LongDickStyleMadaFaqa
198348
3357
139
Woop FP! - Send noodes or noodles!
Oct 16, 2017 7:35 AM
LongDickStyleMadaFaqa
198348
3357
139
Woop FP! - Send noodes or noodles!
blinkyeyed
first comment haha
lucywithpearl
The Dutch pillow is also a Pepsi pillow
Joelrassic
What’s the difference between a Frenchman & a piece of toast? You can make decent soldiers outta a piece of toast!
BrockenSpectre
Is that title an LA NOIRE reference?
Macnido
The French are always on strike, that's why.
someusernamethatsfree
Vertical stripes are harder to make than horizontal.
minedontstink
I thought the French flag was all white.
MichelGoussu
French people asked for theirs to be more expansive, as it's a fashion cushion from Paris, and they don't want pple to lower the standard
FloridaMansSideKick
The red and the blue are different shades though (in the proper flags).
Screamlord22
Thanks Detective Phelps!
Sporkeldee
I learned this from lord of war.
E1Tmp
Looks like a simple marketing trick: to allow customer to feel smart while thinking about dumb sale, imagining he's saving 6 euros.
PinstripePotoroo93
There's 2 things I can't stand in this world. Those intolerant of other people's culture. And the Dutch.
MyName4Wine
https://imgur.com/ZCp8l5q
OliverUgala
I bought the French version but they sent me the Dutch one :-(
ProfessorChaos
Should send this as a complaint and see if they will admit it's the same thing.
SnesC
Because Frenching a girl is more expensive than going Dutch.
Snarkoleptic
If you do it well it's free
rattlebone10
:) Thanks for the laugh.
Idontwanttomakeanotherusername
I surrender, I'll pay more money for the same thing
NickBurkhardtcankillyourspritanimal
but not dutch, it is a garbage language for a garbage people.
donkeyofdoom
@op have you perhaps watched the canadian egg playing lanoire ?
LongDickStyleMadaFaqa
I haven't, enlighten me please!
donkeyofdoom
Well the (x) doubt in the title was quite a resemblance of norternlion playing la noire
ThatOneSceneInThatOneMovie
@Chocolateco0kie
QueenCousland
I will never get used to commas being used like that.
BlueManticore
It's wrong, we need another crusade... for science this time
DownvotesAreFun
And I will never get used to M/D/Y .
riceronijones360
It's almost like people in different countries... have DIFFERENT CUSTOMS. Imagine that...
DeGanjaman
Except one is clearly better and the other terrible. Not gonna say which, I'll let you fight that out.
riceronijones360
Doesn't mean you gotta shame people for something they've been used to doing since birth. You think since I don't measure in meters that 1/2
riceronijones360
means I think the metric system is shit? Not true.
CarbonShaft
Buy the French pillow,u can use it as Dutch too just rotate.
monjoinoctave
Duh that's the j... Wait...
FreddieAndersson
bread1
That's just cheating, can you even live with yourself knowing you didn't buy the proper cushion? To become a living BIG FAT PHONY.
sloppyyyy
o captain! my captain!
Selkii
SassySashay
GrantLeavitt
Or Russian.
Brainlord
you can buy the french to dutch conversor pillow, it's only 9.99, lifetime guaranteed and unlimited uses!! (pillows not included) call now
justforsteam
Well, you ruined the joke
MonsieurLeMoustache
OH YEAH REALY
just4thelolz
The economy relies on people like you.
WunTuBlame
ThoughtfulTortuga
Thank God you were here.
retardland
save my life
HardOfHearingLeopard
Wasn't the Dutch flag the less expensive one?
WheresTheCoochieJon
Exactly
zethlington
Woosh
[deleted]
[deleted]
zethlington
Woosh
jrntn
That's the joke
Mayhempenguin
Why not buy the Dutch, it's cheaper
zethlington
Woosh
BorkD
thatsthejoke.jpeg
Mayhempenguin
I don't think so, the dude who also replied to me thinks the french is cheaper,
WheresTheCoochieJon
That's the fucking joke
zethlington
That’s the joke.
