Asalym
728536
16322
210
Aug 10, 2014 9:21 PM
Asalym
728536
16322
210
OHwait4itIO
I always thought I was the first to google something when it didnt autofill
PoondockSaint
*Searches for self on google* "You're the first to search this!" *Smile and release balloons as tears slowly trickle down my face*
reptilez
The mute button on microwave has been a thought for years. I would like to be able to set a time span when it is muted (ex: 20:00 - 06:00)
jefner535
My parents have a microwave you can turn the sound off on! Why isn't it more widespread?!
reptilez
Good question. GE seams be the only ones with their heads on straight
bashmuttons
YESSS I have a GE microwave and it is pure bliss!
SedentaryNomad
God, if we did that with elections no one would ever get elected.
SuperWorldChampionshipBowlSeries
The ability to search for a business along your current route, i.e. "Is there a McDonalds on the way to the Child Beauty Pageant?"
grackle
My microwave has a mute button.
jdr767
My microwave will beep incessantly if I use it as a timer but don't hit "cancel" when its done...I hate that microwave
findmeinbadcomments
Try pressing "cancel" when its done.
jdr767
I know that works but if I am in the middle of something else like cooking and I can't it will beep incessantly, never had one do that
HULKSMASHBettycrylatherrinserepeat
Mine is a chirpiest, most demanding bastard I've ever met and its built-in. And old.
jeffreyBawesome
the last one would end pretty bad lol
ifinallyfeelathome
I would LOVE to have the mute button when someone is over the decibel level. yelling louder doesn't make your point better.
KrazyMateo
I can imagine that happening on Fox/CNN- and the other guy just laughing at their misery of yelling inability.
Khaaaaaaaaaaan
YES IT DOES!!!
likeabakerikneadthedough
I don't think it'll help much to be honest, unless it included a "full of shit" meter & a "logical fallacy" detector- 3 strikes & ur muted?
Lugh314159
Every fox news program would have no sound after the first two minutes.
renakunisaki
Solution: host Fox News on Twitch.
ScaleScentedAnalDildo
Fine with me.
eternalstar01
I'm not an audio engineer (just an all-around AV tech), but if limiters are as customizable as I'm led to believe, then this (1/2)
eternalstar01
technology already exists (2/2)
LurkN
yet sadly not used :(
SpoookyScarySkeletons
Car Shazam is genius
Tariq182
But also impossible
DrYoloMcSwagmasterIIIEsq
Just buy a fucking OBD reader, they're like $20 now
SpoookyScarySkeletons
really? that is good to know actually
jackbos
Those STI condoms would require a chemical that changes color in the presence of an STI. If you invent that you'll be a billionaire.
sowetoninja
...and it shouldn't be harmful to the user.
DrunkGermanGuy
Let's not forget about the fact that said chemical must also be perfectly safe to insert into someones mouth, or lady parts, or anus ...
renakunisaki
I like how you listed mouth first.
DrunkGermanGuy
I didn't really think about it ... maybe I just followed the porn pattern: mouth -> pussy -> ass
ASingleOliveGardenBreadstick
Kay BRB
thetonestarr
I like to pretend you wrote this and immediately took off to a lab.
thegr8rambino
will do
ifinallyfeelathome
The holepunch one is actually really great. I bet someone sells them somewhere... I should look into that...
redpandafox
Yeah, that's not new, it is being sold on the internet.
JonesEnemaBagJones
The image above looks like maybe a 3D mock-up. Probably used for a proposal to make the product. They often do a nice job.
briman0094
well, given the fact that there was a picture of one, I'd guess it does exist somewhere. not sure why it's in this album if so...
renakunisaki
It needs to be more common.
ifinallyfeelathome
It could be a mock up design for a product that hasn't been made yet.
MariBittersweet
I got one from Staples, its only partially clear, but it helps to line up the holes, until you don't dump the little paper out.
thebrownknightrises
Here's the page, couldn't find where they sell it though :( http://www.yankodesign.com/2010/10/29/no-guessing-only-clear-punching/
Grubbwyrm
Congratulations! You are the first person to Google "a;ldkfja;dlkfja;ldkfj;lsdkkddsijfowio"
LexKanashii
- just to check if there is internetz
Guest02384
False. My cat googled "a;ldkfja;dlkfja;ldkfj;lsdkkddsijfowio" last week while I was trying to finish a proposal for work.
orbitn
six results.
Atharaenea
Maybe it does, but everything's already been googled.
Holly164
Maybe, but some of my searches get no results. I know just because it doesn't exist doesn't mean no-one else is looking, but still...
Jennyfromthedock
The ones that excited me most were this and the hole punch... I really need to get a life
jefner535
Doubt it
Sirioswh40k
i looked it up in googletrends nothing came up
Sunil227
So did I, something came up
fellshard
Weird Al made a song just for you...
IAlwaysUpvoteHermione
Congratulations! You are the first person to Google anal asian armless midget squirting porn. Just kidding!
UnspokenX
was gonna say...
MyBanjoStringFeaturesInTheDeliverance
My dick already tells me when it's come in contact with an STI - it turns green, burns when i piss and emits a yellowish discharge.
Shargan8
Chlamydia
CaptainJackJack
DNAhole
can't breathe. +1
Darksideofuranus
Nice
RyanK252
artist's rendering http://students.english.ilstu.edu/kmwolf/repurposing/Images/tree.gif
Macewindow54
yellowish discharge? yea thats piss
bipolarmolar
think more dripping yellow custard
renakunisaki
I'd rather not.
Macewindow54
delicious
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
That is a mental image I did not need.
iLynux
You need Jesus.
Macewindow54
he also was delicous
MundaneFacts
til every sti has symptoms that present on both genders that can be noticed externally.
