TongueTiedLabourerfromtheLandoftheLittlePeople
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Source (not me): https://www.sheldoncomics.com/comic/2001-12-06/
#comic #genie #immortality
rbudrick
I imagine any time someone makes this wish, they become the genie and the genie is set free.
NicolasKevinMac
https://old.reddit.com/r/changemyview/comments/1dn43v/i_remain_unconvinced_that_my_death_has_a_fixed/c9s173k/
reddenbocker
Immortality is the FIRST wish. Then you wish for ways you can make use of your immortality, like traveling through space and always having an unlimited amount of good food, clothes and shelter. Dude could be cruising the universe meeting new species in an indestructible space mansion.
skywhisker
Immortality. The curse of loneliness at the end of time
GCRust
Immortality would suck without also wishing for immunity to disease. Imagine forever suffering with terminal cancer.
Ornado
As fucked as it is. I wouldn't mind this. Eventually you'd snap and go insane, but i'd be cool with that. I'd love to see some of the wild shit thats gonna happen to the universe.
mayhemonroads
Rookie mistake. It should be a bundle with forever healthy and forever young, not ageing, no sicknesses 😆
VodkaReindeer
The trick is to ask for eternal bliss
Myoldaccountsrevenge
Infinite cell regeneration would be better, then you got wolverine healing factor
Vineheart01
Ageless and immune to disease/viruses not true immortality. I wouldn't want to outlive the human race
qtRaven
Immortality Writing Prompt: /a/GWH1mEj
CandidGamera
What's this guy's problem with 10,000? Not to mention he got off easy, he got eternal youth on top without specifying. Imagine continuing to age but never dying. Now that's body horror.
Onlyhereforthelaughs
"Perfect health for life" Fine growing old, but I'm sick of getting sick.
AnonOmis1000
To be fair immortality is different from invulnerability.
shinagami091
Maybe that was one of his prior wishes
BryanTenn
I want to know where he buys his clothes. Damn stuff lasts!
M34665
that was either wish 1 or 2
ElFreakoDiablo
The heat death if of the universe is going to be fun
Hashbrown123
If Big Bang to heat death was a 24hr clock we are only at 30 seconds. So yeah, you got a ways to go.
FallingStar7669
First wish: "I wish that every wish I make, including but not limited to this one, is granted in the manner that I intend it to be." Second wish: "I wish that all foreseeable consequences of a wish that I might want to make become known to me when I conceive of the wish." Third wish: "I wish for omnipotence."
Kittynomnoms
Genie, who is not actually bound by any sort of rules but was just granting the wishes out of generosity or veiled malice: "how about no"
FallingStar7669
*shrug* "No sweat off my sack. Easy come, easy go. ... how 'bout this: I wish for two lifetime supplies of Ben & Jerry's. One for you, one for me."
Makerofthingsmasherofstuff
Living forever would suck.
TongueTiedLabourerfromtheLandoftheLittlePeople
https://www.cracked.com/article_18708_5-reasons-immortality-would-be-worse-than-death.html#:~:text=Obviously%20when%20we%20talk%20about,for%20the%20rest%20of%20time.
ColdestOne
.
BisAndThighHighs
My 3 wishes: 1st: Invulnerable immortality, remain in perfect health forever and can survive anything unharmed, 2nd: Ability to shapeshift in to any form and use it's functions, anything held in one form is kept in that form when returning, 3rd: Ability to grant and remove the previous powers from myself and others at will, grant is instant, removal takes 5 minutes concentration, this is not granted by making the wisher a genie or other ability granting entity themselves.
Filolial
Shapeshifting is honestly a no brainer for me, you can have eternal youth, shapeshift away small imperfections, disease or broken bones but are not locked to it, you can live as an old person... or heck an house fly. Become an old ladies cat! This together with invulnerability means nobody can shoot, stab, squash or kill you. When you want, just shapeshift into an form that is dieing and pass away.
MalkilTheDarkFire
So ended Kars, last and greatest of the Pillar Men. His body turned hard as rock, and he floated through space for the rest of time, never to return. He wished for death, but there was nothing out there to kill him. The spark of thought within him went dim... and then silent.
PandarenThiccness
MrSlater
ゴゴゴゴゴゴ
youcancallmesusanifitmakesyouhappy
Immortality and invulnerability that i can change “at will”
joinha
I'm pretty sure that would count as two wishes...