WhyAmIHereIShouldBeWorking
Wouldn't buying the dutch pillow be logical? As it costs less but yields the same result
nonlineark
I think it was a joke
OfficialTerrorist
ImTotallyNotTheNSA
DinoHunter56
Can't decide if you didn't get the joke or if you're pretending to not understand to trigger people
WhyAmIHereIShouldBeWorking
riceronijones360
He's not pretending. He's pretending to have been pretending to save face. You damn pretender.
MyNameChegg
But what if he was only pretending to pretend to pretend? What do we do then?
Znayx
Just watched Lord of War a few days ago, so this was extra funny.
rattlebone10
Seriously? Me too! KONO
Racealistic
That movie has one of the best intro's i have ever seen in movie history.
DefinetlyNotARussianSpy
Something happened here
14November
What it is ain't exactly clear
dannne
Nick Cages best movie!
Baroonz
I still think Joe (2013) was his best but this was easily just as good
1dogsfordays1
Con Air?
SilkyZ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ekakWBxspA
dannne
Good movie but not his best
Canchocolatejustletmefinish
The Rock?
Kevlarkent
because dutch ppl are cheap af
IceCold01
BlueskydragonFX
Can confirm... I pick up every penny I see on the ground.
SexPenguinViolentVaginalVerticalIntegrationForPopeCuntFuckXIV
And powerful French pillow unions
IfILikeYourJokeITellYou
Give a Dutch man a penny and he'll make a copper fence
Knillis
So are you Belgian? I don't know any other people telling jokes about us, except ourselves
IfILikeYourJokeITellYou
My Grandfather is from the Netherlands actually. He has a lot of those jokes.
Knillis
I'll count you in as one of us. Now I'd like to ask you, what's the difference between a Belgian and a bag of shit?
Knillis
The bag.
DonSpecial
fuck you :) im dutch and im ni cheap. I wouldn give a penny for it
theDutchhaveinvadedSwitzerland
As Dutch person living in Switzerland: can confirm
Knillis
Bram?
theDutchhaveinvadedSwitzerland
sure, I'll bram ;)
Knillis
Hmm by the sound of that I don't think you're Bram
theDutchhaveinvadedSwitzerland
Correct ;)
Racealistic
Zuinig als neuk yep
TrueLegateDamar
Google translate I see, we don't use 'neuk' as a noun
Racealistic
Hahaha nee. Als je het letterlijk overneemt dan krijg je dat als een zin.
MyPowerLiesInMyBookshelf
"You have a lot to be proud of, being Dutch. Did you know they invented copper wire? Two dutch guys saw a penny at the same time."
Kevlarkent
nice :P
DeltaBlast
I've heard this one so many times, yet never with Dutch...
MyPowerLiesInMyBookshelf
Really? Only heard it once, assumed it was a Dutch joke.
Knillis
It is
DeltaBlast
I've mostly heard it with jews... If you google it without the subject, pretty much all hits are jews. But we Dutch are cheapskates too :D
Snarkoleptic
Bollocks. Everything, from architecture to amenities, is nice in the Netherlands. You're not cheapskates where it counts
BorneoBlackDog
Imagine being mixed chinese and dutch
Snarkoleptic
I would assume, if that were a girl, that she would be very attractive.
YourMomIsEverything
Ah, the true master race. You are the future.
ProgeriaProstitutes
You make stuff cheap and buy stuff cheap?
ilikebenches
lol....buy
uitSCHOT
We're not cheap, we are "zuinig"
[deleted]
[deleted]
Knillis
Het heet zuinig gij koekwaus
Knillis
Hettie net gezegd
Redisia
Same difference in most cultures lol
sentientseven
Ons benne zuunig!
EorlundGraymane
Skoftig es wa 'k zei
Knillis
Jungske denktoe vanne worstebrooike?
CoffeeDonutsAndCherryPie
Kijken kijken niet kopen
pandafishes
The French one has a zipper to pull out a white surrender flag pillow
WhatD0thLife
LOLOLOLOL The french have fought in more wars than any other nation but surrender jokes LOLOOLOL
MonsieurLeMoustache
as a french i usually don't like that kind of jokes but i admit, you got me here
Ainthoney
As a French, I should protest, but then again, I'm too afraid to get into a fight...