MyBanjoStringFeaturesInTheDeliverance
Who said they're symptoms, it's just how my dick lets me know it's in contact with someone who has an STI.
ImASexyUnicorn
Oh totally, syphilis never goes unnoticed before a person randomly goes insane...
tewan
My microwave has a mute setting...
7r3b3k
For mine you can disable the sound in the settings. I think you can change it to display in spanish too...
Kerrigan181
Same here. I assumed most do nowadays.
PCthug
Mine, too.
bashmuttons
is it a GE microwave?
huanthewolfhound
^This. My office has a GE microwave and someone accidentally found the mute button, so we let it be.
Beezneez86
The shower timer totally exists.
intooblv
It's called a clock.
OvercomerJoshua1
What they need is a gauge of how much HOT WATER is left.
ashley4ever
yaaaaas.
MeganMeow
In Australia they sent us little 3 minute hourglasses that suctioned onto the glass/wall to keep track of our showertime.
trinhbot
yea california gave out a bunch of these during one of their water-saving initiatives many years ago. they'll probably do it again now
Cuddlebutt
I like the reasoning behind this, but monitoring water flow is more important than time. Especially with different shower heads and pressure
Cuddlebutt
Could have a nice 20 min shower with the same amount water that your neighbour uses is 3 minutes. Also temp dials rather than 2 taps.
Cuddlebutt
In Japan, every shower I used had either analogue or digital temperature in celsius separate to the thing for pressure.. pure brilliance
ILoveDatPittyFace
Why the hell is a clear hole puncher not a thing yet!? It's 2014 people!! SCIENTISTS! GET ON THIS!
grimarr
How about instead of solar A/C units for all the cars, we put solar panels over all the parking lots? Generates electricity and shades cars
PixelSticker
Google already does this on many of their parking lots. It saves them $$ on electric bills. I wish more companies did this, keeps cars cool.
atalantachan
There's one row of these at a park nearby, and I saw a lot full of them in Cali while I was there. We need more of them, shade is wonderful
PixelSticker
Google already does this for many of its parking lots. Electricity generated saves $$ on electric bills. Wish more companies did this.
gorillaimage
I've seen those in Germany
MadMaxGuitarGuy
the local library by my house has that in the parking lots, it really is a great idea
[deleted]
[deleted]
suihcta
ugh i thought we already talked about why this was a bad idea
Rimm
Umm, we did? Where and when? ._. Explain pls n.n
bsuvo
y?
DrYoloMcSwagmasterIIIEsq
Basically its super expensive, uses non-recyclable materials, and with current/near-future technology wouldn't be effective
Candymostdandy
13. A cigarette that is actually healthy to smoke and bolsters your lung function and immune system and tastes like cinnamon toast crunch.
AmericanAirlines
forgive me padre for i have sinned
CommanderCaribou
or a candy cane for a seasons greetings to your lungs!
HomiieEric
AN E Cig? lol
GMark
But could anyone explain why kids love them?
MarlinCivetta
:D
thegr8rambino
hey, i like you
MicahL
I like the cut of your Jib
GittOffMee
You like the dot above the letter "i"...
kilolover7777
Oh my god yes
kevinallover
For those saying e-cig, this could be done. Rather than nicotine, the liquid could contain vitamins or medication.
DrSexyMD
The problem is any inhaled particles irritate your lungs. They have inhalers with medicine but you don't want to overdose.
Simusar
Considering you can overdose on anything, that's a blanket statement.
DrSexyMD
I meant over dose, as in any inhalant in a high enough dose causes problems. It is a blanket statement.
sowetoninja
we want nicotine, just not the other stuff.
Simusar
American Spirits, additive free tobacco.
SirusKing
If the tobacco contains nicotine, it is addictive.
Simusar
I didn't say addictive free, I said additive free, the the cigarettes are tobacco, paper, and cotton filter. No added chemicals/fiberglass
elfoe
Medicinal things like this exist, they're called nebulizers I believe
cousteau
Can be used to smoke too; I saw that in a movie.
PresidentProTempore
As an asthma sufferer, these stupid machines were my life when I was younger. Literally and metaphorically.
jyetie
Oh god, that hissing when it was almost out and you were free! No other noise has ever brought me such joy.
Cryonight
So...an ecig?....For the most part I guess. Havent found any SOLID proof it hurts or helps. *shrug*
[deleted]
[deleted]
colacp
Any chemical? Any chemical at all? Because OXYGEN AND NITROGEN ARE CHEMICALS!
SquirtleSquad420
Oxygen can be very harmful actually.
colacp
So can turtles.
MelfsAcidArrow
ecig still can't be used on oxygen - heating element gets hot enough to kaboom your cannula.
blacksteve
It may not be hurting your lungs but... it's still nicotine.
Cryonight
you can get ejuice without nicotine in it. In fact I make my own with 2mg of nicotine in them. 2 mg is equal to 1/9th of a cigs nic.
Candymostdandy
Do they have CTC flavor e-cigs???
Cryonight
If you can think of a flavor..It exists. Im currently vaping apple pie. And yes, the flavors are usually dead on.
MelfsAcidArrow
smoking is disgusting and all smokers should die. oh wait ...
Cryonight
I respect your opinion, but its not going to stop me. Im fine doing my own thing.
DrSexyMD
ecigs are MARGINALLY safer than cigarettes. http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/studies-reveal-health-risks-e-cigarettes
ImASexyUnicorn
E-Cigs TRY but they're not there yet. Smokers need to *feel* like they're inhaling smoke. I smoke, TO SMOKE, I've never had nic-withdrawls
dominaeleonora
You're talking about what vapers call a "throat-hit", and that is available on lots of different e-cigs.
