OopsIDwintAgain
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I’m a loner (Dottie!) but not much of a rebel. Shortness of breath, edema, a CT scan showed fluid and two likely tumors in my lungs (most likely metastasis from stage iv colon cancer - that had otherwise been wiped out since 2018!). I feel sicker day by day. But it is what it is.
I still have a bunch of tests and scans in the next week.
I’ve got a great job but I’m not close to anyone there. I’m a little worried that if I come forward with this info now, well, it just seems like a hassle.
I still need the job to pay rent and all, and I’d worry about them doing something that might screw my (estranged) family out of a fairly large work provided life insurance. (US / California rules would apply)
Other than clearing my browser history (oof, so many old computers!) has anyone ever had to deal with an employee informing them of their sell-by-date? Or should I just go ahead and die when I need to and let them deal with it then?
Or, should I leave a tantalizing trail of clues to a fabulous prize, that I never finish but it’s ok because the real prize was solving the clues?
#health #sad #dark_humor
WienerFart
Apply for FMLA if you can
Heavenissize17socks
@op, if you tell them you are terminal, they will *fire you* under orders from the higher ups and the insurance company. You live in a 'Right-To-Work' state, meaning -they don't even have to give you a reason. Sure, your estate can sue, but the company will gamble on the unknown expense of legal action to make it too much trouble. Also, don't jinx yourself!
levelfivedetentionblockaa23
You owe them nothing. Keep your health information personal for as long as you are able. Best of luck to you!
zorroboracho
A) Sorry to hear that @op. I'm impressed by how level headed you are, but it does suck. B) Do whatever the hell you want. You're exempt from giving a damn about anyone else's opinion about who you tell about your condition. Spend your time in ways you feel good about.
richmondrosemead0
Your courageous humour is uplifting, no moaning and thinking of others, many more of us should be like you. My advice, tell ‘em nothing but get some legal advice as well, just in case there’s a clause in the insurance. I hope the end is as easy and comfortable as possible.
CanIGetSomeExtraSalt
dont tell them word
SergeyPrkl
So, you are american. Don't tell. If you were European, please tell, the workplaces have support programs for this kind of departure. I am in Finland. We had a worker that was distant to everybody but in general good worker and generally pleasant guy. Then he said hes got cancer that isn't curable and he will die within 2 years. He did exactly that. Our company supported him and his condition until the last day at work. He took a taxi from work to the final destination, and passed 2 weeks later.
justadude41123
Your coworkers will miss you, your bosses will replace you
nosnowyno
Sorry to hear it. My sister went through similar, even had a lung taken out but she’s still chugging along nine years later. Tell them nothing.
Thunderchunks
Do whatever will be funniest. Seriously. You've got unlimited license to goof, it's one of the few silver linings to this sort of thing.
IAlwaysUpvoteSunsets
Keep it to yourself. Especially if it means losing your life insurance. I'm sorry you have to face this, @OP. Also, +1 for the Pee Wee ref!
moisturemissile87
Look into FMLA or CFRA. A bunch of people say not to tell your employer, but these could save your job should you start missing more time at work.
Woola2018
Does your workplace have employee assistance programs? One thing to consider is going through FMLA process to protect yourself in your job. Depending on your employers attendance policies, you may put yourself in jeopardy if you are taking off days because you are Ill or getting treatment. In my company, applying for FMLA protects you when you need to take off work.
dogboybastard
It's your job. they pay you money in exchange for your labor. That's it. they're not your friends, not your family, they're not even anyone you'd keep knowing if you were to get another job. And they'd fire you in a heartbeat if they thought they could and not be sued or fined. Don't tell them anything, just make sure all your shit is in order.
DangerousToy
Hey, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry about what you’re going through.
SoftKleenex
Absolutely no need to tell them anything. Assuming all this blows past and it was not as severe as you thought your work might have other assumptions that wouldn't be in your benefit.
OregonComputerGuy
I would go with the clues, but only enough so they do not have a clue
PirateRubberDuck
Life insurance pays out on a terminal diagnosis here, and I am insured for long term sickness too. Check what insurance cover you have through work and make an informed decision once you know.
CrackWhoresAndCheese
Probably wait for the results, I don't know.
CrackWhoresAndCheese
Maybe ask a lawyer.
nosnowyno
Hypnoticcow
They will replace you in an instant when you're gone, don't let them jump the gun. I'd say being super nice would be the 2 week notice but not needed if you don't care much for them.
