unmentionablebodypiercings
149860
3728
92
... found my textbook's approach to contraception rather amusing.
May 27, 2017 11:00 PM
unmentionablebodypiercings
149860
3728
92
... found my textbook's approach to contraception rather amusing.
whyWontKeiraKnightleyReturnMyPhoneCalls
"It's not very romantic." Neither is jerkin off but those are your options right now...
thatsmyidentifier
no party hat, no party. That's my rule.
donvale
Red Flags indicating you are with the wrong partner: Sentences from the left column! Get the fuck outta there!
Aprilmadness
My ex used to whine at me that using a condom was painful
QueenofFerelden
It can be. S/he might have been allergic without realizing. But there are alternatives. Or they're just an asshole.
TravNel
Its not passive aggressive. Not everything you dont understand is passive aggressive. And thats good cuz you may not understand much.
ITalkAboutGoats
But that statement was. Also funny.
TurangaNibbler
Not passive aggressive at all. It's very straightforward and open
DuallyNotedAsshat
I just got tested! STD free!!
IPutAHexOnYou4c6f7665206d65
keep it up, man!
TooSadToCare
My response is always, "whatever you want, I'm just happy you know I'm in the room this time."
bentlightnvegas
I volunteer at the LGBTQ Center in Las Vegas. Everyone should. Sit and listen to how AIDS changed people lives. Use a condom
SwarthyBastard
They should have thrown in "No glove, no love" for kicks.
MCMords
I could have used this a few weeks ago. She said I "ruined the mood" by putting a condom on... I was weak and stupid. Never again.
pr0nty
Be strong, dude! Pausing for a condom is a lot sexier than spreading for a swab of your oozing genital sores!
GlamCocker
If it's going in the back door it's gonna wear a hat
JenniferAnuston
PREGNANCY AND DISEASE
myusernameisntfunny
When the female says no use condom. You better use condom..
blairmichod
When the female says yes use condom. You better use condom..
BiteTheHandsThatThieve
An 18 year commitment or long term disease for 10 minutes of fun? I'll take the rubber.
thefire259
10 seconds*
princessbuttsy
I think this is all pretty great! I work in sex ed and have had a lot of customers anxious about their partners not wanting to use condoms.
RoboticManiac
Customers?
princessbuttsy
I work in a sex toy store! I've done a few posts about it :D
Zaunfink
I'll never get this anti condom thing. Sure, it's not fun, but it's way better than Std and pregnancy. Idjits.
Kristinedk86
If you're married or in a committed relationship then it's not really needed.
allmostthere1234
I Dont Jab its Tit Sex?
MellowToast
Say it like this, ee-jits. Irish/English slang for idiots.
StrangeCreature1990
It's very reasonable imo. Gotta stand up for yourself
BigAZNMan
I was always confused about that joke of acting like you put on a condom and toss it away at the last second.
MarshmallowFluffernutterPie
That joke can cost you 18 years of no money.
diphenhydraminehcl50mg
Jokes on them, I already have no money
MarshmallowFluffernutterPie
Negative money then.
zerbert
Sounds good to me. That's really helpful modeling for someone who doesn't have the confidence to ask for what they want.
BiteTheHandsThatThieve
Yeah, for many this might seem stupid, but for people who aren't good at being assertive this is great.
gummyloaf
If you took one this trimester, I think you're a little late for contraceptives
CatUpVote
Not valid for imgurians. Imgurians have sex all the day with lots of hot girls. And no condoms.
Toqueman
I mean pregnancy can be romantic. Just in certain circumstances
kenkenson
Safe sex is great sex, better wear a latex Cause you don't want that late text, that "I think I'm late" text.
ArizonaGirl
witty and profound
ceepurps
Good advice. Have a lollipop!
InternationalPhoneticAlphabet
fire, bruh
kenkenson
Tinyfeet
Guy, bring your own condoms. I knew a girl that poked holes in the condoms she kept at her place
0imhOtep0
If a guy argues against putting on a condom..kick him to the curb. I dont understand..I thought that was basic sex courtesy/standard
Comegetyoursupper
TurangaNibbler
Are you telling me this as my daughter or as my grill cook?
clashatdemonhed
Both
Frogapus
"Are you telling me that as my daughter or as my fry cook?"