Cryonight
You can change nicotine with juices. the base mgs of nicotine in juices is usually 3 ,6 ,12 ,18(a normal cig) ,24 , and 36.
whatsthematterwithren
Oh man the airplane one please!! I'm so awkward with strangers already, putting me in a situation I can't escape isn't recommended
ObviousCaptain
As socially awkward as I am, I don't mind chatting with people as long as I don't have to lead the conversation.
YouJustKindaWantIt
Telling a person you don't care to talk with them usually shuts them up
joonday
I think too many people would choose the "quiet" option
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
Meh, doesn't matter. It would still work.
ThisGuyDisguisedTheSkies
You would end up talking anyways because both parties already know something about one another, thus the ice be broken.
millol
I would like the same option for roommates at hospitals. When I'm sick I want to rest and sleep. Not talk to strangers.
Yoinkadelic
Who strikes up a conversation with their neighbour on a plane, anyway? I've been on quite a few flights and spoken maybe a few words to 'em.
Yoinkadelic
(I actually spend half the flight sitting there feeling lonely, wishing that whoever's sitting next to me would start chatting to me)
Yoinkadelic
(I spend the other half drinking Baileys and doodling on the barf bags... wait, why are they changing seat? D:)
ImASexyUnicorn
I'm for the airport one in the opposite way! I feel so much more awkward sitting next to a stranger and not interacting. People interest me.
ThisPostNeedsMoarPuppies
Found the problem guy. (Seriously though, good for you. People ARE interesting. And scary. But interesting.)
jillton
I often fly long haul flights - I like some chat but not constant. There'd need to be a "somewhere in between" option.
sesamharold
As someone frequently flying long distances, I'd like a different version of that airplane thing: "Flirt" or "Non flirt". 1/2
sesamharold
2/2 Imagine a 13 hours flight with a flirt-willing hot chick sitting next to you.
ThisPostNeedsMoarPuppies
I'm with generic-brand Arya on this one.^ Everyone likes the idea of flirting, until 'fill-in-your-least-attractive-archetype' sits down.
ireya
What if they put that but you do not like em, and they try to flirt w/ you the whole flight, & then get mad bc you put flirt and wont flirt?
Manateechica
I just want to read my book in peace. I would love this.
sowetoninja
I once sat next to this teenage girl, she was completely quite and looked really shy,once in a while looked to the side. I felt bad and >
imnotwearingunderweartoday
At first I was gonna say did you talk to me, but I don't have much to say.
sowetoninja
>thought I would just say hi so the awkwardness can go away, immediately she 'changed', she talked non-stop AT me for the entire trip, even>
sowetoninja
>the people around us started getting irritated.
IceMice
You stepped on a landmine huh
PatchesPetunias
On the last one: I hold that a lot more people in the US would vote if we could choose who we DIDN'T want in office. Incumbents included.
FalafelisImportant
In very few states it's already a choice to choose "none of these candidates." Nevada is one.
TigerTheCat
We have that option here (Colombia) It's called "voto en blanco". It almost won one time in a major city and politicians panicked (1/2)
TigerTheCat
because if it wins, the candidates have to be replaced and the elections are held again with new people. (2/2)
MCBAIN4
None of the above is going and non-voting. I've done it before in Calgary. You just say you would like to not cast your vote. They record...
rocketchick
I believe it's like that everywhere in Canada, declining to vote is an option.
MCBAIN4
That you came, so not to be considered voter apathy, and you don't have to vote for any asshats.
Cacahouete
Oh man, now I really want the one about Google. It would be awesome
CrackingPostGromit
Or it would show you just how unique and pretentious a pervert you are.
CheeseCubed
What if someone is searching porn, and Google tells them?
Harmonex
Rule 34 suggests that the search has already been done.
RydWolf
You are the first person to search for [hot ostrich relationships tobacco -emu]. Please reevaluate your priorities.
airandfingers
Google's all about speed, and having to read to and write from a database for every unique query could slow things down. (1/2)
Harmonex
Sounds like the same thing as automatically completing people's searches for them. Good thing they don't, because Google's slow as it is.
airandfingers
That is similar, but I doubt their algorithm bases suggestions entirely on past searches, or suggests any query that's ever been made.
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
Easy: search "hdhshsksjfbsyaodbtuwvfkrhshzbruehdhfhwidn".
Sabatonian
People would just Google stuff like: sojbgajngouRGNjbojbnoJNojgGRGNlrjgnaob...
Iamyu2
No man, every guy will google their name and penis. Imagine if you are not the first.
manualoverride
I want an option to contact others who have Googled the same thing; that way, when I can't find what i'm lookng for I can ask if they did.
airandfingers
(2/2) Also, it would motivate people to type in bullshit until they get the "unique query" message, and every query costs Google a tiny bit.
Cacahouete
So basically, we could like, make Google crash. It gets better and better
airandfingers
Haha, my point was that Google has reasons not to implement this. Now I wonder if Google crashing would cause deaths, like power outages do.
Cacahouete
It could make things interesting. And I'm sure it would be a plus on a resume, like others interests : make Google crash
paulec252
This implies that google loses money on every search, which I don't think is true.
airandfingers
Good point, Google makes mad ad money. However, if this feature led to inflated search stats, the ads would lose some of their actual value.
tasteslikechaos
Yea I believe this is what you would call the opposite of thier business plan. "Damn man, hope no one Google's today, can't afford it"
bananabiscuit
I already waste enough time online, that would just suck away more hours trying to Google something original!
Cacahouete
Well, that's a good point, but it's not like we had anything to do outside which would be as fun sooo
CheeseCubed
Just think of a REALLY weird porno
reptilez
Solar powered AC is available in the 2010 Prius and I would guess a few other cars as well.