Locolarue
White is for the royal Bourbon dynasty and red and blue are the Parisian militia colors.
jkwi
nah they just ship it from the US so they can have their own cushion
[deleted]
[deleted]
TheKimlilEra
You. Mr Funny guy, huh? ... I like you. Keep it up. *sly wink and walks away*
waspy17
After WW2, the British said this about the Italians. Forgetting all about the Romans taking over Britain for like 400 years.
itooenjoyboobies
Savage! Haha
JamieSmyth
[deleted]
[deleted]
SneksOnPlane
The reason the French just gave up at the start of WWII is because of WWI, they were worried they would lose a millions of men again.
JamesMartin97
They didn't surrender in the great war. They held the line for years. 4 to be exact
LongDickStyleMadaFaqa
WillowWoods
Perfect for pillow fights!
aj863
As a Brit I never understood why they got so much abuse about this. If they had the luxury of being surrounded by water like we did, 1/2
TheBritfag
A real Brit would know why we tease the French. Fuck off you falseflagger.
aj863
and didn't have the huge disadvantage of being attached to the enemy(!) Things would have been much different.
EricSieracki
They were a land power, and they knew it was coming. But they couldn't get out of their own way, and caved to German demands.
TheBritfag
Because they were an industrial powerhouse with a magnificent military and history, only to be absolutely demolished in under a week.
Irax
But they threw up only hell of a fight. There are towns in France that were retaken as much as 20 times in that period.
EricSieracki
they only lasted a bit longer than the Poles. It was an embarrassment to their gleaming military record.
matt1981m
not gonna lie...best reply I have seen in a long time!!!
abcEasyAs123
Same thing is posted on most of these repost. Funny sure original nah.
AwesomeTeddybear
Did you know that the colour green in the French flag stands for standing your ground while facing an enemy?
ashmenon
French downvotes coming in hard!
MightyBlockHead
But there no....... ohhhhhh nice
Gorzine
But there's no green in the french fla... Ooooooh
Xen300
If that's the case, so should the Dutch one. And the Belgian, Polish, Danish & Norwegian ones, but you leave them alone, don't you?
easyridercat
Really it should be a European Union flag. They did nothing but cave to Nazi Germany. Or maybe a flag of Neville Chamberlain.
ProxPIox
French were much stronger than those nations combined. Vichy French caved to everything Hitler wanted and more.
Durango
1 In these case, it's more a question of power rather than incompetence. Belgium or Netherlands are small as fuck with a very small military
Durango
2 Yet Belgium (more specifically the Chasseur Ardennais unit) was described as "Green wolves" by Rommel because how hard they fought despite
Durango
3 the whole country being crushed in less than one week. They stalled the german more they they though. France however, was a huge EU power
Durango
4 and everybody was expecting them to drag Germany into a long-distance war. But numerous blunder and half of the country siding with
Madredeux
I've never got this joke, people seem to forget that people werent making those jokes when Napoleon was out doing his thang
UncleTomahawk
I believe it’s a reference from the battle of Dunkirk.
clawthewolf
Even though French Forces held off the Germans so the British could escape
ProxPIox
WW2. Vichy French were considered coward collaborators even by other French.
LadyWidebottom
Probably because they only really started to earn that reputation after Napoleon was long dead?
theDutchhaveinvadedSwitzerland
Triggered
Gorzine
Also he wasn't short. He vas 1.69cm which is pretty standard for this time period (mith came from misinterpretation of scales and 1/2
Gorzine
that his personnal guard were especially tall men so obviously in paintings he is shorter than the surrounding people) 2/2
tighthead01
1.69 cm?
Gorzine
Yeeeaaah i'm lacking sleep... I mixed up 169Cm and 1.69m...
HollyFlamingNinjaNaziBatman
Napoleon wasn't short he was 1 cm that's tiny wake up sheeple Napoleon was tiny. Tiny I say
ICantBelieveItsNotGif
I love how France was widely regarded as the most powerful military in the world until ww2, then they fucked it and have never lived it down
ProxPIox
Well to be fair, even French people call Vichy French surrender monkeys because of their Nazi collaboration.
nipplepanties
That and got a bad rap because they were hesitant to get into conflict after WW2. Can you blame them? Two world wars IN your country?
jkwi
thats how the US thank their allies...
thorkun
I have heard it as americans being angry that de gaulle threw out american soldiers, and later refused to join iraq war. But I'm not sure 1/
thorkun
As someone who has played a lot of EU4, I still think it's a stupid fucking meme. Also, france refused to join iraq war, not de gaulle :P
Nubsva
French were considering the most poweful military on land until 1870, not until WW2.
