LetsGetWeirdinHere
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Mar 16, 2016 9:13 AM
LetsGetWeirdinHere
126054
5384
177
RogerTheCactus
if you'd rather dump a girl then walk some stairs, then maybe you deserve to be single
TannaWartman47
and nobody wants loose fingers...
CellPrincess
Is it not "cold slaw"?
DrWhoodles
It's coleslaw, sweetie
vanella
All totally valid reasons to break up with someone. If they annoy you, it won't ever work out
Kyrian
"Cold slaw." How often would that even have to come up in conversation to be the single reason that drives someone to a break up?
vanella
"so what do you want as a side???".... here ya go
reminryme
Just stop going to kfc
vnqx
#5 -
metalman71589
Can we add, "She reposted this list to Imgur."?
Dashingdane
Some of these were apparently dating 3 year-olds
twp3pf2
"She wasn't the same kind of weird as me. That's messed up, right?"
StandardDeviant
Most of these are petty and dumb, but how the fuck do you not know how to hold a fork like an adult?
MattDerKomponist
Yeah, I think out of all of these that one would definitely bother me the most.
StandardDeviant
I mean, I'd probably also freak out over the mustard one, but the fork one really stuck out to me
MattDerKomponist
Oh yeah...haha. And the loud eating.
StandardDeviant
Upon further consideration, waiting to decide what to order until you're at the front of the line might be a breakupable offense too.
Painteagle
I mean that is half the point of dating (seriously). To find compatible weirdness.
twp3pf2
When I see my wife doing something that is completely weird (to me), I wonder, "What was the last weird thing I did that she overlooked?"
ArtemisOzzimmer
Half of these could be solved by doing something radical, like talking to their partner.
Albertiarp
I assumed since they were all awful reasons that they were essentially confessions.
Felderburg
What about the other half?
ArtemisOzzimmer
His head was way too big for his body, can't be fixed. Trapezoid mouth, plastic surgery maybe but I wouldn't. And so on.
missladymondegreen
exactly. but people looking for a reason to dump someone will always find one.
ArtemisOzzimmer
guess what the issue is either on their own or via vague signals, even though its common knowledge guys usually suck at this.
ArtemisOzzimmer
True. Though a lot of the time people never, in my experience, attach 'Talking' to 'Problem in Social Realtionship'. They wait for people to
GingerMuscles
Best comment.
randomguy342
Talk to them like some sort of human? You sicken me
discoginge
I was dating an amazing person but one day they hocked a loogie mid-makeout and I could never look at them again without thinking of it
ICouldUseANap
Gag reflexes in motion. Not good. Nope. Just nope.
satansclitoris
SirListerOfSmeg
The Seinfeld approach to relationships
Justtoupdoot
She had man-hands
keyblader1985
Who over the age of five holds their fork like a shovel?
ICouldUseANap
A whole lot of grown up men.
beeratius
MAN HANDS!
crispexops
The peas one was from Seinfeld.
missladymondegreen
close-talker.
JSmith90
"HELLOOOOOO" -that girls eyelid mole
Angel666Hawk
LA LA LAA
ToThePain
But I BOUGHT THE BIG SALAD!
idownvoteplottwist
She's a two face!
CaptainSylus
Bad lighting on the porch.
dumpur
These are taken from an Askreddit post called "what's the most George Costanza-esque reason you've broken up with someone?"
visce
Yeah, and I'm pretty sure the person who decided to put them all on images didn't realize the pea one was a direct Seinfeld quote.
Dorsetperception
For the lazy: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2fk3y1/what_is_the_most_george_constanzaesque_reason_you/
pleasebenicetome
My mom used to do the store thing in the car. She couldn't stand silence so she's just call out words she saw. It was so annoying.
DrWhoodles
I do it too and I just can't help it. I don't know why either. :/
visgurian
May I ask what you mean when you say "I just can't help it"? Honestly. I don't think I understand.
DrWhoodles
I see signs and read them out loud for no real reason. It just happens.
BlessYourBeautifulHide
Probably just need to fill a silence, or just need to have your voice heard, even if there isn't a silence. My mom does it.
visgurian
Unrelated: Great reference in the username! Love that movie! Got to play Caleb in a stage version & it was so much fun!
missladymondegreen
radio.
pleasebenicetome
Yea she would just talk over the radio.
ICouldUseANap
My ex's dad did it. If I started to say anything, he told me to be quiet because he was talking. Then he'd continue, "Olive Garden, Texaco."
bachterman
"If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up." Ford Prefect
dorkbot5000
Most people I know just sing when they have nothing else to say. :D
Whozdatgrl
I know I'm not the only one that tried to make a trapezoid shape with their mouth.
chemialastria
I'm envious of people who are drowning in the opposite sex to the point that they can afford to let this petty shit be a dealbreaker.