CarbyD
Don't tell them. It won't end well for you
ActualZedAxial
Dude, phrasing
MarkOfTheCovenant
Interesting choice of words
softsuit
It is about leverage. They want to help themselves. Right?
etoxins
andybandy
Lawyers are better than imgur users
JackalopeElope
Your job doesn't love you and doesn't deserve love. The second you tell someone, you will at best, be passed over for any training or promotions. At worse you will be fired "for cause" at their earliest convenience. Also read The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin and And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie if you haven't already.
lapus
Die on their time. Crude, but they're not willing to take care of you.
noReallyIamPrincessBob
They didn’t say work wouldn’t take care of them. It is an unknown at this point.
lapus
Are you from the US? it is a given that your employer doesn't care about you. You are replaceable.
staceyjorgenson31415
If’n ya croak on their time, what are they gonna do ??? Fire ya ?? Fuck em :)
WarlockSniper
"No dying at work, Johnson. It is against company regulations."
ElbowDeepInTheElbowDeepBandwagon
Definitely tell them, that way they can start looking for your replacement now. /s
SergeyPrkl
Really...
WhatTheFrench
I had an employee who was diagnosed with terminal cancer while she worked for me. She went on FMLA with disability pay during her treatment. She was absolutely unable to work for a long time, and I changed jobs during that time. She did come back part time for a few months with her new boss - fully remote, and not assigned any urgent work, just chill easy stuff. Then she had another round of chemo and never made it back. She passed in 2022. I know there was some paperwork hassle with the ity
savagesong
For fuck sake that’s so messed up that we as Americans still work even though we are literally dying. We can’t even enjoy the few weeks we have left without being a wage slave
WhatTheFrench
In her specific case, it was because she wanted to. No one pressured her into it, and she had no financial pressures (she had a shitload saved for a retirement she wasn’t going to need.) She had a lot of friends at work and not the best family life. Everyone at the office loved her. I agree with you in general though, it would suck to be dying and not be able to choose how you spend your remaining time.
WhatTheFrench
(whoops) disability and FMLA. She definitely went over the 12 weeks of leave covered by FMLA, but she was just on goodwill medical leave after that, no one gave a moment’s thought to letting her go. Aside from the good-human aspects of it, putting the decision in a purely jaded capitalist light — no one wants to work for the employer who fired a dying lady and screwed her out of health and disability and life insurance on her deathbed, and that’s not a reputation an employer wants. I’m not
WhatTheFrench
talking about the Walmarts and the Amazons of the world here, I’m talking about living wage reputable employers with bosses who aren’t Ebenezer Scrooge.
afambelafonte
I've worked for a few businesses that have gone out of business. Your work won't tell you when the business is dying they just quit paying you and disappear. You don't owe them more than that. You don't get paid in advance for work you might do. You get paid for work you've already done. You don't have to feel bad that you won't be there to sell them more labor in the future.
daSilverBadger
Two months after buying a house after asking our CFO if the company was doing ok, I was told on a Thursday while in a meeting with a client that the company wasn’t going to be able to make payroll.
You owe your employer nothing beyond doing the work until you can’t anymore.
And hugs to you, internet stranger.
frostyparts
You're not wrong and he shouldn't tell them.
Still, I might be wrong, but I feel like a business dying and him actually dying are two separate and not comparable issues.
darkdragonempress
A business silently dying on its employees is much harsher than an employee silently dying on a business.
whateverthevoicestellme
Very well put
wutafobbb
The only thing it may entitle you to is support from your work and flexibility when it comes to your appointments. Make sure you also CC human resources and save a paper trail that you have access to so they can't fire you.
turbovespa
transference
I mostly agree with this, but I’ll say that you owe the company as much respect as they have shown you in the past. If you have been fortunate enough to work for one of the good ones, a heads-up would be appropriate.
transference
(That said, the good ones are rare. Unless you’re absolutely certain that they won’t screw you over, look out for yourself.)
lurkervondurker
Get FMLA approval so you can take time and save your job if there are days you can’t work.
FermentTheRich3000
FMLA only keeps a similar job open while you are off work. It does not grant additional paid days off.
afambelafonte
I had considered that. Putting the prognosis in the open would give legal protection to getting fired but that legal protection is only enforceable via a lawsuit OP won't be alive to file so it's a definite loss.
twerknado
Don’t tell them anything!
