otisermac
107821
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Nov 22, 2023 12:30 PM
otisermac
107821
1433
17
TrilithonStone
My personal favorite was govt instructions to dig a shallow trench to lay in and cover yourself with a door from your house which turned out to be a way to get people to bury themselves to deal with all the decaying bodies in the aftermath.
xizar
Good thing he doesn't need glasses... Now there's going to be time.
skylardarkfox
"Shouldn't we all lie on the floor or put paper bags over our heads?"
"If you like."
"Will it help?"
"Not at all."
LaffertyDanie1
Shut it down open up shop
OnyxTurret
The beginning of security theater.
nspriest233
The desk also supposedly was to help rescuers find the bodies. Because in theory it would prop some rubble. So if you died they could find your remains
HuruinaInu
Republicans have cut the school budgets so much that they can only afford one desk...
MeasuredByFive
No homework tonight
HylianFox
That's "duck and cover" but you were close
Deadpool854
Deathcameawienering
Its thems that dies that be the lucky ones
M4UsedRollout
You can joke, but Duck and Cover saved Tsutomu Yamaguchi’s life at Hiroshima.
And again at Nagasaki.
wereallwronghere
Came to the comments for this
SometimesIjustsit
Duck and cover!
Foagie
I’d play the hell out of a video game that started like this.
TheMrDomino
Best I can do is Fallout 4.
badgesweedontneednostinkingbadges
Even as a kid in the 60's, I knew this was BS.
nemocares
That's the thing, it isn't. Nukes don't just annihilate an area completely and leave everything else pristine. In between there's a large region that essentially gets hit with a hurricane and severe IR burns. In that region ducking so you don't get swept off your feet or hit by flying debris, staying under your desk for protection from falling lamps or bits of ceiling, and having just about anything blocking direct line of sight between you and the fireball can make a huge difference.
badgesweedontneednostinkingbadges
And even as a 6yo kid, I knew that surviving a nuclear attack was not desirable.
revolutionofevolution
This has been over-memed to the point that people actually think this is pointless, but the blast radius doesn't just switch from annihilation to nothing. There is a *very* substantial area where secondary debris created by the pressure wave is a major hazard but not instantly deadly. Not coincidentally, there is substantial overlap between this and seeing a blast but having time to react. The Strategic Bombing Survey found that safety was often between seemingly dumb little differences.
CakeShapedPie
Much of this advise was directly related to the survivors of the nuclear bombs dropped on Japan. It was just made up
Hammerwell
If you want to play with the effects of your favorite bomb and your favourite effects and location, look here: https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/ If you want to go into the deep, Glasstone and Dolan have you covered: https://archive.org/details/GlasstoneSamuelPhilip.J.DolanTheEffectsOfNuclearWeapons1977
Tarmaccian
Exactly… “Duck and cover” has almost nothing to do with radiation or the blast wave itself… but if a nuke can throw a manhole cover into orbit, it sure as hell could launch some bricks at your school, or a tree at your house. The idea is to protect yourself from debris.
bitemark
In the Halifax explosion, lots of people were instantly blinded because they had all been watching the slow burn through windows, and had glass shards shred their eyes.
ZebAsiz
Back in the day when they made QUALITY desks! That freaking weighed a quarter ton. *Shakes fist*
Freemasonry
Just the one quality desk, based on the picture
CyborgScribe
When that meteor exploded over Russia a teacher did this thinking it was a nuke and it saved her kids from flying glass injuries. She was standing and was severely lacerated. I'm guessing blast debris protection was the intention behind this practice.
SirAroun
Y'all know they told kids to do that to protect them from falling roof and glass in the wake of the shockwave right?
astronomypictures
It made sense if you happened to be far away enough from the blast, could avoid the worst of the heat effect and shock wave, broken glass etc. Hydrogen bombs in particular have a double flash, if you get under or behind something on seeing the initial flash, theres a good chance you could avoid skin burns from the secondary fusion flash. If you were close to the blast... well then you've nothing to lose anyway...
Hyndisfox
We saw this during the Chelyabinsk meteor event. Every pane of glass in the city exploded with the shockwave, and everyone watching the event through a window got a face and eyes full of glass shards. The teachers who had their kids duck and cover protected the kids from face and eye injuries.
SofaH3ro
Yeah, it's not for people *under* the bomb. But ppl want troll. People don't think about the effects at various distances, and how wide and devastating the bombs really are.
