ChoklateDestiny
447220
9922
251
He's getting closer.
No homo
ANotSoMomentaryTrip
I just wanna say that circle is really well cut.
PatrasNana
I'm 56 years old and I've NEVER bought a cart full of groceries for $20.
thecalendarhungitself
It really makes me sad when people destroy books for any reason :(
Fejerro
Is that gay porn, gaysexistheanswer? People might think you're gay if you post things like that, gaysexistheanswer.
BalmDeBono
I follow gaysexistheasnwer on Tumblr, he's one of the best!
engraced
It's not an adjective; it's a predicate nominative.
MagicalMorpheme
It would have to be a noun, pronoun, or gerund if it was a predicate nominative.
senpaiplease
How the *dolphin noise* are ya pat?
HowTheDolphinNoiseAreYa
No. How the dolphin noise are you, senpaiplease?
TheSaber0ne
We're becoming self aware.
HockeyKong
So is Erode a pun on Eros? Because in terms of melon scratchers thats a honeydewdle.
Flyith2
Nick
OMG YOU'RE RIGHT! wow i'm not smart
BobLoblaw3
"I bread who I bread"
IAmBlind
I bred who I bred. Sounds like an interesting Scifi book.
SealandIsARealCountry
I loaf who i loaf
silvermorph
Umm, I can change the volume of the voice in my head. Just imagine listening to a voice far away instead of one between your ears.
Weeshwa
Reads dolphin one, looks at comments for explanation
TemporaryUzername
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4V4ygek10Y
Pusilanimous
oooooh
oneeyedirishman
It could ERODE
Ahrnoc
There was an episode of SpongeBob where they learned swear words and when they said it it was censored with dolphin noises.
Ahrnoc
I am proud of myself for knowing this.
jimicos
Banana51292
As someone who was working in a grocery store in 1998, you are correct.
jimicos
As someone who was shopping in grocery stores in 1998, I know.
NickDixon
Interestingly if you adjust using the CPI, minimum wage has about the same purchasing power today as in 1998. It's 17 cents too low
INamedMyCatRickyAfterASkidRowSong
I work at Hot Topic..that's the messiest store I've ever seen. Also, extremely true.
TheDemonCrowley
Yes, extremely. Also, yes, there are a bunch of messy Hot Topic stores I've been to. Most likely because it's so popular.
keerawrr
the dolphin one reminded me of spongebob when he swears.
Taki0980
THAT'S IT! THAT'S THE ANSWER! YOU BEAUTIFUL PERSON YOU! <3
Carpedicks
That's literally the joke
Efreeti
I can change the volume of the voice in my head. I just imagine the audio peaking to make it louder, and muffled to make it quieter.
tathrok
Yeah me too. I've always controlled it.
Zombraina
If I want to increase the volume in my head, I just think in a Dalek voice.
Snaitf
https://www.ratemds.com/doctors/?specialty=psychiatrist
Zombraina
xToolmanx
The answer to the hipster one is "Converse" if anyone is wondering
RagnarHammer
I'm British, so I read it as 'they plimsoll'!
TheRealDurdan
I got converse all stars, then I realised my mistake...I was too literal.
tathrok
THANK YOU. I was like... White Chuck Taylor...?
Makemineaspicedrumandapplejuice
What the hell is hot topic? And who in the picture made them go?
SomebodyStoleMyCarRadio
Chain of American stores in shopping malls. They sell "punk" "goth" etc things like band t-shirts, studded accessories, pop culture merch, >
SomebodyStoleMyCarRadio
CDs, body jewelry, and the like. Popular with teens and preteens. The girl furthest to the right at the counter in the flannel shirt is >
SomebodyStoleMyCarRadio
the one who made them go in. You can tell from said shirt and her "emo hair."
SanguineUmbra
Its a store in malls tha known for selling emo, scene, and goth stuff. Popular with "dark, edgy, and unique" teenagers in America [1/2]
SanguineUmbra
I'm assuming the one who made them go in that picture is the girl behind the monitor, with the long reddish hair and sideswept bangs. [2/2]
RustBeard16
About the pooping day one, would you get really fat up until your pooping day then go from like 300lb to 140lb in one day?
SyntKei
WeightWatchers.
idontevenknowsillymonkey
According to a random result on Google, we poop an average of 360 lbs a year.
RustBeard16
Could you imagine shitting 360lb of waste in one sitting, assuming your asshole isn't expanding to manhole size, that is one long turd.
idontevenknowsillymonkey
I'd have the most relaxing shower afterwards.
