JustStonks
149749
2084
26
Sep 27, 2021 6:27 AM
JustStonks
149749
2084
26
tanebot
Also our magic hat will decide whether you're a hero, a nerd, a nazi, or a stoner. Enjoy your next five years!
MstrES
Well, he has been raising Harry as a pig for slaughter. Gotta keep 'm happy and fat!
ThereAreCrocodiles
Afewflowers
The rampant favoritism of the teachers is actually just a feature of English boarding schools.
fantasticlight
Any school surely.
RanchoCucamonga
So, AliG told me that English boarding schools produce Gaylords. Is this true?
JonatasAM
At least 2 of the English made Soviet spies were. I believe they had a society.
mfcrogue
Yes
JonatasAM
someone's jealous they we're already born with a letter of acceptance.
unsolicitedadvice
'Slughorn will try to collect you,' helpfully warned the guy who's been grooming you for years to defeat his enemy.
SimSimSimsalabim
Not a celebrity, a pig that was being raised for slaughter.
IAmDrBanner
He was both.
SimSimSimsalabim
Sooo... Peter Porker kind of?
JonatasAM
Just don't think about it. The more you delve the worse it gets.
iSellTeenyTinyFrogGreenBabyCoffins
The year he gave gryffindor 10 points more than slytheryn, and redecorated the feast was just petty AF
Zaruzen
Considering every point Snape removes, it's a small comfort
TrueLegateDamar
He has to compensate for Snape taking 50 points off Gryffindor because Harry was breathing
JonatasAM
I remember now thinking there was a back in forth game in the background between teachers. Of course you'll try to give points to your house
BrownestofCoats
He was restoring the points that Harry and Co lost by helping Hagrid get rid of that dragon.
BluePaladin42
Thank you!
Mewmus
well, harry represented an asshole that bullied him for years
damogen
Do you really believe that is an acceptable excuse for a grown ass man to bully a kid?
Mewmus
acceptable? no. i'm just stating his motivations, and looking at my previous comment i sounded like i was condoning it, i wasnt
Kittynomnoms
Imagine bullying a kid because his dad was an asshole and his mom didn't let him fuck her despite what a nIcE gUy he was.
bthetrees
Yeah that’s the part that gets me. Have a grudge against James, I get it. But a child? The child of the woman you’ll ‘always’ love? YTA
DoYouWantAntsBecauseThatsHowYouGetAnts
50 points, and there weren't even lenses!
68mano
I was thinking more like, "Hiya Harry, You scar-faced four-eyed fuckin' dweeb" Like old pals will do.
Myothercarisadelorean
schmittyboss
But Ron, what if I can't get it up? I'm so nervous.
Yasumibi
I think the favoritism was just cause he planned to have harry die from the start, so he let him off easy for the few years he had
Grenateh
Except albus didn’t
pip1
I think Rowling had no plan whatsoever, besides British wizard kids go brrrrt
stratdod
Or it was a book where the main character gets favoritism because they're the main character.
kutkospare42
He needed an outsider that would die for him. That's why he let Sirius die. Cuz Sirius wasn't an outsider, he was a rebel
vicvalour
Spoiler alert
confanity
That's a bullshit reason. If you're planning on having someone murdered horribly, there are better responses than points in dumb games.
MellowMeeseeks
I think dumbledore put the harry=horcrux connection together in the 6th book
QuartzPoker
He starts putting it together in 5, I think. "In essence divided?" is what he says at his eureka moment
MellowMeeseeks
Probably then :) I haven't read in years - but I don't think he knew at the start they were gonna sacrifice Harry
TheSongofRiver
Not so much die ( I dont think he knew he was a horcruxs at the start), but take on voldemort. Cause Dumbledore had heard the prophecy and
TheSongofRiver
new Voldemort had decided that harry was the special kid ( instead of Neville), so Dumbledore decided to cut Harry a lot of slack while
TheSongofRiver
keeping a spying eye on him ( how else would he show up at the mirror when Harry was there) and get him ready for the battle ahead without
TheSongofRiver
taking away his complete childhood. And whej dumbledore figured out that harry was also a horcrux he set a lot of things and magic into
TheSongofRiver
motion to get harry on the right path and to be victorious in the end.
sadurdaynight
"Holy shit, a lot of us almost died! We should call the police!" "No, no.. we'll just award you some points. See you next year, children!"