1kounter
we had a 2004 e-class with solar powered a/c when parked
JohnLennonjohtotorni
Audi has had these available atleast a decade.
InsanityBuildsCharacter
it doesn't run the ac, just ventilates the car..
brokntoy
If you grind up a price and melt it down, it makes great diesel fuel.
DucGuySharkBitenomNomnom
Been available in the luxury car market for a long long time
jyb906
Audi A8 too
tooomanysteves
Need more efficient solar panels in order to get serious A/C.
ZacMuerte
the fan (which people have pointed out is all this is) can also be a window insert, I used to have one of them. it helps, but not a lot
stayhumblebee
As an Arizonan.... I need this feature.
Eaagle
www.amazon.com/Kulcar-Solar-Powered-Car-Ventilator/dp/B00J97X2YG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1407730885&sr=8-1&keywords=solar+powered+car+fan
ReFreezed
Needs more blue... http://www.amazon.com/Kulcar-Solar-Powered-Car-Ventilator/dp/B00J97X2YG
Eaagle
Sorry about not having a blue link. I had to take off the http:// so it would fit
edyc292
Amazon does this bullshit bloating of links where it'll save what you searched to find it. Remove "ref" and so on and it'll still work.
Eaagle
Ah, thank you!
starzty
I had a friend with a Volvo that shipped with this in the early 2000s, pretty nice feature.
dredknought
The leaf has this too
Eaagle
Theres something you can buy off amazon that latches onto your window. Let me find it
EchoOfSnac
I probably would have modded my car with a solar-powered fan if I knew how to work with metal (and if I wasn't lazy).
reind33r
Audi has had this feature from the 90's I believe. It was called Solar Roof or something...
deranger
Isn't that a fan, not A/C?
mistermystery
Yup. Doing the math, given the available energy, actual refrigeration wouldn't be as effective.
wizardboy24
It just equalizes the inside and outside temp instead of acting like a greenhouse.
SuperJere
As a native Floridian, it's far better to get into a 95º car than a 150º car. It's easier on the air conditioner once it's on, too!
deranger
So yes
Lugh314159
That would be enough!
Abbeel
That last one is brilliant.
HypoMix
Wouldn't preference voting work better?
DesmondIsMyConstant
in Canada you can just leave it blank and it means none of the above
Johnclark1
India actually had the None of the above option in the last General election. 551 million people voted !
MMMisterAnderson
India actually implemented this from this year, with a guarantee that above 15% would really in reelection
logicalphallacy
That last one actually exists in a few countries, and in the US in Nevada. It has had mixed results.
hannes3120
I think India got this option recently if I'm not mistaken
cilipini
It exists in Norway, for instance
IMadeAnAccountJustToWriteThis
A better system would be to give everyone a 'first choice' and 'second choice'. No more worrying about wasting your vote on a dark horse.
Studoku
The UK tried that but a bunch of drooling morons who didn't know how it worked voted against it.
IMadeAnAccountJustToWriteThis
Drooling morons ruin everything.
kapteinsabeltann
Norway (and a whole lot of other countries as well I guess) has that. It doesn't ever come close to "winning".
ImTheMotherfuckingBatman
We got that one here in Brazil. I usually use it. Few people do, though.
ImTheMotherfuckingBatman
We can't NOT vote though.
Barkinsons
Russia has/had this IIRC
porchside
And nothing would ever get done.
AlexTargaryen
That last one is why we have primary elections, so at least a majority of a each party likes a candidate.
hencethequeef
A very small percentage of the population decides who even makes it into the primary. http://on.ted.com/Lessig
acertainjenesaisquoi
And also allows the country to truly cripple itself with debt from constant elections.
simbion
I live in a small town. 1 election cost over $40,000. Pay for programing voting machines, ballots, election worker, etc. shits expensive.
fashionyourseatbelts
And that's different to how things are currently..?
acertainjenesaisquoi
Because one election is expensive as hell. Imagine 10 of them.
fashionyourseatbelts
take it out of the "defense" budget
acertainjenesaisquoi
For America, that would work. Other countries, it most likely would not.
fashionyourseatbelts
or don't make elections such a joke to begin with
aykyle
Exactly. A lot of money goes into those campaigns. A LOT.
Koantum
The same amount of campaign money would just be spread among more candidates. The elections themselves would be pricey though.
Eldibs
Good, then we can bankrupt people who try to buy politicians through campaign funds.
Atharaphelun
Campaigns aside, preparations for each election itself costs a large sum of money. Constant election without results is crippling.
Eldibs
Oh, I understand that and agree. I just like the idea of bankrupting people who try to buy power.
DorcasAurelia
I'm pretty sure it already exists.
astropapi1
Don't you have a "White vote" in your country?
CypherVirus
yea... it's what the Republicans have been trying to put into law for the last few decades. You have to be white to vote...
ngthagg
So if none of the candidates are popular enough to win, the solution is to try again with less popular candidates? Brilliant.
Abbeel
It's not about popularity, it should be about policies.
bitme
In Canada you can destroy your ballet as a sign of no confidence
TheBrownCoatsAreComing
You can, however, formally decline your ballot, which is sort of like saying none of the above.
ngthagg
Destroying your ballot means it is set aside and not counted. That's it.
ImAHumanSpeederIBumpIntoTrees
I thought it meant you were voting for no one AKA denouncing all parties and it was counted as such? Does that make sense...
bampolampy
You are right, although it depends on the local government correctly interpreting the data. A lot of places have that convention
Pseudodraconian
after 32 years we've now tried to elect every person in this country, time to move to candidates from the UK
TheLittleFlyingDutchGirl
This sounds like something that could happen in Belgium xD
piratepocketknife
I think we'd go to Canada first
Pseudodraconian
I am already in Canada
TheNextBestUsername
...starting with The Queen. Plot twist: she wins.
thiscannotpossiblygowrong
The damn monarchists were right after all!
