Another dump of my assorted memes!

It’s been a couple of weeks, but here’s some more memes from the late 2020 section of my phone storage!

I’ve been busy doing more weird things in the kitchen…and playing Pokémon Legends Arceus.

Say what you will, but I’m having fun with it.

And the weight loss journey continues. I’m down over 40lb since mid-November, now!

So yeah, I’ve been up to my now usual shenanigans in the kitchen, with mixed results.

I cooked up some pretty great protein bars for hubby’s workouts. I managed to put matcha, moringa, maca, turmeric, boswellia, (blue) spirulina, etc all into one bar, and have it NOT taste like trash!

Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for its appearance!

…They’re fugly.

Recipe needs some tweaking before I post it, but it’s definitely got a solid foundation.

I also made a chili out of emu meat, this past weekend!

Our latest order came in, and I used some of the ground, and some of the drum steaks (cut into stew cubes). It was delicious!

Good dinosaur-bird chili.

Sadly, the leg bones had sold out, by the time we ordered. I really, really want some to make broth.

And clubs.

I mean, think about how big emu leg bones would have to be.

Could really wreck some shit, with one of those.

Speaking of wrecking shit, anybody ever been to one of those anger rooms?

Apparently, you can pay people to leave you in a room with crowbars and sledgehammers and the like, and a bunch of breakable shit.

My therapist suggested it, but there’s not one nearby. D:

I do like breaking shit. Some of my fondest childhood memories are of demolition.

Couple of large remodeling projects in the family, over the years. And why pay contractors, when you have kids? 8D

“Sure, give the 7 year old a hammer and a crowbar, and have her rip out that walk-in closet. It’ll be fine!” ~My relatives

“Give the 10 year old a sledge and a chisel, and put her to work on that brick wall. It’ll be fine!” ~Also my relatives

“Storm knocked down some trees? Give the 13 year old a chainsaw. She can handle it!” ~Still my relatives

I loved that fucking chainsaw. Up until I got it stuck halfway through a tree.

Sometimes I wonder if the reason I have no luck now, is that I used my whole life’s supply up to survive the first 18 years. LOL

So anyway, I took a break in the middle of drafting this post, to go make cookies.

The power of ADHD compels me!

So they’re whole wheat, sugar free, butter free chocolate chip cookies, because HEALTHY.

They actually turned out good! Hubby and our brutally honest 8 year old crushed almost half of them, already.

Ok, I helped. A little.

My secret weapons are white whole wheat, and butter extract. That’s right—BUTTER EXTRACT IS A THING THAT EXISTS FOR SOME REASON!

And I’m glad it does, because those cookies taste like they’re made with butter. Hubby thought they had butter.

Hubby was in the shower, when taste tests started. So I went into the bathroom, opened the shower door, and stuffed a cookie in his mouth.

Is it bad that he wasn’t even that surprised?

Then again, we’ll have been married 14 years this May, so he’s had plenty of time to become accustomed to my…let’s say “quirks”.

So having the shower door open, and hearing “Try this” as a cookie’s stuffed into his mouth without warning isn’t even the weirdest thing that’s happened to him, this week.

Anyway, think I need to play around a little with my butter replacement of choice, but otherwise those cookies are good.

100% oil (avocado) was not the best replacement.

I’ve been looking online, to see what other people are using for butter alternatives in cookies.

Motherfuckin’ coconut oil, mostly!

That shit’s not healthy! It sits upon a throne of lies!

Coconut oil has more saturated fat than butter! Totally defeats the purpose of swapping them out!

Anyway, once I nail this recipe, I’ll post it.

I tell you what, though—white whole wheat flour is the best thing to happen to our dietary changes, since emu.

I could not tell those cookies where whole wheat.

I’m gonna’ try adding vital wheat gluten to my whole wheat, as well.

I bought a 4lb bag of that shit.

Also going to be trying to make a healthier cheesecake this weekend, ‘cause V-Day, and cheesecake is one of hubby’s favorites.

Pet tax: Kira teefs! Such a derp.