JonatasAM
The police? Do you want to end up in Azkaban? Keep your mouth shut and your wand where they can see.
TheCouldHaveBeenKing
Is there a minimum security Wizard prison? for like tax cheats or forgers and stuff?
BluePaladin42
I love how Dumbledore gets shit for arbitrarily giving points (despite always having a reason in the books) but no memes of Snape deducting-
BluePaladin42
-huge amounts of points simply because Harry is breathing somewhere on school grounds, and it being heavily implied this is normal for him.
GraeYstaG237
snape sits in his office writing down observations on a new potion he's been working on. suddenly he looks up, stares into space, narrows >
JonatasAM
Achoo. Great, Gryffindor has given me a cold. 1 point for every time I cough.
GraeYstaG237
his eyes...fucking potter...-10 points from gryffindoor
asifwewouldbesomeonebetter
THEY'RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO GRYFFINDOR
JonatasAM
door door door.
BruceGreenIsAGod
Where was gryffindor when hogsmead fell?!
asifwewouldbesomeonebetter
JonatasAM
The ministry won't come. We are on our own.
loser9999
Or that Harry and his friends saved the school every year
[deleted]
[deleted]
AccountCreatedToUpvoteDogs
Dumbledore or Harry?
IAmDrBanner
I don't see how either Dumbledore or Harry can be a Mary Sue when they constantly fucked up and have a ton of flaws.
Pally01
It's a heartwarming tale of a trustfund kid who becomes a sports star and then a cop.
anon1869
Not really, he relies heavily on help from friends. Dumbledore often guides the way for him and he still isn't perfect always
DeadeicPrints
Not to defend the weirdest person ever, but it was the 1st thing she's written, it's not like she was a pro. It was also for kids.
lordofthedice
I'd say it's also a bit inaccurate to call Harry a 'Mary Sue' much less suggest he's the worst offender. Sure, a lot of people like him, >
lordofthedice
but that's because they either knew his parents or because he's famous. Very few people seem to genuinely know him or like him. He also >
lordofthedice
doesn't succeed immediately at everything or find everything easy. In fact, he seems very average in classes and magic. >
lordofthedice
Hermoine easily outperforming him. Indeed, Quidditch seems to be one of the few things he's naturally 'gifted' at. He's not a great >
Grenateh
I see no one itt understood or read Harry Potter
Zeterai
Have you? The main characters spend all of the early books constantly being rewarded for breaking every school rule they come across.
doesntmatter
It just struck me that what if that was the lesson all along
Armored0Titan0
What that the trust fund child is who we should be rooting for?
Zeterai
That the rules don't apply to people who have a huge amount of money in their bank account?
Mayfly10
Retconning Dumbledore to be gay was a poor choice. It made all the favouritism really creepy.
damogen
I thought it was pretty clear that he was gay when I read the books. But don’t see how that makes it creepy. Gay doesn’t mean pedophile.
Mayfly10
Of course gay doesn't mean pedophile, but Dumbledore never has a boyfriend, never expresses attraction towards men, and when it comes to 1/
Mayfly10
acting like he might be attracted to someone, his behaviour towards Harry really stands out.
damogen
No, he is just kind to him, nothing sexual or romantic about it. Slughorn on the other hand is the wizard version of Harvey Weinstein
damogen
He is old, and the love of his life turned evil. So he gave up on love and dedicated himself to his work
IAmCooCooCaChoo
Welcome to Hogwarts where the points don't matter and you children will be subjected to a psychopath on a daily basis!
confanity
"a" psychopath
SickSickIndividual
So basically Imgur...?
ImurevJourhein
Except snape was cutting points left and right for bs. Oh, and Harry faced down the guy who murdered his parents.
Tenurion
It builds character
Andrei
Points don’t matter? Welcome to Imgur!
