TerminalDierrhea
150934
2027
57
Nov 15, 2021 2:14 PM
TerminalDierrhea
150934
2027
57
llllllllllll
"I never wanted to be a writer/actor/businessman/singer" - An article's headline about a successful writer/actor/businessman/singer.
trikks
RobJenkins
jethroismaxbaer5772
AbeFromanSausageKingOfChicago
“I did it on my own, so can you!” - white men born into upper middle class and above
SwiftyGuy
“Nothing Else Matters” - Metallica
memeofficer
" dont put your pipi into the vacuum cleaner, just to see how it feels to have your pipi sucked"... -Mom, 30 years ago
galapas
“Fat people get hungry too” -Me
GiantEnemyMudcrabz
You don't need carcinisation - Crab people
leifericson793
"Galileo" - Figaro.
TheInitiated
"I'm not a racist, but" - definitely not racists. They even said so.
AerrozeTTV
omg i say looks matter. i knew i was ugly.
TheMadOnion
"just stop being sad" -non depressed people.
BigVag
Why isn't everyone following their dreams?
TeddyMoment
I am. I just have mundane dreams. Cereal, walk my dog, work, simple lunch, work, dog walk, dinner, TV, sleep, repeat.
ProfDrDrSpiderpig
Try as I might, I'm having a hard time convincing people to dress up as a rabbit and cover themselves in jam.
Zreen
"Nothing else matters" - people who caused a hubbub about digital IP
FabulouslyTiti
GrapeHero
Twinklepot
'I hate my job' - people who actually have a job
Miller16of16
Well played!
Draigdragon
"You don't know the power of the dark side" - Sith Lords
prawnklng
‘ in the end , it doesn’t even matter’
YouWillNeverFindMe
Money matters to a point, I'd rather have land to be self sufficient but... that costs money
freckledkink
Yep.
Miller16of16
And then you have to turn enough of a profit to pay property taxes...
freckledkink
In a lot of places, if you get divorced, disabled, or are over 65, you can get out of property taxes. People don't know that, but you can.
TalkingSnake
At some point Gates said something like “if anyone I care about needs something, I can afford it” and fuck me doesn’t that sound good.
Colopty
And then he has a bit more than 137 billion dollars in surplus on top of that which is presumably just rotting away.
imostlymadethisup
I never thought Angelina Jolie was even slightly pretty
NAbsentia
Skeletor
Cluny
She does have a disturbing 'space-alien hybrid' quality.
imostlymadethisup
That about covers it. She looks like she smells of regret.
freckledkink
Lol, yeah she does. I've always thought that, too.
freckledkink
And there's only one ex who hasn't regretted her. Johnny Lee Miller. They're still friends. It makes me wonder what's wrong with him.
OhMyGodWhoTheHellCaaares
"You don't matter" - My dad
freckledkink
Sounds like my daughter's dad. He's a piece of shit. I'll be both of your moms, too, no matter how old you are. You're doing great in
freckledkink
Life, and I'm proud of you. No matter what's going on, as long as you're doing the best you feel you can do in the situation, I'm proud...
freckledkink
You don't have to have finished school, have a great job, or the best of anything. As long as you're a good person and trying your best
freckledkink
With what you've got, you're doing great. I hope you're happy or at least content.
OhMyGodWhoTheHellCaaares
First off my mom is great. Secondly my new second Imgur mom is also great apparently
ILikedTheirOldStuffBetter
"I started my own business and bought my own home by twenty-five!" - people who took a huge, interest-free loan from their wealthy parents
freckledkink
Well, my ex and I did buy a house when we were in our 20s. We got a FHA loan and it was $530 a month. Although after we divorced (I found
freckledkink
Out he was cheating on me 3 weeks after we signed for it), I couldn't afford it since I had 1/3 of the income, 3 kids, and all the bills. So
freckledkink
I missed a few payments and the mortgage went up while I was trying to get on assistance (I had to juggle which bills I could miss which
freckledkink
Month). Then I got disabled. I still have the house, but I can't sell it because I can't get what I owe on it because I've not been able to
freckledkink
Afford repairs when they were needed. There are no grants for home repairs for anyone. It suuuucks.
Falkh12
Same poeple: "I've never been handed anything on a silver platter!"
[deleted]
[deleted]
Falkh12
this exact thing
trs451
Big dicks don't matter.
ImLurkingOnImgur
Of course not. In and out makes the yards.
