MalcolmButler
420306
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FP edit: Please donate to the Boys & Girls Club of America, as they helped me when I was a child. Link here: http://www.bgca.org
TheHellbilly
Molesterol saved the city again!
ThisisntJessitsJess
I upvoted purely for the last one. +1
CakeOfRage
You had me at Molesterol.
Antropomorphia
last one - http://i1203.photobucket.com/albums/bb386/Marlinfan1995/burn_zps28a042ca.jpg
RegionalManagerMichaelScott
I'm sweating from being this close to so many burns.
DragonsinGeldern
Is there an opposite of this? Where if I'm having a shitty day, I can post a picture of myself and people will say nice things about me?
Felman
4chan is a community of people who boost those with low selfesteem, especially the /b/ community.
isthismandatory
#7 is harsh. Funny, but harsh.
MalcolmButler
Kind of the point.
Deathfrombelow
#1 is beautiful. 10/10 would be ignored by.
ThisIsTheBestUsernameEver
TBH personified yawn is really pretty
beeratius
Lots of them are, really
Fundoplication
Seems like some of these people are insecure & want affirmation that they are unattractive. It's sad, but regardless these roasts=hilarious
Alavar
Maybe some people can actually take a joke.
TsarPushka
I don't think so. On Reddit there are other subs for that like r/AmIUgly
observationalist
Omg, nothing there but teenage girls looking to be told they're pretty
AngryGraphicDesigner
Baaaaahhhhhhaaaa! Molesterol! I'm crying.
RatFromADifferentSewer
That is one FP edit I can get behind
MakeTabbouleNotWar
Is it just me or are these insults getting weak?
Whybotherbeingcreative
And if you look carefully you can also see that some are shopped to include the Roast me sign.. Apparently dickheads are faking these
StarmanUltra
Yup, the novelty is gone.
kraftmegaroni
I'm #5 and besides a few comments, they're mostly 'i bet u r slut and suk dik' comments. Disappointing roasts now.
GifMasterFleX
Laughed pretty good at molesterol
TranceMacabre
COME ON! This one's pretty!
FappedInAmerica
I also believe this one is pretty
but what do I know...
TranceMacabre
Surely she's not ugly, just not my type :)
Verelse
OK, only FP edit I have ever seen that was worthy
MalcolmButler
Thank you.
ItsSneakyAdolf
Molesterol, Damn
FlatPlutoSociety
"You look like ______ fucked ______" is the laziest comment, and it's never funny.
[deleted]
[deleted]
MalcolmButler
I agree it's lazy but when done right it mixes "you look like someone I can't put my finger on" with "you straight up ugly."
Zoronii
"You look like Freddy Krueger face-fucked a topographical map of Utah" was pretty funny :D
FlatPlutoSociety
You are 100% correct about that one.
rain67
Some of these are just kids. It's not funny.
Radenium
No one made them take a picture and then invite the insults, they did that willingly. They made their choice.
rain67
Yes, they're choice, but telling an underage kid sexually explicit things is over the line.
rain67
Sorry, dangit, I can't believe I got 'their' and 'they're' screwed up. Oops.
Radenium
You make a good point that I cannot argue.
energybeam
#4 looks like Soupy from The Wonder Years.
ForThoseWhoHaveHeart
I can kind of see it
antiflagdan
Not even a little. Dan grew a massive beard once, but that's about it.
YouCantFireMeIQuit
I feel like #7 's ridiculous hair was a missed opportunity.
Macat
Sharp objects to avoid because he's stupid, conflicted because scissors to cut that ridiculous Trump-looking shit.
MalcolmButler
... no the joke was suicide. Suicide was the angle you were looking for.
Alift
I know that guy
MalcolmButler
Oh they made fun of it. https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/comments/3iysha/shatter_my_fragile_selfesteem/
YouCantFireMeIQuit
"melted vinyl record." hahahah!
jetblacksaint
"You look like you have your hair on backwards." LOL
catsonmeth
I thought the guy was saying he should get a haircut but he might kill himself if presented with scissors
lizwah
Oh I read it as conflicted because you might kill yourself, but that may or may not be a bad thing.