FlashHardwood
Johnny sees the flash, but he knows what to do.
doshka
Johnny? Who's Johnny? Lemme introduce you to my boi Bert the Turtle: https://youtu.be/Lg9scNl9h4Q
doshka
Long version: https://youtu.be/IKqXu-5jw60
Akule
"Don't look at the flash, Johnny!"
chronicbionictonic
that's right: duck and cover
wadenelson
Hang on to something sturdy. Perhaps a fence.
Beleg7
Atomic Holocaust!
zutty
The desk shelters you from falling rubble when the building collapses.
IOftenDeleteCommentsCauseISuckAtTyping
💥 A T O M I C H O L O C A U S T 💥
AvsFreak
There was a turtle by the name of Burt and Burt the turtle was very alert. When danger threatened him he never got hurt. He knew just what to do!
SnoopyDancing
now do, i'm a little tea pot, please.
AvsFreak
"I'm a little teapot" won't save you from a nuclear holocaust.
SnoopyDancing
no, but it will make me smile.
AvsFreak
dannnen1
I may not have grown up in those times. But I gotta ask, does the duck and cover method actually work?
JBloodthorn
It works really well for identifying the remains with the seating chart.
gablestout
Depends. It's more to protect you if the blast partially destroys a building and it begins to collapse. Aint shit gonna protect you if you're 2 miles from ground zero from a city killer (H bomb)
nemocares
Have a look at this: https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/?&kt=5000&lat=46.4366633&lng=-109.8343085&hob_psi=20&hob_ft=10209&ff=50&psi=20,5,1&zm=10 If you're in the red you're basically gone no matter what, but outside of that curling up under your desk will help significantly.
aThingWithTheStufAndTheJunk
Yeah I've looked at this. And the maps of likely targets. I'm 100% doomed if the bombs fall.
zutty
Helps potential rescuers recover you from collapsed buildings.
LeftRightThere
KindaWeirdSometimes
AceOfShovels
"Decay exists as an extant form of life" really just means "Fungus is real and alive in the present day"
CloakedFigure
So damn good
89tulkas
Might as well die laughing
fightkostka6
commentsivehadafew
Those desks were the only thing that kept us alive during the cold war
TheWorldAccordingToAtlas
Don't underestimate the importance of the lead paint and asbestos insulation.
NotSinceTheAccidend
My dad said the point of the drill was to practice “kissing your ass goodbye”
scatmanCrothers
We had an Army recruiter come into HS class to give the tests and before we get started there is a pretty big earthquake, and when we lifted our heads from under our desks as we were programmed to dive under we noticed he was long gone. Survival tactics, later kids.
piratetex
We did these drills in Texas back in the 80's but we called them Torndo drills as that was a much greater risk.
Zaranthan
Also quite practical, if you don't have a cellar.
Gatorjon
Why? Was it warmer under there?
sunfried
Much less flying glass.
skathir
Duck and cover
Andtheworldwentwhite
My friend asked what I'd do if Russia fired nuclear bombs, I said die. Turns out there is a whole group of people unaware of the concept of mutually assured destruction.
I forgot the actual answer should be "die under a desk" if one is following the plan correctly.
revolutionofevolution
This has been over-memed to the point that people actually think this is pointless, but the blast radius doesn't just switch from annihilation to nothing. There is a *very* substantial area where secondary debris created by the pressure wave is a major hazard but not instantly deadly. Not coincidentally, there is substantial overlap between this and seeing a blast but having time to react. The Strategic Bombing Survey found that safety was often between seemingly dumb little differences.
FallingStar7669
It's also a way of managing panic; suppose there was a mistake, something akin to the 'War of the Worlds' broadcast; wires got crossed, alerts went up... nothing bad is going to happen, but people still react. Do you want mobs rampaging and looting and stampeding, and dealing with the aftermath of that when they find out it was a false alarm? Or do you want everyone to calmly - if annoyedly - file out of their shelter locations and get back to daily life?
revolutionofevolution
The War of the Worlds panic ironically wasn't actually real either
inevermadeone
People have even survived a high altitude air burst being directly underneath it.
revolutionofevolution
Those aren't really relevant to this though. High altitude is high, like 100-200 miles high. They're done almost exclusively for the EMP cone.
inevermadeone
https://youtu.be/fAHHr0HsBgI?si=bxRQeDKnAlY1POiC at 10kfeet. I remember it was at plane hight, but that's a lot lower than I had thought.
revolutionofevolution
Ah, that's an atmospheric test with a tactical yield warhead, not a high altitude test. Even the 35,000ft stuff is still technically just atmospheric IIRC. 2kt is about 10-20% of the Hiroshima/Nagasaki bombs, and only .02-.001% of the strategic weapons people worried about in the Cold War. Even in our modern reduced arsenal, yields ~300-500kt are common. (A lot of these weapons had adjustable yields, so this is about maximum estimated yield)
ProppaGanda
In my textbook they literally wrote you should lay down with your legs in the direction of the explosion.
anjeleyezjr
Get that nuclear tan on your taint!
