JamieGeorge
34839
925
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12 reasons. 7 objectives. 5 exit strategies. 6 dead Americans. The only number that hasn't fucking changed is the one that matters: the number of people who knew what this war was actually for before it started. That number is motherfucking ZERO!
"Shoot first, ask questions later" only works as a theory of war if you eventually get around to the questions. We are now on day whatever of the Iran war and the questions have been replaced by additional press conferences featuring additional new reasons.
Is "Fucktastrophe" a word? The dictionary says no. History says it's been a word since at least 2003. We just keep misspelling it as fucking "Liberation."
Six service members are dead. The President talked about his garden statues. The Secretary of Defense was on a plane. The exit strategy is currently at version 5.0 with updates pending. This is not a war. This is a PowerPoint presentation that people are dying in. ??⚰️
#IranWar #AmericanSoldiers #GardenStatues #HeWasAskedAboutTheDead #TalkingAboutStatues #Priorities #Leadership #PowerPointWarVersion50
bourbonandbaddecisions
They have no clue as to what the fuck they are doing.
phuey200311337
polepolekaz
Epstein, Epstein, Epstein, Epstein, Epstein….
jdarksun
Don't forget they're making shitloads of money looting the US and capitalizing on an oil crisis they caused.
...after creating another crisis to seize Venezuelan oil.
medici
And a whole school full of innocent dead little girls. Stomach churning.
ontarioOT
It's almost as if they're just making shit up as they go.
ReverseSyzygy
** Israel was going to assassinate the ayatollah. Period.
*** the USA wanted in on the action
RalphH
I know what the war is for, to create new terrorists to fuel the military industrial complex.
BJWTech
Ding, ding, ding.
AnythingMuchShorter
Oh it's all very straightforward, you see since 1995 Iran have been a month away from having a nuclear bomb. There was a 2016 deal made by Obama for Iran not to develop nuclear weapons, and the IAEA confirmed they were complying. Then in 2018 trump abandoned the deal anyway. In 2025 trump declared that U.S. strikes “completely and totally obliterated” Iran's nuclear enrichment facilities. Now in 2026, it was vital to strike because they will soon have nuclear weapons.
akafluffy
Well, the presidents two days of war before needing approval from congress are over, how's that clusterfuck going?
ghostofGracchusBabeuf
That’s always Trump’s plan: baffle them with bullshit. It obviously works for him but it seems a lousy way to run a war
cdlong
They're workshopping ideas. It's the one thing trump is actually good at. He just throws shit out there and sees how the crowd responds, drops what doesn't work and keep talking about what does.
CyberneticWhelk
On the bright side we are getting an answer to the question of whether chat GPT can plan a war
WarThunderLeakedMySpecs
There was a ‘fucktangular’ post making the rounds for a bit, defining it as fucked up in a complicated and convoluted manner. I think it sounds better but whatever floats.
OnlyWantToSayOneThing
It's not even complicated. Trump can just order attacks on any country he pleases and no one cares. He could order an attack on France... Broken clocks I guess... Or on the Britain or Spain and no one would care. Its simple. Trump gets to kill anyone he wants and no one with any amount of power even cares.
ArgentXero
The war is for Israel. That's it. That's your anwser.
Neanderthalersutopiaphilandrousanteatersotherbrother
He's finishing the last loose ends for the healthcareplan and then he'll get to that
Relax guy
StellarJay77
And a partridge in a pear tree.
SleepyHollowAppleTree
BikeTrailsAndWaggingTails
Trump is a serial rapist.
W0lfsbl00d
After Jeff laughed peDonald says "won't even have to fight her much"
PirateArrrgument
Rape, beat, and murder. And apparently, eat.
sobeman
That's because AI never gives you the same response
basti0731
Not a single man in that room and in the fucking military with fucking balls enough to say no. See, that's the harrowing part.
Tengenstein
Operation Epic Fury? More like Operation Epstein Files
RetrogradeLlama
Everything Dementia Don does is unplanned, spur of the moment, stupidity.
OnlyWantToSayOneThing
Spur of the moment is the only real spur about this Don.
RetrogradeLlama
There's also Bone Spurs.
OnlyWantToSayOneThing
Be honest with me, do you TRULY believe that he had bone spurs? Because it is beyond a shadow of a doubt in my mind that he paid off a doctor to say that. Hence, spur of the moment being the only REAL spur trump has experienced.
meerkat212
There is no effing strategy. The orange ass and his cronies simply have no idea what government is supposed to do or how it does what it does, so they're just making it up as they go.
IchabobJones
That's not entirely ture. Apparently people made bank betting on the war days/ hours before it happened.
therandombagofmeat
America. Have we tried turning it off and turning it on again?
Hexidimentional
Iran's nuclear program wouldnt exist if trump could have just left ONE treaty obama put in place alone
Autittuderp
Fucktastophe is absolutely now a word.
JamieGeorge
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1a3FrZmdxZjl0dzN1MHppMjZocGkwNmFrNGduYjE3eHBndjNkajIzdCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/AYTlA6aCT0jfspePYT/200w.webp
mithiwithi
Jon Stewart first used the word "Catastrofuck" in 2006 (to refer to the Iraq war). I think that's even more cromulent now than it was then.
gurgledeeznutz360
hezthemagnificent
Fucktangular is also an amazing option.
talonic
For people who want to be PG-13, the brits have "Omnishambles" already in the OED!
a2s2020
And Parliament
IgnisInvictus
Yeah, I'm stealing that. That's perfect.
carbonr1
It might be a powerpoint presentation in america... the 190 + dead scoolgirls in Iran probably would have begged to differ.
etherbunny41
Wait, SPECIFICALLY schoolgirls? Like, I knew about the first 80, but are they, like... targeting not just children, but SPECIFICALLY little girls? Where did the second chunk come from?
carbonr1
The same school. 80+ injured as well.
etherbunny41
Oh, so they're still counting.
carbonr1
I guess so. Poor babies.
duktayp
ThinkThisOut
Would you be open to hearing a different reason?