Atharaphelun
(2) she will reorganize the republic into the second British Empire, for a safe and secure society...
Atharaphelun
(1) Plot twist: She has been planning it all this time, and will end with an orchestrated war which will give her emergency powers, and then
lapus
The queen is a pretty cool chica.. I would have tea with her.
samhorne
They're not that much better over here if I'm honest with you dude.
Pseudodraconian
true but I refuse to nominate an American
galorni
they actually seem to be getting worse...
samhorne
Definitely. The conservatives are ruthless, and UKIP are just plain mad.
CaptainSarcasmAwaaay
CaptainSarcasmAwaaay
...and he won the election.
burns1200
In Canada we have the right to refuse our vote- same thing as the last one
Studoku
Does it actually cause a re-election though? Because spoiled ballots are almost as much of a waste of time as voting for a candidate.
burns1200
I'm not sure, not too many people know about it tho
TheBrownCoatsAreComing
If the number is high enough, yes. The ballots aren't considered spoiled, you're formally declining your vote.
suihcta
I'm confused... is voting mandatory then? cause in the US we all just stay home on Election Day and nobody says boo
TheBrownCoatsAreComing
No it isn't. Formally declining your ballot means that you are exercising your right to vote, and you don't like your options.
suihcta
sounds kinda like pleading "no contest". it's the same result as pleading guilty, just makes you feel better. sounds like a waste of gas.
TheBrownCoatsAreComing
Not voting is essentially giving up your democratic right to vote.
suihcta
that's not right... you don't give up rights by not exercising them. I have the right to free speech, but doesn't mean I HAVE to speak
suihcta
I choose not to vote for candidates that I don't support. some of the time, that means I stay home altogether. clear conscience here.
chrisptaco
every last one of these needs to happen. Someone get really rich and make it happen NOW!
OvercomerJoshua1
This is the kind of list I should have been keeping since I was 5. If i had i would certainly be in a richer place right now!
ImNachoGuy
I think it would be much easier to get that Tesla guy to join imgur
blacksteve
You've got it backwards. "Someone make it happen NOW and get really rich!"
chrisptaco
Well touche good sir
pleasegoogleShakerAamerpleasegoogleDavidKelly
Condom one brings new meaning to the phrase all clear
Tupacabra
balkingtowinnie
people would see this as discrimination (specially the SJW) it would be a nightmare, the company would be boycotted to hell
Zocram
An STI? Like the Subaru?
RosesAreRedMyBedIsGreenIWantYouInItIfYouKnowWhatIMean
The issue with that is that it could be considered and invasion of their privacy.
MagicMissilePlus5
Glowing condom fight! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNTg2Uz7-pM
ishouldbedoinghw
The false positives and negatives would be a nightmare.
Klingon00
Yeah, it would be virtually impossible to test for EVERYTHING, and would give a false sense of security.
flallen
Yeah, this would be quite the disaster.
iSoulend
I think this one in particular is unrealistic, along with the solar powered and election things.
Harmonex
Unrealistic, but could happen. The solar air conditioner comes with its own problems, and the election one would need amendments.
orbitn
The election one will be irrelevant once I become emperor of the world. Would you like a earldom?
PhuGetThat
Oh, sir....I give you my approval. *claps*
ZinthenameoftheMeatball
The microwave one exists. At least mine has it.
itdoesntmatternoneofthismatters
Wouldn't this one actually discourage people who know that they have an STI from using condoms, because they'd feel ashamed?
thegr8rambino
eh not really
psych0bunneh
I think the idea is that the person WITHOUT the STI would force the issue or bail.
Harmonex
Only if all condoms were like that. These would cost much more and would presumably not be necessary for every encounter.
completelyunfiltered
It might be hard to tell if it was the inside or outside that changed color though.
Harmonex
It would let you know that you should probably go get tested regardless.
FlightoftheBumbleBear
I'd imagen it would be like checking the car's oil.
orbitn
If you pull the dipstick out and it's turned fluorescent green with orange spots.. what does that mean?
FlightoftheBumbleBear
Needs a new filter.
SorryForTheLateResponse
But how does the guy know if the girl is STI free?
fishflakes
I imagine it would still work as it still comes in contact with an STI. The fun part is figuring out which one has the STI.
Kasoni
It would come in contact with the guy first. If he puts it on and no change, he is cleared...
fishflakes
But wouldn't it need to be exposed to infected semen first?
firsttimescientist
once he puts his dick in
1Rogue
That seems kind of pointless tbh, if you're already using a condom, then you're (usually) protected. If not, you don't know.
catleesiisthenewblack
Also, it's already coming in contact. So you're not really preventing anything, just giving your partner a test
warick
Useful information for next time. Whether you raw dog it or not.
rydomac
Don't quite a few STIs like HPV only require contact with the genital area?
1Rogue
That's what I said usually, things like that wouldn't even be protected with the condoms pictured.
asheara
Condoms don't cover the entire genital area though, and a few can just be transferred from skin contact.
ShanGLi
It would be better to just have an at home STI test.
catatonicmoron
Isn't it the point of a condom to not worry about that shite
Automatvapen
Wtf is it even good for when you use condoms to avoid std's in the first place...
SubzeroAK
Or, "this is awkward".
TheLoneWandererOfTheWaste
That would be expensive as hell though. No one wants to pay a lot for condoms as is.
