PeteIRL
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How we found out. Yes, that's a carrot and knife in my hands. I was chopping veg for dinner when I was told!
In the early days, we did not know what to expect. We found ourselves in this position quite a bit!
Out of the two of us, I struggled to keep the secret from friends. I was practically bursting at the seems to tell somebody!
This particular item became an essential shopping item. Why? Those of you who know why… know why! :|
Week 12 and the wife is carrying a legume. But never the less, we were well chuffed!
Insomnia...
...and food aversions. Some of the wonderful side-effects of pregnancy!
Along with the nausea and insomnia come more…. positive developments!
Christmas came and so did the first sign of a bump! The dogs? Granny’s braindead cockers.
Swings and roundabouts. Pregnancy plays havoc with the hormones. So I’ve witnessed!
Sometimes the most innocuous task can elicit the most SUPER SERIOUS reaction. Seriously. No laughing matter. Seriously.
Sometimes that little thing in your belly just wont play ball.
Not every day goes well, and sometimes pregnancy can take it’s toll.
Pregnancy is carte blanche to solo every. Single. Bit. Of. Food.
Apparently listeria can live in blue cheese. So it becomes the FOOD OF NIGHTMARES while pregnant. PANIC!
Space became premium. DVDs had to go. The collection was extensive. I was losing my children for an actual child.
One of the more amusing side-effects of pregnancy!
Eventually, this started happening. It has never stopped.
I am reliably informed that this feels incredible.
And then some things about pregnancy are just plain weird.
So, two X chromasomes means biologically female. I did not know this when we were told by the technician. Confused and trying not to look that way.
And it’s true. This really is a mind-blowing feeling.
It’s incredibly easy to lose the run of yourself and BUY ALL THE THINGS
I’ve seen some things in that workshop, man. Some things I can never unsee.
The options are limitless. As are the prices! Vorsprung durch Technik!
Baby brain is fun for all! Who witness. So very difficult to not lose my shit laughing.
One of us toasts nicely, the other is likely to burst into flames. Guess which one’s which.
This was remarkably fun. Like personalising your workspace… but a workspace that’ll bring you lots of joy. And cover you in pee.
And the Braxton Hicks kick in. When the pain hits, you forget the name of things…
At 40 weeks, patience was wearing thin. But somebody was just too comfortable!
The only time in a pregnancy when you’re actively encouraged to toke on a pipe!
And after 41 weeks and 24 long hours of labour, she finally decided to join us!
The final two pages of the diary. Thanks for taking a look!
Nogha
+1 for not giving me a terrible twist ending
NikiBacon
Congrats on the sex
plaiddyyy
This is perfect. ❤
ThatIsCertainlySomething
I love this style. Also: you got mooned by your kid before she was even born. That kid's going places.
narwhalhosting
1000 times better than What to Expect When You're Expecting
TheBeardedManOnTheMountain
I don't think walter white should be having anymore kids
KarmaK9
This is so cool! Much better than the half filled in baby books my kids have... ;)
whiep
I love this! Congrants on the baby :-) I currently have a teeny little parasite in my womb, my 2nd, and this was oh so relatable!
SnuggleTits
I finally figured out the day month year system was being used.
KingNova
For real: This would be a nice guide for expecting parents
SihayaOfTheAllPowerfulMeh
How could you not know xx and xy?
StarkRG
There are several things that I can't imagine how people go through life without knowing. They tend to be better off than I am, so I dunno.
notactuallyfixed
http://www.marcofolio.net/images/stories/fun/imagedump/baby_care/baby_care_12.jpg
SciFiFantasyGirl
LOVE this! A great idea that the baby will love to look back on when they grow up.
Missuyenie
My husband and I are trying for a baby. This warms my heart knowing men can be equally excited for a baby. Congrats to you and your wife
agreyworld
I was shaking like a leaf in our scans, she was hardly even worried. At all! The nurse laughed at me.
GreyNotGray
Of course we can!!!! :DDD
TattooedWife
I didn't have the crazy mood swings BUT I was always one snide comment away from crying. Husband "joking" (read:being an insensitive...
TattooedWife
Prick) could bring me to tears. Like, i say I need to shower and he calls me stinky (even though he can't smell... AT ALL!) I'd cry.
TravisKOP
are you Moby??
choosingausernameistheworst
Are you a professional illustrator/artist or just really good? This is awesome!
