating bios
Wasting no time
me_irl
Hibernation time
muwka
I want that cat
ICantBelieveItsNotGif
Kinda wanna see that entire pamphlet
tomyironmane
VetteofSD
I hate how accurate that Chick-fil-a chart is...
GlassBomb
#16 is Natalie Mars
mrwigglypants
The first one really threw me off. I was wondering who the hell gives a kid biscuit mix for Halloween.
AndSewOn
Legit laughed, favorited some, downloaded a few. You earned your +1.
LifeConfessionguy1
Nice, quite enjoyable
Theinternetwasinventedforveryimportantscience
Just wait this they have to acess those manholes. It'll be another $18,000. And also a pun.
User11Name11
Seriously, though, $196000??? Am I missing something?
shorr
Longer lasting materials, salaries, equipment, all the bureaucracy behind it, possibly closing street and so on. It adds up
PmMeGifsForSauce
HmmVeryInteresting
Good dump
Tassyr
Someone explain #8. What.
Natatattatt
Cost of rerouting traffic while paint dries. This is a very trafficked area which means it will require a lot ofadditional people resources.
Tassyr
Thank you random answer person!
Bloofaux
I'm sorry how do you eat a biscuit without realising it tastes nearly two decades out of date?
dogenuggets
BBE dates are really there as a guide, I have honey with a BBE date on it, they found honey thousands of years old that's edible.
dogenuggets
If the packet was completely sealed in a sterile environment and the biscuits dry enough, they could potentially still be ok.
bignose55
It's a biscuit...let's face it, it's probably just a bit soft.
Theinternetwasinventedforveryimportantscience
Whether you're gay straittie or bi everyone likes sucking toes. What!??!
mzmzpants
No
Theinternetwasinventedforveryimportantscience
They spelled straight "str8T" and not str8 like a cool kid and then they told kids to do foot fetish stuff instead of "sex".
imAUser
May 99th 2015. Only 2.5 years expired
dogenuggets
2.5 pretty frickin' long years if there's 99 days in a month!
imAUser
Just that may in particular
appaismyspiritanimal
Withallduerespect
So uhh.... Anyone got the source on that Mario video?
StorageB
You can't post the source for that type of video on imgur, but I HIGHLY recommend you Google it.
Withallduerespect
I found it. The sound effects alone make it worth the wank
PresidentProTempore
"I'm gonna post a pic of this beer that is my favorite beer from Utah without actually putting the beer's name."
Wr200m
Some googling says its wasatch Devastator Double Bock
ilikepancakesmorethanpeople
Can confirm, from Utah and had 3 at a reception last weekend.
Natatattatt
You are correct! This brewery puts things like that on every bottle. Just think of the fun they have with Polygamy Porter...
ilikepancakesmorethanpeople
Check out 5 Wives Vodka, they have a blast with the history behind their bottles.
taconinjaahhhh
That was a fresh dump for me. Haven’t seen most of those.
limonchiki
I'm probably sound really creepy. But I believe that the Stranger Things-Kid is gonna be even prettier than now when he's grown up.
g1161
It's a given, considering he's now a relatively famous actor. And has good facial features. Also helps they dress better than 90% of people
poochyena
who is he/how old is he?
limonchiki
I think he's fourteen? I looked him up, his name is finn wolfhard; one of the main characters in Stranger Things
poochyena
14? Thats disappointing.
Grimmrog
#1, nah mate thats made so much with artifical shit and chemics its gonna last until 2099.
lordMaroza
#23 The frog might've seen something, but we still haven't seen anything.... Frickin' tease.
Cassiraa
Welcome to the internet. Enjoy your stay and get out. That frog's travels have been WELL documented, I assure you.
marshawnlynchatapressinterviewsaying
Oh, my sweet summer child...
superatheist
Yup, that tattoo does actually say that
HostelRatintheBackWithaPint
That's actually one of my friends! He had a Chinese co worker of ours translate it
AyyLmaoZedong
Cool. Just to be clear: It's a joke and was intentional, not a huge (but hilarious) coincidence, right?
HostelRatintheBackWithaPint
Oh no he wanted it like that. We didn't think he'd do it and then he showed up with it. Classic Cody.