THESHOUTINGTURTLE
"Um..."
amahler
My ex would use excuses like these but I never backed down. It may have been the reason it ended but it's for the better.
pr0nty
Definitely. Sounds just like the guy who also flips out and runs at the word of a late period.
amahler
he would flip out if he didn't get his way. a 34 year old man child, that one.
Splosions
High school years I was ABSOLUTELY FUCKING TERRIFIED of getting my gf pregnant. I couldn't even my friends who said they trusted pulling out
Dionysus187
Pulling out has worked great for me, I just don't pull out at the last millisecond. I pull out and still need a few minutes to finish.
suggested
It pre-cum has a (very small) chance of impregnating a woman. And diseases don't need you to cum to get transmitted. That's dangerous man
flamingflamingo
Bf and I both hate condoms. Neither of us wants to have sex if we're using one. I got an IUD instead.
Alicecold
Just remember to check for std:s every now and then. You might trust him, but better safe than sorry!
flamingflamingo
Yeah, no.
IPutAHexOnYou4c6f7665206d65
my friend's are the same,but they decided he'll get a reversible vasectomy cause neither was liking the risks with hormones and such for her
threecheersforsweetrevenge
Make sure he gets check ups. Vasectomies can reverse themselves
IPutAHexOnYou4c6f7665206d65
They do a yearly check up afaik. So far, so good.
flamingflamingo
Was she at risk for blood clots, or...?
IPutAHexOnYou4c6f7665206d65
Common friend had a lung embolism due to bc. So they decided to not risk it. He wouldn't accept it since his procedure is so simple.
flamingflamingo
Ah. Some birth controls are higher risk than others, I guess. I've been on birth control most of my adult life. I don't feel at risk at all.
IPutAHexOnYou4c6f7665206d65
yeah, depends on the person's system. Plus bcp stabilizes hormones for some. Personally i'm just happy that men are stepping up finally.
mrhobbybob
Yeah remember when she says you dont need a rubber, you do
tazpa
And when she says that you need one, you don't?
futureBody
mentallychallengeaccepted
DON'T BE SILLY; WRAP YOUR WILLY
ninelivesnosoul
unless its a serious relationship in which you should have some trust in your partner
BeatYaToIt
Had a one night stand a few years back, didn't use a condom and never got her number. I forgot her name but it's weird to think that (1/2)
BeatYaToIt
(2/2) I could have a baby running around somewhere, and she was just never able to get into contact with me
retgarr
When she says I don't need a rubber, she's right. I need to be somewhere else.
JamieSmyth
Am I the only one that can't feel the difference with out without a condom?
s6644
Yes.
marsgoose
Yeah don't stick your dick in crazy.
madmacknt
Nah, crazy is fun. Stick your dick in crazy, just wrap it up first and don't date it.
CallMeKatOrKitty
I mean... I agree... but like.. I got regular testing (in my ho days) and also had the implanon in my arm... And could prove both things.
CallMeKatOrKitty
But also, unless it was with someone I knew well, I still insisted they wear a condom, even if they knew about the implanon.
antogilbert
So sorry your ho days are over
michonnedisapproves
I remember asking for a rubber in an exam (British so here means eraser) and getting a slightly concerned look at first
BiteTheHandsThatThieve
I probably should have insisted when i met my gf. But we're still together and she really did have her tubes tied so it worked out.
BiteTheHandsThatThieve
But yeah i look back and think "what the fuck are you doing you idiot?!"
mrhobbybob
Mistakes were made lessons were learned :)
Butane9000
If she offers you a rubber after saying this then don't use it, use your own. Don't know what she did to it.
KittensGivePaarthurnaxGas
When she says you don't need a rubber, you really don't. What you need is to GTFO ASAP.
HolaDEA
unless it's physically impossible for her to have kids. then it can be considered.
Vsanaut
I knew a girl that told me she was infertile, (We didn't have sex) and surprise, she's pregnant now.