MarTheKhorvaireSquirrelMaster
Sometimes, it's better to be celibate.
halfdaybosslady
Yeah, but the moon landing? Mustard fries? That seems reasonable to me.
Rekkora
I know what you mean
isaaclw
I think it's likely that this wasn't the real reason, just the reason they were able to (or chose to) vocalize.
ICouldUseANap
Nope. They can be the real reasons. I mean, if I don't want to face that oddity every single solitary day even when I have the flu, I'm out.
ifmusicbethefoodofloveplayon
I don't blame people for not settling but some of this stuff was trivial, it makes you wonder if they have any regrets years later.
OmfgImNotLurking
Like, 8th floor walk up? Really? What an asshole.
ICouldUseANap
Until she wants you to carry heavy appliances up those stairs. I think I would have to move on...or get really really fit.
PhunPhact
I'm wondering the same thing
chettlar
The funny thing is, you'll likely finally find someone, appreciate them for a while, and then get comfortable and expect more.
chemialastria
Oh, I have someone. I just work dumb shit out with her instead of leaving her like some kind of shitty high school kid.
skelekittycat
Depends how early on in the relationship it is I suppose. I work out petty shit now, but we've been together for almost 4 years.
skelekittycat
I broke up for a guy after we failed at sex. I just didn't feel the chemistry after that. Felt like a bad person but if it isn't there...
MittensPlease
That's legitimate.if its zero-chemistry bad it probably won't get better
ICouldUseANap
I broke up with a guy that I really liked a lot because I couldn't stand the way he kissed.
skelekittycat
Yeah. A lack of physical chemistry sucks, but it's necessary no matter what people say. Exactly why I couldn't wait until marriage.
ICouldUseANap
Nope. Neither did I. It's too important.
HeistheZissou
Looking like Paul Dano is totally a valid reason.
chettlar
He's...mildly attractive tho...
UnexpectedBrilliance
You mean barely, more charm than attraction
AnythingMuchShorter
My wife calls Tupperware "tub-a-ware" probably figuring it's like a tub. But if you like someone this kind of thing is cute
BlessYourBeautifulHide
My coworker calls Netflix "Netflick"
brknsoul
Coffee Sugar.. grrrr! Sugar first, then coffee, stir, wash spoon, dry spoon.
mthrndr01
Is suck flavor off of spoon, immediately put it back in the drawer not just as good?
brknsoul
Personally, i just drink my coffee with the spoon in the cup. By the time I want another coffee, spoon is dry.
HeyGafilimore
More like "Excuses people used to cover up reasons they dumped someone", eh?
Octwo
TBH if someone refused to stop eating loudly I wouldn't be able to eat with them ever. Not a good relationship.
YouThinkThatsBad
#3 - I am a bartender and this happens all. the. time. "Do you want me to give you another minute?" "Uhhh, I'll haaaave...."
Jfro80
These pictures are joined in pairs (annoyingly) You meant #2, but yea that shit happens way too often with my mom
Firefenix203
What bugs me is when i signal the barkeep and wait patiently, already knowing what i want and ready to pay only to get skipped over by a hoe
ICouldUseANap
"No wait! I'llllll haaaave um, what's she drinking? That one over there. No, over there. No her."
YouThinkThatsBad
"Can I have a martini?" "Do you want gin or vodka?" "Umm, do you have blue?"
ICouldUseANap
Hahahahaha.ugh. "Do you want an olive in that?" "Eeewwwwwnnooooo."
Iamsonewatthis
The yawning one. My wife does that to me. SO I started doing it back. Apparently I'm some sort of war criminal when it happens to her.
theyjustcallmeD
gotta love a good hypocrite. they're my favorite!
mthrndr01
Start doing it with more fingers.
Iamsonewatthis
Giggity
bachterman
or with more penii.
Bukkoffee
Some of these are understandable, others are just people being assholes, 1 gave me a boner. All in all, decent post.
ExpectedDickbuttGotDickbutt
I really hope it was the T-rex one or the same deodorant as mother one
beeratius
Was it the finger in mouth one?
SithHaveBetterSex
Anyone else think Antoinette guy was the only unreasonable dickhead
CaptainJackSbarro
I agree, but to be fair, a good rule of thumb is to never name a child something you wouldn't want to yell out during sex. Antoinette? No.