Hammerwell
After explosion - shake your coat out downwind.
Wikipedo
They only metaphorically wrote that in mine
FutureBeachBum
I'm laying head first
eaeaeaeaea
Considering there's a considerable distance where the explosion won't kill you but you'll still get radiation burns, not unreasonable. Strategic bomber pilots used to fly with eyepatches on in case of a nuclear strike while they were on their way to deliver their own. The exposed eye would be immediately permanently blinded by light, so then they'd take off the eye patch and fly with the remaining good eye to go drop a nuke on a few millions of people.
feraldope
I do the same thing on the way to the bathroom during the night.
TheMrrigan
A number of nuclear capable aircraft also had blackout shades, basically, that pilots were to use after they dropped a nuke
ParryLost
So long, Mom, I'm off to drop the bomb, so don't wait up for meee...
DiscountElvis
In army they told us to lay towards the blast helmet first, then after the shockwave, turn around and lay down the other way, because there will be a return wave. Then get up and keep fighting until you die. They didn't exactly say that last part... but that was the idea.
CakeShapedPie
An anti tank gun crew in west Germany had a life expectancy of 3 or 4 rounds if the Soviet hordes started rolling
Malcondrion
Also any little bit of earth you can put between you and the explosion is critically important. Even a curb line can cause the blast wave to go over the top of you. Lie down with your arms under you as close to the curb as possible. Preferably though find a basement or culvert.
WrongUn
If I'm close enough to be in a blast I want to be vaporised. Fuck the fallout from that shit (pun intended)
nemocares
Bad news, the near-instant-vaporisation zone is a very small percentage of the total area the bomb fucks up, there may not even be one at all at ground level.
[deleted]
[deleted]
Seanspeed
Not that I'd really want to live in a post-nuclear war world and society anyways. I am certainly not cut out for that shit.
Seanspeed
And the fallout really isn't *the* horrible part of nuclear weapons, either. Having your skin melted off you, being buried in rubble, rampant fires and firestorms, pierced with glass shards all over, and just the general idea that no medical care of any kind will likely be available to you if you get ANY kind of major injury at all. Your only hope is to be far enough away to get minimal impact from these things, which means you'll likely escape the worst of the fallout, too.
Seanspeed
Not that I'd want to really live in a post-nuclear war society in any case. If I survived mostly intact, I'd still probably looking for the easiest 'way out' I could.
XEndeadX
I've always heard the opposite. Head towards the explosion, make it over quicker.
fastjeff
I been doing pretty good with my lifetime plan of not exploding.
TheAnswerWasAlwaysMoreLube
How bad can death by radiation really be?
NotusPanda
Movie "Threads" comes to mind (:
smegheadenergy
Should I clench my anus to prevent radiation from entering my rectum?
UnspokenX
don't bother, your nuts will be cooked to a well-done crisp
smegheadenergy
I don’t want kids so that’s a win I guess?
schrodingerscatfood
Supposedly let the rest of your body take radiation impact and protect the brain as much as possible.
zubax
"Grab that head. Thank God! only the rest of his body took the impact."
ProppaGanda
Assuming a low yield atomic bomb, you would need to be at least 2 km away to not get killed by heat/wind blast. If you're 2 m tall you add to that distance whooping 0.1%. it's about as good of an advice as "just try to outrun it"
nemocares
It isn't about being further away, it's about not being swept off you feet by the hurricane winds, and not being as big of a target for flying debris, IR and ionizing radiation (all of which basically work on an "amount of fuck you per square meter of area facing the blast" principle). Then point your head away from the direction the shrapnel comes from since that bit's likely to be kinda important to you.
applesforjuice
Really depends on what's between you and the blast. 2km with a bunch of buildings between you and the blast or 2km in an open field? Why are you getting blown up in an open field?