ThrowAwayAcct0000
Unless you want to lose your job, TELL THEM NOTHING!
Isthe4thtimethecharm
I worked with a guy who was sick for months. He said he couldn't stand the taste of anything other than brown sugar and cinnamon pop tarts. He left work on Friday and was in the hospital by Monday. He passed a couple of weeks later. The only reason I wish he would have come forward is that one of the owners of the company was dying at the same time. They could have helped each other through it. I get that he didn't want us to know because we might have treated him differently.
Venselor
Jesus Christ... Here in Europe you would never get laid off if you tell your boss you're sick
mikeatike
Yea, they will fire you and cancel your insurance. It's a fuckin sick joke that op has to work at all.
DoctorNinjah
Get a huge fuckin loan and use it for something important.
zvae
check carefully, first, the laws and regulations about unpaid debt in your jurisdiction. there are places where your debt becomes the debt of your estate and family upon death.
DoctorNinjah
Right on!
Get a lawyer from Panama to help You extract as much money as possible without breaking the law!
Sageypie
I'm currently in the same sort of boat. My arm had been acting up lately. I've lost mobility and strength in it. Went to the doctor finally and was told I had a lesion on my humerus. Hoping for the best so far, MRI and a visit with an orthopedic later this month should let me know more. Cancer runs in the family though, and that's apparently one of the causes for a lesion to show up like that. Can't let my work know anything until I have something solid though. A protection for wrongful firing.
MeowWoof
noWhiteHorseHereJustBatturuPrinsu
In the absolute majority of cases I agree with you. In some VERY niche situations it's better to let them know. Mainly if it affects your performance to the point where you'll get fired anyway and telling them might allow you to stick around in an adjusted capacity (still not ideal, but better then losing your job). But yeah, if you can still do your job don't tell them.
NLOVNI
Take plane work trips. I think that pays 3x
MisterPrimeMinister
Unless OP is a pilot.
NLOVNI
Why? Is it now compounded?
mikeatike
My grandfather was a bus driver. My family has a dark enough sense humor to laugh at the "died in his sleep, but the passengers were screaming" joke.
KellyCrazyCatLadyinTraining
You got that from the movie “Fight Club,” didn’t you…
zaqx
NLOVNI
MisterBluth
I can’t upvote this enough; tell them NOTHING. The moment that they catch wind of it, it’s blood in the water. Take care of yourself and do what you can (especially with your insurance if you have it, and use every last f***ing dime), but never alert them… I wish you the best of luck moving forward. 🍀❤️
echoawoo
Just a heads up if you have employer provided health insurance, they can see how much it's being billed to the account, and which account billed it. They can't see the codes, but suddenly seeing 100k write outs is big giveaway and how they figure out who to fire
[deleted]
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Djones06236
Grow the fuck up and read the room.
MyRespectableAlterEgo
Calling a concerned cancer patient a retard is super brave and cool
spiceass9000
Never said they were retarded. I said the question was. If you are still walking around thinking you owe your job anything especially when battling the horrible things op is going through you gotta wake up. Cause they don’t care about you and that’s been made very clearly for years through every form of communication that exists
MyRespectableAlterEgo
I work for a cancer charity and my fiancee has Stage 4 sarcoma - in our case, both of us have been taken care of by our work... maybe because we're not in the US, where a question like "will I be punished for dying" is apparently a stupid one with an obvious answer. I know exactly what OP is going through, and I also know that you're being an asshole: we all hate corporatocracy, but there's such thing as sensitivity.
spiceass9000
Well I guess I didn’t consider the fact that OP isn’t in the US. Which ya would make me a bit of an asshole. But anyone living here should know that answer
cluelesscookie
As a European: What the fuck did I just read in all these comments.
beachbum273
Lol, lmao
CuileannDhu
This breaks my heart. I can't imagine facing a serious health situation and at the same time continuing to go to work while worrying about my employer trying to fire me for being ill if they find out.
ifyoutakemeseriouslythatsonyou
Yeah, I was just about to post this and it's waaaaay too far down in the comments.
Slayage
Yeah. My thoughts were: America....
Gwenx
Yep! Same, but i also been reading these kind of things often enought to just go "Eh its America"..