SacrificialClam
Just don't lose the remote!
donkeymoney
I would make it like a complicated spell. You may have a moment where you want to know what it feels like to fall off a cliff and *POOF*
errantcompass
https://www.badspacecomics.com/post/deathless
FiftyShadesOfCauliflower
Simple. "I want to live until there are less than 2 billion humans left". Although I'd probably manage to accidentally lock myself in a tomb or something. Or spend 2 million years as a disfigured blob of metastasizing cancers with just enough remaining sentience to feel insufferable pain.
myotheralt
What if there was a population collapse, but then a resurgence? Would you come back undead?
AxisOfIndifference
I have no mouth, and I must scream.
donkeymoney
Or nuclear war brings that time sooner than you think
Anonymouse64
Or the human population drops below that number before you would have died normally.
thoushaltnotpass
imagine being that guy who got locked upside down in that cave
ilovedogknots
Drops dead immediately because there are at least two million humans currently
M34665
genie summons a meteor that will wipe out all but 1.9 billion people
VodkaReindeer
I don't think you thought that through
NomDeImguerre
Yeah, don't want to end up as Elon Musk in Horizon Forbidden West.
LupusLilium
I loved hearing about that detail. It'll be a while until I get a chance to play HFW, but I was thankful enough to spoil myself on that detail. All of the shit he was responsible for and then proceeded to try to wipe that knowledge from ever existing, then tried to become some shitty immortal to lord over the remnants of a society he destroyed. But he fucked up, and became -that-. You don't even physically see him from what I hear, and he meets the most hilarious end.
synthetichug
Is...is that a reference to from the new world anime
FiftyShadesOfCauliflower
Nah. I haven't seen an anime since Death Note.
RedJacketHero
Why not just "I wish I could only age or die if I wanted to"?
VodkaReindeer
I'd be dead the first time I got manflu
SteepedGardenMrsChen
Why would you want that though? Assuming you lived normally (not trapped, same age as you are now, etc) do you actually want to live how ever long it is to see 6 billion (give or take) people die? Like, what do you want out of life that more time will give you?
Grimmrog
Observe stuff, watch it all travel through space. Play all video games. There is so much, Life ain't boring. Theres so much to do.
AusteninAlaska
I need it for all my Skyrim playthroughs
SteepedGardenMrsChen
Well... I definitely hadn't considered that...
FiftyShadesOfCauliflower
If climate change doesn't kill us, I'd want to see as much of humanity's progress as possible. We're on the cusp of so many amazing new possibilities (VR for example) along with so many scientific discoveries. I want to keep reading, learning, and being entertained (play hyperrealistic video games, live in virtual worlds, watch 3D movies etc.) for as long as possible. And if humanity doesn't make it, I want to know how it all ends for us. Would be a shame to fall asleep before the credits roll.
FiftyShadesOfCauliflower
Of course if you're the type of person who values social connections, it would be horrible to watch all your friends and loved ones die. But I've never been the most social person and I'm long past the stage of my life where I felt I needed a tribe or a family or any kind of relationship. I'm doing quite well as a semi-hermit and it won't be that long until I can retire. I don't need other people around me to enjoy the amazing discoveries and creative output of this weird ape species.
Grimmrog
But ypu can amke new friends, having to deal with losses is part of Life. And if all humand die off, just try to raisse a new intelligent race, one that probably does it better
CandidGamera
There's more media content I'd want to consume than I could in one lifetime. I doubt I'll live long enough to finish my video game backlog as it is.
Snooj
This was an Isaac Asimov story. Can't remember which one.
joinha
Bicentenial man, maybe?
philogogus
Are you thinking of the Last Question?
joinha
LET THERE BE LIGHT !
Snooj
Perhaps. It's too early to do any real thinking today.
Bugdaze
I wish for a swift and painless death at the appropriate time. There is no greater wish than this.
newsguycraigevans
So you've never tried cheesecake?
TalkingSnake
Ain't no time like the present!
moolapie
At the appropriate time? Gotcha! *Genie kills you instantly*
GeneralWho
Blethigg
Eternal youth for wish 1.
A fully functioning Tardis for wish 2.
The knowledge to operate it for wish 3.