AyyLmaoZedong
Nice.
djknetic
I tested it with Google Translate app and can also confirm. I love that app. Makes me feel like I am in Star Trek
HostelRatintheBackWithaPint
Yeah he had one of our co workers translate it for him
dogenuggets
Yes it does, until it suddenly pops up some random disturbing word off to the side where you weren't trying to translate.
Feralkyn
Lovely, laughed many times and glorious cat tax. +1 and here's to + many more OP
GregThe8lien
best cat tax I've seen in a while
tugboatcaptain
That cat looks like he guards the forest realm.
PutInaThumbnPulledOutAPlum
Srsly, that cat tho...
PinkieBlue
**with the fan on high
ArtOzz
Cant have fans on at night. Feel freeze dried by the morning. Granted I live in London, UK so cold is outside for free.
TheBeardedDragon
I've just moved to London from the North and I have to walk around in shorts while others are in scarves and hats
DepressiousOverwhelmous
Amen to that I have to have one close by to deal with tinnitus it's gonna be a cold winter
ArtOzz
Lol, has one tried an audiobook? I listen to the greats of Urban Fantasy, not a fan droning.
lilskank
If it weren't for my SO and infant daughter, I would still be running the air conditioner on high every night. Anything above 55 degrees >
lilskank
and I wake up sweating.
trinabeana23
Don’t listen! U got it correct! U sleep harder when it is cold & snuggling into warm blanket makes nesting better then it gets hot in nest
spamshampoo
You either need to lose weight or go get your heart checked
CantSleepInUnderwear
Or sleeps under some crazy ass comforter.
Phoenixfighter43
How do you sleep at night with all that noise?
BluePaladin42
It's better than the tinnitus.
CaptainBritton02
The noise is sorta the point. I can't sleep unless I have a fan or one of those sound machines that sound like rain on.
Hedgehogsareadorable
Same. Dead silence keeps me up. It's creepy
ArtOzz
Thats the modern world for you. Gotta have input or we feel unplugged and lost. Personally I embrace my socket tho.
DepressiousOverwhelmous
Same my ears ring like crazy otherwise
ArtOzz
Thats tinnitus.
SaintCuntyMcFuckOff
#15 Soo you have to suck toes while watching the sunrise.... I've been lied to for so long!
Bessity
We were given these in HS but it was an effort to prevent the spread of AIDS.
darklanser
Is she haunted because the list stops at 81 and 20 are missing?
AwkwardCouch2
And adopt an animal for them is terrible advice.
SaintCuntyMcFuckOff
"here, have this gift of many years of responsibility and financial burden!"
SomeGuyWhoSaysStuff
You have to do all 101 things one after another in that order, then you get to have sex.
Squelchtone
Oh its 101 things? I thought the pamphlet said LOL
Tinkrr
Give 'em the old "soggy piggy" you will.
Ruik
Give 'em the ol' swamp-ass sassafras.
calenturian
But only if you're gay, str81 or bi
boonearoo
I read that as straighty-one
PigMarshBetweenTwoSaltWaters
I believe that says Str8t
BeginnersLuck00
*str8t, which still doesn't make sense. It says "str - eight - t," the last t was redundant
pgdave
"Straight-y"
DarkUranium
Because it was made by this guy:
v
OctopusStinkhorn
I wondered how that nurse unlocked his phone to take the picture. But then I realized, oh yeah, she’s got his finger.
jimwormmaster
DIdn't think about that, but that's great. Bravo, sir/ma'am/attack chopper
yuugian
I do believe that most of us here identify as a bundle of sticks
LordSethos
did you just assume my gender?
TheBlackVan
We assume you ride a motorcycle, Gag!
jimwormmaster
No, that's only OP. Some of us are lurkers that don't post anything, therefore never OP.
yuugian
yuugian
good point, +1 and all but... grab your locked phone and push the power button twice. Works on Android, don't know about ios
thersc
Two twists with a Motorola phone gives you camera mode when locked.