SithHaveBetterSex
It's not about the offspring. Why start dating someone if you don't like their name?
iwouldeatyourbox
Boobs
SithHaveBetterSex
...... I GUESS!!! +1
ohcats
IIRC this was from a reddit post about "what's the most Seinfeld reason you broke up with someone"
doctrix
The dumbshit also doesn't seem to realize that Toni is the appropriate spelling for a female.
MattDerKomponist
No, I think the apartment one was worse. Although this guy comes close.
longshorttermmemorynetwork
And the peas.
slightlydramatic
dumping someone over a mole they have on their face that was there before they started dating is also pretty bad
accipiter
"I'm too dumb to pronounce a beautiful, 3-syllable name. Can you go by a man's nickname instead? No. I CAN'T STAND YOU THEN."
iwouldeatyourbox
A buddy of mine has a wife named Toni, not sure if its short for something or not.
accipiter
I've seen women with Toni as a nickname, which is fine. But most people think of 'Tony" as a male name when heard rather than written.
accipiter
But also, a nickname is optional. Demanding someone go by a nickname they don't like is demeaning.
skelekittycat
Even just earning the right to call them a nickname that they won't mind. My friends call me Rach, but I hate strangers doing it.
skelekittycat
I looked after a little girl called Toni-Lee. Double-barrelled boys names are quite common for girls. Another I know is Bobbie-Lee
OmfgImNotLurking
And the 8th floor walk-up guy?
grungetta
That's my daughter's name... and now I am second guessing my decision.
handparty
It's a good name. She can always go by the nickname "Ann" if she wants. Like Stef for Stephanie.
grungetta
She's always gone by Annie
NonConformistFlamingo
I think it's a gorgeous name, don't fret over some random jackass.
MyDadLooksLikeTomCruise
If she starts getting stingy with her bread, then you chose a perfect name.
MattDerKomponist
No, that's an awesome name. I was super surprised when I read that, haha.
kevinallover
You should be.
iAmLrrrRulerOfThePlanetOmicronPersei8
It's a pretty name, don't worry.
MakingNoNoiseAndPretendingIDontExist
It was great grandmothers name and I've always thought it was beautiful.
skelekittycat
You know, if I have kids, my biggest worry is that one day I'll be like "damnit I hate the name I picked for them." Antoinette is lovely tho
grungetta
I also have a Jersey ...
skelekittycat
As long as the kids are happy, who cares? Very different names though. Classic vs more modern.
SithHaveBetterSex
At least if you decide to change their name, they'd pick it up faster than a dog. "Son.." "Yea Dad" "Your name is Robert now" "Oh, uh, ok"
Goatlord
I mean, he'd rather have called her "Tony". His input on anything should be automatically rejected.
iwouldeatyourbox
A buddy of mine's wife's name is Toni. Not sure if its short for anything or not.
Goatlord
"Tony" just makes me think of fat Italian men, even though the only Tony I know is gay and Asian.
deltajesus
'EY TONY!
Goatlord
BADABING BADABOOM
DidItForScience
I knew a girl named Antoinette and she went by Toni.
finallystoppedlurkingonimgur
That and deodorant guy. I don't understand what's wrong with wearing the same deodorant as another female.
mycatToastwasafatasshole
My dad wears Stenson and I don't mind when my exes had worn it, it smells nice.
missladymondegreen
it could be difficult to get in the mood if she makes you think of your mother... maybe tell her and ask if she could switch. be a grown-up.
Nova5269
"Hey babe, you smell like my mother. Stop that."
zeethenomad
Smell is a powerful memory link. It would be weird to bang a girl and constantly be reminded of mom. But just ask her to switch!
skelekittycat
Yeah, this is why I will forever discourage my partner from liking Jean-Paul Gaultierre (or whatever) cause my dad wears it.
B0nerFarts
I can see that one. Gettin' busy and then you realize she smells like mom.
bobbyflei
oedipus complex
ShrekBalls
And it's seriously not a big deal to explain the situation and she would probably change deodorant
chettlar
Well, I guess we assume that he didn't approach her about it. For all we know, he might have but she told him that was dumb and unreasonable
Albertiarp
A few dates in "hey change your deodorant please". I can see why someone would rather just avoid it if theres no real connection already .
MorgannosaurusRex
How do you walk like a t-rex?
Sharewolf
First you gotta open the door
MorgannosaurusRex
I realize that's a stupid questions to ask over the internet. Assume it's rhetorical.
B0nerFarts
got you fam. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFtaWbIimDI
MorgannosaurusRex
You are a fantastic human being! Thank you!