No being left stranded in an heat-death universe, just keep popping back and forward, exploring galaxy after galaxy
Sk3tz0
The genie grants you your Tardis and the knowledge of how to operate it, but turns you into a toddler unable to reach said controls
Blethigg
I did say Youth, not childhood, but knowing how sneaky djinne can be, and in light of your advice, I modify wish 1 to be eternal life in the condition and appearance I had at age 30.
Blethigg
And I modify wish 3 to be the ability to operate it, no chopping my arms off or anything
QWTFODDBALL
Bro squandered his immortality. Maybe don’t stand in the same spot for a billion years
DALLASLAVOWNER
on the flip side it did allow him to preserve his clothes and shoes for a hell of a long time...personally i cant get my shoes to last more than one year
crypticorb
Might not have had the choice. Permanent stasis is a form of immortality.
TongueTiedLabourerfromtheLandoftheLittlePeople
Don't knock it till you've tried it.
WorkerLurker
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=B36DIFbfg5I
strawberrycocoa
Monkeys Paw: he’s not immortal, the genie just trapped him inside a time stasis field. All he can do is watch the world wither away
frenofafren
Maybe change your clothes or your hair...
zerogiven
Apparently he didn't. If the guy is floating in space one billion years from now, then it's because he went there himself; the Earth will still be a perfectly solid place to stand at that point. (We've got around five billion years until the Sun enters its red giant phase and swallows the inner planets.)
Fentex
It's about two billion until Sol grows to erncompass Earth - it has longer to live than the time it eats us.
Fentex
Also Andromeda will collide with the Milky Way in one billion years - which might have no effect on Sol and it's planets, or not.
zerogiven
Andromeda merging with the Milky Way is unlikely to affect the Sol system directly -- galaxies, except at their cores, contain absurd amounts of empty space between stars -- but it WILL be a spectacular view as the galaxies first approach each other. It's worth hoping that sapient life survives and thrives, simply so there will be someone to appreciate the sight!
SpiteLip
On a long enough timeline the chances you become trapped at some point would reach 100%. Buried in an earthquake, trapped in a mine, pinned in rubble somehow and never found or covered by cement. Hell with that.
omudincada
This is mathematically incorrect. Probability distribution involved could dampen faster than the passage of time.
leepupjax
Absolutely correct. Or found out by people in power who capture you and experment on you in an attempt to achive immortality for themselves.
marthafarquar
You could just wait until it naturally erodes away and you are free again, like Marvin the Paranoid Android would say "The first ten million years were the worst, and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline."
SpiteLip
or it goes the other way and gets covered by sedimentary rock like a fossil and you just end up deeper and deeper under the new surface.
DadOnTheInternet
Repopulate the interior of the earth then… gooo people…
Hammerwell
Why does that bring back the memory of "The Wandering Eye" Jones in Gunnerkrigg Court. see https://www.gunnerkrigg.com/?p=1092 ff.
PballQhead
Then you just wait until the red giant Sun vaporizes the Earth. On a long enough timeline, you cannot be contained.
Hammerwell
It gets a bit lonely after that.
PballQhead
On a truly long enough timeline (assuming immorality makes your physical body completely immune to physical processes), you'll end up floating in a total void, a perfectly even distribution of barely-above-absolute-zero photons and nothing else. Trapped alone with your thoughts for all eternity. Of course, it'll take ~10^10^120 years to get there so your sanity will probably be long gone by then anyway…
Slickdoodle
You'd become the new nucleus for a fresh big bang or something. Galactus 2.0.
PballQhead
And AC said: "LET THERE BE LIGHT!" And there was light—
Slickdoodle
I saw a presentation of that story at the MSU planetarium about 1000 decades ago. Really intense.
ragingzealot
I'd like agelessness without immortality so that I always have the risk of dying to keep me appreciating life and so I can always check out if things get too hopeless.
DrOsmium
What I would wish for is that the only way I could age, get sick, or die is if I wanted to
Rockafella83
So you wanna be a lobster ?
Jackoftoys
How about the ability to control your age at will. Wake up and want to be 20? Done. Want to get that bank loan, fast forward. Relive childhood for a day? What ever.
CakeTastesLikePain
I will live and not age until when I choose when I want to die.