AceOfShovels
Even a manhole sized turd would be long
RustBeard16
Anyone care to do the math on the length of 360lb of turd for normal diameter vs manhole size?
AppiusClaudius
Assuming a density similar to water, and a diameter of 3 cm, the length of 360 lbs (160 kg) of feces would be about 75 ft (23 m). (1/2)
soboyra
Read titties in the title... was disappointed to find no titties in the post.
onecupshort
First picture behind the girl's head in the right...I swear it's boobs.
f4m0us4m0s
Thanks for saving me the 10 minutes it would have taken to read the rest of the post! +1
[deleted]
[deleted]
GrimnirTheGreat
...you weren't kidding
MadEyeRix
At work, not sure if serious. Risky click ahead.
ChoklateDestiny
Sorry to dissappoint. I here google has some insider information as to where you can find some top choice boobras.
hatefist
Bing or gtfo.
JapanGuyJoe
i feel like everyone knows you're right about bing being better for porn but imgur's collective hatred for not-google is too powerful
ShitSampleFiend
Why is bing better for porn? Do people still search for specific porn via their browser rathet than just using pornmd?
JapanGuyJoe
idk man ive never actually tried it but there's a post that ends up on the front page sometimes about how bing is better for porn
hatefist
Ha, I did not think this would have been controversial. Now it's my worst rated comment.
Kiwi31415
thelonepig
I thought it was a gay pride thing... I loaf who I loaf. Like love, but doughier.
Raithul
Only Americans call Sweet Potatoes "Yams" as far as I'm aware, a yam is a different thing altogether. That is a picture of a sweet potato.
Kiwi31415
This is what I know as a yam: http://static2.stuff.co.nz/1312232535/072/5374072.jpg
WeShallDoubleOurEfforts
"Hurt" is also a verb, you smug dipshit.
TheRealDurdan
I'm pretty sure it's only a noun or a verb
LofferLogge
But it's being used as an adjective, so it doesn't really matter that it can also be used as a verb.
WeShallDoubleOurEfforts
In each of those sentences, it could be read as a verb.
LofferLogge
It would have to be hurting for it to be a verb in those sentences.
[deleted]
[deleted]
LofferLogge
That link shows that "will be" "are" and "were" require "hurting."
Thekingofbeans
The verb in those sentences was the implied "to be."
suihcta
That's the first verb, but the second could be 'hurt'. As in "l was hurt by Jack." It's called past participle, and the voice is passive.
Gonnaderpya
Tbh with the dobby thing I'd assume he would think anyone the malfoys absolutely hated would be a wonderful person
stegosaurusismyfavoritedinosaur
Also the Malfoys must have had non-death eater visitors before Voldemort came back because they were pretty high society wizard folk
grovberg
They make it pretty clear that the elves socialize with one another, so it seems likely he heard from the Hogwarts elves.
TheRealDurdan
Even elves that are under a different master?
thecreepingchaosinmymind
How the -three dolphins- are you?!
heartbreakeryougotthebestofme
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4V4ygek10Y
thecreepingchaosinmymind
I know, just amused by it. Good looking out though, fam.
heartbreakeryougotthebestofme
Ah gotcha, sorry! Npnp
TemporaryUzername
so is this what the tumblr convo is referring to?
heartbreakeryougotthebestofme
Yes
SomebodyStoleMyCarRadio
Dobby was an intelligent creature capable in independent thought. He knew the Malfoys were bad. Draco probably bitched about Harry all the >
stegosaurusismyfavoritedinosaur
Also it's not like the Malfoys lived in wizarding quarantine. They mingled with "good" wizards too when Voldemort disappeared
SomebodyStoleMyCarRadio
> time, and Dobby obviously heard the stories Draco told. He can pick out the details and form his own opinion of Harry's greatness. There >
SomebodyStoleMyCarRadio
> is no need to try and turn it into some convoluted fan fic where Draco loves Harry. End rant lol
jumpingspiderkittens
No, no, no, silly, clearly it's gay sex. The end.
CatrionaShadowleaf
There is also zero reason not to.
SomebodyStoleMyCarRadio
True lol
Leonir
I feel like it's a mix between the two. Draco bitched about Harry, and also whined to himself about Harry being better than him while Dobby
Leonir
could hear him. And probably got beat whenever he was caught overhearing it.
InboxMeYourPuns
I like looking at funny tumblr images, but I hate being on tumblr. ugg there has to be a better way!
Rompy
This is the answer! Only through the Imgur shall you find salvation!
