MartynMage
173676
3751
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Aug 5, 2018 7:33 AM
MartynMage
173676
3751
80
Oh4FukSakes
Hits lock button on car key fob three times, still checks if it's locked.
pfsar
The long, intricate word was “security”, wasn’t it? (See the last image.)
HarbingerOfThis
Came looking for paranoia memes. Found only brilliant life hacks.
somethingawesomeandgreat
All of these are perfectly valid
iheartsbewbs
You aren’t paranoid if they really are out to get you
blueyedagger
Yup, to one too many of these.
imnotinprisonhidingaphoneinmybutt
I could fill out hundreds of these but could never share them bc people might use the information against me.
DeanOMiite
Turns off stove. Leaves for work. Turns around ten minutes later to turn off stove.
HarbingerOfThis
20 minutes if extra driving vs the house burned down? I mean, yeah.
danishjuggler21
Thank you, your new meme proposal has been submitted to Imgur for review. You should receive a response in 5 business days.
joe6paques
Verifying things before you send them makes you an Internet Hero.
BeBopALulaHelaJavlaDan
I love that paranoid parrot
LifeIsAWork
Read one thinking this is total nonsense, only a crazy person thinks this way. Read 3 more thinking, this is totally me.
geraldb
I was told that when you stop being paranoid that’s when the bastard’s get you!!
NeverConfusedForNaught
There's no escape now
IIikethecutofyourjib
As someone who works at a bank, that is EXACTLY what we do to cards. Cut em up seperate the pieces and ship em off in bags on seperate days
KickassFactsCheck
My bank suggests you do the same with your old credit cards. Even shows you where to cut the card if you don't have a shredder.
BoobsAreSoMuchFun
Typing comment so I can come back and find a cure for this in the other comments.
BoobsAreSoMuchFun
I could have just typed . (a period) but that may seem rude
GoddamnCaptchas
What the fuck. Are you me?
metalfoto
We are a paranoid majority..
Radar1980
These are too relatable. @OP clearly is spying on me.
ShyNynaeve
Entirely too relatable.
Solivoid
HalstenTorqThorkelson
Wow, these are the ancient memes of which the ancestors spoke...
imgishallbe
Didn't know I was a parrot
557365726e616d652062757420696e2068657861646563696d616c
That’s me, every single one. @OP is spying me
xerafenix
By number 3 I was looking for my anxiety meds
RainbowKing
Its called being sensible.
orientedandalert
Only use deadbolt to not lock self out, still mantra say "keys in hand" when locking deadbolt
jhawker27
Remember when this was what memes were? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
madknitterlady
I learned to double/triple check my keys before I close the front door after I locked myself out twice. Sometimes I panic if they're not
madknitterlady
in my pocket and then I see that I have them on my hand because I'm going to the bicycle storage..
RespectTheNull
Some just call it life in the first world, twenty-first century
CokedUpPancake
For #3 have multiple alarms so you'll never be paranoid that it's turned off. Also have 1 about 5min later than you get up just in case
thesatanofhell
I only set 2 alarms now so if I hear the first one I know I only have one more chance to wake up, it scares me so much that I just get up.
thisthingsibelieve
Make partner set the same alarm on their phone, just in case
TheBestRussian
Haha we do this for important things, like flights.
NeverConfusedForNaught
I like to put my devices out and say, ok Google, set alarm for 7 in the morning, and they all happily oblige
kriswinters
Types in wrong letter for password. Erases it entirely and starts over just in case.
manofmanymeats
I read that something like 90% of us do that. The other 10% I'm assuming don't use computers
pegleg7762
Having anxiety and taking meds for it, I can relate to every fucking one of these.
OnlyCommentsOnBait
That's actually just a good practice to follow, imo.
twentyteu
Well, this is just like a must, right? Right, y’all..?
ChosenChaos
If there's no "show password" option, it's generally better to start again when you mistype a character
bekkayya
fucking ssh prompts are the devil incarnate
dunecat1337
Did I press the key down all the way?