My partner had a coworker who died on a holiday trip, they where all so surprised and saddened by it, the whole workplace (it was a small company) showed up at the funeral..
If you are terminally ill here in Denmark you would most likely tell your workplace, but i could understand if that was to hard and thus you'd just leave it at some point before you'd get too ill.
usernamewillnotbesavedandisalreadyinuse
KleptoKea
As a Kiwi, same. I don't know how Americans tolerate stuff like this.
WarlockSniper
Brainwashed for decades, unfortunately.
It is why they simp for the likes of Elon Musk, and Donald Trump.
SirButcher
When you hear the "Land of the free", the free in it actually means: "Free to fuck up everything and everybody as long as you get filthy rich during the process".
WhereIsMyAppleQuava
Australian here. Same thought.
titoitoi
Australian/Kiwi here, same too.
Yet last few decades been all about implementing same sort of free market fundamentalism in both countries, just bit-by-bit.
See, #policylaundering
OverthinkingThis
A lot of us don't tolerate it, and then end up unemployed and desperate for enough money to eat.
witalaska4
This is America. Where corporations will exploit you as a number, not as a human, to make profit for the company. Sad truth. This is one of many reasons why I don’t ever vote Republican.
Nibbilynobbily
America is a cruel fucking place
CoffeeMakesMeTwitchy
Capitalism doesn't give a fuck
Pusheenicorn1992
What are you talking about, America is the greatest country in the world!/s
*Someone please send an adult, I want off this ride
philmoregraves
In america if you might no longer be of use to the company (yanl bc ur dead) they will likely start outsourcing your job, or bring on a replacement, then just lay you off bc they "no longer need this many ppl in your position." Take em to court for wrongful firing and they will just keep it tied up in court till your dead. Cheaper for them overall. It's better to keep to yourself till you're dead if u wanna actually keep the shitty job
sometimesitflies
Apparently you just realized that in the USA, the government and companies don't give a fuck about their citizens and employees.
Alaaraaf
Companies don't give a fuck anywhere.
In Europe -- even in the UK even though we can be pretty backwards on this -- they're forced to reign it in a bit.
sometimesitflies
Hope it gets better with the Tories defeated this last election.
Alaaraaf
Starmer has been relentlessly bland, but he appointed the chair of the Prison Reform Trust as the prisons minister. That guy's position is that early intervention and better mental health care would mean only about a third of prisoners would NEED to be incarcerated.
He also made a fairly big-deal human right's KC the Attorney General.
Much too early to know, but they're good signs.
sometimesitflies
Do they have Corporate For-Profit prisons in the UK?
Zahnradfee
Honestly, I would not necessarily tell my employer in Europe too. Depends a lot on the specific employer, but there are definitely a lot who would take advantage of that.
Alaaraaf
While I understand that sentiment one of the guys I worked with died last year. He had cancer and died within a few weeks of the diagnosis. (Maybe he would have lived if the NHS wasn't an absolute shitshow.)
Before he died my manager went absolutely Hell for leather to get him medically retired, which meant his pension would count as fully paid to retirement age before it transferred to his widow.
Not everyone is a complete bastard.
SergeyPrkl
EU basic laws prohibits it. Plain and simple. They can't even try it. Because it is backed by states and combined EU. But majority if the workplaces have programs regarding this kind of stuff. Even the smaller ones (20-100 employees). Our company had this kind of situation. We backed him until the last day alive.
4Astaroth
I agree. At my work place we have more than 1 person who are on sick leave until 2025 now. I hope they get better. I hope OP gets better if that's an option.
Revnis
To an extent so does the US, we have protected classifications in terms of jobs (family or self). That said the paper work would need to be done to be in it and a hospital would be the place to start it. If a job improperly fires you against those ya... Plus that life insurance also could probably be used during his end of life treatments to cover things like being unemployed.
Kingdomonsterdeath
If the company fires him, he loses his insurance. Also, it sounds like he doesn't have enough time to fight a wrongful termination suit to regain it. Better he says nothing and dies at work, unfortunately. Te insurance company might just try to screw him over anyway. Sorry you are going through this OP. It's truly terrible.
Revnis
If the company fires him while he'd on flma unemployment will take care of it. Without fmla ya it's longer or w/e but with the documentation hr isn't that stupid to eat the massive fines the feds would hand down.