largefarva99
148442
4860
130
Feb 16, 2020 5:47 PM
largefarva99
148442
4860
130
trikks
Until I got married I didn't know there was some firewood that existed purely for decorative purposes. I learned the hard way.
iwouldeatthat
just bring the washing in it cannot be done correctly
funeralpyre
Load the dishwasher wrong.
bakminn360
What kind of women did you poor saps marry?
jegustaeau
What kind of men did those poor bitches marry?
skribbly
R/boomerhumor
tweakbz
Correction: Just do anything wrong. Anything at all.
Morgoroth37
I legit loaded the washing machine wrong tonight.
raabot0
Just leave the toilet seat up
TheOneWhoCalls
Put her athletic leggings in the dryer then you’ll have a greaaat time
purdhapley
You’re paying for it one way or another. At least the dominatrix goes home afterwards.
lordfancypantz
So does your wife. The problem is that you live there also
purdhapley
I’m fairly certain that was implied, but you are correct.
GrumpyOldMillennial
Forget folding the towels wrong, just use the guest towels! Round 1: Fight!
UncleScarwasright
you really want trouble? Touch the fabric scissors.
spacestationnumberfive
Oh shit. U done fucked up now!
Leithoa
Fold towels in thirds long ways, then thirds the new longways. Takes 15s once you get it down
kalkail
joebellson
Don’t even have to get married.....
Rkfinecake
Or say that one wrong thing three weeks ago and wait for it to be brought up again.
Bloodsense
Put her bras in the dryer.
kt1982mt
Grandolddrummer
*Dominatrices
onecowboytoo
do· mi· na· trix | \ ˌdä-mi-ˈnā-triks \ plural dominatrices\ ˌdä- mi- ˈnā- trə- sēz , - nə- ˈtrī- sēz \ also dominatrixes
BozoThePie
came here to make this comment
AlexSkullUterna
"Dominatrixes" is commonly accepted if not in The Oxford Dictionary.
Weronoop
I lol:ed and showed my wife. She lol:ed and called me an a**e. Wish I could upvote more than once.
Cheomesh
An adze?
Justwarlockthings
Arse
carrotsonfire
Yeah, but I don't get pegged for folding the towels wrong.
toobiwanyoulisten
Surely you only get pegged when you request it and she consents?
middleburgh
So true...
Lezio
Leave them on the bed, wet.
MrWizzzard
Works for towels and significant others.
knottyboy26
Dominatrix sounds like a character from Asterix & Obelix
stiklikegiant
Learn to do it right and she won't yell at you.
Rapturesfall
Seems like that is a reasonable solution, but apparently it's just easier to say your wife is abusive
Omni21
As a wife, this is why I do all the traditional housework whilst my husband does the construction/car stuff. Works for us!
[deleted]
[deleted]
Cheomesh
As a desk worker, that shit is draining in its own right.
[deleted]
[deleted]
Cheomesh
Hm.
PrincessWasabi
He might be actually burnt out so be careful, but do make him aware of how you are feeling because repressed emotions can unleash suddenly
HeraldofOmega
suddenly and explosively
lloyd2287
Hang her clothes in the closet in the wrong...
factcheckmate
She hangs her own at least, but she fussed at folding her shirts wrong once. That noise stopped after I suggested her do her own laundry.
flanderspigeonmurderer
My husband hangs coat hangers backwards ;_;
NotTheMamaNotTheMama
People make me sick
Taxicat
This is a legit pet peeve for me, but it has more to do with having ADHD and anxiety than being female. I such at internal 1/
Taxicat
organization so I rely heavily on keeping everything organized externally and if anything moves from that prescribed pattern 2/
Taxicat
then it might as well no longer exist because it could be right in front of my eyes and my brain will just slide right past it. 3/
Yellowdart49
Is that Hilary Duff? When did she play a dominatrix?
AnythingMuchShorter
This is actually her dominatrix sister, Peggy.
ChernoGamma
and there's my fetish
NaughtButOne
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERLCGuc_2Q8
Yellowdart49
Well, ok then
Cheomesh
...oof.