Gen15
Did this several times the past few days. Submit the login thinking I didn't press a key.. but it accepted the password. Did again to make >
Gen15
> sure that they were still checking passwords.
Mercenarity
Better than waiting five minutes cooldown if you submit too many typos.
VodkaReindeer
Insanity wolf: press enter anyway to see if I really made a typo.
OnlyCommentsOnBait
You got a chuckle out of me.
cmdebard
It me
MekaNoise
I did
whatisyourusernamed
This is so me
Hynkka
I reset only because thinking half a second back on what went wrong is too much work compared to the fact that backspace is already a reflex
BaconFutures
I have to redo the whole password because it's muscle memory and can't just fix one letter and continue.
Flyingkitty67
That's me exactly. I have to start over because I don't know what letter(s) I messed up.
ImGonnaSquirtHnnnnnggggg
Holy shit, same.
thalass
That saved me once. Had an old laptop I hadn't used in ages, couldn't remember the password. Closed my eyes and my fingers typed it right!
SS113
Is there a word for people like this, because I swear I identified with > 80% of these.
mastodonj
Parrots.
levijom
Sounds like OCD
Welley
Careful
StillNotYouTube
Normal.
fluhatinrapper
Slight anxiety.
Mamaof2QTs
This sort of “paranoia” makes me an awesome beta tester. I’m convinced there are issues I haven’t found yet. I’m applauded for thoroughness.
RhymingEverything
anxious
Mamaof2QTs
Overachiever!
Telegic
Paranoid. That's the only adjective you'll need.
dark12
OCD
LieutenantGordon
Anxiety. I did all of these before getting properly diagnosed.
thewarinvietfuckingnam
Normal
BoobsAreSoMuchFun
Me too, replying so I can come back and read the answer
LetMeTouchIt
Boobs are so much fun! I agree!
BoobsAreSoMuchFun
Yes they are, aren't they?
ThisIsTheBestICanDo
It’s in the title mate
FullSpeedAhead
Trust, but verify. Anxiety knows no limits.
hcb12
Normal? Surely everyone has these thoughts at least a little bit.
990429075
Have these thoughts a little bit with little concern = normal. Have these thoughts a lot with much concern = anxiety. IMO
Sprixxen
Yes, it is only an issue if these thoughts get to the point where you can't function properly.
hcb12
Fair
CPSTforfreeyippee
Anxiety.
keyholes
Can confirm.
Alysaere
CONSTANT VIGILANCE
imnotinprisonhidingaphoneinmybutt
This is a actual disorder I've been diagnosed with. Seriously.
swilli1005
Made me giggle
Alysaere
Then I have succeeded another day! Now, what to do with the rest of my Sunday...
denim2500
better wizards than you have lost buttocks
cyrusjoneslivedforever
Tell me who do you know that's lost a buttocks?
IDrankAllYourWorcestershireSauce
Paranoid
Nize426
More like, normal.
ptgaspar24
Parrot
jivvi
Parrotnoia
NZSheeps
It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you...
ctrl93
Then it's called guilty
dontsayretarded0itsgay
Pretty sure it has something to do with estrogen
dontsayretarded0itsgay
You are run by chemicals. https://www.thisamericanlife.org/220/testosterone
lakesidedriver
*wonders how much estrogen is in my male body.
dontsayretarded0itsgay
Some more, some less. People often aren't aware how powerful the effect of hormones on our behavior
AFatRaccoon
Well I guess that mostly depends on your age, my dude
Lunaki82
enough for you to cry when you see a kitten searching for his mum
NeverConfusedForNaught
That's a lot of estrogen
LonelyApplePie
Small amounts of estrogen are found in all men
LimaiSan
Estrogen dominance is a real health problem.(for men and women) Fat tissue makes estrogen, there are phytoestrogens and some plastics leak
LimaiSan
estrogen-like substances. I cannot help to ask myself if those nonsense-screaming types of fat women, have a really bad hormone disbalance.