HolaDEA
Hence the use of the word considered ;) depends on how trustful you are feeling
holycrapitsmyles
In my experience, the conversation is usually reversed. I always had to convince the girl to let me wear a condom.
pr0nty
That's not reverse, that's exactly what their comment said.
holycrapitsmyles
I meant reverse of the op
Laimbrane
Pro Tip: secret vasectomy.
ginniper
A kid might make you feel like you have a wallet tumor, but an STI can actually give you the cancer..so yeah
mikeatike
Vasectomy does not protect you from HIV.
ducknuggetz
That's why you get HIV first! Duh!
Dekker3D
I'd just double up. Quite a few STIs can be fixed with some medicine and some time. Kids take 18 years to get rid of. Well, legally. Eh.
GholaNamedHayt
Got a daughter that way. Great kid, but not with a great mother. She lied about the pill then told me later when she was angry. Wear one!
Asciiman
Wow.... Are you my son from the future. We just found out the same.... My son is still in highschool.
OmegaKamidake
That's why lying about stuff is stupid, generally comes out eventually during arguments or non sober moments
RollTide6969
Raw dog or naw dog
borderlinetrainwreck
Insert Evil Kermit - "Fuck her anyway."
thetruejoz
Raw dog or syphilis eats your nuts dog.
VizenFatale
Hell even about four years into the relationship my live in bf wore a condom, cause we weren't ready for kids back then. Fuck responsibly.
Dekker3D
I read "fuck responsibility" at first, which is quite the opposite message. But hey, good for you!
VizenFatale
Note: times change, he's my husband now and I am very pregnant, as planned.
Trilliann42
Congratulations! Best of luck to you, husband, and baby =)
VizenFatale
Babies actually, twin girls. but thank you.
Trilliann42
Wow! I know raising one is hard enough. That is amazing.
ginniper
Unless it's bc of an allergy. In that case she should have a substitute. Or at least that's my excuse for carrying sheep intestines around.
BounderTree
I have vinyl condoms (hypoallergenic) and the packaging even says they are vegan for some reason
ShaunDreclin
Yeah if anyone claims allergy and they don't have alternative material condoms, they're bsing
cliojayne
I mean... my mom has allergies and doesn't but... she had a hysterectomy 20 yrs ago shortly after marrying my dad. Exception to the rule lol
ShaunDreclin
haha well I imagine she isnt sleeping around, so it wouldn't come up :p
cliojayne
I should say *exception that proves the rule lol
whitefijian
Just remember to take them out if the sheep first ;)
Sjp770
There goes date night
ComatoseHuman
... But I'm Welsh...
Solkanarmy
if the sheep what first?
ginniper
Of course, I cano fit a whole sheep in my purse.
luckyflavor23
Are they better?
astrangehop
Dunno, but polyisoprene is super thin and super strong. Skyn makes a good one.
ginniper
I like them when I have to use one. Me & the significant otter are both fixed but we're polyamourous so I actually carry regular & non-latex
JamesM666
"significant OTTER"? Is that a feeble joke, or poor proofreading? Or are you into bestiality too?
ginniper
It's a running gag based on a typo I made 3 years ago in my bio. I can tell the humor was lost upon you & I apologize for your mock horror.
ginniper
even though I don't have an allergy. Just in case SOMEBODY does. Better safe than chlamydia.
darkdragonempress
I might be wrong here but I think sheep skin condoms aren't good for std protection. There's other non latex options though. Skyn ones rule.
ImgurRulerOfThePlanetOmicronPersei8
One of my Ex faked taking the pill. I saw here. do what that guide said. and make sur to see themtaking the pill. some have the baby madness
flautista2013
Even if she's on the pill, wrap it anyways.
threecheersforsweetrevenge
And then there are people like me, who end up dropping their pill on the floor, frantically searching for it, and taking it once found
mandie555
That's messed up yo
JayTheUnicorn
Hah. And make sure it's the actual pill and not vit. C
dhaskjdhawyajhdbsdbgwakjhbdnmcckclkklkl
yup, a lot of women will do this to trap you, so be careful dudes.