B0nerFarts
You're quite welcome!
DingusMajoris
The simple solution to the yawning one is to cover your mouth, but I'm not an expert on relationships or basic etiquette.
ClearlyMadeUpQuote
Murder isn't wrong if its for a klondike bar - Elmo
Blamblam101
She must have cats. That behavior becomes ingrained.
thegirlfromtheplaceyouknow
Or a dog
MrsMarshallEriksen
My sister-in-law does the finger-in-the-mouth thing, and my brother finds it adorable and funny. I just bite her finger.
OnlyPostsGetRekt
You could just ask for it to stop. If she doesn't, you got more problems than a finger in your mouth.
siler7
Obviously not.
arisahne
My husband and I do this to each other all the time. It's like a game. We also pull on each others fingers prior to farting. Life is good.
mycatToastwasafatasshole
My boyfriend did it to me once, so I did it back next time he yawned. He stopped. xD
ADreamWeaver
I had an ex that would do that even if I turned and covered my mouth. I would literally have to have my palm right against my face
Snooj
It's better for both of them because she obviously just wanted a cat.
Nimrodellama
I literally do the yawn one to many of my people. Not strangers obviously..
CocaineAndSelfPleasure
I picked a strangers nose once. I would do it as a joke to a girlfriend but this day... This day I say a doppelganger from behind and...
Ialwaysdownvotereposts
If you don't cover your mouth when you yawn, a ghost sticks its dick in your mouth. Gotta be safe Bros.
Stuebydoo
Yawn raping is bad!
Foxhart
When my bf yawns w/o covering, I pretend to jack off an invisible dick into his mouth. But if he covers it, he gets a kiss as reward.
Foxhart
Classical conditioning. Although now he tends to just make gagging noises when I "dick" him (as we call it) so it didn't work as planned.
ooMogar
Or maybe don't stick your fucking dinner in someone's open mouth. How's that for etiquette
JohnCena6969
I do this to my friends and stuff man its fucking annoying
dogsmostly
I stuck(stick) my finger in my human's mouth when he yawned & he married me. But he sends me that picture every time it makes its rounds.
ADreamWeaver
You're HUMAN?
VeganFeministFlatEarther
You're not?
OneDimpleWonder
I just sent it to my fiancé, I do the same to him!
Rovylern
I do the same to my wife. :-D
collinslemongin
Yeah my boyfriend and I do it too
StonesOnTheHill
The way I see it, someone not covering their mouth as they yawn in front of people would be just a bit more dumpworthy than finger-girl.
MorgothsORing
Isn't a yawn an inhale? Why should it be covered?
StonesOnTheHill
It's generally considered unsightly. Most people don't want to look inside another's mouth, and if you have bad breath, one can smell it.
MorgothsORing
Well I could see why someone would cover it in the workplace.
missmaryMACKMACKMACK
i used to poke my ex's yawns so that he would cover his trap.
iDrinkDrano
Are you the girl mentioned above?
missmaryMACKMACKMACK
for a split second, i honestly thought so. ha. two sides to every story!
GormlessLiar
In both scenarios just communicating would have worked great. "Hey, can you stop putting your finger in my mouth everytime I yawn?",
DAFUQisaLOMMY
in public, I can see how this would be a pet-peeve, but when you're home, and it's just the two of you? Finger-girl is just annoying
sj2890
Why? It can't get you sick, it's not like coughing.
StonesOnTheHill
It's generally considered unsightly. Most people don't want to look inside another's mouth, and if you have bad breath, one can smell it.
sj2890
Perhaps in public it would be seen as common courtesy, but his girlfriend does it - that would lead me to believe it's likely in the 1/2
sj2890
2/2 comfort of his own home.
Nodoan
I'd probably dump someone that didn't believe in the moon landing, especially if they were vocal about it. I've met the type.
skittlesohenry
My fiancee doesn't believe it happened, but it's come up twice in our 7 year relationship, so it's not that in my thoughts that much.
tygerpsimatrix
Someone needs to call Buzz; another punching is due!
AwesomeName
Good choice. If somebody deserves to die alone and childless, it's those people.
RippleFx
Been married for 10 years I don't believe in it, she does, what's the big deal?
Nodoan
Not so much the belief itself, just that from experience these people tend to be unreasonable which imho is more important.
AltairWasTheBestAssassin
My girlfriend doesn't really like science, but she only says it when I bring it up. It's strenuous, but I still love her
emuthegreen
That's...so odd. I have no interest in tech or higher math, but bio and chem are fascinating. The boyfriend is the opposite
Microcube
Doesn't really like... Science? It seems difficult to not like an abstract concept.
