Describe your partner as a household item

Dec 21, 2015 5:37 PM

thisnameisclever

Views

58664

Likes

2527

Dislikes

58

Who also deals with our shit? sewage works operator

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Can confirm- am candle.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Comcast is great. Well, not their service, but the post about Comcast is great.

10 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

The fuse one was very good

10 years ago | Likes 166 Dislikes 0

I love how these are all over the place.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Blanket. He makes me feel safe and warm. I want to take him everywhere but know it's not appropriate.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I think I'm on the other end of that one. :/

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

That first one punched me in the heart so hard I don't even want to read the rest of them

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

A smoke detector. He makes me feel secure and happy most of the time, but occasionally, he starts yelling for no reason.

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

The month old corpse in the basement: Mostly just lays around, occasionally shambles into another room, nice to snuggle with on a cold day.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I need more

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

A flower. If I don't give it love and attention she'll die. And I love her ever so much

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

An almost empty ketchup bottle. 'Cause I like banging her on the kitchen table.

10 years ago | Likes 49 Dislikes 2

Nice

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And have her make fart noises?

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

A backpack. He's always got my back and has everything I'll ever need.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

A computer. Brilliantly analytical, very helpful, insanely good at math...and sometimes fails catastrophically in every way at once.

10 years ago | Likes 49 Dislikes 1

Oh man, too close to home...

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Aww, this one is cute!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

A blanket. She's always covering my ass and keeps me warm.

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I hope one day I'll be compared to a cast iron skillet...

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

A bed. Cozy, safe and warm, always there when I need him and great at making me feel relaxed.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

That first one. Fuck me, that was really sad.

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

I wanna be someone's shower...

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

No, her name is Susan and she's lazy.

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 2

A good pair of socks - cozy, goes everywhere with you, dependable. Until they decide to suddenly vanish, leaving you cold, confused and hurt

10 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

but one disappears at a time, and someone else is wearing that sock while you're looking for it. socks not in pairs stay alone

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ouch. My heart.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

He's a Bed comfortable, warm, reliable I look forward to him at the end of the day and can have good times on top of him

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

If you have a partner, appreciate them every single day. I took her for granted and her love for me died.

10 years ago | Likes 129 Dislikes 9

I didnt take her for granted and her love for me also died. Yolo rite

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Fuck, happening to me right now. Currently listening to Always by blink 182 and I feel like dying

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I chose 'Too much love will kill you' by Queen because I'm a masochist.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'm sorry to hear that. Take your lessons and go be the best for the next one.

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Happened to me. Lucky for her though my best friend didn't. Yeah, fuck you Sam.

10 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 0

She is. I'M SO SORRY IT WAS RIGHT THERE! I feel obligated to buy you a beer.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Chin up. I think you're great. Go get 'em!

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

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[deleted]

10 years ago (deleted Jun 25, 2025 8:11 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Rebecca?

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

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[deleted]

10 years ago (deleted Jun 25, 2025 8:11 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

#1 - and now he puts his mouth on her slot once a day to keep her working.

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Wow, yours only needed a blow once a day?

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Haha true :p guess it was more like once every 5 minutes

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

A last-gen console. Shit loads of investment, thought she was future proof, now she can't handle recent developments and I'm starting again

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

From scratch as if nothing happened.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

A plunger. She's always bringing up old shit

10 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 8

I must be using plungers incorrectly....

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

A condom, use once than throw away.

10 years ago | Likes 80 Dislikes 10

*then

10 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 0

Thank you.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

You throw away your condoms afters just one use? I use em 5, sometimes 10 times before it breaks and I need a new one

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

This is a poor decision, unless you're just jerkin' it into them.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

yea man, get your money's worth

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Love this gif lol

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0