Spedytor
#9 Shit is too reaaaaal
Broksen
I almost cried laughing when I saw this one because before I even read the comment I instinctually thought "oh shes pretty... ugly." lol
Felman
If that gets rejected on Tinder no wonder I never stood a chance
Phenomeno
Nah man, she cute
guichequiche
The Jared one was savage AF
TeamToaster
That was me /a/8DxQB
elgordo889
Right ? I fucking lost it
HairyHarry
Spot on though.
UnhandherDanBackslide
It was harder to swallow that one then Jared's footlong.
southboundpachyderm
Then and than*. Here you really see the difference...
gsuscryst
I...didn't get it.
Ramenth
Jared is that subway guy that lost all his weight only eating subway. Recently was caught with child pornography I believe.
gsuscryst
Thanks ^^
montorrio
That was my favorite one
PoppinLochNessHopster
#1 could be taken as a compliment, by many.
Justineer
#1 is the prettiest imo. It makes sense.
InnerMachinationsOfMyMindAreAnEnigma
I am cat, ya ya ya
Lobsterwaffle
"A cat is fine, too"
Texantioch
ohhhh boy
raidleadergutts
Lewd.
questionableanswers
"You look like the child of an attractive superstar and a delicate designed animal" Yeah, that's not a roast. That's a pickup line.
elduquedelaspasas
That FP edit is class. Donate then send OP some nudes.
MalcolmButler
Thank you, but I don't want nudes.
elduquedelaspasas
Listen here son: if they send you nudes you take them with a smile. It's a courtesy thing.
MalcolmButler
This sounds like tumblrs definition of rape.
RadioKies
Another fad that is stupid, the Molesterol one was golden though.
Wakborder517
Sometimes they're pretty funny. I'll allow it.
Radenium
Golden brown like all the deep fried foods he eats?
Imapurpletoaster
The gluten free dick girl should fuck the molesterol guy
VesselOfHate
...why? So that us ugly guys can say "there's hope!"?
cooplander
No one should fuck the molesterol guy.
SomeguyfromanotherjobsMrPurple
For some reason I think the only on fucking this poor guy to begin with is life.
THRAWN18
I don't think he is gluten free though.
Abyssion88
HA!
lqmeh
He's also probably not Non-GMO
Imghurrr
He's gluten full
CarsonAbrosimoff
I think she looks similar to one of my favorite youtubers so that is an awful image.
HotMilky
She resembles Maisie Williams
bmaher36
Who's the Youtuber?
CarsonAbrosimoff
Hayleyissoarx I think I show it's spelt
FuriousMankins
Ok, Molesterol was pretty damn funny.
idontunderstandhoweyeballswork
Well, like it says, its all meant to be jokes, don't take em seriously. Even mr. Markiplier did one, and he laughed his ass off.
IndisputableFact
As soon as I saw the guys face I was like "Naw, man, you shouldn't post your pic. That's not a good look." Molesterol made me glad he did.
MalcolmButler
Guarantee that's the first time in all of human history those words were formed in that order.
cowsandstuff
'The yellow M', anyone?
whiskeytango73
that'll be the new DC super villain
GreaterDog
Seen it at least 3 times already. Seems to be standard response to fat male roastees.
MalcolmButler
My bad - I'm not the only one posting these you know.
GreaterDog
I thought it was just people reusing the joke, but a search of /r/roastme has no mention of molesterol, lol.
MyNameisJavert
That was the same guy as the last couple of posts
ashmenon
Hey, if stand-up comedians can reuse their material, I give this guy a pass.
degenerator
Molesterol is going to be the ultimate call-back reference in about a year. BTW, has anyone taken the user name Molesterol?
BeverageGoblin
WELP
DkryptX3
It's a bird! It's a plane! No wait... it's just @Molesterol
vividmarker
Toes and thumbs up for Molesterol lol
ImThinkinTitties
Dayum.
thomasisme
Rekt
Glumerlink
I like how they didn't go for the fat joke, that would've been too easy
AmNotFaggot
Meanest one by far, but I'm sad to say that it was indeed, pretty damn funny.
LeePalmer
Gold
SupraJZA80
That's another one down, more to go!
CharmingAndSexyGentlemanStarshipCaptain
That went straight to jugular vein.