AltairWasTheBestAssassin
Yeah she can't wrap her head around (more like doesn't want to) numbers and math can actually describe nature
AltairWasTheBestAssassin
*that
Glumerlink
I don't know if I could stick with someone who didn't believe in something so simple
UhBell
She doesn't like knowing things?
AltairWasTheBestAssassin
She does... Just other things
DidItForScience
Like who won The Voice in every season?
AltairWasTheBestAssassin
Luckily not. She's an organizational talent and very interested in games and Chinese culture
myrabel
My ex didn't believe in the moon landing and that climate change isn't real- the debates were lively (ended up fighting most times) :/
UhBell
Bitch would've been dumped faster than you can say "Houston, we have an idiot"
VeganFeministFlatEarther
How can you have a debate with someone thinking irrationally?
myrabel
Hence the ex part hahah
madamfives
Wait, she didn't believe climate change isn't real and you dumped her?
myrabel
He didn't believe in climate change, it was not one of the reasons of the breakup but a cause of fighting
SomethingOffensive
My ex didn't believe in the moon landing. She was still fun to bang.
UhBell
The thought process of everyman that compromised his prideful dick placement.
SomethingOffensive
It's not like the loss of IQ points is sexually transmitted. If I get the sex I want, I feel smarter because I am less preoccupied, even (1)
SomethingOffensive
If she is an idiot. As long as she doesn't interfere with my endeavors, I don't mind dating someone who's not smart. (2)
avocatdos
But she still became your ex
SomethingOffensive
Still had fun banging her. And at the time, that was what mattered.
hipsterhank
Girlfriend: "I'm just not so sure about dinosaurs." Me: "Which part?" "I'm just not sure I believe them. Like, where did they go?" Me: "..."
Curiousone545
Take her to a museum. That's how I helped change one of my retarded friends minds. He just couldn't process how "big" time is. *SMH.
VeganFeministFlatEarther
Meh, just makes them pull the god card. He 'made it that way on purpose!' Or 'the devil planted that evidence!'
Curiousone545
At which point you calmly point out every day evolution we see (dogs, cats, selective breeding, birds on Galapagos),&say god approves evo1
Curiousone545
2)evolution, or we wouldn't be able to see it happening daily around us. Then say God likes dino's &appeal to their childish beliefs ;) easy
scientificburrito
Is your girlfriend Ben Carson?
wassamattayu
"The answer is simple: they turned into grain silos."
uhrenpapst
She belongs in a museum... like in a educational way.
hipsterhank
I swear to God, not making it up, she said it while we were driving to Chicago for the weekend; I added a Field Museum trip to the itinerary
hipsterhank
It didn't help. She still doesn't believe in dinosaurs. We broke up. (Way too much later though).
frjackhackett
stanley kubrick all but admits it all through the shining, look at danny's apollo 11 jumper, the speech about his moral obligation to his em
frjackhackett
ployer (i.e. nasa), room 237 which was 217 in the book, altered because the average distance to the moon is 237000 miles, the dead twins rep
frjackhackett
resenting the earlier gemini mission, there's an eagle (i.e. apollo 11) in the manager's office, and on and on
ecodude
You... You're joking right? You actually believe that shit?
frjackhackett
no, it's a plausible theory and i could believe it with more solid evidence e.g. nasa admitting it, but there's not enough to support it
DipMyBallsInKeroseneAndLightAMatch
Lol took the words right out of my mouth
frjackhackett
it's a very interesting line of thinking tho
omfgjess
Loud eater, I cant deal with that
therpsichore
If I'm not eating myself it drives me mad and I have to excuse myself, if someone was to eat with an open mouth I'd probably punch them.
Iamsonewatthis
I have a very good friend of mine who eats mouth open and slow while making eye-contact....he has a lazy eye.
missladymondegreen
Misophonia. check it out.
Brlnr
I have it. It's the worst, very hard for others to realize how much I want to drive their heads through nearest window for the way they eat.
gringissimo
Loud eaters are the worst. Eating the on the phone should be immediate exile.
CallsYouATosser
That's it. Right there. Black and white. Truer than the North Star. If my wife ever dies suddenly, I am going to be a prime suspect. 1/2
CallsYouATosser
Everybody knows I can't stand chewing noises. And this woman's mouth is a goddamn echo chamber! The gloopy sloshing noises just make me 2/3
CallsYouATosser
ill and wanna go punch a wall for a while. And that's why I make sure the TV is on when we sit down to eat. But it's not always enough. 3/4
CallsYouATosser
This bitch made an entire bowl of cooked oatmeal crunch as if she was eating Tostitos! To this day it's my singular proof there is no god.