PeteIRL
I work as an animator for Disney
IWishIWasABlackJew
She only took up bed space when she was pregnant? I don't believe you OP
kibbypie
My hubby is the kind who will take up 2/3 of a king size. 6 mos pregnant and I'm trying to get 1/2 the bed.
kibbypie
My hubby is the kind who will take up 2/3 of a king size. 6 mos pregnant and I'm trying to get 1/2 the bed.
kivalo
That damned body pillow... My wife is 7 months and I'm down to 1/3 of a king sized bed. And she's 4'11" 95lbs pre-pregnant.
xToolmanx
Can we get an irl pic and compare the drawings?
Ghost6503
I was disappointed when he didn't put one at the end
zacarroll
Same here!
ifyouarereadingthisyouwillsooncometotheconclusionthisisnothing
Wifes At 15 weeks as of today. The fun part Is almost over ಥ_ಥ
JessThe2ndBestt
Noo the end is great for a lot of people! All the rolls and kicks were AMAZING
narsbee
Omg it's just begun! Second trimester is the best! Also the craziest sexy times for my hubs and I..I wish you two the same hormone burst!
ifyouarereadingthisyouwillsooncometotheconclusionthisisnothing
Thanks looking forward to the sexy time
legofham
Congrats! I saw many of those stages my wife had to endure in the past few months... and as of Wednesday I now have a son!
haylatte
Congrats to you!! Praying for good health and a good life for your baby c:
legofham
Thank you very much, all good so far...
yadingus
I became a mommy on Friday! I hope you're getting more sleep than I am -___-
legofham
Every good night seems to be followed by a bad night with us, but it is when I go back to work and we cant rotate our sleep it will hurt...
legofham
Just hang in there, get sleep when you can, don't try and do too much, and accept help when offered. It is totally worth it!!
DreamCatcher01
That was really cool. Thanks, OP.
themostirreleventnameintheworld
Todayopwasareallycoolguy.josephstalin
TempeGuy1991
This is great, really well done OP. Congrats on the new Baby Girl!
UncleBuckFutter
Seriously, doesn't anyone on this site know the difference between "it's" and "its"?
buttdog
spoiler alert man.
ThatGuyWithAnEye
It looks like he had a blast making this!
professorfuzz
Member for almost 3 years and this is their first submission (no comments either)... that is some very patient lurking
SilentMoon
Or just plain busy with the new baby.....
Gfunkallstar
Babies don't take 3 years
murderhobbit
Not after they officially start, at least
lookatmeimmrmeeseeks
why do you need to toke on a pipe? you mean weed?
JacketOff
commenting for curiosity
agreyworld
Nitrous-oxide, i.e. gas and air. Default pain relief here in the UK for labor.
ktmclrn
They give gas and air (nitrous oxide I believe) to ease pain during labor
maymay1588
Interesting. I haven't heard of using that during labor, only epidurals. I am referring to America, so it might be different elsewhere.
iamagrocerybag
Default pain relief in the UK
agreyworld
Epidurals are seen as quite a big procedure in the UK, I think. Most people try use gas and air first unless they really want an epidural.
lookatmeimmrmeeseeks
ohhhhhh ....he made it seem like they had her smoke weed XD
DoesYourDaddyHaveADrinksTrolley
It certainly feels that way on the receiving end. I told everyone I could see smells, and I begged my doctor for a gas and air prescription
LoopStricken
That's the joke.
zackofspades
OP- may I have an explanation of the 'Baby Brain Engaged'...?
narsbee
Once told my hubs to put the load in the washer in the dryer. Turned out I never put the load in the washer, just ran machine w dirty
Momof2needsabreak
Baby or pregnancy brain is kind of like becoming absent minded. You forget things or can't think clearly. Its very frustrating.
DoesYourDaddyHaveADrinksTrolley
An example to go with your other explanations: I forgot my kid brother's name. A lot. Sometimes it wasn't too bad - I'd call him Cody/Coby
DoesYourDaddyHaveADrinksTrolley
Instead of Corey. Other names he got called by included: Michael, Tom, Logan, Brody, Jason. Hannah. He was living with me at the time too.
WaterBeater
Pregnancy brain is the most frustrating thing ever...I would lose my train of thought...mid sentence ...a lot...