GozerTheGozerian
What do you have on your dash? Because that's what determines what you see on tumblr. All I see is video game stuff, 3d artists, and porn.(1
InboxMeYourPuns
nah I was just making an infomercial joke
GozerTheGozerian
I love it. The only way you can see the small segment of social psychos if you literally go out looking for them. So, why do you do that? (2
veronicamarsdestroyerofworlds
But...you decide what goes on your tumblr. Do you not get that? The only reason you'd see bad content is if you actively sought it out.
InboxMeYourPuns
it's an infomercial joke, see "there has got to be a better way"
iDrinkDrano
http://imgur.com/search?q=tumblr
AllForOneAndOneForAll
You gotta follow the right people
InboxMeYourPuns
it was an infomercial joke, see "there has got to be a better way"
DVeagle74
I love tumblr! So much porn!
Kahleesi
In case anyone was wondering - Satan hates all mankind. He hates that we were created in God's image and that we have the potential to (1/2)
Kahleesi
go to heaven. Christians say he is jealous and therefore will do anything to steal our souls and punish us for being like him. (2/2)
Leonir
How I heard it was that he refused to bow to anyone but God, after the angels were commanded to serve mankind. I haven't read it in a while.
iLynux
> Satan and his angels. People only end up in Hell if they are rejected by god for not being covered under the blood of Christ.
SAWhowhatnow
That's just lies and slander. Satan's always had mankind's back.
O1189998819991197253
Thanks Kahleesi
iLynux
Also it's a misconception that he rules Hell or something. He actually rules Earth. Hell is a place of torment created by god to punish >
PimpernelBlue
"Think’st thou that I, who saw the face of God, and tasted the eternal joys of heaven, am not tormented with ten thousand hells in
PimpernelBlue
being deprived of everlasting bliss?” (Mephistopheles)
Hyscylde
Hell was created to be Satan's prison, he's not its master.
NotSoSmartAlek
Indeed, Satan is the Prince of the World, and will suffer in Hell with the sinners after the Second Coming.
ImgurMontoya
Exactly. He's not the king of hell - he's prisoner number one.
MilkxandxHoneys
Then he should have no power. And if he did have power, he would still reward sinners as they fell from Jehovah. Logic: 1, fairy tales: 0.
ImgurMontoya
9 months later?Anyway Influence!=power. Also, no one is in hell right now per to the Bible, but I'm not in a debate mood. Have a good day :)
MilkxandxHoneys
Hey, Random Mode knows no time constraints. ;-) And the fairy tales don't agree on whether anyone's in hell, purgatory, or elsewhere.
imguryousuck
I wonder how any moral person could read the Bible and think Satan is not the good guy. We never hear his side of the story and he never 1/2
imguryousuck
really does anything bad beyond the Bible saying he is mean and likes torturing people 2/2
ImgurMontoya
He did kind of tempt humanity to commit the original sin against God, making it possible for every other sin to happen.
imguryousuck
If you want to go down that route, then you would say God is an asshole for punishing every upcoming human ever.
ImgurMontoya
God had no choice but to kick humanity out of the garden, because we then knew about the tree of life and possible immortality.
YouGuysCorruptedMyHumor
It isn't necessarily the actions that dictate his sin nature, but rather his choice to fall from Holiness to depravity because of powerlust
thenewgirl
paradise lost gives a really interesting side to his story
YouGuysCorruptedMyHumor
Yesssss^^
ActuallySatan
Nah you got it all wrong, that's just ignorant
harles2000
Funny, but I can't up vote you, cuz salvation.
hitlersjuicyhole
Was going to bite back until I read your username hahaha
WhorgasBored
http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_loc6duhT4C1qmn7mjo1_500.gif
GoGoGadgetFoot
I read the comment in his voice lol
MonteBurns
So.. what's up with the three dolphins? Anyone? Please?
graywacke
No one explain it.
whatthefigurativefuck
Spongebob reference I believe
MonteBurns
Yeah, the link I posted in reply to this was that clip. Wasn't sure if it was it though
Kooperatr
Patrick, how the **** are you doing?
nuggqueen69
How the flip are you
Catatata
Isnt it just how the flip are you
Islander255
I didn't get it, either. It's not as funny when it has to be explained to you :(
Xrow
I decided it meant how the flip are you. Makes sense.
benben123111
spongebob
TemporaryUzername
dis https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4V4ygek10Y
SmolToot
I thought it was "how the flip are you?"