NonConformistFlamingo
And yet you married her...
jazztimber
It's also very poor manners.
baeelin
My kids are bad about it. I get on them EVERY time. Ugh hate it.
KharnApproves
I would totally break up with a loud eater. I'm not going to be miserable at every meal for the rest of my life.
Whozdatgrl
Can not stand it! No one wants to see or hear your food while you are chewing it. It should be one of the first manners you learn as a kid.
BoomerKeith
Same with shovel fork. It's not as easy as saying "can you not use your fork like a shovel".
blondesci
My fucking roommate is the WORST. If i'm hungover and she's eating i literally have to leave the apartment
steikewaffel
My uncle does it. He's 60 and never been in a real relationship yet.
pancakeisi
Try living in hong kong
redjay12
My dad had a friend like that with the BEST name for it: his actually real name was Mr.Humlicker. You can't get better than that.
Optimixto
I had a friend that had his nose constantly obstructed. He could only breath through his mouth... We had lunch break together.. Hell is real
dangerousmelon
I have really intense hayfever, worked around it by taking small bites and holding my breath. Meals take forever sometimes, but it works.
gringissimo
My son had that when he was a baby. Bottle feeding was basically a milk bath for both of us.
chaquitabananana
I don't smack and chew loudly. But I do "mmmmm" "omg...." "Ohhh" if it's really really good. Hubs gets embarrassed cuz it's sounds like sex
skelekittycat
One of my best friends is the opposite. No "mmm" noises, but she chews like a cretin. I still love her though so I ignore it.
chaquitabananana
I just really get into a good mesl
kJerAFK
What about chips? If you close your mouth on the first bite, you run the risk of stabbing the roof of your mouth.
queenbones
I'm actually curious what kind of chips you've experienced this risk with.
kJerAFK
Kettle salt and vinegar and normal tortilla chips...shit hurts yo
queenbones
Do you have a very sensitive mouth? I heart kettle chips but I've never damaged myself with them.
queenbones
regardless, that is regrettable. peace, yo
shakinbones
Mustard one could have stopped at "she put mustard on her fries."
emptykeg
I kind of like them French fried potaters and mustard. Hmmmg.
sirwilliambillion
I put honey mustard on fries all the time...
keyblader1985
I do too sometimes. But mustard and honey mustard are two different things.
theavengingewok
I can't stand mustard and don't really care for honey, but I love honey mustard
CirB
I often put mustard on my fries. I mean, with ketchup. Never just mustard.
shakinbones
Ketchup and hot sauce, now we're talkin!
CyberAkuma
That's nothing, I heard that in this one place they put mayo on them!
iarmit
It's kind of good actually
shakinbones
Ya, that's not too bad. Something about mustard and fries though.
shakinbones
That one place is Europe lol. Sweden puts ketchup on their soagetti, like on top of the sauce that's on there.
FloodingWaters
I mean, when there's nothing else and the fries are particularly dry, I've done it. but i was not proud.
shakinbones
This is like saying, "she had one tooth, and smelled like limburger cheese, but was the last girl in the bar." 8)
FloodingWaters
no one ever caught an STD from french fries.
HorribleMonster
If the fries are that bad, there's a simple solution: You don't eat them. They are bad. It is broken fries. You get new fries. No mustard.
FloodingWaters
some days, yeah the sun shines and there are more fries to be had. other days.... well, you just gotta eat them godforsaken taters.
busydad
If they say: expresso, nucular, irregardless, simular, supposably, or Jif (instead of gif) these are all valid reasons end it that second.
plouffi
Ex: "Are you on your nerves?" Me: "Do you mean to ask me if something is getting on my nerves?" I fucking hated when he said that.
busydad
when my SO asks me to itch her back. I tell her I'm all out of itching powder but if you'd like me to scratch your itch, I'd be happy to.
plouffi
Arghh! I hate that one too!
busydad
ungien /onion breffess / breakfast
Hozumi
or how about Tira-masseuse...
busydad
that's my favorite dessert (which has a fantastic back story to its name) and I would murder someone for saying it that way.
askaglassofwater
Or "advocado"
B0nerFarts
advocados at law
zoidburgerandfries
I think you mean Gif and not Jif
alexburgers
"aluminum"
busydad
as in not aluminium or what?
alexburgers
Obviously, yeah. :)
ecodude
Nah, that's just the way us freedom people spell/say it.
MrLaninated
Say "paciffically" to me once and it's over.