CinematicLaura
So I'm 3 months pregnant.The other day,I hit my husband's car...in the driveway...backing up. I'll save the rest for dignity but...yeah.
CinematicLaura
*note* his car was NEXT to mine. The struggle is real friends.
toriapinklotus
Thank goodness for the happy ending! Congrats!!
letmeslipintosomethingmoreFreudian
Yes! I was expecting a "small bump" (song by ed sheeran) type of thing to happen!
Zentri
+1 for knowing your pain and joy. Congrats!
wherearemytesticles
Congrats on the sex!
hiphopbookshop
I can't relate to all of this but my brother told me really early on about my first nephew. Keeping secret from rest of fam was so tough
sturmicide
Really though...pregnancy brain is a thing. My lady had just got done cooking on the stove top and with it still hot she set a brand new
sturmicide
Gallon of milk on the burner and burned a hole into the plastic then panicked and picked the milk up and twirled around the kitchen looking
sturmicide
For anything to put under it to catch it all. We ended up having 8 cups of milk with cling wrap on them all sitting in the fridge. Still
sturmicide
Makes me laugh and her mad everything I bring it up. (Which isn't that often but just enough to remind her.)
SomebodyStoleMyCarRadio
Can someone explain why women are encouraged to smoke when they're pregnant longer than 40 weeks? I know 40 weeks is to term but...?
Showsyerhaggis
Baby's all like "shit man, don't boggart that thang"
TonyDreamer
You ask the right questions
justsherlocked
I.... don't know. Commenting to be enlightened.
thisusernamehadbetternothavebeenchosenalready
I need to know about this too
karliefries
Why does it make you feels goood?
Avanah
Yeah gas and air. Had a good 10 hours on it myself. It doesn't take the pain away but it makes you high as a kite so you don't really care.
katie3721
I assume that since the baby is fully developed, it doesn't really harm the baby? maybe?
SomebodyStoleMyCarRadio
I can see that, but it doesn't explain why it's encouraged per say
katie3721
Maybe the pain/stress relief?
MrHamsterPenis
Right. Because once a person is born, smoking is no longer harmful.
novaprice
commenting to come back to when someone can explain
ssmelodies
Gas and air are a type on pain management used during labour.
Ichigokitty555
In the uk we call it n-tanox , had it during my appendicitis, it feels great, like short bursts of morphine without the sicky feeling
TheSisko
Marijuana is a natural pain reliever in labor. Discouraged in the US outside of homebirthing circles, but it's effective.
thewildplum
Shockingly effective from what I've seen. I was skeptical but I saw a woman toke and OM her way thru labour like it was a hot yoga class.
Avanah
I used to smoke waay before pregnancy, and thought many times during 56h of labour how it would have helped me so much.
NillaWafers03
It's actually oxygen, from being in labor. They will give you oxygen, especially if the baby's heart rate is slowing during contractions.
frostedflakesaregrrrrrreat
I think he means nitrous oxide for pain.
ConfessorOfTruth
Yes. This explains the stoned hippie look lol
StandardDeviant
I'm not technically a doctor, but I think it's to cut off the blood supply to the baby the "encourage" it to evacuate the premises
StandardDeviant
Jesus Christ can you people fucking read? I said I'm not a doctor.
mousecove
So you just straight up make stuff up based on insane assumptions?
BeeswaxNotYoursInc
Gas and air as he called it in the drawing is actually a type of pain relief for women during childbirth, not tobacco!
SomebodyStoleMyCarRadio
And are they encouraged to smoke tobacco, or the reefer? lol
DougForcett
I'm pretty sure the "pipe" he's referring to is nitrous oxide which is sometimes used in place of a traditional epidural.
Pigeonseed
I think it's been around longer than epidural in some places. You stay mobile and less likely to have Caesarian or ventouse etc.
SomebodyStoleMyCarRadio
I seeeee
agreyworld
Epidurals are not really seen as routine here in the UK (though they are common). Gas and air is the "traditional" option.
den87
Prune Juice??
TK421isAFK
Also makes semen taste better (along with pineapple and cinnamon). It kinda helped when my then-wife had Placenta Previa.
ElleKayAre
To help poop happen.
DougForcett
lubrication
smallverysmall
Poop juice
marieray
Helps ya poop.