SuperGeniusPS
agonarch
Oh -that's- why they wanted the AI so much
ChiefRunningFridge
Can't read the Epstein files if the servers are total obliterationed in a 500kT explosion. *taps forehead*
TheUnmakingEngine
number 1 reason. right here.
DukeDarkwood
For the U.S.'s involvement, maybe. Israel's doing it just for the same reason they're genociding Gaza. Because they want to kill the people they hate, and take their stuff.
But, I'm sure the Nutty Yahoo would prefer if we all thought this was just another Epstein distraction, and not notice his hand in things.
BeaverOnFire
EccentricNimoy
Ooof
BeaverOnFire
Casually
People know why it is happening and it explains why there is so much confusion about the rest. It is all a distraction from Trump's involvement with Epstein and failing poll numbers.
dontrike
Don't forget the failing economy
MrStealUrMeme
Rubio's explanation was that if Iran was attacked, Iran would retaliate and American lives would be endangered, so the U.S. attacked first. Well.. Isreal would be the only country who would attack Iran. Which goes to show that the U.S. will not stop Isreal from attacking Iran or hold them accountable. The U.S is Isreal's puppet.
HandoB4Javert
FutherMuckerJ0nes
Wondering if Netanyahu got the Trump-Epstein Blackmail folder in the inheritance.
trapdoorogre
Well someone has the Epstein Archive.
powwerbottom
It's an extension of the files: they show Trump is being extorted ("he made a deal!"). Epstein's properties recorded audio/video in every room and had years of kompromat. Epstein had financial and political ties with Israeli and Russian govt officials via his mentor: Ghislaine's dad Robert. Basically whatever JE got on Trump (and likely sold) was so fucken gross that we all have to do WWIII I guess, so the naked emperor can feel like the world still thinks he is wearing the finest of clothes.
Toqom
And Israel too, they ran the Epstein operation to blackmail trump into going to war
cowgoesmoo1
...and another reason to cancel the mid term elections. (Even though they didn't do that during WW2)
BarnegatLight
He deliberately waited until after the SOTU so he wouldn't have to talk about this
goodstuffs69
People aren’t going to forget and this is going to destroy his poll numbers even further.
derrymerbles
It’s true. I live in deep red cult territory and it’s amazing how my most red patients became vocally anti war (which is why so many of them started talking shit about GW in the past year or so). Even for them, the cognitive dissonance is going to be hard to come by, because they were SO vocal so recently. I mean, they’ll get their prescribed line from whatever conservative host they need, but they’re going to have that nagging doubt
BJWTech
Bless your heart
theworldcouldbeflat
Melania being a former Epstein Hooker was also part of it.
Mehtoes
I down voted this because we shouldn't slut shame. What two consenting adults do is their business.
AawesomeAardvaark
How is this slut shaming? Also, if it started when she was underage it is not consensual.
SerialChickenLover
Didn’t we know this since the beginning?
thotterpop
I did not. I thought... I fell for the thing that said she was a Russian agent that is making sure Trump does whatever Putin tells him
theworldcouldbeflat
No it was not clear that she was an underage hooker in the Epstein ring, she was known to have been in porno.
heathenhumanist
I don't think an "underage hooker" is a thing. That just means "girl being raped."
ElbowDeepInAPoliceState
Well it either means "extreme desperation" or - more likely - "being pimped out by human traffickers".
theworldcouldbeflat
Well I think the line in the sand does require you to acknowledge the victim aspect that is missing and you would have not appeared in the Epstein files.
Miller16of16
Its happening because Iran was the last impediment to Israeli expansion. Blame it on the money, blackmail, whatever. Doesn't change the reason. We're been Israel's military and cash host going back to Johnson, high gear since 9/11.
vindik8or
Israel has realised that they've passed the peak of their influence, and public opinion is turning against them and likely will never recover. They have to act now to destabilise the region and secure their dominance or the chance will never come again. Whatever you might think of Iran's regime, what the US and Israel are doing is despicable and the world is complicit in just letting it all happen.
ViperMD
This! Was it last year they said announced that after the successful "operation" in Gaza they would strike at anyone who threatened them? I've lost all sense of time with this shit, it's near constant.
tReasonoustRump
That’s the point. They’re trying to normalize this and normalize the US just striking anyone they don’t like or anyone who doesn’t comply with them.
Comet260
Speaking of 9/11, I wonder how much Israel is involved in that.
Neanderthalersutopiaphilandrousanteatersotherbrother
Just applying some pressure/pushed some buttons to get america back to the middle east
Comet260
So, if I read your point correctly, you're saying that Israel has NEVER, EVER been a good actor.
vindik8or
Netanyahu's party Likud was formed out of the terrorist organisations Herut and Irgun that founded Israel. The same organisations that collaborated with the Nazis. Israel is not the legacy of Holocaust survivors but instead they've had their suffering co-opted by fascist-collaborating terrorists right from the very beginning.
Neanderthalersutopiaphilandrousanteatersotherbrother
Im not for words as always and never..but come to think sbout it..
Any suggestions when they were?