workoutzone
84693
3584
697
Read another funny story here: http://www.newfreepdf.com/2016/01/parents-simply-do-not-know.html
Read another funny story here: http://www.newfreepdf.com/2016/01/parents-simply-do-not-know.html
Read another funny story here: http://www.newfreepdf.com/2016/01/parents-simply-do-not-know.html
valen00
Dude wtf? <- australian just tap it out outside somewhere to go eat the fuckin cockies and flies ya pussy
cousteau
Read another funny story here
Krizastro
Read another funny story here: http://www.gofuckyourself.com
STINKPICKEL
There are like eight venomous spiders know to man, Australia has nine.
MonkeyOnATypewriter
Report it for spam..
lawrus
Fucking spam
Krizastro
Read another funny story here: http://www.gofuckyourself.com
derpcommander
Are the internet points worth it? Just stamp on the cunt a few times and run the fucker through the wash machine like everyone else, yo.
Biddybop
Glad I went to Australia before I went on the internet.
LadyWidebottom
I haven't seen a redback in years. In my old house in Tassie, we had to worry about house scorpions instead.
MrRobQ
That could of technically happened in the US.... But Black Widows around here are usually spies.
whowasthat
Down over in Oliver B.C. Canada we too have these widows of black and yes fire is correct response .
queeriocheerio
Down over in BC. So Canadian I love it
ThatDirtyOldMan
good work OP... good work.
EatDrinkFerk
Yay. Click bait.
MininMark
Kill it! Kill it with fire!!!
ChaoticEnigma1121
did
captainclutch
Where can we read another funny story?
badboy420becausebadboy69wastaken
Oh shit this is one of those spam ones with links to dubious websites edited in after it gets to the FP. Downvote everyone.
manovsteele
Ruined by clickbait
pollypocketfullofposies
Could never live in Australia. Too many murder insects/animals/probably vegetation.
laylakyn
if it makes you feel any better, thats an american spider
damelamusica
Look up gympie gympie.
CaptainKCCO42
TIL horses understand suicide
Fairbas
Don't forget about Sharks, Jellyfish, Crocs, Blue Octopuses, and worst of all Shane Warne
LadyWidebottom
What's wrong with old Warney, mate?
Fairbas
In truth not a lot but since he tortured Eng cricket for about half my life he is kind of a pantomime villain if you know what I mean
PeppersHere
@repoststatistics could you do me a favor on this one? Cant remember when ive seen it last, its been a while. Also -1 for spambot
[deleted]
[deleted]
surrealizations
Look, now with less advertising!
donkeymoney
"I'm a Black Widow, baby." -Iggy Azalea
TheLowerSlopes
I'm a black, widdle baby!
blongwell
Haha, I used to think those were the lyrics and it always made cringe.
SmellyPotatoMan
"I'm a sexy, widdle baby." -Danny Sexbang
DetectiveGaff
Downvote for spam
JimmyJK96
I would probably do the same if I found a redback in my shoe. Lets just hope it's not in my house, otherwise I would have to move again :(
SirSkellingtonBonerLord
Is that why the centre of Australia is so uninhibited? People moving outwards because of spiders,until they are forced into the ocean?
JimmyJK96
That is correct. Also the lack of water probably has something to do with it.
BaikoBits
Putting it in water with detergent seems like it would give the same end result. As a bonus, it'd probably smell better too.
testtest56778
You don't know what's in that tiny white sac.
BaikoBits
I have a good idea. I also figured the chemicals in the detergent would remedy said 'whats' in that sac. :P
testtest56778
But there would be hundreds of dead spiders in your clothes.
BaikoBits
Hmm... Good point. :/
CheezyGarlicBread
Around 100, 1/16th inches of death.
BaikoBits
All the more reason to drown/chemically kill said 1/16th inches of death. :o
YouJustGotRickRolled
Hmm. I wanna read another funny story. Does anyone have an idea where i can do that?
ItsAGameOfSchlongs
Maybe at the library?
Nemain
Parents simply do not know
ghostanom
Read another funny story here: http://www.newfreepdf.com/2016/01/parents-simply-do-not-know.html
ImNotLouisCK
Where? Can i get some sauce?
SpecialContainmentProcedures
Spam content...
FullMetalBitch
What is that about though? Does the op put that there or is it randomly generated?