Wuddel
They were regarded as that until 1871, when Germany took over. But even after that they were regarded as formidable; no "surrender monkeys".
outvilejelly
The collaboration of the Vichy government should have become more infamous than the 'surrender'.
NobodyReally3
Them French knights though
DidNotInhale
They suffered horrifically in WW1 and in WW2 we’re completely taking by surprise by the Blitzkrieg they expected to hold the Germanys back
DrFlump
Honestly, it's better to leave people with their own realities. We have a great military history with a largely competent army, even today.
AwesomeTeddybear
Not the Spanish? Or the English? Or the Dutch? Or the Romans? Or the Persians? Or the Mongols? You do know there's a long history before ww2
kojenk
I just tens to remember the entire French resistance movement along with the other countries similar groups.
kojenk
Though killing rape victims and german sex slaves at the end...
kojenk
Seriously there were a lot of women abused during occupancy who were killed by their own people after. Not to mention
kojenk
A good number were spies helping the war effort and many had crucial info on escaping nazi war criminals after the war ended, which was lost
dannu17
"...but the maginot line! That will prevent the enemy from getting to us!" Reminds me of a certain wall going up in America...sigh
TheresAGermanWordForThat
It's a stupid meme that most people here mostly use because of the Simpsons, just like the South Park Scheisse Scheiss.
ProxPIox
This is one of the few times that the Simpsons didn't start a trend. French surrender meme has been a thing since WW2.
TheresAGermanWordForThat
Not invented, but popularized, esp. amongst the internet crowd, who usually know jack shit about France and/or military matters.
ImAkuTheShapeShiftingMasterofDarkness
It’s not the fact that they lost. It’s more on how bad they lost.
BiggieCheeseForStateGovernor
Throwback to when France had the biggest line of forts and artillery on their border to stop any German assault 1/2
BiggieCheeseForStateGovernor
But then the Germans just went through some woods next to it and the French were all like 'fucc it, k u win :/'
DorthLous
You mean when one general fucked up the defence and the lands were already occupied? Not like the population resisted after... Oh wait.
BiggieCheeseForStateGovernor
The blitzkrieg didn't seem to care about Belgian neutrality and look what happened
BiggieCheeseForStateGovernor
Lol the fact that they didn't bother defending the Belgian border in case they offended them was dumb
AgolfHiller
Those croissanting cunts got Rekt so hrd thy could have nvr life it down boi
conedog
Would you like to buy a vowel?
ShinyMatador
Username checks out. Kind of
AgolfHiller
Need to look up the French word for salty since I see a lot of salty croissants
raminagrobis
This meme about France is a bit weird considering the number of nations that got invaded and/or surrendered during WW2.
zippydee
Didn't Pavlov and his little squad kill more Germans in their one corner of Stalingrad than the French killed in the entire invasion?
magicrhombus
I think it has to do a lot with how strong they fronted, and how easily they fell. Built the damn Maginot line, Germans just went around it.
magicrhombus
Nobody thought Belgium could resist the Germans, but France performed way below expectations.
EricSieracki
Those nation's didn't have potentially the most powerful millitary in the world at the time tho.
FikL
Neither did France, not after WWI, the 1870 war, Napoleon's wars... It had bad consequences on demography and economy.
EricSieracki
The French army was widely regarded pre WW2. And they only held on for a bit longer than the Poles.
TheBritfag
It's more to do with the fact that their military was fuck-huge, and they held their own in WW1. Then just got demolished in WW2.
BonkyMcSignFace
Why do you love that? Have you read a history book about how all of France's allies abandoned them in the name of appeasement? Get fucked.
ICantBelieveItsNotGif
Username checks out
BonkyMcSignFace
Wow. So original.
Shoutrr
france lived it down, the usa suddenly got a urge to use this stupid rhetoric during the second gulf war, when france refused to help
Shoutrr
because of fake evidences.