BenderBendingRrodriguez
She said that to you too, huh? OP's mom loves her comforting lies
AlkeneThiol
Bigger than average but not huge is basically the fav in general, but most women are fine with even below average.
ItsBobBelcher
Classic. It definitely matters, its just not the most important thing. Also easy to say when you you still have your pick of guys
AlkeneThiol
I've had women have sex with me merely because they like how my dick feels. That's nice and all, but it isn't enriching
AlkeneThiol
A woman I was super into was smoking a cigarette after I fucked her good. And she was like "the thing is. I don't need another fuck buddy.",
AlkeneThiol
I was super into her and thought I could make it more than that. But nope. That was her way of cutting me off
AlkeneThiol
The moral of the story is: being good in bed is definitely not everything.
TalkingSnake
“You just have to keep a positive attitude” - people born healthy, talking to lifelong disabled people
nijlonkai
Toxic positivity
ItsBobBelcher
This one bothers me so much
freckledkink
Oh, I know. It's hard to do. I have a very dark sense of humor that bothers people. All my doctors think I'm funny.
TalkingSnake
My last doctor didn’t.
freckledkink
I'm sorry. It took a few of mine a while to get used to my humor and realize I use it as a coping mechanism. My cardiologists were always
freckledkink
The ones who picked up on it the first time I met them. I learned how to be disabled from my dad who was in an accident that fractured the
freckledkink
Vertebrae in his neck (he wasn't paralyzed, just left with debilitating pain and disability). It helped me when I became disabled with
GrapeHero
“Money doesn’t buy happiness” - poor people (I was told that constantly as a kid)
johnson47
It can sure buy a jet ski!
tantallous
its another one of those sayings taken out of context. it was a warning against hoarding wealth. now used by those hoarding to tell you that
tantallous
you should be happy being broke
HenryLongfellowIII
It can sure rent some joy for a while.
itsahorse
Having a lot of money seems stressful. I would be happier having enough money to live and eat but still have to save up to buy stuff.
allthetimes
“Whoever said money can't solve your problems Must not have had enough money to solve 'em ” -Ariana Grande
TheRiattAct
But being poor cant buy shit....
Sometimesithinkimcanadianbutimnotsorry
It's a lot easier to cry in a mansion than it is to cry in a cardboard box. Just saying.
StephenDaniels
The best things in life are free, but the second best things are pretty nice too.
thedarktowerguy
give me a couple million and I'll get back to you.
PorneliusHubertII
Money doesn't buy happiness, it buys stability, stability allows you to pursue things that make you happy. By the transitive property,
PorneliusHubertII
Money does indeed buy happiness.
Tomadzo
Bullshit. It doesn’t buy happiness, but it takes away almost all worries about not having money
Ricobe9
Yea money matters, but only up to a certain point
LessThanLess
True. But when you have enough certain amount of money, you're starting to fear and get paranoid what if you lose it all
Tomadzo
I’m not talking about greed. I’m talking about not worrying about fuel, food, housing or emergency spending. It’s pretty freeing.
LessThanLess
I know. And i'm talking about when you have certain amount of money, enough to be called rich, you'll have different kinda worries
TheAccursedHamster
Literally all my problems and all the things making me sad could be solved with money. All of them.
OlderWiser
It's like anything else. Some people will always be happy in most circumstances, some people will never be happy in any circumstances.
Hereagain
I think everyone is unhappy if they can't afford housing. Or food. Or water.
OlderWiser
I think it goes without saying if you're essentially dying because you don't have and can't get the necessities to live you'll be unhappy.
AninOnin
Most people will be very unhappy in specific circumstances. Like poverty.
OlderWiser
The point is, can't throw a blanket over all people & say money will always buy happiness. B/c it wont. Also some are just happy people.
skylardarkfox
Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper.
skylardarkfox
Which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
Archeron
Money doesn't buy happiness. It solves some problems, but all your other problems get amplified. I'm not rich by any means, but
ParryLost
I don't buy it. It seems to me that even problems money doesn't outright solve, it would at least give you more options for solving.
Archeron
There are problems mo ey can't solve, and it's pretty clear in our society that people can out spend nearly any amount. Look at all the pro
Archeron
Athletes that are broke 2 or 3 years after they retire, and those bills don't go away just because their income dried up
Archeron
I'm fortunate to not really need to worry about paying bills. My problems are almost always social because you become "the guy with money"
Archeron
You never know if people are there for you or just what you can give them. It starts feeling very empty after awhile, and if you
Archeron
Try and talk about your issues with "friends" you often get responses about how it's not that bad because you can just buy/afford "X"
ParryLost
It sounds like you need better friends; but it's perfectly possible to have bad friends while poor, too.