FixedsysLabs
Hey Patrick, how the (dolphin cry) are ya! It’s from the episode sailor mouth
DeliciousIntent
i got confused because i looked up what a group of dolphins was and its pod.... im gonna go cry myself to sleep now
PopularRelatableUserName
How the flip are you
DrSpade
http://imgur.com/dSzdbnr
sandman5710
It makes me sad that so few people got that reference
KellyCrazyCatLadyinTraining
I feel u want an apology: I'm sorry I'm an adult and I have responsibilities? Like a grandmother's condo to take care of? Cats to pet? etc.
sandman5710
Why so defensive? I am an adult too. That episode aired in 2001.
MonteBurns
fine then, I'm sorry I didn't enjoy spongebob.
Metaloxin
I got it right away. All of you make me feel smart. :)
MonteBurns
Congratulations you know a show for children?
MonteBurns
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4V4ygek10Y yes or no?
Thorhees
Yes.
LolFuckInsertHere
oh my God yes lmao
WhimsicalCalamari
That would be the one.
MaladaptedMedic
The shit they got past the censors those days...
DungeonsandDragonsallGodDamDay
it from a spongebob episode. the dolphin "noise" it they're way of saying fuck or fucking
CountCrow
HOW THE FLIP ARE YOU!? HOW IS NO ONE GETTING THIS
MonteBurns
Because it's actually a spongebob reference? See the link in these comments
titicaca
British Dolphin Flip? http://images.picturesdadd">8338.jpg">http://images.picturesdaddy.com/d/dolphin_doing_a_flip-28338.jpg http://www.peevish.co.uk/slang/f.htm
thatshirtisthesamecolorasmypee
I was thinking how the fluke are you
CriscoDiscoChan
I was going with three flying fucks
StaleGale
Mrs. Crabbs!!
IndyUndead
He doesnt know how to use the three dolphins
heartbreakeryougotthebestofme
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4V4ygek10Y
derpisasderpdoes
Don't ask me, I'm still figuring out what the 3 sea shells do
MonteBurns
sell seashells by the shore?
bnjcsy
Need to do that. If you make dolphin noises instead of cursing, you will never get the demerits to wipe your dolphin noises with.
8bitdan
samthepea
I had a friend who came up with a theory of how the shells were used, I think I blocked it out so it was probably really disgusting.
kharmatika
fuck, a demolition man reference! Impressive!
Jewishua
You were at 69 upvotes, and I had a bit of a moral dilemma about whether or not to upvote you.
derpisasderpdoes
I did actually smirk to myself when I saw it.
samthepea
I had a friend who came up with a theory of how the shells were used, I think I blocked it out so it was probably really disgusting.
robotzombies
He doesn't know how to use the 3 seashells. hahahahahahhahhahahhahahahaha.
CorwinMacGregor
yes, THANK YOU *high five*
Smittybird
I looked it up once. If I remember correctly I believe they never came out with their function. Even outside the movie. :( I heart DemoMan
CoyoteTraveller
What? Yes they did. Two to pull, one to scrape. I'm sad that I know that.
aboutpaula
That doesn't sound enjoyable. Also, I've never found out how they worked so thank you. I think I would still use the fines :/
Smittybird
http://www.mtv.com/news/1715032/sandra-bullock-demolition-man-seashells/
Smittybird
I looked up years ago. I had never heard that. “Well, think of a bidet, right?” said Bullock. 1/3
Ilikefriedpickles
What the "flip" maybe?
thestandin
10/10 for effort
MonteBurns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4V4ygek10Y I'm being told it's thsi
MonteBurns
In case you missed the updates, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4V4ygek10Y
HowTheDolphinNoiseAreYa
My username is relevant! Huzzah!
SentencesThatStartWithBitch
Bitch please
butmomalltheotherkidsdoit
yeah, happened to me too in a comment about that Baltimore mom but i got there too late and only got 3 fake points. *cue dolphin noises*
KikiLebeauf
here ya go buddy *upvotes*
AwkwardPrickle
HUZZAH! :)
Quinneth
My sincere congratulations
HowTheDolphinNoiseAreYa
Thank you! It's a good day to be alive!
SentencesThatStartWithBitch
Bitch please
HowTheDolphinNoiseAreYa
SupermanForYou
SpongeBob reference. They say a dirty word and it's censored using dolphin Noises
MonteBurns
Yeah, the link I posted in reply to this was that clip. Wasn't sure if it was it though
LateNightBunnyParty
I thought it was cuz maybe someone got their marine mammals confused. (Seal is phoque in French.)