Commandershepard13
From what I understand, WWII only really started those jokes in Britain, they didn't become popular in America until France refused to 1/
BullyMaguire69
https://youtu.be/TUrezmW1EPI
BullyMaguire69
I remember jokes about France a long time before that.
Commandershepard13
support the 2003 invasion of Iraq. 2/
Schmongo
From what I remember we were hacking on 'em since WW2.
theusernameimlookingfor
As most french people undertstand it, Chirac called bullshit on the whole weapon of mass destruction thingy.
jonbenwaa
The whole "freedom fries" debacle
secondbest
Freedom kissing FTW!
mineovermatter
Yea that just piled it on. It was a meme long before, probably a result of capitulation in WWII and the Vischi.
shangooo
Don't they also have one of the best military records?
WhyIsThisStillEvenAQuestion
Yes, but they've sucked it up since 1815.
easyridercat
Of 168 battles fought since 387 BC, they have won 109, lost 49 and drawn 10. But they muddled up WWII so none of that counts.
Kyrorayne
France lost to Germany in the Franco-prussian war so bad that they fucked the Germans at the end of WW1 with war reparations out of spite.
Kyrorayne
One of the best militaries, before Napoleon invaded Russia. Since Germany united again in the 1800's, they either beat France or fought
NCPBullet
Muddled up? It took germany 4 days and thats because of rain
denigreur
yeah, but they lost it way before that when they put their ressources on the Maginot line which even stopped at Belgium.That's the muddle up
easyridercat
Are we arguing the same point? The French had many missed opportunities to stop the Germans. Crippled by a lack of leadership, political 1/?
ZanarkandAbes
Nevermind that Belgium got walked through twice...or the Netherlands. Or that Germany surrendered twice to both wars.
HMatti
Well as a belgian, we make fun of our own army
EricSieracki
Yeah, but no one expects Belgium to put up a fight. France however, was at least military equals of the Germans at the start.
PocketScout
Walked through three times*
tatischief
Well to be fair, but I do think Germans do get lot of shit for the ww2...
TheBritfag
Right, but both Belgium and the netherlands are barely a fraction the size, and population, of France. Nevermind a non-existent military.
GodelEscherBach
Belgium did amazingly both times. Admittedly, it did better during WW1 than WW2, but still.
maniabass
Belgium resisted 6 days against the huge Nazi army.
WhyEvenName
Thats interesting to know
ARandomHelljumper
Some Chasseurs Ardennais regiments fought for 24 days against the Wehrmacht. https://youtu.be/iGtEH1i78sI
ashmenon
We have other better stereotypes for Netherlands.
Alighierian
Legal weed, hookers lining the streets and windmills powering the tulip fields.
ashmenon
And bikes.
adam1111
Germany surrendered because the entire world was against them, and they did apocalyptic amounts of damage before then.
ilikefoodmorethanpeople
Norm Macdonald has a bit about it. "You'd think it would be over in like five seconds, but it was actually pretty close"
Spinnyd
Just think what would have happened if hitler hadn’t attacked Russia.
GodelEscherBach
Credit where it's due: the Wehrmacht was amazing. Largely thanks to copious amounts of crystal meth. Fuckers were out of their skulls.
SexualConsent
Didn't they invent a drug cocktail that made it so that their soldiers could march for 55 miles straight?
frisian
The Netherlands was Neutral during WW1, but indeed didn't have a propper army in 1940
mbos14
we tried to catch up when we saw the shit coming but it was a little to late. we ended up fighting by using the land to our advantage.
mbos14
and with outdated equipment and the grebbe line in place we held of long enough to capture a paratrooper platoon and piss of hitler 2/?
mbos14
enough that he bombed one of our cities into a firesea and destroyed it completely. and i know it wanst the full german army attacking. 3/?
frisian
Correct, we counted on the grebbe line and being neutral. There was also feirce fighting near kornwerderzand I believe.
edgarbird
Yeah but the Netherlands has nice people and is already getting fucked by the ocean.
EzioWasTheBestAssassin
Netherlands... The only country in war with the ocean since like ever
sunyudai
No, Marshall Islands, Tuvalu, and Kiribat are all losing that battle. The Netherlands is holding their own at least.
PartyMagician
More like making the ocean their bitch