DrowningLessons
Whose Spell Is It Anyway
Jangande
But do they have soaking?
RedLetterMediaReactionGifs
You misspelled PragerU
Urgalicity
So, just a normal school in the US?
HedonistBeard
No that's "Harry Potter and the Deathly Weapons", the brilliant fan edit where all the wands are replaced by guns.
Urgalicity
I think you are not acknowledging that op has a claim to reality also in the US. Not all of us die of guns in school.
Revadarius
He's not a psychopath. Malfoy is just a cunt.
moofv2
Sounds like America
DeliciousMeatCurtains
*and murder
Krobbt
The House Cup really isn't that important after the first movie, is it? Granted I never read the books.
JonatasAM
You made me log in. Was it even in the first? It is just given away for the saviors of the day, that happen to save ever subsequent year.
JonatasAM
I had not even realized the points kept going after the second movie until I rewatched it and noticed them. Yes we don't see who wins though
JonatasAM
I honestly I wanted to watch the quidditch matches but the camera had to focus on the mini game happening during the game.
Krobbt
Lolol honestly I don't see how the Cup matters other than world building. Quidditch was dope tho. My favorite was whenever Ron was a keeper
HedonistBeard
A psychopath? No I mean like, ONE psychopath? I think you may be counting that slightly low.
fearghul
Minimum guarantee is one per day per pupil, higher rates may be available depending on staff availability and class schedule.
Deathpunkin
Welcome to Who's House Is It Anyway! Where the Dangers are made up, and the points don't matter!
bthetrees
JonatasAM
Not conmg back. Just saying that's every movie now and nobody says a thing. Why even bother if the plot is just there as an excuse for VFX?
BallsDeepinaDragonscloaca
Whose* (possessive)
dontrike
*Wraiths, unqualified teachers, werewolves for teachers, a giant petrifying snake in the basement, child ghosts, centaurs in the woods,
Mechwarrior719
To be fair, Lupin was probably one of the more competent Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers they had.
CodeBit
Don't forget those damn moving stairs
ra1nfield
Also leaving the schools problems in the students hands, prof's who are incapable of seeing grown people bullying students.
cainofdreaming
And a tree that will fuck you up.
dontrike
and giant man eating spiders in the back yard.
comacomacomacomachameleon
unless you meant giant man-eating spiders
comacomacomacomachameleon
Hagrid doesn't eat spiders
BallsDeepinaDragonscloaca
Werewolf for a teacher would have fulfilled two of my fantasies.
Foxsayy
Meeting a werewolf and going to school?
BallsDeepinaDragonscloaca
Fucking a teacher and a Werewolf at the same time.
Kittynomnoms
Foxsayy
Bold assumption that your werewolf teacher would fuck you.
RedLetterMediaReactionGifs
Not to mention the surely countless deaths related to the physics of kids falling off of brooms moving in excess of 40 mph.
dontrike
Otherwise known as broom rugby where the points literally don't matter except the golden golfball.
Kilgrave
The films tend to leave out that scores between matches are cumulative, ie you need to play for longer to get within that sweet snitch range
InsanityKiwi
Wasn’t there an Ireland vs Bulgaria match where Ireland was smashing so hard that the opposing Seeker caught the Snitch to end the game?
MeanMisterClean
AKA the match that was written in to excuse the dumb rules
TargetedAdBot
Where do they need those points? I don't recall hearing that explanation in HP?
Equinox13
What's the point of a sports trophy? "We beat the other guys! Yeahhh!"
IllegalDuckling
I think they're completely meaningless apart from the most points winning you the House Cup at the end of a year
EaNasirIsABastard
You need these rewards to get the other reward.
JonatasAM
Oh great a fidelity system.
tanebot
The House Cup is also meaningless.
EaNasirIsABastard
The houses are also meaningless. But logically, shouldn't the house of smart people normally outcompete the others?
Lichelf
Not really, points aren't just for being smart. Logically Slytherin (and probably Hufflepuff the "mediocre" house) shouldn't ever win though
Armored0Titan0
The houses are Tracking. It’s an extremely harmful teaching method where you group students based on perceived traits.
rooik14
I mean let's be real Rowling didn't exactly know shit about treating people equally.