Okiegoon
Mine is home button (Android) or it also has it where I can swipe up on the screen to have the camera come up even if locked.
jackhammer0027
Also doesn't work on my LG G6 but you can take pictures while it's locked.
yuugian
that's odd, I have done it on a Samsung S6, S8, Oneplus One, Pixel 2 XL, etc. just assumed it was "Android" thing. LG does LG though
jackhammer0027
Yeah kind of weird... But also I don't see why you should be able to unlock a phone without the code anyway. Seems like terrible security
5P4C3M4N
I wil never understand people that don't put a case on their phones
ElbowdeepinaBulbasaur
We like to live on the edge
poochyena
no case on my phones and I've never broke it. I literally don't know what you people do to your phones to even break it like that
duperdolt
The point is to make sure all your friends know you bought an iPhone, not an Otterbox.
chefryank
I'm curious on how they threw 1k away
justsomeyahoo
One reason are kids who wear it as a badge if honor(for some reason), as well as the fact they didn’t buy their phone so it has no value 1/
justsomeyahoo
To them. I used to sub middle school and I had kids essentially make fun of me for having a phone case while proudly displaying their 2/
justsomeyahoo
Shattered phones.
TitaniumMonkeyBalls
My 5s would overheat inside a case. Not sure if newer ones are better or worse in that regard.
DazzlingCockroach
I've never used a case, and only ever replaced my phone because it became obsolete. And I don't mean that a new version came out.
clutchthepearls
I will never understand people that have to put a case on their phones.
McTerminator
Well ya see when your company pays for your phone and they don't supply a case ya take some risks
tXereas
Ironically, the only time ive ever broken a phone was when I was pulling my car keys out of my pocket and they somehow got caught on 1/2
tXereas
Part of the case and my phone went flying out. Cracked the screen pretty good
DrGlug
Had something similar, dropped my phone at a petrol station, the phone popped out of the case when it hit the ground and cracked the screen
dogenuggets
Sorry for what happened but that was quite funny.
ElbowdeepinaBulbasaur
We like to live on the edge
LiamNeesonOfficial
The Otterbox, at store, is over $50. You just financed a $1,000 phone. You got nothing left.
Lickenziedickens
I will never understand people that buy iphones to begin with. I have no idea how many times I have dropped my G5. Nothing ever cracks.
DasOgre
I've dropped a caseless iPhone down cement stairs with only a couple scratches on the corners
bignose55
I have a 5s that's fallen out of my pocket while driving along at 30mph. Couple of scratches and a corner is chipped, but nothing 1/2
bignose55
spectactular. It all depends how you drop it really.
StopStaringAtMyUserNameItsVeryShy
The excuse I've heard is that cases don't help with iphones so it's not worth the money
justsomeyahoo
As someone who destroyed many a brick and flip phones and now owns an iPhone with a case-it makes a huge difference. Though I buy good cases
justsomeyahoo
My iPhone lasted the longest of any phone I owned at 2 years.
samvimesbootstheory
That is not true. I have an iPhone for work and the OtterBox case has saved that damn thing so many times.
StopStaringAtMyUserNameItsVeryShy
I know it's not true. Just saying what I've heard.
DasOgre
You can't just make shit up
TheBurritoConfederacy
Here's an idea: Don't sit on your damn phone.
TheBurritoConfederacy
Note: That's a figurative "you" not you in particular, OP.
StarkeRealm
ObiWanShalomi
Looked up lolnein, funny comics yo.
StarkeRealm
Oh god, I hadn't checked to see the original source of this. The bonus is fucking hilarious.
ObiWanShalomi
Ikr :D I like how the bonus panel is placed below the other panels so you don't immediately read the next (even funnier) joke.
Ulthirm
I don't put a case but i put glass protectors on glass for sure. (My phone gets too hot in a case and shuts off and too poor to bother payin
Ulthirm
For a new phone that is over priced when icould just wait until my phone eventually breaks and have decent phones at decent price.
dogenuggets
What's the point of all the fuss of style and design with phones if all you're going to do is hide it in a case?
Grimmrog
I never understood why phones are build that need a case. Sound slike crappy engineerign for me.
Casper12315
It's so they can milk you for more money.
tarataqa
They hope you drop them so that they shatter and you buy another.
DasOgre
You know how big and bulky they would be if they were built to never break?
Grimmrog
as big and bulky as they are with the cases and protection glass we put on anyway after we buy them?
