RagingBrainor
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A little over 7 years ago I was raped (I got my cat that I mentioned in another post because of this). I ended up getting pregnant from the rape but didn't find out until I was 6 months along. I had no idea I was pregnant, none of the signs were there and dealing with the trauma made me assume I wasn't getting my period because of the stress. I actually lost weight as well.
I ended up placing the baby up for adoption and did the best I could to move on with my life. I do my best to not think about it but sometimes I feel guilty that I haven't told my boyfriend about it. Now that a year has passed I feel that to much time has gone by to reveal such a big secret. I don't think I'll ever tell him.
hahaLaha
As adptive parent keep it 2 urself & know u hav done a wndrfl thng form a terrible thing. U r wndrfl. child is wonderfl. B wndrfl $ & ❤️hm.
whopper68
Its understable why u havent given circumstances. If and when your ready, dont fear telling the truth. You did what you had to.
spcmgmt
Are you not telling him because you feel he will respond in a bad way?
GuyInTheBack
This is how to confess
HereticWilson
Major props for giving that kid life and a family that wanted it, in spite of the circumstances.
MostlyToasty24
You don't have to if you don't want to, just shut the door on it and be done until you want to. You don't owe anybody anything
ItsmeBrin
You may not be ready to tell him now, but I feel like you will eventually. Don't feel guilty. c:
ItsmeBrin
I would understand if my girlfriend didn't tell me something like this until several years into our relationship.
BrowsesExclusivelyOnRandom
This. My ex is a survivor, and we were together for quite a while before she was able to tell me about it. You'll be all right.
plainoldusername
What happened to you is insanely unfair. The injustice to you will continue if you choose to hide something this big from your partner
rentalmech
Tell him at a good time. My gf of 1 year said she was raped while we were fighting.
BreatheInBreatheOutBreatheInBreatheOut
It's never too late. It'll be the best decision to tell him, and sooner rather than later. If he loves you for real then it's no big thing.
lauracSmasher
❤️?
Kitastrophe
I feel like this isn't something you bring up at first, but rather only with someone you've dated a while, he'll prolly understand
BoopBoopDEEDoop
Honestly your bf doesn't need to know. You did the best thing for you and that baby, who never needs to know how it was conceived
jval
Honestly, it's more for your benefit if you decide to tell him or not tell him. It really has very little to do with him.
BondageBurrito
Damn I probably would have thrown myself down stairs a bunch and tried to miscarry I know that sounds awful but as
BondageBurrito
a rape victim myself its really not
ViVeriUniversumVivusVici
As the boyfriend of a previous rape victim, the knowledge doesn't break the relationship. Knowing allows your partner to support you (1/2)
ViVeriUniversumVivusVici
emotionally and brings the two of you closer. If knowing hurts the relationship, he might not be the right guy for you anyway. (2/2)
Chainhealer
As the ex partner of a rape victim, I agree.
MandaloreIncognito
Holy shit, this is the 2nd Confession Bear on this subject I've seen... I wish I had something profound to say. You know when it's right.
JeepJeep7
Good for you going through with the pregnancy and choosing to give up for adoption. The secret will likely eat away at you, tell the truth
icouldnotthinkofagoodusername
I was put up for adoption when i was born and upon further the woman refused to put any information about the guy. 1
icouldnotthinkofagoodusername
I suspect rape might be why and havent made contact for that reason.
lemonbasil
You don't need absolution from anyone and it is no one else's business.
CanIPleaseSkiAlready
Good job OP, you gave a child a chance to live
samxbuttonsx
Do you ever wonder what your kid is up to? I'm adopted but don't know anything about my biological parents, so that's why I was curious
mchococakes
This is your story. If you want to share it, good for you. If you want to keep it to yourself, good for you.
Hmantooth
It was.your body and your life. I don't think you should feel guilt, you should feel pride that you came through a horrific situation 1/2
Hmantooth
If your partner isn't supportive, then they aren't the right person for you.