Escapist83
That looks awful.
isawjohncarpenterliveindublin
i'm almost certain that was greenlit after someone said "Hilary Duff dominatrix", they just didn't figure the rest out yet
SamanosukeOnimusha
Marriage is way more expensive
kemsat
Also comes with kids most of the time
Draco877
Which increases the costs.
OptimisticSchrodinger
Why are divorces so expensive? Because they’re worth it.
Braytac
Blawblawblaw7
This is soooo true, bought her 2 beers, and paid 40 k
xIntrusionx
Jack Reacher. Solid movies.
10tacles
And have no safeword
WhoDoesntLoveWaffles
Well there is one. But using it will cost you money nonetheless. Especially if you have children.
WeFoundSomethingBeneathTheIce
It's 3 words: "We want prenup."
Mithi
Isn't "divorce lawyer" the default? Hella expensive, sure.
Draco877
That just changes the way the guy gets abused to someone doing it for her.
10tacles
Do you think she will stop and calm down immediately once you say those words?
WhataboutBobWiley
try telling her to calm down & see the effects
Mithi
The exact opposite at that moment, but it is a kinda slow working safe work. X-D
Nunyajonesinc
I didn't know there was one right way to load a dishwasher
YukonFox
There's 3ways of doing things in life. The right way, the wrong way, and my way, which is the wrong way but faster
JPRiddles
Isn't that the Max Power way?
2fligh2high
Yes!
hapshaugnessy
I read this comment aloud to wife she says “there is”
DevilDolly
He puts the dishes in face up on top shelf sometimes, leaves chunks of food in bowls, etc. Cant tell if he's trolling me or special lol
squelcheswetly
I’m the dishwasher enforcer in our partnership (my girlfriend does it dumbly).
greenking13
Dude here, just place the plates in order of size. That's it.
Cheomesh
I just got this lecture a few moments ago :|
dghammer
Or any of the other 4000 things I did for 28 years before I met her.
StephanoB
The rules can change with the mood
GQPisadeathcult
There is not one right way...but there is shit ton of ways not to load one. Seriously, my wife can make so only 5 items fit in it.
usnerd55
There isn't. Do it exactly her way and it's still wrong!
illtakethingsthatneverhappenedfor200alex
Silly me, I didn’t realize the dishwasher wasn’t for washing dishes
m1kl0s
Men don't let wife's load the dishwasher, because only we know how to do it right. So many here need to hand over their man cards ?
RobertGrubb
Fuck.. I thought I was the only one. I have no idea what the 'right' way is.
LarfleezePlz
Or set a mouse trap
LasciviousHedgehog
Put the bowls right side up on the top shelf and it won't be a divorce, it'll be a murder
NachoPete
The glasses and mugs too.
Escapist83
Well, I mean.. if you do that it's a sudden realization that she married a retard.
RTK4740
KNOWING WHERE THE WATER SPRAYS, WHY WOULD YOU—you know what? Not my problem. Best to your wife.
gipper
Alright I will admit that it annoys me when the dishwasher isn't loaded optimally; but I recognize that it's my preference 1/2
gipper
I either do it myself or I shut up about it because it's not mission critical. Never punish your spouse for pitching in. 2/2
TripleLock
Washing towels in the dishwasher saves a lot of time
MaxGuyver
I'm not even allowed to approach the dishwasher. :(
MrWizzzard
I would consider that a win.
shyasen
Did you try talking to her about it? If she says "It's fine" it's definately NOT fine.
LokiShinigami
Getting the dishwasher Loaded is easy. Jack Daniels works best.
shadowex3
Don't block water jets, only one type of metal at a time to avoid electroplating. Everything else is minutae.
notsurewhatimdoinhere
No idea about the metals... what’s supposed to happen? Is my kitchen a ticking time bomb?
shadowex3
No, but if for example you throw titanium camping utensils in with stainless still it's gonna fuck with both of them
NZSheeps
DEAR LORD! HE HASN'T BEEN SORTING HIS METAL UTENSILS!