DasOgre
Have you seen how big and heavy rugged laptops are vs how small a case to carry a laptop is? Rugged phones don't fit in pockets
Grimmrog
neiother do soem if the newly invented sizes, but duunno my galaxies S whatever + a protection fitted well in any pcoket, so what?
SinisterScienceLesbian
They want you to spend more money.
Grimmrog
I would spent more moeny anyways for a porperly designed mobile. I just want a proper built Samsung Wave S8500 like case again. Sturdy metal
Grimmrog
dropped multiple times and didn't break like a dropped a fragile glass plate. 100s of dollars but no proper 50bucks case? shit design it is.
SinisterScienceLesbian
Right, but the people who would buy an iPhone either spend the $50 on a case or the $1000 for a replacement. They're designed to break.
Nikolai5
I've never had a case on my phones. Never broken any of them.
thelonepig
Same here! But I did break the corner of a tablet once. But I've never shattered a phone.
DeniseReade
Adulting done right. Can you tell me how to not explode hotdogs when I microwave them?
SparklingCockWaffle
Stab them with a fork in a few places. And rotate half way through
Railgun01
Sound advice from SparklingCockWaffle
KrampusCopia
Also for best results wet a paper towel and wrap the dog in it. This works best for stuff like cheddar brats
Gargamellow
Soon. You are cursed now.
PutInaThumbnPulledOutAPlum
Ikr? Should've never SAID IT OUT LOUD
Nikolai5
Well I'm never using my phone again...
dogenuggets
Same here, and after 2 years I give them to my gf and she doesn't break them in the next 2 years.
glassweaver
I'm physically fit and have no outstanding health problems, yet I still buy insurance for myself.
jim71989
I thought your user name was Nokia. That would've explained alot
EnergyFiend
That's like owning a car and not getting car insurance because you've never got in a car accident before...
Nikolai5
I wouldn't know what that's like as we are forced to have car insurance in the UK. I don't have any other form of insurance though.
behindtheblack
At least you're consistent.
dogenuggets
Don't know why you were voted down for a fact. You can't drive without insurance in the UK and if you do you can get in a lot of trouble.
Wr200m
otterbox defender, I could chuck the phone across my yard and it would still be fine. Love those things.
ballpeenX
Otter box commuter here. Not as protective but fits my shirt pocket.
DeniseReade
Dude. I've dropped my S8 so many times even I'm surprised it's not broken. Otterboxes work.
glassweaver
I routinely throw my pixel at things just to freak people out. I'll second how awesome the defender series is.
MusterTheRohirrim
Do you carry your phone in your pocket? Even though those cases are amazing, I've always found them to be too bulky to fit comfortably :/
GoldenSun3DS
I carry my Note 8 in its Otterbox Defender case in my pocket. It fits just fine.
Wr200m
yup, and its note 4. Ive never noticed an issue with the bulk. I wear regal non tight jeans if that makes a difference.
ObiWanShalomi
i wer regal jons ery gud
MusterTheRohirrim
Interesting, thanks!
Wr200m
*regular
MeredithHasBeenExposedToRabies
I'm going to start calling them "regal" from now on. I also have a Note 4, in an OtterBox Defender. Back-pocket carry. Love it.
AheagoAmigo
Cuz after spending a few hundred, trading in an arm & leg and selling your soul for the new iPhone there isn't much left for a case.
glassweaver
You can get a nice looking case and screen protector for under $5. Then again, you can get a good, nice looking phone for under $1,000 too.
Flenop
I'm sure you have just as little to spend on a whole other phone. Don't be a fool, protect your tool!
PutInaThumbnPulledOutAPlum
Nah, Amazon otter boxes dirt cheap.
AheagoAmigo
Sold one to a utility worker, came back a couple weeks later thanking me for pressing him to get one. He dropped his phone off a water tower
luisa7
If you’re going to spend that much on a phone, you can afford a case. If you can’t, reconsider your choices and get a cheaper phone.
AheagoAmigo
I sold cell phones for a couple years. After all is said and done a lot of people don't want to tack on a case after phone purchase
IShootBirdsAtTheAirport
'Fan on medium' one hits close to home. The little things really start to matter as the years drag on...