SpecialContainmentProcedures
Its written in the description, OP either IS spam or is paid to post spam.
FullMetalBitch
Paid you say?
ImMrCrowbar
Well..... That escalated as fast as it should have.
StrikeFromOrbit
I beg to differ...
flassk
it even hatched into clickbait
wardenda
shoe-d have
PhilTheFluffiestDogOnTheInternet
http://betanews.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/nuclear-explosion-mushroom-cloud-300x240.jpg NOPE
FunctioningWorkaholic
Appropriately.
LarktheShark
Still not fast enough you slut.
Cabuuse
Wouldn't it be prude for not fast enough? :P
LarktheShark
Yes ahahahaha
IHadAMoustacheOnceThatWasAGoodTime
Shoelob
SheWasAShowgirl
You, sir. Take my salute. And my upvote.
sodaisdelicious
gahahahaha +1
cniblit
Took me 5 swipes before I got the reference and came back for your +1
TossMeABeer
Underrated comment of the day needs to be an award here...
Bbuckets
She's always hungry, she always needs to feeeeeeeed
KevinBhall
sheeeeeeeeee +1 man/woman
CRUSTYSMEGMA
Am I missing something here? Why does this have so many upvotes?
wefw
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shelob
CRUSTYSMEGMA
Oh, now I see why I didn't get it...
wellthisjustgotinteresting
Solelob
WorkerLurker
S-heel-ob
IHadAMoustacheOnceThatWasAGoodTime
Well, yes, technically, that too.
wellthisjustgotinteresting
Heellob?
IHadAMoustacheOnceThatWasAGoodTime
Damnit, can I say no to you?
wellthisjustgotinteresting
...Shelace? I'm not on top of my pun game today.
GODofHUNGER
Do they sell shoe plugs in Australia? Like something to fill your shoes overnight
Aelinsaar
I would just marinate them in Raid every night.
SpoilersAreAPathToTheDarkSide
No, we just burn the shoes to be sure. Another reason we wear thongs everywhere.
JasonWaterfaIIs
Seems legit... Can't say I've ever come across a spider hiding in a pair of thongs.
TheRicM
Tie them in a plastic bag?
SweepTheLegsJohnny
In the middle east I would wrap my socks over the top of my boots to be sure.
RalphysMom
Virginia has black widows. Find them all the time in summer.
ChefZack
thanks for telling me never to go to virginia
ImmortalSquid
My friends mother didn't check her shoe then went for a run, a black widow bit her. Her foot swelled so much she couldn't take off her shoe.
priceynz
Did her swollen foot crush the spider?
jaychay
The right question
priceynz
It's either that or set your shoe on fire
RedrevolverKat
Take shoes inside with you.
Ellitivity
In Australia, there are more spiders inside your house than outside it. And its the least dangerous ones are the outside spiders.
christbullet
And that protects you how? Im pretty sure spiders may find a was inside your home.
RedrevolverKat
I guess being from Australia I wouldn't know. If your house is clean there are less places for spiders to best.
SuckMyBattleship
I'm certain they can find a was anywhere, not just in your home.
ShepskyHuskherd
One time I found a was. It was underwhelming
SuckMyBattleship
Really? Every time I find a was I find them deeply saddening.
RandomlyAppointedNSAAgent
Black widows are in north america as well. Find them sometimes around my town
muttonchoppa
as well as the brown recluse
mthrndr01
They used to hang around the exterior of my home. My dad used them to terrify me for most of my childhood.
Argenteus1
That was a redback. Hence, the red back. They're closely related.
TossABabyYodaToYourWitcher
My house in NM had 8-9 in the backyard
zeusdemigod131
As well?!! Those fuckers are in North America and Australia?!
SpeakingAsTheDevilsAdvocate
That's a Redback tho. Nasty fucker https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redback_spider
VCobra
It's a red back, not a black widow.
popejubal
It's essentially the same spider. The only difference is that red backs are more unpleasant to other red backs.
Aelinsaar
...Which is saying something, since the Black Widow is not a sociable lady.
marvelboy
Next time you see her, tell Scarlett Johansson I said hello.
NinjaDoge2
She'll know what it means.
JarlUlfricStormcloak
Where do you live so that I can avoid it?
cutofyojib
They're pretty much everywhere in the US (at least)
JarlUlfricStormcloak
I am unhappy with this information. Good thing I never go outside.