Akkiruk
I can't be the only one who instantly got it?
Gokule
You're not. These other people just have better things in their life that remembering spongebob episodes... hold me...
tooomanysteves
Ah, thank you. I'm too old.
qussow
Oooooooh. Right, that was a thing they do.
BealZBub
The only episode I ever liked.
CalmDownItsJustAGiantFlyingSpider
no no no. the dolphin noises - the dirty word.
CalmDownItsJustAGiantFlyingSpider
THAT SHOULD BE AN EQUALS SIGN. JESUS WHY.
titicaca
As a resident of the great state of Utah, I hear "flip" used as a swear word. Also "fetch," and I've stood up to get something, but what???
somedaynevercomes
thank you, I waswondering that.
Jollywally
oh thank god. See, I dont watch spongebob so I wouldnt have got that. I spend 5 minutes wondering if I am a dumbass or not.
Tagross
Is not a censor, in the last scene a horn honks and they think Mr.krabbs' mother swore, but it was an old guys old boat.
shinyRK9
you went and ruined it...
texasredheadguy
I thought it was how the pod are you which still doesn't make sense
TheBioluminescence
I'm proud because I got that.
EroticZombiePants
I remember that episode and didn't get it until now.
weganmerner
I get that SpongeBob was an awesome show but apparently everyone still watches it over the age of 9.
saltedpants
I bloody love spongebob I can't believe I didn't get that. I am ashamed.
crookednixon
TECHNICALLY (as they explain with Old Man Jenkin's car horn), the weird noises ARE the profanities in Bikini Bottom.
zackofspades
Thank you I was actually getting anxiety over that.
saltedpants
I bloody love spongebob I can't believe I didn't get that. I am ashamed.
IMadeYouDoAThing
TAHNK YOU SOO MUCH!
MonteBurns
Yeah, the link I posted in reply to this was that clip. Wasn't sure if it was it though
thehoopiestfrood
OHHH, YOU SAID NUMBER ELEEEVEEENNNNN
bnjcsy
You got over 600 fake internet points off of a reply... Doesn't that earn you some sort of medal or something?
motherfuckinmoonmoon
God bless you for knowing this for me.
BeatsBearsBattlestarGallactica
Man. I figured it out and I was gonna be so chuffed to let everyone know.
MrRandom314159
IT'S NOT A DIRTY WORD! IT'S A FANCY WORD THAT YOU SPRINKLE ALL OVER YOUR SENTENCES TO BE MORE FANCY!
Imghurrr
Oh.. I thought it was how the flip are you..
megacoral
That was my thought
t113
i see your angle
WeShallDoubleOurEfforts
Well then the "no one explain it" annoys me now, because if you don't watch Spongebob there's no way to logically deduce this.
Jacana
I've seen that episode and am familiar with it. I did not get the joke.
theManTheyCalledJayne
Especially since it's just the noise of one dolphin... but you know - details
crashmcleroy
There is no porpoise to it
ReddishRaddish
AAAAYYYYYY!
SireSteven
I love spongebob and couldn't even get it.
Leonv3x
I fucking hate Spongebob and I got it...
AllForOneAndOneForAll
Same :/
nupanick
9/10 "nobody explain it" posts are spongebob references, though. It's sort of a hint all on its own.
geriatricsanatore
They are? TIL I thought it was just a funny thing to say had no idea it's from spongebob.
nupanick
It's not from spongebob itself, it's just that the episodes worth referencing are old enough that any references tend to be hit or miss.
natabee13
I would NEVER have gotten that
YouCantKeepJetpackingAwayFromYourProblemsBrian
You are watching the wrong cartoons. (Srsly my fiance is turning 40, and I make him watch it. He knows the Spongebob references now.)
natabee13
I honestly can't stand the show :/
YouCantKeepJetpackingAwayFromYourProblemsBrian
Fair enough! It has its moments though, and people reference it so often! It's nice to understand them. :)
tathrok
Yeah, I'm not a fan of... That.
RaynSideways
It was only during one episode. The whole point of the episode was Patrick and Spongebob had just learned to swear and didn't know better.
tathrok
I understand the concept and bet it was belly laugh inducing. See my reply to @TheLoneBookworm 's above comment for context or clarity!
TheLoneBookworm
What the dolphin noise is wrong with you?
tathrok
I wish I dolphin noise-ing knew! Even though I've seen most of Archer, I have a rough time getting into cartoons. *le sigh*
mremaknu
Hey, don't foghorn swear like that. There could be seal-barking kids reading this.