DarkBusterBaron
No see the word you're looking for is invulnerability. You can be immortal without being invulnerable and vice versa. Or you can be both.
sora3087
agelessness until I have accomplished everything I want to
demianstine
Immortality with prefect adaptation. To exist without the ability to suffer for long.
kamenhokage
I would wish for eternal health with an off switch. Can be young and immortal with full on cancer, but at this point this is getter DnD Rules Lawyering and having a list of wishes to make in case of Genies and/or Dragon Balls. Ironically I would probably wish for the Infinity Gauntlet.
Kamchatkah
Can we get agelessness with a massively increased risk of dying? I'm kinda done here
nemesisx00
That is immortality. Immortality and invulnerability are two different things.
IAmTheBadW01f
I believe there's an old SMBC on that topic... If nobody dies of disease and old age, then deaths will be much more likely to be horrifically violent
ThePunishersVengefulBrother
Really, snails are your biggest threat
ragingzealot
Kamchatkah
As always.
SoDark
now i imagine if some pharmaceutical corp hears about you, abducts you and experiments on you to develop anti aging products.
LupusLilium
Still waiting for OG2.
Beelsebooob
GRANTED
Grimmrog
Eternal health would be the better wish as every crushing or accident would not have health consequences.
Caboune
Just ask for a fix amount of immortal. Like that you can't die 10 minutes later for something stupid, and if later on you regret immortality, you know your time will come eventually.
Zincee
Immortality with an off switch would be my go-to. All the perks of being unkillable with a dedicated "I'm out" method. Would also allow me to enact the fantasy trope of being the evil, Immortal overlord that can only be killed by some random Mcguffin for when I inevitably go mad with power.
Rogahar
Same. I could potentially even go to the lengths the dude in the comic did for a while, just vibe out in the cosmos, maybe check out some other planets or even galaxies. Out there in the universe there has to be at least one with some form of life on it - even if it's just the proverbial primordial soup, I can wait til it becomes able to hold a conversation lol.
M34665
better hide that tungsten ball well
ArchMagos
I'd make sure the walls of the ball were thick enough that the total density was higher than cold lava and drop it into an active lava lake.
jimicus
You definitely want to stop ageing at some point or are some point you’ll be pissing into incontinence pants forever and have long forgotten the fact that there is a way out.
DarthVaderDidNothingWrong
A vampire. You wanna be a vampire
OnlyOneArman
Sounds more like a lich to me
PoniesForDays
Too obvious and easy, would not live past a decade. Unless the stake and/or Sunlight has to be something special, for example Stake made out the oldest tree in the neighboring land. Or the Sun has to be the midnight sun of the northern hemisphere during the summer months.
mrose50
Have we tried either on Trump yet? I'm feeling really positive about the stake thing.
vegivamp
His own stake business went bankrupt, I understand.
lorilith
As global warming changes weather patterns, "You wanted to go to Disney in April?...let me check the [ancient] calendar....does April count as summer..... how about November? I can do November"
6313326
tbf, April is 100% summer in Florida. June-August are also summer. "Special summer". Like "special hell" in Firefly.
mak10z
Agelessness with a perfect error correcting healing factor. it doesnt have to be a faster than normal healing factor.. just one that will fix any damage I take back to perfect working order, and will take care of any genetic or mental aberrations that may pop up from such an extended life. Dont want to get to 300 years old and be some kind of Feral :p
CausticLemonEnema
Like the Ice King?
revolutionofevolution
Okay Dresden
admiralawesome4213
me, a 300 yo feral aberration: "psshhh. coward."
MediocreExtremist
so you really think everything already wrong with you can still be fixed?? /s
mak10z
a simulacrum can dream
TheFakeCraigFerguson
A little immortal rabies never hurt anyone.
Choiced
Tell me you just want your back to stop hurting without actually saying it...
GreenJayBird
Knees, really
mak10z
Sreq
Same, but maybe with the option to go feral for a decade or so at a time, just to reconnect with nature.
Couchwarrior1337
A little feral, as a treat.
baals
KuroFluff
Grass-fed, free range human.
xizar
Or get cancer. Virtually everything gets cancer.
shaggybeard
You can also wish to be a shark
xizar
Sharks do get cancer, though. It's just that their cancer also gets cancer, which cancels it out.
mak10z
Indeed; the longer you live, the greater the chance for the big C. thats why I stipulated error correcting :) My telomeres would be immaculate and i'd be *virtually* immune to radiation
xizar
I wasn't arguing, I was adding.