ICouldUseANap
Libary
ieldanth
Anyone who uses long words when a monosyllabic one will do.
kaytiss
"For all intensive purposes"
busydad
that's a big one!
VeganFeministFlatEarther
I feel like accent is a horribly petty reason for breaking up. I'm southern and there are words I physically can't say 'correctly' w/o prep
busydad
I was raised in deep center TX. It's easy to lose the accent.
VeganFeministFlatEarther
Yes I am from SC and can mask miners well, that's beside the point.
busydad
at least you didn't say besides the point :)
Flyndaran
Changing accents is a linguistic talent not of equal difficulty for everyone. I'm just glad my pacific NW accent is considered neutral.
RighteousAuthority
Pronouncing the L in Salmon...
busydad
oh my, that does sound pretentious. I feel like people who pronounce the L also vape or do cross-fit.
skelekittycat
I have a friend who does it unconciously. Along with "peekza" instead of pizza, and "foe-yay" for Foyer. She has a foreign mum though (1/2)
skelekittycat
2/2 so I think a lot of her bastardisations come from learning English from her mum when she was little. Can't blame her cause it's cute.
idownvoteplottwist
"Expecially"
TrustMeImBritish
Axparagus
roguechikken
"gots to" as in "he gots to go to the store later"
Imthedroidyouwerelookingfor
I'd like to axe you a question.
askaglassofwater
"Chimbley" *shudder*
WillYouMarrowMe
What is that supposed to be?
askaglassofwater
Yes, chimney
FriendlessJoeTheCrazyHobo
I believe it's "chimney" but that's just my guess.
askaglassofwater
Nicely translated ;)
NalaTheLionQueen
Ecspecially. That's one that pisses me off
barbaramanatee
Omg me too. It's harder to say it the wrong way than the right way.
holyHamWallet
Can I AXE you something?
Flyndaran
Funny that that's how it was pronounced MANY centuries ago.
QuietlyJudgingYou
"I could care less"
skelekittycat
Using 'what' instead of 'that'. "There was this person what said this" No. Fucking no.
AreYouSuggestingThatCoconutsMigrate
Mother fucker don't even go there...
MRSHomerJSimpson
Taking something for "granite". Should, could or would "of".
busydad
omg I hate that one. Good one to add to the list.
LateNightBunnyParty
Spelling "ur" instead of "your/you're." Ur was an ancient Sumerian city, not a bastardized abbreviation for an already short word.
Gun10ck
Amen
busydad
replying with only K in a text
Flyndaran
Ur is also sometimes used to mean the prototypical example for just that reason, I bet.
carpmazing
Irregardless drives me up the wall!
slipperygspotnastypose
unfortunately, it is now a recognized word, so it won't be going anywhere
UsernameNotTakenYet
I like irregardless. I am aware of the mistake, but use of the word reminds me of so many tv shows where it was used wrong. It's like a pun.
ZombieDK
my husband still says 'it was just acrossT the street.' emphasis on the T. We've been together 10 yrs, I try and correct him every time.
busydad
you should r u n n o f t
ZombieDK
heh. good reference. :)
ButYouAintGotNoLegs
My husband sometimes says dramatic when he means traumatic. He knows the difference, but when speaking he mixes them up.
busydad
I knew a woman who would say "I just couldn't phantom that" instead of fathom. Although I am still not sure that fathom is used properly
justchelsea
Idear. As in what's the big idear? I had a good idear.
KiyrantiTol
Ah, Eastern MA at it's... uh... "finest".
sj2890
Warsh. As in I warshed the dishes!
aserenitatum
So most Australian and British people are a no for you?
idownvoteplottwist
It shows up in New England accents.
justchelsea
My husband prefers i not date. But I've mostly heard it mixed into American accents from the south. Pronounced I-deer.
busydad
I can understand why he would not want you to date, being that you are married to him and all.
missladymondegreen
Canadian?
justchelsea
I don't hear a lot of it in Ontario.
OmgPleaseSendCoffeeASAP
Screwel instead of squirrel. That's one I've heard frequently
bachterman
screwball squirrel.
ieldanth
Depends on nationality for that one. My wife can't say 'squirrel' either. It comes out like "squrrrr".
OmgPleaseSendCoffeeASAP
British, if it helps.
SirNoTouchingTheDogPlease
How about "chick munk"?
bachterman
chink monk?
OmgPleaseSendCoffeeASAP
Not heard that, we don't have "chick munks" here, but oh god :(
SirNoTouchingTheDogPlease
We used to have them. I haven't seen one in years and the black squirrels keep getting bigger.