TwoBadMiloshDead
What electroplating, you are washing the dishes not doing electrolysis. Where's the current?
shadowex3
It's not a high powered effect but the difference between the two metals in the hot and chemically harsh environment leads to problems
[deleted]
[deleted]
worldsokayestspeler
Dont marry a vindictive shrew and you wont have that problem
purgethefilthyheretics
Y’all people just don’t know how to communicate. Sad boomer level marriages tbh
Masonrig
Personally, I knew my wife hated doing the dishes, so I told her she was doing them wrong and now that's my job. 1/...
Masonrig
...So now, instead of getting yelled at, I get laid more, because she sees me doing a chore she absolutely hates doing.
Nunyajonesinc
This is called humor, to bad trolls are born without a sense of one
gakio12
You have an extra space in your comment.
purgethefilthyheretics
Nah you’re just hiding your issues behind humor
Nunyajonesinc
You must be omniscient to claim to know me from one comment on the internet
blzbob
Amateur level advice. Master level advice: do not fold the towels (just don't forget the safe word)
76Tromboners
Foliage.
GamesDeen
Novice level advice. Supreme Leader advice: tell her to do it her self.
TomatoPepper
there is not a safe word
JustLookingLurker
Let's be honest, in marriage there is no safe word.
SmallTiddyGothGremlin
My safe word is pineapple juice
laton
"Yes Dear" is the safe word
RocknRollerColaWars
According to my wife I have never sneezed at the correct volume or taken the right amount of napkins
HeraldofOmega
Can't even let you sneeze in peace?
JermZzZz
Pineapple juice
ThoFransen
Fluggaenkoecchicebolsen
tjm1226
When you’re married there are no safe words
KawaNyx
"Sorry"
GripLOG
Fuck you bitch?
mozzaru
No doing them qrong is worse because then she has to unfold first
cakeworth
Pineapple. PINEAPPE! PINEAPPLE!!! Why are you still hitting me
lykwo
Never understood folding them. Toss 'em on a shelf in the closet and go do something more fun. Who cares?
BillFromAmerica
I'm sorry
derasiatevonbrd
The safeword is: I am sorry and you are right.
iliketogiggle
Why is this so hard for some people! I can say it with out even adding a “...but”.
DonnieDangles87
"Stop acting like your mother."
Tetraktys
That's some brat sub energy.
Chpgmr
the safe word is calm down
CatFeeshandDog
This comment made me snort-laugh in the lunch room.
phonecallformisterhorrible
So much expert advice in the comments
BengalProblemKing
The safe word is "acting psychotic"
Itsonporpoise
TheManWithTheSevenScars
Wife's response:
v
baronnapalm
I prefer "geardown there big rig." It implies both crazy and that the holiday weight wasn't just the holidays.
kt1982mt
craftinscrap
Omfg. savage and poetic
Darkspire
*angry jake break noises*
virtguy
Underrated comment
YouL0stTheGame
“You’re acting crazy”
Phobetor42
*like your mother
CaptainThePirate
Are those new jeans? They look smaller.
gtmiller
Depends on the phrasing, Its safer to say they looked better on her sister/friend.
fromages
"Divorce" is the safe word?
BatsArentBugs
That’ll change the energy in the room, at least.
wahtdoyouwantfromme
Nah. It's Pineapple juice
Undercovermango
Sonorum
My wife and I have after ten years realized that we are good at different things and care differently about things.
thisisanoriginalusernameithink
How many decades did it take oh wise one? Share with us your knowledge..
Sonorum
Just trying to out weight the negative here
crazymojomonkey
I've heard it takes about 9 yrs before you start to think of the other peerson as much as you think about yourself. #menditdontendit
TomatoPepper
i'm on the 9 yr... is not a thing about time,is about people.we are adapting all the time to each other, sometimes is easy, sometimes is not
elinveronicap
Understanding that you care differently about things is so important! And knowing what's important to your spouse (and yourself).
Sonorum
Example: She often comes up with creative ideas for meals and I cook them way better than she does.
FierceAndAdorable
Sounds like a marriage that will last
WhoDoesntLoveWaffles
That's a nice compromise. Well done
FirePrinceZuzu
Especially because he gets to do all the actual work hehe
WhoDoesntLoveWaffles
He seems to like it.
Sonorum
She gets to do her share, but with stuff I'm not too keen on