EGOT
I DO. LET ME PROVIDE YOU ASSHOLES WITH CONDOMS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
Harmonex
Expensive only for the first time with a new partner, and once every so often for diagnostic reasons.
DiCK14
If I used them that often then I would mind but no such luck.
IfNeededIWillExplain
Don't forget that these chemicals all have to be safe for more than just casual skin contact.
Barkinsons
There also wouldn't be a control as it is required in every quick test
VampireTeaParty
Still less expensive than kids. Like, by a lot
spinnytea
You only need it for the first time, after that you can use a regular one.
BreadyStinellis
Aw, like people only have sex in committed relationships. Cute.
Spitefultoast
Then just buy normal condoms and fuck whenever. Not everyone likes casual sex with strangers.
EMTFF647
From a medical standpoint. Legal you couldn't have these with out the concent of the carrier... tat HIPPA
milk72
do we say STI instead of STD now? and that changed from VD... why the fuck do we do this?
Yourmomsasauras
STIs and STDs are different things. [Generally] infection refers to something curable and disease to something permanent.
Trimbl
Disease is by no means permanent, it's just an illness that produces specific symptoms. Lyme Disease for instance is easy to cure early on.
Yourmomsasauras
Thank you for the correction Trimbl. It would seem that in the sexually transmitted realm, disease is when you've started showing symptoms.
jimmityjammity
Not all the infections STIs refers to are diseases and VD is a particular STI/STD.
thegr8rambino
dude who knows, i miss the 90s
ImmortalAzrael
I believe STI actually became the correct medical term in the late 80s/early 90s. They just continued to teach STD in schools because 1/2
thegr8rambino
because what? STI sounds like SDI the star wars defense thing lol
ImmortalAzrael
text books tend to be pretty out of date. 2/2
milk72
i just think way too many people are too far up their own asses thinking of cute and clever terms to express shit.
thegr8rambino
yeah, or try to be politically correct omg i hate everything about that, just talk about shit as it is lol
variablechange
Yeah seriously, who wants other people to know what they're talking about! Lets continue talking netspeak lolomg
milk72
dont even get me started on what we're supposed to call dudes who turn into ladies or ladies who turn into dudes. you need a damn dictionary
Itsboomtiemrightnow
The fourth one with the elevator already exists. Back when I was a little shit I pressed all the buttons in an elavator and the guy did that
fellshard
It's a terrible idea. Elevators are usually used as intended. Don't prioritize the worst case, especially if it harms the most common case.
KMV9
Until some dick who's "in a rush" gets on the elevator and cancels all floors so it goes straight to his
khora
I've seen several elevators in Asia where you just press it again to cancel.
OvercomerJoshua1
Always helps to just press the tight button the first time. . . I know. I'm a jerk.
knapra
Or just press the stop button. Usually works. I won't be responsible if anyone is stuck in one though.
Kimbongpal
almost every elevator in Korea does that.
NermingtonNermboat
In some elevators you can hold the door close button and the number button and it will take you directly to your floor without stopping.
briman0094
very, very rare. only a small percentage of Otis-made ones do that.
drixenol88
Our elevator cancels the floor if you double click it
LurkN
"double click it" i giggled
misteremjay
Depends on the elevator model. I have seen some that will clear all buttons if you press three floors at the same time.
fnoigy
The car problem one exists. It's called Car Talk :P
TheDogCollector
There are also a lot of places putting in solar panel carports!
ChaosLierLen637
Pikupn Dropohv is my favorite chauffeur.
sasquatchnz
They missed a primo opportunity to call it car tourque instead of talk
KirchoffsVoltageLaw
Its called get an OBD-2 reader.
johnson21
well it sounds like Rub-Ruuur-Reer. What's wrong with it?
TheFlyingHellfish
moar liek Cah Twalk.
misteremjay
Boston here, stahp.
TheFlyingHellfish
Don't stahp, yah wicket owa-some.
misteremjay
Nope, not even close. "Don't stahp kid, ya wikked ahsome". (Although, nobody says "wicked awsome". Either one or the other)
GoblinBankOfWobbleColumns
On En Pee AHH!
lobsterandskittles
car talk is outrageous
Onlyhereforthelaughs
And even though Van Gogh cuts off his other ear when he hears it, this is Car Talk, on National Public Radio.
shartsicle
Libertarians use "none of above" in primaries, suped-up Prius has solar AC, some elevators do button trick, & my microwave has quiet mode.
jefner535
Well isn't your life just fucking awesome
shartsicle
Seriously though, quiet microwave has changed my life
Tamaska
I'd never heard of Car talk and thought it was something for cooling your car left in the sun
justsherlocked
CLICK AND CLACK
wandergirl
Those guys are hilarious!
Skrewd
I never thought I'd see an Imgur dialogue about Car Talk and NPR. /swoon
linkedbyfate13
Wasn't there an Arthur episode where they were able to save the car because there was a rattle in the pipe or something?
ducatisteve
Describe the sound. Is it "brrrrrrrUUUMMMMMkakakaka", or more like a "bRRRRRRROmmmmmkakaKAKAKA"?
altonbrowndeserveshisownmemefuckyouifyoudisagree
i hope you get all the upvotes today
PhillipJFrenchFry
"888-CAR-TALK. That's 888-227-8255 hello you're on Car Talk." - Click and Clack
MyxlPlyxl
Imgur has a knack for making me hear voices in my head. Thanks.
FaceOfBeaux
Read it in their voice. (Obviously. Who else's voice would I read it in? Buzz Lightyear?)
CityOfThePath
I read that in Gilbert Gottfried's voice
NotExplosive
"888-CAR-TALK do you copy?!"
DrYoloMcSwagmasterIIIEsq
Why not just use an OBD reader?