GittOffMee
Constipation is common because peristalsis slows so the body is able to absorb more nutrients.
goobergrape
And also due to high levels of progesterone, and the GI tract being squished. The more you know! (student midwife) :)
leumasmc
A warrior's drink.
bigstupidjellyfish
http://38.media.tumblr.com/d26660e7164475e7ef8a07b3eb158ac2/tumblr_mhgwvywDbu1qji4w1o1_400.gif
MSB3000
Was looking for this, +1
HogwartsAlumnus
constipation.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Huh... I don't... yeah ok.
yearofthegasleak
Yep. That symptom nobody tells you about until you're actually knocked up.
Amalthea22
I was in early labor for about 10 hrs before I realized it wasn't just constipated. By 41 weeks, regular poops are a blessing.
Pankuthankoo
But...it looks like it's for him. I'm guessing stress made him constipated?
HogwartsAlumnus
Nah, he's holding it for her because she's gagging from either drinking/smelling it
MrPickins
My wife is 3 days overdue with our first. I can verify the accuracy of this post.
ominousdusk
I hate the due date thing it causes stress. It's just an estimate. most babies come between 38-42 weeks they picked 40 as the middle week.
agreyworld
Ours was a week early!
h20son1586
my wife is currently at 38 weeks, I can identify
MrPickins
Just to clarify for everyone, I only mentioned "overdue" as a way to say that she's gone full term. And yes, we've had sex, gone for walks.
ronswansonisthereasonihaveadadfetish
Due dates are notorious for being inaccurate. Give the babe some time.
h20son1586
my wife is currently at 38 weeks, I can identify
officerjt
I was induced at 20 days over due date, turns out my body won't go into labor I've had to be induced all 3 times.
underpantswizard
I was 2 weeks. And fat.
anarchivist
Good luck to you! It's gonna be fun!
kivalo
Go have sex.
LadyWidebottom
I was 8 days overdue with our first, and ended up being induced. And then, she couldn't get out fast enough. She was out within 8 hours.
ashtonn4
I'm so jealous...sitting so uncomfortable unable to sleep in the hospital atm...induction started about 7 hours ago and I feel nothing :(
LadyWidebottom
:( Mine started 3 hours after they put the tape in and I was in agony. It'll all come good soon!!!
villlllle
We went nine days over, soon two years ago. At least the dude grew big and strong in the tummy.
plainoldfool
My wife just started the second trimester of offspring number 3. Definitely accurate.
TattooedWife
I was 6 past due. It will be so soon!
ElleKayAre
I was 11 days past my due date when we finally evicted my son. Be patient with your wife... those were the worst 11 days ever! lol
RachaelPassive
I think I was over 2 weeks late, something like that lol, I was supposed to be born in late jan. but my birthday is feb. 15
DrawMeLikeAFrenchGirl
"evicted" lol
ohdeepthought
I was meant to be a Halloween baby I just stayed inside for the next week and a half and got evicted still inside my amniotic sack :)
TheBioluminescence
Walking helps! Take a long walk together and the little fart should pop out soon after.
madamjiggy
And a relaxing bath
agreyworld
My wife could barely walk lol. Stupd SPD.
iwearabunnysuitthecleanroomkindnottheplayboykind
I went 3 weeks late with my son, 2.5 with my daughter. We were monitored closely and let nature take it's sweet time. Worked for us.
ominousdusk
Im surprised doctors "let" you go that late without freaking the fuck out. they act like your baby is going to die if you try to go past 41
Flyndaran
I was a bit more than 3 weeks late. My soft spot was the size of a quarter and I started screaming before I crowned. :)
iwearabunnysuitthecleanroomkindnottheplayboykind
Whoa, that's crazy! Both of my kids didn't have any signs of being post-date, just perfectly baked babies. In my uterus-oven.
Momof2needsabreak
Have sex. It helps some people. I tried every trick in the book and ended up induced.
01111001
What if you poke the baby's head!?
Momof2needsabreak
They're born with a penis imprint, but it'll be okay because their heads are soft and you can just rub it out.
01111001
Thanks, I was worried there for a sec but since you're a mom of two, you probably know what you're talking about. +1
Joonbug
If your junk is long enough to penetrate her cervix and enter the uterus, you're probably a horse and shouldn't be sleeping with ladies.
01111001
Fuck you, I'm a centaur. I'm a man, but I'm built like a horse from the waist down.
Joonbug
Ha! Thanks for making me laugh out loud :D best response ever.