Foxyrain
The sound of the fan at night, or any droning white noise, literally gives me a panic attack. I need dead silence to be able to sleep
Cyyyy
And medium, too, not high, because I get paranoid that it will break because it's spinning too fast. Even though I'm pretty sure it won't.
GoldenSun3DS
I sleep with a fan and a blanket...
fnhngest
do y'all use fans all year round?? i only use it the hottest weeks of summer.
butlerfetish
I have hellish tinnitus after a concussion a few years ago, so a fan is a blessing for white noise, but I also just don't like still air.
tzxAzrael
the breeze and "white noise" often help people sleep better, at any time of the year.
ThomKlanc
We have our air conditioner basically running year round. Every night has white noise and the perfect temperature for blankets
EggFooYung
Yes. So much yes.
ThomKlanc
Not to mention it's basically necessary with my air-cooled PC. That thing's a furnace
AndSewOn
My fan died a month ago and I've not slept well since.
michonnedisapproves
Move to England and you'll never have to suffer decent weather ever again
magpie88
this made me snicker +1
JRMcLaren
Shoot.. I'm only 20 but there are few things that make me more comfortable than the sort of white noise from a fan while sleeping.
shmekie
Wait til you get to be my age. You'll have a humidifier and ergonomic pillow, too.
sloshythomas
Im 24 and already there!
HonestBendersOrphanarium
Got a white noise machine. Best thing I ever did and that includes getting married.
NoSleepTilBrooklyn
Last month I bought a memory foam, v-shaped body pillow. It's glorious. When you're middle aged, it's the little things that make you smile.
EZMONEY98
and an extra pillow for between the knees
AuryxBecauseWhyNot
I'm from Washington, attending the Uni of Kansas on scholarship. I have not turned off my fan since I arrived.
RandyMarshThoughtThisWasAmerica
I keep mine on low in the winter and medium with the ceiling fan in the summer.
hyperkatt
I flip the ceiling fan rotation in winter but it's gotta be on at least low. I like air circulation.
RandyMarshThoughtThisWasAmerica
I never felt like the reverse rotation actually made a difference. I use a stand-up fan, so it moves a lot of air anyway.
hyperkatt
I can tell XD. Plus it's rather cold in the winter in Sweden. It actually does help keep the room a more even temperature.
dormantmutant
I don't get that one. Could someone explain?
eagle193
The person with the fan was over that relationship far before the breakup, it seems.
BluePaladin42
Maybe the Ex wouldn't let them have a fan running higher than low?
Flenop
There's a lot of possible interpretations. One is that the ex wouldn't allow it. Another is akin to "how can you sleep..." "like a baby."
Flenop
The important thing is that the response is basically saying "Better without you."
TsukariYoshi
Rewritten: "How do you sleep while ignoring Nice Guys™" "Like I do every night."
tzxAzrael
tbf, it could just as easily be a girl. no real indicator which.
TsukariYoshi
I have literally never seen a female equivalent to the "I'm a Nice Guy™ who would treat you how you DESERVE, m'lady" trope.
tzxAzrael
"baby i just wanna give you the world! (coz you got a nice paycheck and all.)" and/or Nice Guy™ can be matched by Nice Girl™
BishlamekGurpgork
With a white noise app set for rainfall. I set the 'incipient tunder' to random, 2-5 minutes, and 'thunder crash' 3-8 minutes, low volume.
heartlessninja6
And what device/app are you using? Asking for a friend..
ApolloTheSpaceFox
Idk what app he's using but, it sounds very similar to A Soft Murmur app
reallyjuststandinghere
That's a good one, the rainymood app isn't terrible either but I have listened to it so many times all I hear is the loop ending now.
BishlamekGurpgork
Laptop, at this website. https://www.ambient-mixer.com/ It's got a lot of presets you can remix, but if you make an account, you can also
ThatWhichLurksWithoutPants
.
SuperBeetle76
Whoa this is quite incredible. Thanks
BishlamekGurpgork
It's a fantastic site. Welcome. :)
Elorex
.
DukePony
.
Elorex
.
BishlamekGurpgork
mix your own. Things like rainfall, fire crackling, coffee-shop voices, and rivers, waterfalls, or beaches are all good for drowning out
BishlamekGurpgork
distractions while you study.