PikkuPiko
I can't believe nobody has said "Don't stick your dick in crazy" yet...
fbutt09
I suppose child support is a way of paying the bills for some crazy chicks?!
sobeman
It's not just child support but welfare as well.
orangeisthenewbasic
HP Lovecraft's The Baby Madness
ocelot77
All that she wants, is another baby
AlaskanPipeliner1
It took this long to be rid of this song playing in my head. Well i saw the sign....
homeboyworecombatbootstothebeach
More ace of base on Imgur
TheMouseOfMadness
She's gone tomorrow, boy
Dangotang
All that she wants, is another baby, ayeay.
Crockpotseal
I always thought it was 'she's going tomorrow for it' which doesnt make sense
eponman
I always thought she said "she's done with this one". I was like, what are you doing to these babies woman!
erischilde
Apparently there s a whole Reddit thread about stealth jizzing. Taking off condoms silently; or putting holes in them. Something about a /1
erischilde
Mans natural right to cum inside women *barf* /2
Dekker3D
I think this is the craziest thing I've seen on the internet this entire hour. Damn.
WeAreJustDustInTheWind
Think outside of being white, and in America, watch travel show people are raised to have as many kids as possible
erischilde
in north america too, there are breeder cultures: mormons (16 kids and counting) or hassidic jews.. and i noticed a weird trend when i was/1
erischilde
part of the drug/rave/goth/asshole scene years ago. poor af. but some guys, basically homeless, loved to get multiple women pregnant. no /2
erischilde
follow up, no raising of the kids, no financial input, not even dating; they just wanted to spread their seed. was a bit disturbing. /3
Foopfoop
Baby madness is real. It gets super real after 30.
EllaWells
31 and still happily childfree. Maybe I'm broken.. But hey, I have money and can sleep in on weekends, so I'm okay with it.
greenwedel
If ppl lie and use someone that way, something was very wrong with them way before turning 30.
AndreaLF
See them take it the same time every day for the last two weeks? Popping one won't do it.
GeneralBullshit
Can confirm, a crazy chick I allmost polished my rocket with, later said "I don't care who I'm getting pragnent with, I want a kid"
MedSchoolKid
You sure she's not pregnanant https://youtu.be/EShUeudtaFg
CheeseIsNaturesFudge
Ahaha thank you so much for that, funniest thing I've seen on imgur for a while and it's actually YouTube.
funkybluemonkey3
I haope I don't get pergenat.
GeneralBullshit
I was thinking abut that youtube video 105% of the time when I wrote the word. I'm still not sure if I got it correct
PirateRubberDuck
Don't trust the pill anyway. Implant, IUD or condom. The rest is just kidding your self.
TheRealPurpleDrink
iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg
haadyy
You're downvoted unfairly. Your point is valid. ;)
threecheersforsweetrevenge
I personally wouldn't trust a condom alone. I personally think a condom should be paired with some form of bc
Superfastsheep
Why not trust the pill but trust the rest?
PirateRubberDuck
Children. Also they are more effective, women can't forget to take them and they are easy to tell if they are there, which is reassuring.
threecheersforsweetrevenge
My mom got pregnant on an IUD. Not only are they not better than the pill, they can also imbed themselves into your uterus
threecheersforsweetrevenge
And even if they are better, I just personally don't want to take the risk. And they can be painful to install
haadyy
Because it is not its primary function. It was created to treat hormonal disbalnce. Birth control is a bonus...
haadyy
Also, the whole month can be forfeited, if you don't take it at the same time, drink too much, puke, be sick...
Superfastsheep
I was using the patch. It worked reliably until it tried to kill me.
MadDrDrillBit
yup, i stuck and got stuck with 1000$ a month for 21 years. you do the math boys.
Isuckatbeingagirl
21 years?
Isuckatbeingagirl
Do my parents owe me child support because they certainly did not pay my expenses after I hit 18
Llams
Yes. As long as they are full time students, they have to pay child support until they are 21.
Isuckatbeingagirl
I looked it up, not the case here, where are you?
MadDrDrillBit
Missouri is 18 unless they go to some kind of school after hs. there are rules for the kid though thay must abide
Isuckatbeingagirl
What?! My parents didn't give me shit after 18. I was a full time student
Alicecold
My dad could not pay, so the gov did instead. I had child support until I was 20 as long as I studied (all my dad got was a debt)