Ben78
Logged in to Reddit to upvote that one post. The guy is brutal all round! https://www.reddit.com/user/surfdiggins
tr0LLos
That was one of the best roast ever...
112864
and sad for him
Skinnyev
I stop scrolling and just laughed, hope he has a lot of aloe vera
Skluff
Taken from China, IL
askaglassofwater
Seriously, this is the only one of these 'roast me' things that has ever made me chuckle.
cocoboogs
couldn't spell arteries, but molesterol took the cake...ha
Downvotemepussy
*darn
cpstacy
that dude went IN
Fenrir1
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
FriendlyGuyInWindowlessVan
ayyy
TexanScrubLord
LMAO
GrandNagusQuark
The best roast I've see. "molesterol" - - fucking perfect
ArtSparkle
Im still cleaning up coffee i spilled on myself laughing
TheHappyHermit
I said it outloud just to hear it said outloud.
skrizzlethabanned
Gottttteeeemmmm
Brolama
Gotti
SteveBuscemiSayingHowDoYouDoFellowKids
M€M€$ /\m/\®1+3
TheDickofDestiny
DEEZ NUTS
TittySprinklesNarratedByMorganFreeman4
2016
StevieRayVaughan
HA!
GwychBrenin
GAY!
NickNo
i'm not sure why so many people are so interested in being roasted lately. if I want that, I just talk to my parents.
NickNo
At a chinese restaurant my dad leaned over to whisper "Hey, hey! The best part of you ran down your momma's leg" No eggdrop soup that night
HalfPint13
You think your parents are bad you should meet my grandma, that old lady is a stone cold bitch but it's all so true :(
dab365
Good to know other peoples parents do this too, I love getting to talk with my parents and just banter back and forth with them
DarkWingDerpy
My father was never around and my mother said I was perfect and needed to do nothing in my life until I failed HS. Fun times. :(
ZealotOfRovagug
Yeah, but my parents just say stupid, baseless horse shit that shows they don't know me. These people seem insightful.
AvengeTheCompanionCube
I got spit roasted once, it wasn't very fun.
Tekkerzz
It's fun to get roasted
blainetog
You guys should divorce your parents.
mostbeautifulthingever
I'm sure we have the same parents.
Disgracefully
I think that my parents bringing down my self confidence is to help me build an immunity. I think they are overdoing it,but what do I know
DreaminFree
This was like legit my first though.
Radenium
bandwagon jumpers.
untilitsleeps
PUH-REACH
SuaveBugger
You get spit-roasted by your parents?
Jusmar
BOOM ROASTED
degenerator
Can your parents top that "molesterol" diss? If so, you should sell tix to a roasting by your parents.
pineplapple
This is unbelievably accurate
Dutcher
I really like it that others want to be roasted. This humor is very entertaining :D
SithRuleOfTwo
Its the not so covert way of posting a selfie.
CharmingAndSexyGentlemanStarshipCaptain
Do you banter back at them?
orthedox
I'm pretty sure i just found my long lost brothers.
theresakittyoverthere
aww :(
CitizenRekt
My mum always tells me id be pretty if I wasnt so fat.
abt272
Sometimes it keeps me up at night hating myself. Mom's are evil
CitizenRekt
Ehhh, I still get regular sex, other girls are jealous of my features, I'm doing okay . . . but more okay if I wasn't fat? Damn it mum
VonRichtofenlw
SelfRoast
icallpeopleJack
Every day. Haha
professorx
are your parents my parents? are we siblings
MauSekhmet
I might be your sister too :C
Sabruka
or are we dancer?
ToriScott
One of us. One of us. One of us.
NickNo
brother!!!
skwawkward
Ahhh brother! Nooooooooo!!!
spuds31
Hjelp me
MillenialJesus
brothers!
NickNo
go away, you're adopted
pholkos
Mom didn't want him to know yet!
DragonLordG
Do you want to go bowling?
JesusCatttt
DRAKE!
lx45803
SNAAAKE!
aleister94
They're probably all secretly hoping they'll get replied with : you're perfect I can't roast you
uchronia
Lame/weak responses more or less indicate that. Female: "BET UR BAD AT SEX" ; Male: "UR DOUCHEBAG"
aleister94
Yeah mine would probably be something like : you look a gay porn star retired to be a lumberjack
xxSOONERSxx
Wishful thinking my friend.