TalkingSnake
“But it does solve a lot of problems”
LlamaThrusts
Which inherently bring happiness.
Bobelibob
It sure does bring a lot of extra freedom when you have more money compared to being broke AF.
Bobelibob
I went from living in a constant worry if I had enough left at the start of the month for food the rest of the month, every month... 1/2
Bobelibob
to getting a job where I'm allowed to work all the extra hours I can, while being able to eat for free at work. I feel free and happy 2/2
Colopty
At least it removes economic stressors. Whether that brings happiness is a more complex issue.
haveyouheardabouttheseinternetmemes
That doesn't bring happiness it just prevents certain causes of unhappiness. There are plenty of depressed rich people out there.
SadToSay
As a person who used to have jack and now does well enough it really eliminates some stressors/sadness. Doesn't just make you happy.
TalkingSnake
And room for idiots to fuck shit up
Nobody7713
It sure can remove a lot of sources of unhappiness
haveyouheardabouttheseinternetmemes
But definitely not ALL of them.
Nobody7713
Of course not. Rich people can still lose family members, etc. But they won't have to worry about funeral costs.
haveyouheardabouttheseinternetmemes
And they can still have fucked up childhoods, shitty parents, experience abuse, etc...
Nobody7713
Yeah, that was just an example. But each of those things can also happen to poor people, and being rich gives more tools to deal with it.
JustaSimplePlumber
“Just start a routine and stick to it!” -people without adhd
DonKeydic
You guys are starting things?
Protonel
I always laugh at fitness tips where their advice is basically have 16 free hours a day to do these simple things
haveyouheardabouttheseinternetmemes
Fair. But that's also not an excuse not to try. You can't cure adhd but you can manage it. It's just an extra challenge you have to face.
nijlonkai
It's like 30 extra challenges dude. Be real.
haveyouheardabouttheseinternetmemes
Absolutely. I've been diagnosed with it myself, although I think mine is maybe on the mild side.
nijlonkai
Solidarity!
BlueStripedTwink
"Assuming it's doesn't fit in my routine I'll have to find another date, maybe never?" - from, My Brain
JoeGrunt
Starting routines is simple. Just focus your attenti — SQUIRREL!
arkuamore
It does work though. You know, assuming you don't travel, or have friends that want to hang out at times that conflict with your routines.
HiddenCookies
You have friends?
wompwompwomp
Tell them no, tell them why. Telling people what you need helps me a lot with adhd
arkuamore
[So it doesn't really work most of the time]
arkuamore
(But I'm still trying)
MyPseudoIsAlduinSkyrimStoleItFromMe
If I could I would be the happiest man. My brain don't function that way.
GoatToaster
-people who are liers
pygmypufftrampstamp
fuck those people in particular
mcglirkymeow
Extra fuckage to them and their completed tasks and read books.
KiwiGameDev
In their defence, many of them are mentally incapable of beginning to fathom what it’s like to not be them
NayaTaylor
You don’t wake up at 4am to read an entire book every morning?!?
pygmypufftrampstamp
not since high school. And now I have kids. I can't make it through a tik tok without getting interrupted.
TheAccursedHamster
No but I do stay up till 4am to read an entire internet
EstellaOsoka
Routines, no; but checklists do help.
MyPseudoIsAlduinSkyrimStoleItFromMe
Not me, sadly I forget my checklist or lose it, or Squirrel
NotTheMamaNotTheMama
Nope
TheAccursedHamster
I fuckin wish
secretdpp
Ok, but I need to clean first. But I'm out of money for some of the supplies I need. So I cant clean, and if I cant clean theres no point in
secretdpp
Rearranging the furniture so I can start working out again, and if I cant exercise and loose weight theres no point to be social or start
secretdpp
My diet, since diet AND exercise are important and I cant just do one of them alone. And I'm a failure for this and hey look paydays come
secretdpp
And gone and I fucking forgot the hardwood cleaner again. Repeat cycle
arkuamore
Reading that made me feel like you're a sibling, but I don't have any.
JustaSimplePlumber
Get out of my head please and thank you.