ZacMuerte
while i see your point (and it looks like a cheap one is less than $20), there are many things that the computer simply doesn't know
DrYoloMcSwagmasterIIIEsq
Luckily, the things that it doesn't know are a much smaller list than the things an audio diagnostician doesn't know
wandergirl
Those guys are hilarious!
allthewhosinwhoville
I love Car Talk!
psykalag
Loved the funny names. Haywood Jabuzzoff.
Klingon00
The law firm of Dewey, Cheatem & Howe
fnoigy
As you should. It's like Top Gear for radio.
allthewhosinwhoville
It's too bad it's just the reruns now. NPR's new replacment sucks
fnoigy
THEY GOT A REPLACEMENT?!! You can't replace legend like that. Fuck, American Top Gear is proof.
allthewhosinwhoville
It's like the call and ask a doctor questions show. It's not funny and not nearly as helpful. Who else knows what the skrsh sound is?!
gordolio
Car talk radio show =/= shazam for cars. It's still a stellar idea.
mistersocrates
Indeed. You people have missed the idea entirely.
fnoigy
Are we talking about the same Car Talk?
gordolio
Are we talking about the same shazam?
renakunisaki
Are we talking about Digimon?
Raguleader
I thought we were talking about Captain Marvel.
Proudfoots
So does the timer on the shower, it's called when the hot water runs out. "Shit I been in here too long"
Lugh314159
Tankless water heaters heat on demand, so you never 'use up' all the hot water.
suomynonA
The water heater i have is a family-size one, so like 5 people i think. I cant imagine being in there that long to use up 5 showers worth.
GoogleFucker
This is exactly how I measure my time in the shower too
LavaAxe
Runs out? What is this, the middle ages?
Ryan
Not when you have a water system that NEVER gets cold. (I have it)
ZacMuerte
found the rich person with a tankless. or just someone living somewhere where pipes freezing is a problem
Proudfoots
Well fuck you!
jefner535
I thought Car Talk ended? Like they retired or something?
ivegottwolegs
It did end. Last year.
fnoigy
RERUNS!! and according to a few people here, they got new hosts, which is going as well as American Top Gear (awful)
ihatewhitepeople
I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure its the originals. Even so, it's still pretty amusing. Better than Prairie Home Companion.
Whyshouldicare
Hey I like Prairie Home Companion. Great stuff to listen to while going to church.
pricklypearanoid
Oh god A prairie home companion is so painfully unfunny
CaptainJackSbarro
I live in the Boston area, (where they're from) and I would be aware of new hosts by now. That may be a lie, sorry!
fnoigy
I really hope it is, because it would be a TERRIBLE shame. Let the show rest and rerun in peace!
CaptainJackSbarro
Did you hear the episode a couple weeks ago where they read the really eloquent hate mail letter? That was classic. I'll miss them. :')
idontwanttobeapirate
That awkward moment you are having sex and the color changes....
ImASexyUnicorn
RETREAT RETREAT!!!!
OneMillionBigMacsPlusOne
It comes out solid black from the confusion of the chemical warfare going on down there.....oh god...
TheRicM
That moment when the two of you invent a new color
aFloridaMan1
Yes, you would stop and seek medical help. Without it you would have no idea you are infected until you are already presenting symptoms.
BenTheHokie
"It's you." "Nah I'm pretty sure it's you."
ImmortalAzrael
I could honestly see people reacting violently to this. I really don't think it's a very good idea.
kickliquid
that awkward moment you are having sex, the color changes, and you keep having sex
SinceTimeImmemorial
"Wasn't Me" by Shaggy starts playing in the background...
KingoftheWildDucks
"These were white when I bought them"
eBLT4
Its like an inside joke now, he he
idontwanttobeapirate
No way! Lol
CaptianObvious
That awkward moment when it changes colors when you put it on. Lol
darkhazard
No baby, it was already blue I promise.
ImInuk
And when it comes out "I think it was already purple"
Iamyu2
HAHAHA that would be too funny for the guy. Cock block by your own cock
JHansi
Orcs are nearby.
Drowssapdrinker
and they shall feel my sting!
[deleted]
[deleted]
trustmeimalinguist
guys i think this is satire...i hope
eatingketchupchips
Your linguistic studies have taught you well my friend.
captainsciencebutt
Where exactly did you get that from? The STI condom would be just as helpful for the girl assuming she sees his dick after the condon is on.
eatingketchupchips
im being sarcastic. and possibly, but the comments on this post about said condom have suggested the opposite, hence the joke.
betterlatethannever
Ahahahahahahaha :)
PatchesPetunias
Or if someone designs them to turn red, because that could mean one of two things. Or two of two things . . .
grimbor
That awkward moment when the guy puts it on and it changes color
blindtrucker
But would you stop ? After all, you're wearing a condom ...
LiterallyYourMom
The question is, how do you know which partner's got the STI?
AzerilPridham
It would be sensible for both to check regardless
vezmus
The one that wants to keep going. The one that's legitimately freaking out is probably clean.
WereStillFlying
If the condom changes before entering the vagina
McKay91
Do you continue?
acme64
9....8...7...654321 GAME OVER
gotyournose
But does it still taste like strawberry then?
Barkinsons
Depends on your faith in latex
Thor561
In for a penny, in for a pound.
orbitn
I'm in for tuppence.
mrassplay
of course not! take it off and eat her out.
hotstuffcomingthru
paulec252
If the condom is as effective as its detection, then you should be fine anyway
Zodi
yeah but don't risk it. Don't be stupid for 20 minutes of fun.
Dsimonse
Doesn't matter. Still had sex.
theweeknd
we have a marathon runner here
TheGillMachine
Well, you ARE wearing a condom. It should be color coded, though. Like, yellow for "proceed with caution" and red for AIDS.