OmgPleaseSendCoffeeASAP
Where are you from?
JakeEnBake
Seriously, anyone else concerned about mustard girl?
Fraunkie
The moon landing one really bothered me
theycallmeMrGlass
The only logical reason I can think of for her doing that is she was trying to get him to break up with her.
icantgotoprisonroytheyllrapetheflipoutofme
"Creep wouldn't take the hint, so resorted to using my hands to apply mustard to my fries"
theycallmeMrGlass
"It's a drastic measure, but damn it, it works 3 out of 5 times. "
ArandomDane
I imagine the break up happened mid smear going "nope nope NOPE NOPE" while backing away.
Thnxforsharing
I love mustard but have never imagined madness like that
wellwellwelllookwhoscomecrawlingback
Concerned but amused.
blonx
I know right! Just pour it into your mouth from the bottle. Crazy lady that one.
Velexis
Yeah.. Who the fuck puts mustard on their fries?
SecondSpecialSnowFlake
Tis beyond reason.
JapaneseStudentTadashii
I was. What the fuck?
IAmAGoodPerson
That can't be real.
Cassiraa
no, she got what she deserved.
rawhiders
Do you live in China.
Howsurmuddflap
Yeah that person is a mess. Probably the best reason in this list to break up.
DidItForScience
That underwear guy though.
MamaWhip
Good Lord, how old was this girl? It makes no sense.
Puppydonk
She's a monster, and we have to stop her...She can't keep getting away with this.
itiscalledaPUPPYyoutwat
Definitely a cereal killer
droFnasb
That truly is a horrifying thing.
JinxLeMinx
Yeah, who licks mustard out of their hand without a healthy shake of Parmesan??
DidItForScience
Her and the underwear guy. Uhhhhhh.... WAT?!
Sabyla
Lol
theavengingewok
I have a friend who puts a line of sauce on each individual fry. So weird and it takes forever.
keyblader1985
That girl ain't right.
Grimdyn
I love how the replies are mixed between actual concern, jokes and finally theories.
isleptonit
Hey, thats somebodys fetish
dogneely
I can confirm
mycatToastwasafatasshole
I had a ghetto friend in high school who would do that with mayo. She'd put mayo on her fries. That's one strike already. But damn.
DidItForScience
You just alienated everyone in the Netherlands with that mayo on fries strike.
sandball
Mayo on fries is legit. Haven't you ever dipped your fries in a burger before?
yotisot
I didn't know that was a thing haha
gazxog42
Nope, I am ok with mustard girl
javierjabanero1
you can't jippa the dippa
rowdynoo
"I'M HOME-CUMMING!!!!"
DrJohnnyZoidberg
Looooooooooooooool! Omg I forgot about that!
BagginDragon
Can someone repost it here? I could use a good laugh.
blahblahghost
Yes! We're bringin it back!
RobbyBobson
Oh the memories of that rollercoaster ride _O_ thank you for the throwback
MamaKin
She probably didn't like him and was finding ways to get out of the "relationship" by being a slob.
Grimdyn
Reasonably theory, it's all about context so no going to rebut that. I just wanted to say that slob was too weak of a word.
Grimdyn
Reasonable theory, it's all about context. Still I think slob is a weak word to describe what she was doing, it go
oZsh1rts
Sense. You're not making much.
Grimdyn
I apologize? Oh I see the it go part, I could of sworn I finished writing that sentence.
SithHaveBetterSex
That is not only gross, but incredibly inefficient.
WhatYearIsThis
My exact thought
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RyleKussell
I used to think it was weird, but I was in Germany recently and they only had mustard and mayonnaise available for their fries. I was sad.
SithHaveBetterSex
This woman had to have been trolling.
comeflywithme
We can only hope.
qindje
Pretty normal in Belgium. Good fries with a sauce is awesome. It can be mustard, mayo, andalouse, samurai, yoppie, ketchup, curry, etc...
TimeisanIllusionLunchTimeDoublySo
Hey now, I put mustard on fries, but like a normal weirdo, by dipping. I don't pretend I'm floating mustard drywall.
Iamdarkwingduck
It's grossly inefficient
SaltyDitchDr
It needed to be said, I laughed way too hard. Thank you
Iamdarkwingduck
i got you fam
betaborp
it's tasty, man. try it sometime. the bitter and salty flavours really compliment eachother
sixpintsofbitterandquicklyplease
Wow I didn't know darkwing duck knew how to use the Internet!
Rodarn
+1 friend
Iamdarkwingduck
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuQK6t2Esng
Iamdarkwingduck
haha jk