Remmon1
There's a surprisingly large amount of nuclear weapons pointed at relatively open fields. They're called airfields and missile silo complexes.
applesforjuice
The #1 targeted city in the US is Colorado Springs, because of NORAD. The silos are in open fields but they are not targets, that's just laughable. A nuclear attack wouldn't be against other missiles, there are submarines and silos and there's no way you'd hit them before they were launched in retaliation. Yes there are nuclear weapons in open fields but saying they are targets is dead fucking wrong
FlashHardwood
I think it's "if you're in the survivable area, this protects your head" also having a plan makes people feel better
autodidacticcortex
Ya this is a weird one. Being able to act with agency in the face of an unavoidable crisis is invaluable but somehow I doubt that was the intended lesson. Maybe the government was looking at this from a population-level perspective? “If we tell them to do this one thing, survival rates might increase by .01%”
FlashHardwood
I wouldn't discount the "just say something that seems like leadership" angle.
JaceTiger
It's actually to reduce surface area so you're less likely to get flung, plus your legs will better absorb/deflect the shockwave than your head. For better results, cover your ears, close your eyes, and open your mouth.
HelloThereGeneralKenobee
Also so that the shockwave moves up from the bottom of your lungs, pushing air out rather than trapping the air and causing spall in your lungs tissues
OnoMichiosCharmingHassakuFace
I'm not falling for that again.
ICommentToMakePeopleSmile
AllMaktAtTengilVarBefriare
What if we leave the room first this time?
Gra55hopper
In case of nuclear explosion get in my van where there’s candy and puppies
Caboune
But later he realized that the lucky ones were those who died on the initial impact.
SneakyGaryTheSerialHorseDrowner
I'm statistically almost certainly gonna be at ground fucking zero when things go south, suck it survivor losers! Note: this comment may age poorly if the "almost" comes into play.
BobbyVegana
but we are the good guys who are carrying the fire.
JonWallace1985
If “The Day After” is anything to go by… yeah. Probably rather be vaporized instantly.
isthisusernametakenquestionmark
Turning into shiny glass.
vanderzee
"the living will envy the dead,"
paintingagency
That was a guy who understood the magnitude of the destruction.
vanderzee
very much so
Fruc
Pardon my “awkthually,” but there’s no impact. To maximize destruction, the nuke detonates high above the ground.
vikinick
Yeah if you don't end up with burns you're probably fine. Might have an increased chance of cancers in the future but nuclear bombs have surprisingly little amount of radioactive material.
CrimeBrulee
I'm going to be very, very angry if I don't get vaporized.
minipancho94
as long as im not in the painful slow but sure death due to radiation poisoning zone, im good either way. my stubborn ass wouldn't mind giving surviving/rebuilding a shot, but instant vaporization is still probably preferable.
LooseyGooseyBrett
Mmmm, vaportini
DukePhelan
Ha, sucks to be you! I live across the river from DC there is no way in hell I survive even without the multiple impacts the city would receive!
Leithoa
Yeah, I don't want to starve to death like everyone else.
ShamelessSeamus
He would be lucky. It'll be radiation poisoning for him. He's gonna die in agony.
Bystandr
The recent chernobyl miniseries had a great depiction of what that was like.
AceOfShovels
From what I've heard, wherever you're hit you basically just necrotize. Not immediately, but at the standard speed a dead body would, because while the radiation doesn't necessarily kill your cells it definitely sterilizes them and prevents their reproduction. The poisoning is from your system's cleanup mechanisms being hella overloaded, and of course it hurts a lot to be partially composed of rotting flesh.
SuperIncoherentRantingMan
On the upside, you can be as angry as you want as a mutant and no one faults you for it.
PosthumousExile
I just don't want to be in horrible pain like so much that I can't kill myself
VanessaBludgeons
Listen smoothskin, we don't need ya virtue signaling on our behalf. Wanna buy some Jet?
mrose50
Positively steaming.
0570
Absolutely radiating with anger
Kingstonboy
A faint aura...
CanadianFurr
A healthy glow...
otisermac
factually true
IUpvoteEveryNicholasCageGIF
But... Hear me out, maybe the people who survived the radiation became Immortal Hulks, gain super strength and immortality, then they'll fight other hulks for all eternity, constantly dying and living again only to fight again over and over again, know what you're right.
notanotheruselessusername
But you're still alone. Lol
Whyyeah
So a super mutant?
CrimeBrulee
That doesn't sound fun at all
ViscousCousCous
(squints) well, which is it? immortality or lots of dying?
Rpgjgb
....or he gets to pilot one of these beasts! Which is also probably worse than just dying in the impact
SirBonSama
What do you mean I only get to shack up with two hot babes? That does it! I'm destroying the world in my giant mecha!