ButIDidntDieThoughItWasAJoke
What would black mean?
ThatLemonStealingHorse
Pull. Out. NOW!
emarieisme
You ded
PaidForFrontPageAdsAlmostRuinedThisSite
like SO dead
IPoopWithTheDoorHalfOpen
BIGASS PENIS
SomeWateryTartThrewASwordAtMe
You never go back.
DNAhole
That you're the owner of a black dick.
BigJulay
Jungle fever. Gets the best of us.
MinervaMeThis
You gon' die?
PyroDragon
The ATM disease, hepatitis
ninmonkey
Some people have the gene that makes them immune to AIDS
snohman
Where can I buy this gene and can I wear it like a pair of jeans?
acme64
that's not how that works. That's not how any of this works
meddlinpenguin
Is evolution killing AIDS? Can we say that yet?
Malgonien
I don't think its immune, I think its resistant.
ninmonkey
The mutation prevents it from attaching
DontWorryImMedicated
TWO matching ties!? What kind of hussy is buying these dresses??
Lonewolf0713
In case there's more than one date.
MissesVanbahlabahlabahloo
Regular tie(as seen in photo) or bow tie.
thebrownknightrises
Bow ties are the shit man.
SteveCraft
Indeed. I wore one to prom.
Teas
Hey now, just because a person has two dates doesn't make them a hussy. Don't be jelly.
Heisenbergerandfries
A bow tie and a neck tie maybe? Different patterns? Fabrics?
insearchoftheperfectusername
My dad and brother wore ties to match my dress at the grad banquet. I thought it was really sweet.
TheMagicalHindu
One for the pocket maybe?
demegeek
In case one gets dirty
btow
Welcome to 2015.
Kasoni
So when she reuses the dress the guy (since it won't be the same guy) can still match her even if the first kept the tie...
TroyAndAbedInStopmotion
I literally laughed at your comment for 2 whole minutes.
Fezkid1
Or how tacky it is to have perfectly matching ties. But then again brides demand this nonsense too. Guess it starts somewhere.
mylifeforhire
Bow tie and tie tie?
Klingon00
The poor guy with a large neck and/or long torso is SOL.
OddBaal
bowtie and necktie? duh?
TheSharkThatSpeaks
+1 for using the term hussy.
DontWorryImMedicated
Thanks Shark!
elijahriley
One for her boyfriend and one for her awkward single gay best friend *sobs*
DontWorryImMedicated
Your's is my favourite reply. +1 :)
elijahriley
It's a true story.
NordMan
I am so happy I wasn't the only one to question this!
TrustMeImTheDoctor
A windsor tie or a *sniff* bow tie...
UptownWitch
I know of at least one design house that does this.
Revvys
I had two prom dates... but one of them was a chick, so.....
graceling
I designed my dress and the dressmaker automatically made me a matching tie and handkerchief.
TheOxytocin
You never match your tie to your handkerchief. That's just wrong.
proxieme
http://imgur.com/PQfTprU
proxieme
Just kidding - Kaylee's dress was off the rack.
iamireland
Fucking badass.
timeywimeystarstuff
I kept reading "tie" as "tiers" and was incredibly confused
davidkohn
I guess you have the option of 'Fox' and 'everyone else' then.
pippi2
Maybe 2 guy friends?
Rivalyn
A wide tie and a narrow tie, OBVIOUSLY.
Capone184
This guy knows what it means to "Suit Up". Welcome to the brotherhood, Bro.
griffinzoth
One for the fat bf and one for the skinny bf
IMakeLotsOfReferencesAndRemakes
One long and narrow the other short and wide.
Innuendobot5000
To correspond with his dick's size, so she won't get a disappointing surprise at the hotel room or bathroom/dumpster after prom.
huanthewolfhound
Or either of those and a bow tie.
ThisGuyHere
Or silky vs fabric/twill or plain vs patterned
DemographicUnknown
But what about bowties?! Or string ties with matching bolos? I demand that these dresses come with at LEAST twenty varieties of ties.
zstorm6
Bowties are the shit
AnalGlass
geez.. I have two ties.. Black one for white shirt, and white for black shirt. Classy no matter what.
DemographicUnknown
Key to a good wardrobe is interchangeability, so that's an awesome approach! Trouble is I have one shirt for eevery color of the rainbow >_<
AnalGlass
I have a black suit, so I only need two different shirts (two of each tho. you know... reserves) And two pair of shoes/belts (brown/black)
CanadiansWilllRule
Ohhh narrow ties +1 or a bow tie. With suspenders. Gosh I love seeing the guys outfits at school dances, they are on point!
minecraft69
One for the girl (bc they usually wear it anyway) and one for the boy!
taraxgoesxboom
Annnd imagine the girl that doesn't have a date to prom. That would be depressing.
marquisdechocula
a necktie and a bondage tie
Simusar
All ties are bondage ties.
GreentextsForEverything
i like your thinking
ForkOfTerror
Note to self: wear zip ties on next date, see if things heat up.
Wabbajackwagon
See my whole reaction to that was "Wow, double reminder of the prom date I never had. Nice."
SpinnerMask
I was actually interpreting that as for a gay couple.
SecretCatPolicy
...so who gets the dress in this case?
SpinnerMask
The way I read it was that the matching tie thing would be two suits if the two matching ties option was taken.
SpinnerMask
I don't think I understood it right. It was just the explanation that popped into my head first.
MundaneFacts
but why wouldthey need a dress and two ties?
SpinnerMask
Misunderstood it as getting two suits if you chose the two ties option. Just the first explanation to come to me.
revcleo
Why not poly relationship?