Hmantooth
It should be something you can share, especially if u feel it will benefit you, it shouldn't be used to judge you.
MayraV
I can tell you first hand that a caring partner wants to know about rape experiences and consequences, regardless of time gone by.
hobotopia
Time him when your ready but before you get married
shwiggityshwoot
And the same partner can also be understanding if it takes a while.
MayraV
Most certainly.
MayraV
It helps them connect to you and support you.
whatisthisnameishouldchoose
Who knows the bf also got raped before, more connection.
MayraV
Yeah, that's uh.... not what I meant.
IATTM
Personally, if my girlfriend was in your situation, I'd care more about her being raped than becoming pregnant from the act; i would....
MayraV
Yeah I meant talking about both things, really, without priority to either.
IATTM
Want to know about because I'd care and not want to hurt her or have it weighing on her because she felt she couldn't tell me. If your..
IATTM
Bf really cares about you, he'd want you to share that information with him.
JonnyShatKnuckles
Imo This is info that doesn't need to be given to a possible ex. If you believe in marriage, I'd tell him after he proposes. PT1:
JonnyShatKnuckles
PT2 It's what my wife did. Basically I proposed, we celebrated, spoke about serious things the day after (like this), then public announcmnt
1stick2stickredstickbluestick
This is just as much about your readiness to share as much as his willingness to receive. I imagine I we were in your BF's shoes, most of 1/
1stick2stickredstickbluestick
Us would respond with nothing but love, care, and understanding, but tell him when you feel ready to. Wishing you the best
PessimisticBecauseItsRealistic
I just want you to know the fact that you didn't kill the kid, even though it was six months in, makes you the real hero. Thank you!
official0prah
This comment is gross and unnecessary.
snapesnapeseverussnapeDUMBLEDORE
How?
BaconSword
Tell him when you're ready, if my girlfriend waited a while to tell me something like that I'd understand.
fpierce1997
Sage advice.
mambacastro
True!
HeyDontBeADick
100%
AwkwardKeming
And if you're only ready to tell about one or the other but not both (rape or child), that's fine too.
thegarlicawakens
No. A year is far too much time. A few months in when it is serious is when it is time to divulge important information like this.
HappyTheKangaroo
I was 48 when my mom told me about my older sister she had in the same circumstance. I was not mad at her and neither was my brother.
GradientApollo
It took my ex two years to feel comfortable opening up about the serious stuff. Time helps.
derptardaction
Agreed.
Tunzaphun
Very true, and if he has an issue with it then fuck him! But not literally, just figuratively, ya know?
ricerescue
Ye, keep literal part to the case where he understands.
Bugsyjr9000
justyourfriendlyneighborhoodimgurian
@BaconSword has some good words.
brinanigans
The best words.
IOnlyUseThisToUploadRLStuffToReddit
I feel like we would have a connection.
Stabatha91
Ummm baconsword
thestarsaresparkling
His username is already a good word
LttleSnek
My ex was raped multiple times by a guy before me. She told me right away but looking back i think i would of been better for her to wait
LttleSnek
Because after she told me it just wasn't the same. It felt like she wasn't the person i originally dated. I think she rushed herself to tell
LttleSnek
Me and it was too soon to much for her.
LttleSnek
Me and it was too soon to much for her. So take your time :) its worth it
SadieJones11
I don't think too much time has past. I would tell him before you got married if you ever did. Maybe seek counseling on it?
RagingBrainor
I saw a counselor right after it happened. The thing is, so much time has passed that it feels like another life. I suppose that is why 1/2
RagingBrainor
I am a bit hesitant saying something. That person isn't who I am anymore. Its more that if he finds out he might start treating me different
SadieJones11
I have been through similar situation. The one guy who didn't treat me differently is my now husband. And it's cause I waited to tell him.
SadieJones11
I am glad I told him. Good luck with what ever you decide.
RagingBrainor
Thank you for your support.