Equinox13
But the enslaved people like being slaves, don't you see? Everyone gets what they want. ~ * Equality! * ~
jayar1st
.
Equinox13
I just want to make 100% clear that my comment was satire and I do not think that's equality. Your dot scares me.
Mavgurian
I guess they are just in for the mud fight.
jayar1st
.
pip1
And Je- I mean goblins controle the banking industry
EaNasirIsABastard
I don't think she was saying don't fight for equality, she was saying don't decide what other people should have and then force it on them.
Lichelf
Maybe that's what she was trying to say, in the worst way imagineable. But it's not what she ended up saying.
rooik14
Then actually write about that in an intelligent way. Maybe TALK to people who have activists not from their group talk over them. 1/
rooik14
2/ I have experience with that happening in my community so it's not like she couldn't. The issue is she doesn't connect with any of those
rooik14
3/ communities. Especially by the time of writing that book. She was already vastly successful and was a white woman in Britain writing
TheFastpaws
She's a damn terf.
rooik14
Also very true.
Armored0Titan0
Okay but she was saying that about literal chattel slavery of sentient beings.
Pally01
That small subservient creatures with darker skin love serving their super-powered overlords
jharasym
The elves were definitely not happy about it, and if anything they made you feel super bad for them in the books and the movies.
ConsistentlyLateCommenter
Best Dumbledore. RIP Richard Harris
reload2456
If he was the best how come they replaced him huh? Check mate μισούντες.(I'm joking I know he died, rip Ricky) Gambon was fantastic too tho
n3ckr0mantic
It would have been interesting seeing him in the big magic duels and the more robust scenes.
Zixtank
I think Harris matched Dumbledore's look, but Gambon had his personality on point.
Onsvaltti
I will, forever, be salty because of new Dumbledore. He was so angry. Dumbledore should be calm, calculating, slightly amused. But anxious.
MajinEucalyptus
His whole demeanour was exactly how I imagined Dumbledore.
TransAtheistMinister
I must disagree but I won't downvote you over this admission because I'm a goddam adult.
TheNamiKage
I still imagine what the other films would have been like if he lived to play Dumbledore.
LiarLiarPantsUntier
Agreed. 50 points for Gryffindor!
doomsdayaddams
Richard Harris looked exactly as I had pictured Dumbledore. I give Gambon a break because that’s an impossible act to follow.
Onsvaltti
I STILL imagine him in my head when I read the books.
Aksuuuh
Does Rowling explain how he went from a fitted suits in Fantastic Beasts into robes in HP?
doesntmatter
The sixties happened. Also after a certain age you just stop giving a fuck, you just want to wear comfy clothes
mcglirkymeow
This is my age now. I mean, who do I know while walking down the street? No ones gonna go ‘Hey lady, flannel shirt over t-shirt? Omg, slob!’
doesntmatter
+1, but have you ever considered flannel shirts... over ROBE???
Arrofancy
Yeah she made a Twitter post a few years ago where she explains that in fact you the reader were gay all along.
Aksuuuh
Shit, I don't know how to break the news to my wife
Stephen9000
She already knows. We all already know, Gary.
neverborne
Looks aside, his personality was just... wrong.
IdiotPatrol
DJAPUTYURNAMEINDAGOBLTOFFIYA?!?!
neverborne
Michael Gambon, I mean. Harris was perfect.
3ternum
I never understood it. Dumbledore came off as incredibly kind in the books, but was far too rough in the movies.
Onsvaltti
He bragged that he never actually read the books ? so, pulled the role from his ass.
mirrelle
Clearly thats also where he put the goblet of fiyaaa
100KushUps
TIL there was more than one. Thanks.
jayar1st
There have been four now.
jayar1st
Why the down vote? I'm right
jayar1st
There have been four now.
jayar1st
Harris, and Gambon in the HP movies. Jude Law in Fantastic Beasts.
jayar1st
And Tony Regbo played young Albus in a couple scenes.