CanadianThemedName
As a bi guy with a thing for lumberjacks...are you?
aleister94
Bi yes , lumberjack no
MalcolmButler
Well, I now know that I look like John Krasinski hate-fucked a potato. So I got that going for me.
MsKatieMarie
Everyone told me I looked like Caitlyn Jenner. It stung.
sabinazhell
which is nice.
OrangeSlice
Is your name Cody?
MalcolmButler
Not even close.
HausOfFuck
Hot.
MalcolmButler
Potatoes can be but you wouldn't want to touch them. :(
IntrepidGamer
PICS?!
[deleted]
[deleted]
MalcolmButler
Accurate.
Hamdurleigh
I have the same shirt as you!
SuccesfulFailure
You look like some one microwaved a Mr. Potato-Head and happy slapped pubes on your faces.
MalcolmButler
I'm a little worried about your enthusiasm for wanting to see that kind of love-child.
SteepedGardenMrsChen
But everybody loves John Krasinski, potatoes, and sex! Shit, they're my three favourite things
pantsforcats
Dad likes one liners. Mom prefers backhanded compliments that haunt for days...or years.
pixarpizza
Mother says I'm useless and I am a lazy ass who sits on my computer all day if she lets me. At the time, I was making jewelry...
IAMNOTYOURTIA
"your hair is so pretty colored, too bad it's a rat's nest" compliments that cut like a knife.
ILoveAnimalFacts
Ha! Mine last weekend: "I like your haircut, it's such a funny color though."
tinipple
HOW DO YOU KNOW MY PARENTS??!!
pantsforcats
We should see if we're siblings, @tinipple.
raiseyourhandifyouveeverbeenpersonallyvictimizedbyreginageorge
It's the classic Emily Gilmour style "compliment."
EmzeexD
My mums always made me laugh.. then cry. Especially ones like ohh are you not guna brush you hair yoday. After I'd spent an hour doing it..
pantsforcats
Omg this. THIS!
EmzeexD
Don't you just love mums, they have such a way with words
pantsforcats
And shattering your happiness with them.
Fotostatica
My mother was very straight forward telling me I was a failure.
pantsforcats
That was my father's hobby. "Worthless parasite!" - Dad
pantsforcats
"Oh don't listen to him, dear. You'll be able to marry a doctor or a lawyer someday if you get plastic surgery later on." - Mom
Fotostatica
:(
sparverius
Mine too!
TailBiter
Mine too. Every chance she has, she reminds me that my brother and I are disappointments and she can't move on with her life.
pantsforcats
The worst was: "You're so special, but maybe if you weren't so *gestures to me*, I could have wanted to be a mom."
pantsforcats
"I know your dad didn't want you because you weren't a boy."
digitalutopia
My mom is the reason I'm immune to most female bullshit. Every time one tries to guilt trip me, I'm like:
kapelophilus
*
BootyPaladin
I know, right? My mom has made me in the feeling of: "I don't give a shit if we don't spend time together." Go whine elsewhere.
pantsforcats
They try, but they're such freaking amateurs in comparison. Sometimes I think that if they were to meet my mom, it'd be Cersei v. Margaery
Thebuildingisonfireanditsnotmyfault
Guardiansofthegalaxywho.gif
CanuckyFriedChicken
I have three mean older sisters... my girlfriend pities me and thanks god for it because I can put up with anything now. Anything.
Zierdo
Being raised Catholic is why I'm immune to guilt. Parents stopped trying that shit years ago.
witchtrash
Wasn't raised religious at all but I swear mom breathes guilt trips instead of CO2
LinneahPotato
Keep 'em coming, captain!
MalcolmButler
As long as I remain unemployed they'll be on the horizon.
MalcolmButler
WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE UPVOTING MY PAIN
bicthief
Cause we like pain :)
Iamnotacreativeman
Roasted
Americanjedi2099
There also downvoting your face.
MalcolmButler
Also to give this reply context, you guys are bad at insulting my face but good at pressing the red arrow so I scrapped my initial FP edit.
MalcolmButler
Think it's a selfie downvote. Which is kind of annoying. If you're going to downvote, insult me goddamn it.